NationStates Jolt Archive

I am bored and want to see funny (possibly stupid) stuff. Remember that I have no sound here, though.

Let the fight begin!

As I often start fights:

My vision of the Future:

(2028)

This is the BBC World service. Here is the News:

The British army has won another Victory in the War agianst America and the City of New York has Fallen. Canadian troops have taken Boston.

British Children are being Evacuated to Sierra Leone and the Colonies Britain had in 2008. 1 Ship is lost.

Prince Harry's troops in Florida have taken Orlando.

In France the Civil War continues. In Germany the break up of the Country after the Civil war will be fully enacted at Midnight Tonight.

In Singapore American refugees of the Clinton Dictatorship have been rounded up for the safety of the British Empire.

In Israel the City of Baghdad is celebrating 10 years of Israeli Control.

Tsar Putin has visited Manchuria, with a view to annexing it after the Chino-Japanese war left Both countries in Ruins.

In Egypt the collapse of the Aswan Dam will be allowed to continue as the farmers protested in Cairo.

The Queen's tour of Rhodesia has seen her Visit the former Dictator Robert Mugabe. He will shortly be hanged for crimes against Humanity. The PM of Rhodesia, Anne Widecombe has declared the forthcoming Execution a "Triumph for Civilisation".

I'll give you a fact to keep you busy... and afraid. The pugs are in a gigantic underground empire and are bidding their time to attack us with their spys everywhere... and I also am a pug :eek:!!!!

Fight?
Don't know about that however i do have some other observations.

I suggest an alliance between all types of animal to rise up against our human oppressors, for too long have they eaten our succulent meat in those sweat chicken burgers, for too long have they fried our bodies over those barbeques on a nice hot day with a glass of beer, and too long have they had a lovely roast turkey on christmas day with all the trimmings and bread sauce and mint sauce and gravy and stuffing.......too long! now is the time!
I suggest a new alternative to animal cruelty, human cruelty! by throwing in all those people who deserve to be eaten! then eaten with all those nice additions, and the animals can watch in awe and wonder at the change of events.
Surely the true allegiance of the giant purple chicken in the sky will grant these changes with uproar that will rattle the very walls of Olympus, Valhalla and heaven!
A new war! a War against those who order super size portions a war against those who offer free delicacies to shoppers nearby, unite chickens and pirannas! unite donkeys and cattle! unite sheep and horses! unite all types of fish and sharks! There will be a new day, a day for all animals to cast off the shackles of oppresssion! There will be a day i can wake up to where i will hear the cows mooing in the distance, elephants stampeding in their new roller skates and there will be free condoms for monkeys who are a bit too over-active!
What say you, animals of the caged species! What say you, animals of the whip and the electric cattle prod! What say you free animals of the world!

Fight?
Don't know about that however i do have some other observations.

I suggest an alliance between all types of animal to rise up against our human oppressors, for too long have they eaten our succulent meat in those sweat chicken burgers, for too long have they fried our bodies over those barbeques on a nice hot day with a glass of beer, and too long have they had a lovely roast turkey on christmas day with all the trimmings and bread sauce and mint sauce and gravy and stuffing.......too long! now is the time!
I suggest a new alternative to animal cruelty, human cruelty! by throwing in all those people who deserve to be eaten! then eaten with all those nice additions, and the animals can watch in awe and wonder at the change of events.
Surely the true allegiance of the giant purple chicken in the sky will grant these changes with uproar that will rattle the very walls of Olympus, Valhalla and heaven!
A new war! a War against those who order super size portions a war against those who offer free delicacies to shoppers nearby, unite chickens and pirannas! unite donkeys and cattle! unite sheep and horses! unite all types of fish and sharks! There will be a new day, a day for all animals to cast off the shackles of oppresssion! There will be a day i can wake up to where i will hear the cows mooing in the distance, elephants stampeding in their new roller skates and there will be free condoms for monkeys who are a bit too over-active!
What say you, animals of the caged species! What say you, animals of the whip and the electric cattle prod! What say you free animals of the world!
Beasts of England, Beasts of Ireland...

There's a fun personality test here (http://thesurrealist.co.uk/personality).

There's a fun personality test here (http://thesurrealist.co.uk/personality).

yes if you want to complete it in the year 2050! there's well over 200 questions all asking the same sort of thing! i didn't bother answering them and clicked next page and found it went on forever.

yes if you want to complete it in the year 2050! there's well over 200 questions all asking the same sort of thing! i didn't bother answering them and clicked next page and found it went on forever.

Shhh! Don't tell anyone!

There's a fun personality test here (http://thesurrealist.co.uk/personality).

Amusing.

Shhh! Don't tell anyone!

okay then i won't tell a soul.:p

Do a search on posts by Lunatic Goofballs.

Asm of eight-fangs: “Flee if you wish! I need the exercise."

Captain Baunt: “This is unreasonable! If he felt dejection, why not simply jump into the sea? Why suborn our valuable worm to his personal and private uses?”

Cugel: "I am not one to crouch passively with my hind-quarters raised, awaiting either the kick or the caress of destiny! I am Cugel! Fearless and indomitable, I confront every adversity!"

Bubach Angh: “A man I will kill for my eye! Do I toil thirty-one years for the benefit of a vagabond!”

Bunderwal: "I am a dignified citizen of the area, not a fox-faced vagabond in an over-fancy hat."

Chief Elder: “Though formerly a vagabond and a cut-throat, you are now a prince, a man of responsibility.”

Deodand: “I desire the one who has entered. I hunger for her flesh.”

Doulka: “Must your disgust be so blatant? True: we are anthropophages. True: we put strangers to succulent use. Is this truly good cause for hostility? The world is as it is and each of must hope to in some fashion to be of service to his fellows, even if only in the form of soup.”

Drofo: “After a hundred worms and ten-thousand leagues, then with justice you may say, 'I am wise!' or, to precisely the same effect: 'I am a worminger!'

Funambule: “Inconsequential claptrap!”

Fuscule: "I am a worminger, not a student of weird physiological mysteries.”

Guyal of Sfere: “My eye went to you like the nectar moth flits to jacynth.”

Iolo: “Surely you agree that this hole is half my property!”

Kindive the Golden: “Out of the room quickly! Mischief lurks somewhere and I must blast it with magic!”

Krasnark: " I suggest that Master Chernitz retract the term 'moral leaper' and Cugel his 'tree-weasel', and there let the matter rest."

Liane the Wayfarer: “I can suffocate you in pearls, blind you with diamonds.”

Lodermulch: “What have we here? I thought to detect knavery, and here is justification! Return my money on the instant!”

Morreion: ”To inflict but a pin prick upon a single one of my enemies I would have died by torture a hundred times!”

Mermalant: “Do you carry beer? We are beer-drinkers of nobles repute and show our bellies to all.”

Nisbet: “Two: hours of lose philosophizing will never tilt the scale against the worth of one sound belch.”

Duk Orbal: “…your exhibit seems somewhat makeshift and impromptu. Contrast, if you will, the precision of Zaraflam’s cockroaches!”

Pharesm: “Ah! Five hundred years I have toiled to entice this creature, despairing, doubting, brooding by night, yet never abandoning hope that my calculations were accurate and my great talisman cogent. Then, when it finally appears, you fall upon it for no other reason then to sate your repulsive gluttony...! I can define the gravity of your act in this manner: should I explode you on this instant into the most minute of your parts the atonement would measure one ten-millionth of your offense. A more stringent retribution becomes necessary.”

Peasant: “Notice: I drink wine, though I may not live to become drunk. Does this deter me? No! I reject the future; I drink now, I become drunk as circumstances dictate.”

Rhialto: “Pryffwyd, your vision is dim; you do not recognize me for Rhialto. I am working to place your eyes at the end of foot-long stalks. You will soon be able to see in all directions at one.”

Shierl: “You are not uncomely.”

Shilko: “What do you perceive? Goblins disguised as pick rats? Or centipedes dancing the kazatska?”

Slaye: “I will make you a grandee of the realm! You shall have a barge of carved ivory, and two hundred maidens shall serve your wants; your enemies shall be clamped into a rotating cauldron—only give me the amulet!”

T’Sain: “I know not know how to explain beauty. You seem to find joy in nothing. Does nothing give you satisfaction?”

T’Sais: “Only killing and destruction. So these must be beautiful.”

Varmous: "I am not apt for magic; weirdness makes me ery."

Voynod: “Take care, you dunghill-cocks!”

http://www.classicreader.com/read.php/bookid.2058/sec./