NationStates Jolt Archive

So, I've talked to a few of my female friends lately, and apparently the two I am closes to do not want to get married. One of them don't want to go through all the hassle that comes with a wedding, and I think the other one isn't in any hurry to get married. However, they are willing to live with their boyfriends (if they have any) in a committed homogeneous relationship. Personally I could go either way, I can either get married or live with a girlfriend in a committed homogeneous relationship. So what about the people of NSG? Do you want to get married, or are you happy with just living together, or are you in a relationship and aren't? If not living together or married, then why not?

For those who are already married, or living together, tell us why and how you came to your decision.

So, I've talked to a few of my female friends lately, and apparently the two I am closes to do not want to get married. One of them don't want to go through all the hassle that comes with a wedding, and I think the other one isn't in any hurry to get married. However, they are willing to live with their boyfriends (if they have any) in a committed homogeneous relationship. Personally I could go either way, I can either get married or live with a girlfriend in a committed homogeneous relationship. So what about the people of NSG? Do you want to get married, or are you happy with just living together, or are you in a relationship and aren't? If not living together or married, then why not?

For those who are already married, or living together, tell us why and how you came to your decision.

I'm married, though I lived with my wife for 15 years b4 getting married. As far as why we chose to get married, well we figured what the hell we'd been together that long we might as well.

I'm married, though I lived with my wife for 15 years b4 getting married. As far as why we chose to get married, well we figured what the hell we'd been together that long we might as well.

Wouldn't you be common law married after 15 years though?

Wouldn't you be common law married after 15 years though?

Not if...

1. where I live common law marriages have been abolished
2. she was married to someone else for that period

both of which are the case

Couple of different reasons why my wife and I decided to tie the knot. We're both kind of old fashioned in that regard, so even though we had been living together we both wanted to get married. Also, given that this is an international marriage, it is very much to our advantage to get married as one of us does not have the full protection of citizenship in the other's country. This meant that should, God forbid, something happen, neither the US or Japan would be willing to allow the other certain rights for an alien who is the live in partner of said citizen. Building on that, it also makes immigration and visas MUCH easier for the two of us since we're married and said visas give us far more options than what we were on so...

But, mainly because we love each other and wanted to celebrate that with our friends and family and publicly proclaim we're in for the long haul.

But, mainly because we love each other and wanted to ... publicly proclaim we're in for the long haul.
You make it sound so romantic.

You make it sound so romantic.
What? Our relationship or the wedding? The relationship is (And I hope will always be) romantic, the wedding was this nightmare that we're both glad is over. We're also glad we have it on DVD because while we got told it's the happiest day of our lives, neither one of us remembers it too well. :D

What in the world is a homogeneous relationship? Is that one where you and your partner are spread out equally throughout the room?

What in the world is a homogeneous relationship? Is that one where you and your partner are spread out equally throughout the room?

That could be a really bad mental image, depending on your mental process...

Lived together... got married... now married and not living together (although that's more to do with the sad facts of geography than our relationship).

Live together because you love one another, marry to get into other countries :)

I am currently not married nor living with my significant other; however, hopefully the latter will change sometime in the conceivable future, and the former is the general goal.

I want to get married; I could never live my life with someone without getting married. Call me old-fashioned, call me whatever, but I want to make that commitment in front of a crowd and say the vows and know that I am coming home every day to my husband. My parents marriage is my model of everything a relationship should be, so I guess that's part of it. I hope I'm as happy as them, thirty years down the road. Until this past summer, they had never spent more than one night apart since being married... some twenty-five (at least) years ago. My dad spent a month up north before my mom moved up there with him (she had to settle stuff down here), and I woke up every morning to find her sitting in the living room with a cup of tea, having barely slept the night before. She just couldn't without him there. I want that.

Of course, you can have that without a marriage - but for me, it makes a difference.

Edit: I would HAVE to live with my SO before we got married, though. Just like I'd never marry someone I hadn't had sex with; people can be incompatible on all sorts of levels, and I want to test all those waters before I stand up and say I'm (hopefully) going to spend the rest of my life with them.

It's early for me to be thinking about this (my boyfriend and I have only been together a month), but I'm more for marriage than living together. Perhaps if living situations were complicated, like either one of us couldn't find an apartment, I'd consider living together outside marriage. Separate beds, though.

I'm a little old fashioned, too. I completely agree with Amarenthe on this one. My ladyfriend and I have been together for three years. If things continue as they've been going, in another three years we might be married. After we're done with college, or at least one of us is.

My model is also my parents' relationship. I can never remember them being angry with each other for more than a day. They were quite obvously deeply in love with each other, from as far back as I can remember to when my dad died, and my mom still goes to the cemetery to sit by his grave quite often. Then again, my grandparents too, both sets had extremely good marriages, lasting fifty years in both cases (my grandfather on my mom's side passed away a couple years after their fiftieth anniversary, my grandparents on my dad's side are nearing their 60th year of happy marriage).

So yes, I guess I'm an idealist, I want to get married, I want to live with someone I can refer to in conversation as my wife, and to be her husband. Sappy, I know.

My model is also my parents' relationship. I can never remember them being angry with each other for more than a day. They were quite obvously deeply in love with each other, from as far back as I can remember to when my dad died, and my mom still goes to the cemetery to sit by his grave quite often. Then again, my grandparents too, both sets had extremely good marriages, lasting fifty years in both cases (my grandfather on my mom's side passed away a couple years after their fiftieth anniversary, my grandparents on my dad's side are nearing their 60th year of happy marriage).

My parents marriage is my model of everything a relationship should be, so I guess that's part of it. I hope I'm as happy as them, thirty years down the road. Until this past summer, they had never spent more than one night apart since being married... some twenty-five (at least) years ago. My dad spent a month up north before my mom moved up there with him (she had to settle stuff down here), and I woke up every morning to find her sitting in the living room with a cup of tea, having barely slept the night before. She just couldn't without him there. I want that.

You know, I have the same kind of parents. My parents have been married for 31 years and I have never seen them fight or go to bed angry, and I think they have a wonderful and great marriage. The same goes for my brother and his wife, I think they have the same marriage as my parents.

As for me, I don't know, I'm 24 and single. I never had that much luck in the relationship department, either the women get tired of me, or I get tired of them. You all know how I act on here, well it's the same in real life, so I need to find someone that'll take me as I am, have one hell of a patience level, and can pretty much accept the fact that I may love them and care about them, but I also like to maintain some form of independence, and that I'm a Libertarian who is liberal on social issues, and I live in the Baptist Bible Belt.

That could be a really bad mental image, depending on your mental process...... or a winner of thread :p

I'd never marry someone I hadn't had sex with
:eek:
*sobs*
http://www.websmileys.com/sm/sad/014.gif
;)
You're very much right about compatibility.
:)

I doubt I'll ever get married. I'll probably die a bachelor. :(

I recently got married, but we'd lived together for about 4 years, so I didn't really mind either way.

My wife and I got married 10 years ago, and it works for us. We got married primarily because we wanted to - because we had decided that we both wanted to spend the rest of our lives together and marriage is a nice easy way, recognised across the society that we live in, to make that decision public. It was also expected of us, as our families are a bit traditional in that regard, as was the church wedding (a little piece of hypocrisy that is the only thing in my past that I'm ashamed of) but I'm sure we'd have married anyway since, at the end of the day, it was what we both wanted.

Some couples don't see the need and are happy to simply cohabit, and that's fair enough. Some couples would like to marry but can't, for legal reasons, and that annoys me. Some relationships involve more than 2 people and I'm not sure how marriage could be adapted to fit their lifestyle, but it's their choice and it should be recognised as being as legitimate as any other kind of relationship, in my opinion.

Simple 1 man/1 woman marriage works for us, but it's not necessarily the answer for everyone. I know unmarried couples who have lived together for decades, married couples who spend every moment together, and a married couple who live in separate houses and only get together at the weekend. I also know a few people who date occasionally but have decided that they'd rather stay single. They all seem to be happy enough, and that's what matters.

This poll is missing an option for some of us.

Living together and going to get married next year.
I don't really feel any particular need to get married, but it'll save us a good bit of money on taxes. Also, we're planning on buying a house as soon as we can, and have kids, so we decided to get the wedding over and done with while we have a bit of free cash to spend on it.
Without those plans (and the tax benefits) I'd be more than happy to just live together with my BF. I don't think marriage changes a relationship one way or another, although a lot of people seem to think that.
We're not planning on going "exclusive" either, we're both happy swingers after all.

I'm very happily married. Why did we do it? Because we love each other and want to spend our lives together. Pretty simple.

I never understand why people don't get married if they say they are committed to each other; it's almost like saying "we don't have faith in the strength of our relationship, so we'll not go the whole way".

And I really don't understand people who say "it's not fair! Why can't cohabiting couples have the same rights as married couples, in some sort of cohabiting contract?" There already is a 'cohabiting contract' - it's called marriage.

I'm very happily married. Why did we do it? Because we love each other and want to spend our lives together. Pretty simple.

I never understand why people don't get married if they say they are committed to each other; it's almost like saying "we don't have faith in the strength of our relationship, so we'll not go the whole way".

And I really don't understand people who say "it's not fair! Why can't cohabiting couples have the same rights as married couples, in some sort of cohabiting contract?" There already is a 'cohabiting contract' - it's called marriage.

Mostly cause for some people, getting married is an unecessary expense and hassle.
Apart from taxes and citizenship issues, marriage has no practical use for most people.

I'm very happily married. Why did we do it? Because we love each other and want to spend our lives together. Pretty simple.

I never understand why people don't get married if they say they are committed to each other; it's almost like saying "we don't have faith in the strength of our relationship, so we'll not go the whole way".

And I really don't understand people who say "it's not fair! Why can't cohabiting couples have the same rights as married couples, in some sort of cohabiting contract?" There already is a 'cohabiting contract' - it's called marriage.

Because marriage includes a lot of elements which cohabiting couples may not want other than the basic legal protections (which is what a cohabiting contract may be about).

I personally don't believe in marriage for a number of reasons. Firstly, I'm fiercly independant and as such there are a lot of connotations around marriage (or will be civil partnerships in my case) that I'm not too happy with. Secondly, I resent the implication that I'd need a special ceremony to legitimize my relationship with anyone else. Thirdly, I think people can change and grow apart and as such I disagree with the 'til death do us part' aspects of marriage.

Of course, my cynical view may be because I grew up seeing my parents marriage fall apart for many many reasons, and seeing my Mum live very happily for many years with my (now) step-dad without getting married (they eventually did for legal reasons).

Because marriage includes a lot of elements which cohabiting couples may not want other than the basic legal protections (which is what a cohabiting contract may be about).

Marriage is entirely what the couple make of it. In this day and age, where you can get married 10 minutes after meeting someone in a Las Vegas casino, you can't exactly claim that it carries the same strings to it that it perhaps once did.

I personally don't believe in marriage for a number of reasons. Firstly, I'm fiercly independant and as such there are a lot of connotations around marriage (or will be civil partnerships in my case) that I'm not too happy with.
You can retain a huge degree of independence in marriage. Like I say, it's what you make of it.

Secondly, I resent the implication that I'd need a special ceremony to legitimize my relationship with anyone else.
Then don't have a special ceremony. You can pretty much do it as clinically as signing any other contract these days.

Thirdly, I think people can change and grow apart and as such I disagree with the 'til death do us part' aspects of marriage.
Then why should you get the legal protections? Why should you inherit your partners house when, by your own admission, you might not still be together in a few years time?

Of course, my cynical view may be because I grew up seeing my parents marriage fall apart for many many reasons, and seeing my Mum live very happily for many years with my (now) step-dad without getting married (they eventually did for legal reasons).
This is what I think is at the root cause of the objections to marriage. All I ask is this: if we should come up with a new 'contract' because people have negative associations with marriage, then what do we do in 50 years time when we have a new generation who have seen their parents split up from these 'cohabiting contracts'? Come up with another new contract?

I'm in a committed monogamous heterosexual relationship with my lover of 5+ years. We've been living together for about 2 years now.

I don't like what marriage symbolizes in my culture. I also know that I personally stand to lose a lot if I get married, since I will suddenly have to put up with hassles about my name, cultural expectations about my domestic/marital role, and radically increased pressure to have babies. I don't especially love weddings, nor do I particularly want to have one of my own.

If left to myself, I probably would not get married.

However, marriage is something that means a lot to my partner, to his parents, and to my parents. My mother (a radical feminist if ever there was one) once said, "Your mother still has one little shred of traditionalism left to her: please get married before you have kids."

If my partner asked me to marry him, I would probably say yes. I wouldn't see it as any more of a commitment than I have already made to him, but it would be a symbolic gesture that would make him very happy.

Me and my wife got married (after living together for a year) because it was important to her and her family, not me. My love and commitment are not base on some archaic ritual.

I never understand why people don't get married if they say they are committed to each other; it's almost like saying "we don't have faith in the strength of our relationship, so we'll not go the whole way".

For me, it's the opposite. I don't need a legal contract to get me to commit to my partner. I don't need to have witnesses to the fact that I love my partner and am bonded to him as a life-mate. I don't need him to make any public oaths or sign any papers.

Frankly, I find it pretty insulting that you assume marriage is "going the whole way." To me, the proof is in the pudding. I know a couple who got married and divorced within the last three years. Was their 18-month marriage "going the distance," while my 5+ year ongoing relationship is somehow coming up short? Somehow I don't see it that way.

I've been married for 18 years now, we lived together for two years before hand, we got married coz I asked her and she said yes.

You know, I have the same kind of parents. My parents have been married for 31 years and I have never seen them fight or go to bed angry, and I think they have a wonderful and great marriage. The same goes for my brother and his wife, I think they have the same marriage as my parents.
I guess our images of the ideal marriage will be shaped by our parents.

My parents taught me that the only way for a couple to avoid fighting is to not talk to one another about anything contentious. My mom once told me that if you think you can be deeply in love without ever getting pissed off and yelling at that person, then you've never been in love before.

My parents have fought. They've hollered sometimes. But watching them taught me how people who love each other fight.

They NEVER, ever, called each other names. Sometimes they would curse, like "This is so fucking stupid," but they will never call each other bitch or asshole or anything like that.

They NEVER got physical, in any way.

Even when they're hollering, they are communicating. They are telling each other why they're angry/hurt/whatever. And when the other person hollers back, they are responding, because they listened.

In my parents' bathroom there's a little wooden sign that reads, "Never go to bed angry. Stay up and fight." And they do.

I don't think it's realistic to hope for a seriously relationship in which you never fight. Lots of people get the idea that if you're in love you'll never fight, and I think that's bullshit. Sure you will. The key is to remember that even when you're really angry with your partner, you still love them.

I've fought with my partner, and I'm glad for every fight we've had. Every argument we've had has helped me understand him in ways I could never have done otherwise. Seeing how he treats me when he's angry is also amazingly reassuring. After all, it's easy to be nice to your partner if you're happy with them, but how you treat them when you're pissed is the real measure of your love and respect for them.

So, I've talked to a few of my female friends lately, and apparently the two I am closes to do not want to get married. One of them don't want to go through all the hassle that comes with a wedding, and I think the other one isn't in any hurry to get married. However, they are willing to live with their boyfriends (if they have any) in a committed homogeneous relationship. Personally I could go either way, I can either get married or live with a girlfriend in a committed homogeneous relationship. So what about the people of NSG? Do you want to get married, or are you happy with just living together, or are you in a relationship and aren't? If not living together or married, then why not?

For those who are already married, or living together, tell us why and how you came to your decision.

I am in a Civil Partnership with my other half (after 39 years together).
The reasons: Full next of kin rights and less chance of a disputed will after one of us dies.
:fluffle:

So, I've talked to a few of my female friends lately, and apparently the two I am closes to do not want to get married. One of them don't want to go through all the hassle that comes with a wedding, and I think the other one isn't in any hurry to get married. However, they are willing to live with their boyfriends (if they have any) in a committed homogeneous relationship. Personally I could go either way, I can either get married or live with a girlfriend in a committed homogeneous relationship. So what about the people of NSG? Do you want to get married, or are you happy with just living together, or are you in a relationship and aren't? If not living together or married, then why not?

For those who are already married, or living together, tell us why and how you came to your decision.

Chances are I will not get married to anyone or live with anyone. I also doubt that I will ever have a "relationship".

Lived with my husband for about 4 years before we got married. Getting married was a matter of getting all the legal protections associated. Having a wedding was our way of celebrating the decision to officially commit with our friends and family.

Go relationships!

As for myself, I "live" with my girlfriend (read squat her house). It's really a neverending (yet) happiness story.

I would not get married even if I was paid for it, though (and I'm not baptised).

Still, I hope this lasts for long, because life is so easy that way...No pressure, full love, happy bunnies forever.

This poll is missing an option for some of us.

You mean: "(want to be) Without a relationship"?

I live with my partner and don't want to get married. As it stands, we are two individuals who choose to be together; we're not kept together by any societal expectation, by any tradition, by any financial dependency or by any legal means but are together because we love and respect each other and because we are happy together. I like it that way, and I expect it to continue in the same way until one or other of us drops dead.

I was (miserably) married previously - being "official" changed our relationship since he didn't think I would go through with a divorce and saw it as a license to be a Grade A Asshole. I stayed around, even when it was clear that things would never improve, because we were married.

I much prefer to be in a relationship where we are both free to leave; I know that he doesn't leave because he doesn't want to (and vice versa) not because there are external pressures to stay.

Having said all that - I do worry about his IHT bill if I die first, so if I have any warning about it, I'll marry him first to save tax ;)

I don't have strong feelings on the matter. Ok, so I don't really want to go through with a traditional wedding ceremony or any of that shit, but as for the rest.... well, I can't recommend it to any eventual partners, as relationships involving me are bound to go sour at some point and they will eventually want out, but I don't have any real preference otherwise.

What in the world is a homogeneous relationship? Is that one where you and your partner are spread out equally throughout the room?

Yes

mur don't see the point of marraige unless you get more money because of it, as the process is really expensive and stressful to arrange the wedding. besides if you love someone you don't need to prove that to other people or the state.
Marriage=doom
doom=no self?
no self?=non-existance
non-existance=Lunatic Goofballs
Lunatic Goofballs=insanity
insanity=existance
existance=suffering
suffering=marriage
marriage=doom
...Thus a never-ending circle.

<snip> as the process is really expensive and stressful to arrange the wedding.

:confused:
Mine took about 15 minutes to arrange and cost $30...

:confused:
Mine took about 15 minutes to arrange and cost $30...

Oh i guess i'm wrong then. on that point at least.
I still don't see how it's worth $30 of your money when your reletionship doesn't really change other than you can say "hey look i got a shiny ring!" like a permanent aim for finding that ring to rescue and claim your own, i don't want to end up like Gollum do you? Marraige is teh evil thing.

I don't care. It could be either way. But I rather prefer to live together. Marriage scares the living crap out of me.

i like the idea of getting married and actually celebrating and proclaiming (with ceremony) your commitment to each other. maybe i'm old-fashioned, maybe i'm a hopeless romantic (;)) but the idea has always appealed to me on a personal level. my parents being married for almost 40 years now probably helps that view :)

that said, i don't care if other people get married or cohabit... makes no difference to me

I don't care. It could be either way. But I rather prefer to live together. Marriage scares the living crap out of me.

It shouldn't make any difference in your relationship, mine hasn't...
Of course, the only reason me and my wife got married was for tax advantages.

I'm married, and I like it. I don't really care for weddings though. I think too many people get married because they fall in love with the *idea* of a marriage (or a wedding).

I would strongly advise living together for at least a year before getting engaged, just to make sure.

:eek:
*sobs*
http://www.websmileys.com/sm/sad/014.gif
;)
You're very much right about compatibility.
:)

Sorry, bebe. :p

I'm not going to quote it (because I'm lazy), but the post about parents fighting - mine are very similar. They would scream and yell and slam doors and my mom would cry (not often by any means, but it happened), and sometimes, my dad would start off on the couch. But they never stopped talking to each other; they never called each other names, they never got physical, and they never woke up the next morning still angry. I can think of a few times where the fight would gradual become less angry and more playful, until eventually my mom would throw a pillow and my dad would fill cups of water in the bathroom and chase my mom down the hall with them... and they'd be laughing like little kids.

By no means do they have a flawless relationship, but the do have an amazing one. My SO and I aren't quite there yet, but I have hopes. Maybe one day. :)

It shouldn't make any difference in your relationship, mine hasn't...
Of course, the only reason me and my wife got married was for tax advantages.

It shouldn't, but I've seen couples that have lived together for many years and suddenly, they get married only to file for divorce a year later. Plus, the white dress-stroll down the aisle-say I do-stuff really scares me. I'm not really sure why, perhaps I'm not ready to settle into a definate thing.
Now, as for the tax advantages, that's a good one...:D

Marriage is a legal construct. I see no reason why I should take part.

Yes, I realise that before it was a legal construct it was a social construct. I still don't see why it should matter to me.

It shouldn't, but I've seen couples that have lived together for many years and suddenly, they get married only to file for divorce a year later. Plus, the white dress-stroll down the aisle-say I do-stuff really scares me.

Meh, got married in a courthouse, absolutely nothing fancy, the only other people there were our best friends.

I'm not really sure why, perhaps I'm not ready to settle into a definate thing.

If the thought of getting married is scary to you, then that's probably a safe bet.

Now, as for the tax advantages, that's a good one...:D

It's worked so far...

Meh, got married in a courthouse, absolutely nothing fancy, the only other people there were our best friends.



If the thought of getting married is scary to you, then that's probably a safe bet.



It's worked so far...

Well, marriage, in any way, be it a religious ceremony or a civil one, spooks me.

I agree with you.

Glad it's working for you.:)

I agree with you.

As well you should.... Mwahahahaha!
:p

As well you should.... Mwahahahaha!
:p

http://i144.photobucket.com/albums/r173/claudialarkin/winkingsmiley.gif
But I wonder, what would happen if I didn't agree with you? Eh? Eh?

http://i144.photobucket.com/albums/r173/claudialarkin/winkingsmiley.gif
But I wonder, what would happen if I didn't agree with you? Eh? Eh?

You'd gain a condition that means you have a chronic winking disorder?

http://i144.photobucket.com/albums/r173/claudialarkin/winkingsmiley.gif
But I wonder, what would happen if I didn't agree with you? Eh? Eh?

*hangs head and kicks at random objects*

nothing :(

You'd gain a condition that means you have a chronic winking disorder?

LOL!

*hangs head and kicks at random objects*

nothing :(

Ok.
Awwww, you look like a forlorn kid. Let me pat your head.:D

I don't have an SO, but I want one. I want to get married, but as for living with her prior to marriage, I don't think so. I understand that there can be incompatibilities that show up, but by the time I'm far enough into the relationship to discover them, I'd probably be sufficiently in love to adapt.

I don't have an SO, but I want one. I want to get married, but as for living with her prior to marriage, I don't think so. I understand that there can be incompatibilities that show up, but by the time I'm far enough into the relationship to discover them, I'd probably be sufficiently in love to adapt.

Yep, I know a lot of divorced people who tought so, too.

I don't have an SO, but I want one. I want to get married, but as for living with her prior to marriage, I don't think so. I understand that there can be incompatibilities that show up, but by the time I'm far enough into the relationship to discover them, I'd probably be sufficiently in love to adapt.

Do you also believe that one doesn't learn anything from failure? Just curious.

I'm noot sure if I could live with someone. I get very territorial and tend to bite and mark my territory.

I'm noot sure if I could live with someone. I get very territorial and tend to bite and mark my territory.

Neutering usually helps with that.

What in the world is a homogeneous relationship? Is that one where you and your partner are spread out equally throughout the room?

I think he meant monogamous.

I think he meant monogamous.
Or harmonious?

I think he meant monogamous.

Or harmonious?

No, it's almost certainly "monogamous", which is closer to "homogenous" in meaning and structure... and sounds (though does not look) similar.

Furthermore, while both make sense in context, "monogamous" fits better.

I'd like to get married. I don't care about ceremony, so I'd do it civilly, at a courthouse, but I like the idea of making a legal commitment to someone else.
Living with someone else would be fine, too.

One of them don't want to go through all the hassle that comes with a wedding,She can get married without having a wedding.

i really don't know about this stuff. I'm 11 years old. But i do know one thing.
(If you live with someone you live longer) :) Peace babe

I think he meant monogamous.

Yea, I did. Last time I try using a word that I heard instead of read. >.<

i really don't know about this stuff. I'm 11 years old. But i do know one thing.
(If you live with someone you live longer) :) Peace babe

You´re 11! What the heck are you doing in a forum where adult topics are discussed?!

You´re 11! What the heck are you doing in a forum where adult topics are discussed?!

No shit...
Besides isn't there something in the T&C that you have to be 13 for the forums?

Do you want to get married,

No; I think it's pointless. One of the things I've never understood about my parents is why they decided to... I've asked them, and gotten mostly non-answers.

or are you happy with just living together,

I think I will be, if/when it happens with my theoretical boyfriend/girlfriend.

No shit...
Besides isn't there something in the T&C that you have to be 13 for the forums?

I thought I read that too. Do the admins. know about this?

You´re 11! What the heck are you doing in a forum where adult topics are discussed?!

Oh, come on. It's not like this is a pornography forum. There's nothing here that's particularly dangerous.

Oh, come on. It's not like this is a pornography forum. That's nothing here that's particularly dangerous.

(.)(.)

Oh, come on. It's not like this is a pornography forum. That's nothing here that's particularly dangerous.

Well, if the rules say you have to be 13, then he shouldn't be here... Not that I'm going to make the effort to turn him in.

Oh, come on. It's not like this is a pornography forum. That's nothing here that's particularly dangerous.

Well, we did have a string of threads that talked about sex, what turns us on, what music we play, etc. Not that there's anything wrong with that in of itself, it's just that sometimes parents can be complete idiots and instead of actually monitoring what their children are looking at on the Internet, they bitch and complain to the owners and Mods of this forum.

(.)(.)

( o )( o )

Well, if the rules say you have to be 13, then he shouldn't be here...

I suppose. Though such rules are broken rather routinely.

Well, we did have a string of threads that talked about sex, what turns us on, what music we play, etc.

What's so dangerous about that?

instead of actually monitoring what their children are looking at on the Internet

Why should parents monitor what their children are looking at on the Internet?

Why should parents monitor what their children are looking at on the Internet?

I hope you're joking.

What's so dangerous about that?

I did say "While there's nothing wrong with that in of itself. Learn to read the whole post man.

Why should parents monitor what their children are looking at on the Internet?

Because that's the role of a responsible parent? Kinda goes hand in hand with raising their child don't you think?

I hope you're joking.

Nope.

I did say "While there's nothing wrong with that in of itself. Learn to read the whole post man.

I did. I don't see how it's relevant.

Yes, it might encourage parental anger, but other than that I don't see why anyone would worry about people of any age reading them. It's not like they were being particularly graphic.

Because that's the role of a responsible parent? Kinda goes hand in hand with raising their child don't you think?

Well, if you mean that parents should do it themselves and not delegate the task, I agree.

I merely argue, in addition, that the proper level of such supervision is very low. Warn then, yes--tell them not to give out private information, and so forth--but other than that....

Nope.

Then I hope you're not a parent...

Then I hope you're not a parent...

You're in luck this time.

(.)(.)

( o )( o )

Pfft.

( . )( . )

Those are real, I swear.

You mean: "(want to be) Without a relationship"?
I was thinking "non-existent" or "imaginary" or "What do you call your status when your significant other is your right hand?"

I was thinking "non-existent" or "imaginary" or "What do you call your status when your significant other is your right hand?"

You call it masturbating. *nods*

So, I've talked to a few of my female friends lately, and apparently the two I am closes to do not want to get married. One of them don't want to go through all the hassle that comes with a wedding, and I think the other one isn't in any hurry to get married. However, they are willing to live with their boyfriends (if they have any) in a committed homogeneous relationship. Personally I could go either way, I can either get married or live with a girlfriend in a committed homogeneous relationship. So what about the people of NSG? Do you want to get married, or are you happy with just living together, or are you in a relationship and aren't? If not living together or married, then why not?

For those who are already married, or living together, tell us why and how you came to your decision.

I have done both. Been married twice and had a live in once. There isn't a nickles worth of difference if you are monogamous. Just cheaper to split up if you aren't married. Though legally if you live in a common law marriage state you are supposed to actually divorce when you split. :rolleyes:

I was thinking "non-existent" or "imaginary" or "What do you call your status when your significant other is your right hand?"

"It's Complicated".

There isn't a nickles worth of difference if you are monogamous.

Why does marriage imply monogamy?

i really don't know about this stuff. I'm 11 years old. But i do know one thing.
(If you live with someone you live longer) :) Peace babe
That's actually only true for men. Single women live longer than married women.

I'd get married for 2 reasons:

1. The old ladies at my church would kill m if I had kids outside marriage.

2. I would only live with someone I loved, and the stress of a wedding would be worth it for someone I love.

i really don't know about this stuff. I'm 11 years old. But i do know one thing.
(If you live with someone you live longer) :) Peace babe

Welcome.

In response to those worried about having an eleven year old here, at that age, half of the boys in my form had porn on their mobiles, I was the appointed buyer of a certain newspaper (and I don't mean the sun) and one girl had had sex!

That's society nowadays. Deal with it.

Welcome.

In response to those worried about having an eleven year old here, at that age, half of the boys in my form had porn on their mobiles, I was the appointed buyer of a certain newspaper (and I don't mean the sun) and one girl had had sex!

That's society nowadays. Deal with it.

I don't really care age-wise, I simply commented on the fact that I thought you were supposed to be at least 13 (and wondering whether or not his parents had any clue as to what he's doing online).

My SO and I aren't quite there yet, but I have hopes. Maybe one day. :)
So you're at the pillow stage, but not the cups of water stage? :p

Why does marriage imply monogamy?

I suppose because it involves a vow on the order of "forsaking all others..." that was even in my JoP ceremony.

So you're at the pillow stage, but not the cups of water stage? :p

Exactly. I just don't know if we're ready to take that step yet, you know? I mean... it's kind of a big deal. Pillows, fine. Pillows are fun. Pillows are safe. Cups of water are a whole 'nother ballgame. I just want to make sure we're really ready for it.

:p

Exactly. I just don't know if we're ready to take that step yet, you know? I mean... it's kind of a big deal. Pillows, fine. Pillows are fun. Pillows are safe. Cups of water are a whole 'nother ballgame. I just want to make sure we're really ready for it.

:p

The only time i've done any flinging of cups of water, it was at the cats yowling at each other just underneath my balcony window. :p
I wouldn't recommend rubber bands, but might you consider super-soakers?
Or perhaps soapy-luffas? *nods emphatically*

Personally, I want to get married to the person I'm engaged to. However, I don't see marriage as a "goal" in life. There's no point getting married unless you're head-over-heels in love. Also, I believe you can be in love and living together, and I respect the fact that some of those people see marriage as a piece of paper.

So you're at the pillow stage, but not the cups of water stage? :p

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/relationship_tragically

No, I don't know why I posted that either.

I suppose because it involves a vow on the order of "forsaking all others..." that was even in my JoP ceremony.

Does it? Even the civil ceremony? Oh shit, I'll have to cancel our wedding then ... :(

Personally, I want to get married to the person I'm engaged to. However, I don't see marriage as a "goal" in life. There's no point getting married unless you're head-over-heels in love. Also, I believe you can be in love and living together, and I respect the fact that some of those people see marriage as a piece of paper.

Seconded.
It's not advisable to marry someone you don't love, anytime and in any situation. Even when you're mad at him/her, even when he/she farts in bed, even when he/she snaps at you for no reason and hurt your feelings. Marriage only make sense when you actually love them even then, and know you're being loved back despite and because of all your faults.

Then again, the above doesn't mean that the next logical step is marriage. I think love is the basis to build a marriage on, but it's not a reason to get married, really.
To me, getting married now is mainly cause I want to spend the rest of my life with my BF, and marrying him will make matters a little easier when it comes to buying a house, having kids, insurances, etc. Those are currently all in favour of married couples rather than just cohabiting ones, and so marriage to me is a way of getting unnecessary obstacles out of the way.

I will chuck in FREE BONUS INFO about why me and mrs sirmomo1 (yes, she chose to take my name) decided to get married:

Neither of us knew if marriage was a good idea or not because we hadn't done it, but people asked started to ask us when we were going to get married so we figured there was a simple way to stop that question.

Oh and love and stuff.

I will chuck in FREE BONUS INFO about why me and mrs sirmomo1 (yes, she chose to take my name) decided to get married:

Neither of us knew if marriage was a good idea or not because we hadn't done it, but people asked started to ask us when we were going to get married so we figured there was a simple way to stop that question.

Oh and love and stuff.

Such a romantic.

Seconded.
It's not advisable to marry someone you don't love, anytime and in any situation. Even when you're mad at him/her, even when he/she farts in bed, even when he/she snaps at you for no reason and hurt your feelings. Marriage only make sense when you actually love them even then, and know you're being loved back despite and because of all your faults.
.

Aww, I have that! :)


Then again, the above doesn't mean that the next logical step is marriage. I think love is the basis to build a marriage on, but it's not a reason to get married, really.
To me, getting married now is mainly cause I want to spend the rest of my life with my BF, and marrying him will make matters a little easier when it comes to buying a house, having kids, insurances, etc. Those are currently all in favour of married couples rather than just cohabiting ones, and so marriage to me is a way of getting unnecessary obstacles out of the way

I also think the actual marriage ceremony is a wonderful celebration of that love. I mean, sure, being married gets rid of those obstacles, and it's fair enough if people don't want to celebrate marriage, but I definitely want an awesome wedding, haha!

Aww, I have that! :)

We both ought to count ourselves lucky then ;)
I've been through some misery in that repsect, and I know a good few people suffering from broken hearts and bad relationships... I know I just got lucky this time, and it makes every day a little brighter.
Do I sound too soppy now?



I also think the actual marriage ceremony is a wonderful celebration of that love. I mean, sure, being married gets rid of those obstacles, and it's fair enough if people don't want to celebrate marriage, but I definitely want an awesome wedding, haha!

It's a good reason for a nice party all right. I'll be having a small one, though... I've never been one for big events, and I'm not really that into my family either.

I've been married for four months now, still in what people call the 'honeymoon period'. I wanted to get married for all the same reasons, I love her, she's my one and only etc.

I've been married for four months now, still in what people call the 'honeymoon period'. I wanted to get married for all the same reasons, I love her, she's my one and only etc.

:eek: I wonder if she'll still love you if she knew your alter-ego was "highly racist empire".

We both ought to count ourselves lucky then ;)
I've been through some misery in that repsect, and I know a good few people suffering from broken hearts and bad relationships... I know I just got lucky this time, and it makes every day a little brighter.
Do I sound too soppy now?

Yes, you do. :D We sure are lucky.




It's a good reason for a nice party all right. I'll be having a small one, though... I've never been one for big events, and I'm not really that into my family either.

I don't know if a want a big wedding, but I know that to do what I want I don't want financial restraints.

We lived together for about 2 years while saving to afford for the church wedding. Then I realized, that if anything happened to me as a firefighter, she would not be entitled to any of the benefits. So we ran and got married at the Magistrates office just to make it legal.

Had the church wedding a year later, and we have been together for 15 years with 3 kids.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/relationship_tragically

No, I don't know why I posted that either.

I think you have a pretty good reason or two, even if it's not quite surfacing. :D