NationStates Jolt Archive

Just to lighten up the mood around here!

Here is one I had with Wiztopia just a few moments ago(i'm Thomas. Wizzy is Dr. Insanity):

Thomas says (1:42 AM):
I'm bored mate
Dr. Insanity says (1:42 AM):
me too
Thomas says (1:44 AM):
wanna have e-sex? I'll go first. Hey there baby. I have a 3 1/2 floppy. But seeing yourspecs gives me a hard drive. Mind if I plug my usb into your port?
Dr. Insanity says (1:44 AM):
sure if you want a virus
Dr. Insanity says (1:44 AM):
:p


Okay, it wasn't the funniest thing I have ever seen on MSN, BUT it caught me off guard for some reason, and I choked on my hot dog. :p

So post your humorous IM convos, so we can all have a laugh! :)

Dunno about IM, but www.bash.org is full of IRC gems. Check the top 50.

[@Weedums] You know the rodeo?
[@Weedums] When your doing a chick from behind then you say something to freak them out
[@Weedums] like your sister bit me in bed last night
[@Weedums] and she tries to get away?
[@Weedums] And you see how long you can stay on?
[@Weedums] Well... the best thing to say is...
[QuickSilver] hmmmm
[QuickSilver] ?
[@Weedums] "I have fucking siphilis bitch"
[QuickSilver] hahaha
[@Weedums] But when she said
[@Weedums] "oh I already have that"
[@Weedums] The game changed pretty quickly.

<s4xton> "fo shizzle ma nizzle" is a bastardization of "fo' sheezy mah neezy" which is a bastardization of "for sure mah nigga" which is a bastdardization of "I concur with you whole heartedly my African american brother"

<Donut[AFK]> HEY EURAKARTE
<Donut[AFK]> INSULT
<Eurakarte> RETORT
<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-RETORT
<Eurakarte> QUESTIONING OF SEXUAL PREFERENCE
<Donut[AFK]> SUGGESTION TO SHUT THE FUCK UP
<Eurakarte> NOTATION THAT YOU CREATE A VACUUM
<Donut[AFK]> RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]> ADDON RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> COUNTER-RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-COUNTER RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> NONSENSICAL STATEMENT INVOLVING PLANKTON
<Miles_Prower> RESPONSE TO RANDOM STATEMENT AND THREAT TO BAN OPPOSING SIDES
<Eurakarte> WORDS OF PRAISE FOR FISHFOOD
<Miles_Prower> ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND ACCEPTENCE OF TERMS

<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks?
<TheXPhial> vaccuums
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
<TheXPhial> black holes
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
<TheXPhial> lava?

<AgentSmith> It seems you have been leading two lives, Mr. Anderson. In one life, you are Robert Anderson, assistant cook at a Jack in the Box in Mesquite....in the other...you go by the chat alias "Randerson"...spreading homosexual propoganda, lying, and being a generally immature pest...
<AgentSmith> One of these...has a future.
<Randerson> LMAO OMFG where's the phone, I have to tell Dean about this
<AgentSmith> How can you use the phone when you cannot...speak?
*** AgentSmith sets mode: +m

<kow`> "There are 10 types of people in the world... those who understand binary and those who don't."
<SpaceRain> That's only 2 types of people, kow.
<SpaceRain> STUPID

[i8b4uUnderground] d-_-b
[BonyNoMore] how u make that inverted b?
[BonyNoMore] wait
[BonyNoMore] never mind

[MooseOnDaLoose] Hey Mike
[goatboy] what?
[MooseOnDaLoose] Pussy.
[goatboy] er?
[MooseOnDaLoose] Pussy.
[goatboy] and?
[MooseOnDaLoose] Pussy.
[goatboy] ...
[MooseOnDaLoose] Pussy.
[goatboy] i dont get it
[MooseOnDaLoose] AND YOU NEVER WILL.
[goatboy] bastard

<Firefly> Time for my prayers:
<Firefly> Our Father, who 0wnz heaven, j00 r0ck!
<Firefly> May all 0ur base someday be belong to you!
<Firefly> May j00 0wn earth just like j00 0wn heaven.
<Firefly> Give us this day our warez, mp3z, and pr0n through a phat pipe.
<Firefly> And cut us some slack when we act like n00b lamerz, just as we teach n00bz when they act lame on us.
<Firefly> Please don't give us root access on some poor d00d'z box when we're too pissed off to think about what's right and wrong, and if you could keep the fbi off our backs, we'd appreciate it.
<Firefly> For j00 0wn r00t on all our b0x3s 4ever and ever, 4m3n.

<Mendo> lmao there's a wicked lookign spider on my monitor and if i move the mouse around he chases after it
<spitfire> haha mendo
<spitfire> take a screen shot
<spitfire> wait
<spitfire> that made no sense

[@Chin^] My sister caught me jacking off the other week and calls me a pervert
[@Chin^] just the other day i walked into my room and caught my sister masturbating
[@Chin^] So she calls me a pervert again?!?
[@Chin^] there is no justice in the world...

<glacial> I love school
<glacial> Today our term paper due date's set
<glacial> Our instructor says that we WILL hand in the paper on time, and she'll accept no excuses except illness, with a note from our doctor, or a death in the immediate family, with a note from the dead member.
<glacial> So this wiseass pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?"
<glacial> She waits for the laughs to die down and says:
<glacial> "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand"

[Raven] I tried setting my hotmail password to penis.
[Raven] It said my password wasn't long enough. :(

<Paradox> So, guys, I have some news.
<Paradox> I know I usually don't talk much about stuff unless it's solid, but this is interesting, and I think you should know.
<Paradox> I just got an E-mail about an interesting proposition.
* volsung_ perks up.
<Paradox> Apparently, there are lesbians that want my 'hard cock.'
* volsung_ flips Paradox the bird.
<volsung_> :)
<Paradox> They want it 'now,' apparently, so the timetable is somewhat limited.
<volsung_> Are you going to just take their offer as presented, or is there an opportunity for negotiation?
<Paradox> I'm not sure.
<volsung_> I'm sure your hard cock is in great demand. An exclusive deal might not be in your best interest.
<Paradox> Last time I got an offer like this, there were some catches.


<_absent> I wish j00 could modify chicks like you can do to pc's all plug and play and shit
<_absent> if she talks to much
<_absent> pull out her sound card
<APE_> heh
<UzzaGangsta> nah man
<UzzaGangsta> have a control panel
<UzzaGangsta> mute the complaint and talkative channels
<_absent> j00 could upgrade her tits
<APE_> install linux on her and customize away
<ShadowofBob> and change her appearence =)
<UzzaGangsta> overclock her sex drive O_O
<_absent> she could playback mp3's too
<UzzaGangsta> ja
<APE_> and rip dvds on the fly
<ShadowofBob> you'd probably add ports and drives to her :P
<UzzaGangsta> heh shes already got the port im interested in O_O
<_absent> women really should conform to standard pc architecture
<_absent> it'd own
<ibor132> yeah it would

<Scofco> just because i like hairless chicks with small tits, and that are younger than me, does not make me a pedophile
<Scofco> it makes me borderline pedophile

<Axe> I
<Axe> do
<Axe> not
<Axe> know
<Axe> where
<Axe> family
<Axe> doctors
<Axe> acquired
<Axe> illegibly
<Axe> perplexing
<Axe> handwriting;
<Axe> nevertheless,
<Axe> extraordinary
<Axe> pharmaceutical
<Axe> intellectuality,
<Axe> counterbalancing
<Axe> indecipherability,
<Axe> transcendentalizes
<Axe> intercommunications'
<Axe> incomprehensibleness.
<JediHobbes> woah
<JediHobbes> *blinks*

11[08/25/05•05:50:30am] * FoZ|Stealth (~stealth@`stealth.is-the-last-man-standing.gamesurge) has Quit Life (Quit: G-LINED. User has been permanently banned from the Network for sexually harassing a staff member and asking for her phone #. GLINE Requested by admin.11)

CodeError: this cutoff can go fuck itself
ShineMS: hey watch your mouth
CodeError: i'll watch yours
ShineMS: while our dick is in it!
CodeError: our?
ShineMS: your*
CodeError: rofl
ShineMS: rotfl

I put on my robe and wizard hat.

I don't keep many records of my IM convos, but I and a few others keep records of IRC stuff.

My personal favorite is the following one.

<GValko> I still dream of the stories where Shinji gender bends and becomes a dom and Asuka the sub
<Cthulhu> That makes no sense, GValko
<GValko> I know.
<GValko> but I can dream.
<Cthulhu> There's no way in fuck Shinji's anything but a sub

Mainly because I'm right.


I also like this one.
<JackCain> I SHALL WREAK FURIOUS VENGENCE UPON YOU AND YOU SHALL KNOW THAT I AM HE WHO IS CALLED I AM
<JackCain> HAHA
* Cthulhu is now known as Iron_Chariot
* JackCain was kicked by Iron_Chariot (Judges 1:19)

I put on my robe and wizard hat.Ahh bloodninja.

* Sirocco beats Myrth with a protractor.
* Myrth beats Sirocco with a tractor
* Sirocco beats Myrth with a tor.
* Myrth runs over Sirocco with a combine harvester
* Sirocco pings Myrth's ear with an elastic band.
* Myrth pings Sirocco's face with his fist
* Sirocco pings Myrth's arse with an atomic bomb.
* Myrth explodes Sirocco
* Sirocco implodes Myrth
* Myrth forms a quantum singularity and sucks in Sirocco's remains
* Sirocco sends a letter to Myrth's parents.
* Myrth sends his parents to Sirocco
* Sirocco sends Myrth to a gay bar.
* Myrth bumps into Sirocco
<Myrth> Fancy meeting you here
<Sirocco> God dammit.

Ah, this was a long time ago, but I will always remember it.

I don't know if it's funny, but it's annoying, and it usually goes like this:

Idiot: AsL
Me: Do I know you?
Idiot: ASL?!?
Me: How did you get my email address?
Idiot: i duno
Me: Who are you?
Idiot: hu r u
Me: I asked first.
Idiot: *requests webcam conversation*
Me: Umm, no.
Idiot: y
Me: Because I have no reason to go on webcam.
Idiot: ur bein rude
Me: How am I rude?
Idiot: coz u wont u go on caaaaaaaaaaam y wont u
Me: Why? Because perhaps I don't want to get my tits out for some stranger with poor spelling.
Idiot: ur a b!tch
Me: You're pathetic.
Idiot: ur probly a fugli fat b!tCh aniwayyy
Me: You wish.
Idiot: fuk u b!tCh fuCkIn sLag
Me: *block*

[@Weedums] You know the rodeo?
[@Weedums] When your doing a chick from behind then you say something to freak them out
[@Weedums] like your sister bit me in bed last night
[@Weedums] and she tries to get away?
[@Weedums] And you see how long you can stay on?
[@Weedums] Well... the best thing to say is...
[QuickSilver] hmmmm
[QuickSilver] ?
[@Weedums] "I have fucking siphilis bitch"
[QuickSilver] hahaha
[@Weedums] But when she said
[@Weedums] "oh I already have that"
[@Weedums] The game changed pretty quickly.

<s4xton> "fo shizzle ma nizzle" is a bastardization of "fo' sheezy mah neezy" which is a bastardization of "for sure mah nigga" which is a bastdardization of "I concur with you whole heartedly my African american brother"

<Donut[AFK]> HEY EURAKARTE
<Donut[AFK]> INSULT
<Eurakarte> RETORT
<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-RETORT
<Eurakarte> QUESTIONING OF SEXUAL PREFERENCE
<Donut[AFK]> SUGGESTION TO SHUT THE FUCK UP
<Eurakarte> NOTATION THAT YOU CREATE A VACUUM
<Donut[AFK]> RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]> ADDON RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> COUNTER-RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-COUNTER RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> NONSENSICAL STATEMENT INVOLVING PLANKTON
<Miles_Prower> RESPONSE TO RANDOM STATEMENT AND THREAT TO BAN OPPOSING SIDES
<Eurakarte> WORDS OF PRAISE FOR FISHFOOD
<Miles_Prower> ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND ACCEPTENCE OF TERMS

<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks?
<TheXPhial> vaccuums
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
<TheXPhial> black holes
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
<TheXPhial> lava?

<AgentSmith> It seems you have been leading two lives, Mr. Anderson. In one life, you are Robert Anderson, assistant cook at a Jack in the Box in Mesquite....in the other...you go by the chat alias "Randerson"...spreading homosexual propoganda, lying, and being a generally immature pest...
<AgentSmith> One of these...has a future.
<Randerson> LMAO OMFG where's the phone, I have to tell Dean about this
<AgentSmith> How can you use the phone when you cannot...speak?
*** AgentSmith sets mode: +m

<kow`> "There are 10 types of people in the world... those who understand binary and those who don't."
<SpaceRain> That's only 2 types of people, kow.
<SpaceRain> STUPID

[i8b4uUnderground] d-_-b
[BonyNoMore] how u make that inverted b?
[BonyNoMore] wait
[BonyNoMore] never mind

[MooseOnDaLoose] Hey Mike
[goatboy] what?
[MooseOnDaLoose] Pussy.
[goatboy] er?
[MooseOnDaLoose] Pussy.
[goatboy] and?
[MooseOnDaLoose] Pussy.
[goatboy] ...
[MooseOnDaLoose] Pussy.
[goatboy] i dont get it
[MooseOnDaLoose] AND YOU NEVER WILL.
[goatboy] bastard

<Firefly> Time for my prayers:
<Firefly> Our Father, who 0wnz heaven, j00 r0ck!
<Firefly> May all 0ur base someday be belong to you!
<Firefly> May j00 0wn earth just like j00 0wn heaven.
<Firefly> Give us this day our warez, mp3z, and pr0n through a phat pipe.
<Firefly> And cut us some slack when we act like n00b lamerz, just as we teach n00bz when they act lame on us.
<Firefly> Please don't give us root access on some poor d00d'z box when we're too pissed off to think about what's right and wrong, and if you could keep the fbi off our backs, we'd appreciate it.
<Firefly> For j00 0wn r00t on all our b0x3s 4ever and ever, 4m3n.

<Mendo> lmao there's a wicked lookign spider on my monitor and if i move the mouse around he chases after it
<spitfire> haha mendo
<spitfire> take a screen shot
<spitfire> wait
<spitfire> that made no sense

[@Chin^] My sister caught me jacking off the other week and calls me a pervert
[@Chin^] just the other day i walked into my room and caught my sister masturbating
[@Chin^] So she calls me a pervert again?!?
[@Chin^] there is no justice in the world...

<glacial> I love school
<glacial> Today our term paper due date's set
<glacial> Our instructor says that we WILL hand in the paper on time, and she'll accept no excuses except illness, with a note from our doctor, or a death in the immediate family, with a note from the dead member.
<glacial> So this wiseass pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?"
<glacial> She waits for the laughs to die down and says:
<glacial> "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand"

[Raven] I tried setting my hotmail password to penis.
[Raven] It said my password wasn't long enough. :(

<Paradox> So, guys, I have some news.
<Paradox> I know I usually don't talk much about stuff unless it's solid, but this is interesting, and I think you should know.
<Paradox> I just got an E-mail about an interesting proposition.
* volsung_ perks up.
<Paradox> Apparently, there are lesbians that want my 'hard cock.'
* volsung_ flips Paradox the bird.
<volsung_> :)
<Paradox> They want it 'now,' apparently, so the timetable is somewhat limited.
<volsung_> Are you going to just take their offer as presented, or is there an opportunity for negotiation?
<Paradox> I'm not sure.
<volsung_> I'm sure your hard cock is in great demand. An exclusive deal might not be in your best interest.
<Paradox> Last time I got an offer like this, there were some catches.


<_absent> I wish j00 could modify chicks like you can do to pc's all plug and play and shit
<_absent> if she talks to much
<_absent> pull out her sound card
<APE_> heh
<UzzaGangsta> nah man
<UzzaGangsta> have a control panel
<UzzaGangsta> mute the complaint and talkative channels
<_absent> j00 could upgrade her tits
<APE_> install linux on her and customize away
<ShadowofBob> and change her appearence =)
<UzzaGangsta> overclock her sex drive O_O
<_absent> she could playback mp3's too
<UzzaGangsta> ja
<APE_> and rip dvds on the fly
<ShadowofBob> you'd probably add ports and drives to her :P
<UzzaGangsta> heh shes already got the port im interested in O_O
<_absent> women really should conform to standard pc architecture
<_absent> it'd own
<ibor132> yeah it would

<Scofco> just because i like hairless chicks with small tits, and that are younger than me, does not make me a pedophile
<Scofco> it makes me borderline pedophile

<Axe> I
<Axe> do
<Axe> not
<Axe> know
<Axe> where
<Axe> family
<Axe> doctors
<Axe> acquired
<Axe> illegibly
<Axe> perplexing
<Axe> handwriting;
<Axe> nevertheless,
<Axe> extraordinary
<Axe> pharmaceutical
<Axe> intellectuality,
<Axe> counterbalancing
<Axe> indecipherability,
<Axe> transcendentalizes
<Axe> intercommunications'
<Axe> incomprehensibleness.
<JediHobbes> woah
<JediHobbes> *blinks*

11[08/25/05•05:50:30am] * FoZ|Stealth (~stealth@`stealth.is-the-last-man-standing.gamesurge) has Quit Life (Quit: G-LINED. User has been permanently banned from the Network for sexually harassing a staff member and asking for her phone #. GLINE Requested by admin.11)

CodeError: this cutoff can go fuck itself
ShineMS: hey watch your mouth
CodeError: i'll watch yours
ShineMS: while our dick is in it!
CodeError: our?
ShineMS: your*
CodeError: rofl
ShineMS: rotfl

I just fucking LOLed hardcore. :p

I don't know if it's funny, but it's annoying, and it usually goes like this:

Idiot: AsL
Me: Do I know you?
Idiot: ASL?!?
Me: How did you get my email address?
Idiot: i duno
Me: Who are you?
Idiot: hu r u
Me: I asked first.
Idiot: *requests webcam conversation*
Me: Umm, no.
Idiot: y
Me: Because I have no reason to go on webcam.
Idiot: ur bein rude
Me: How am I rude?
Idiot: coz u wont u go on caaaaaaaaaaam y wont u
Me: Why? Because perhaps I don't want to get my tits out for some stranger with poor spelling.
Idiot: ur a b!tch
Me: You're pathetic.
Idiot: ur probly a fugli fat b!tCh aniwayyy
Me: You wish.
Idiot: fuk u b!tCh fuCkIn sLag
Me: *block*

How about for strangers with good spelling?

<<.
.>>

:p

How about for strangers with good spelling?

<<.
.>>

:p

Hmm... No. Rotovia would get jealous. :p

<ElTorrente> I forgot that I was male today.
<Hunter> I would like to make some sort of a witty retort for that. But I need details.
<ElTorrente> In Bio, people were talking about things that can cause genetic mutation during pregnancy. I thought, "So I won't be able to use a lot of chemical products when I'm pregnant?". Then I realized that I can't get pregnant anyway.
<ElTorrente> Well, first I remembered that I don't want kids. Then I remembered that I'm a dude.
* Hunter snickers.
<DarkGob> oh that's sad Torrent
<TSI> I guess he took all those birth control pills for nothing, then?
<Hunter> hahahaha

I like this one.

Some quotes from NS IRC channels (taken from the applicable thread on the NationStates forum). There are plenty more, too.

<Manveru> Remember kids! Sex between a man and a woman can be a beautiful thing, provided you are between the right man and woman.

<Karma> there was friggen in the riggen!
<SalusaSecondus> And wankin' on the plankin'!
<Karma> there was tossin in the crossin
<SalusaSecondus> Cause there was fuck all else to do!

<Doc_Evilonavich> AND THEN THE SKY DID RAIN SCREAMING FLAMEING BOLIVIAN GOAT HERDERS AS THE VERY EARTH DID VOMIT FORTH A VAST CASCADE OF CUCUMBER AND PAPRIKA SANDWICHES! AND LOW STILL DID THE NOUGHTY BUNNY NOT REPENT HIS FOUL MURDER OF MISS BADGER IN TEH DRAWING ROOM WITH THE TEA CAKE

<@DracheK> Weren' you gonna go get drunk and stare at binary porn?
<@Jon> I don't drink. And all porn is binary, you just have a kind monitor.

[01:22] <Hockey_Canada> wait a minute... i'm having one of those things... you know? a headache with pictures
[01:22] <Hockey_Canada> an idea!


[11:53] <Katganistan> Half the time, the Nationstates logo appears on the left side of the page and shoves the forum over into a narrow column
[11:54] <Katganistan> and it happens whether I use IE or firefox
[11:56] <Frisbeeteria> it's you. It's AOL
[11:57] <Frisbeeteria> go into Tools / options / settings / advanced and turn down your "AOL suckiness factor" to 2 or less.
[11:57] <Katganistan> LOL
[11:57] <SalusaSecondus> No no no, you need to defibrilate your network connection. Do you have an AED lying around?
[11:58] <Katganistan> I can steal one from work -- there's an emergency cabinet right across from my room.
[11:58] <SalusaSecondus> Yeah, but you may not want to wait. Just grab and extension cord and a sharp knife. We'll make our own

<Carlos> fascism is slightlz different to fascism

* Marina whacks a random person
* Quits: Nathi|druggedysleeps (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
<Marina> oops?
* Quits: Komo|SoA (Ping timeout)
<Mei_Ikari> Marina is a MURDERAH!
<Mei_Ikari> DOUBLE MURDERAH!
<Marina> and komo too..i'm good...too goo
* Rezo hires Marina as a hitman
* Marina whacks rezo
* Quits: ITD (Quit: Industry, science and technology." "Big men putting screwdrivers into things, turning them and adjusting them!)
<Marina> missed?
<Mei_Ikari> Marina si teh effective!
<Marina> i think i'll stop now..
* Marina huggles a Mei Kitty
<Marina> don't you dare ping out now....
* Quits: TuesdayIsAway (Quit: )

and likewise:

[14:18] * Doc_Evilonavich releases a raving loony
[14:18] * AustarUnion|Indigo has joined #nationstates

[18:59:55] * Joanna flips Siri's skirt up.
[19:00:01] * Indy|Zzz has joined #nationstates
[19:00:15] <Mei_Ikari> Whoa, you found Indy.

<Cthon98> hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
<Cthon98> ********* see!
<AzureDiamond> hunter2
<AzureDiamond> doesnt look like stars to me
<Cthon98> <AzureDiamond> *******
<Cthon98> thats what I see
<AzureDiamond> oh, really?
<Cthon98> Absolutely
<AzureDiamond> you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
<AzureDiamond> haha, does that look funny to you?
<Cthon98> lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that
<Cthon98> yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> awesome!
<AzureDiamond> wait, how do you know my pw?
<Cthon98> er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
<AzureDiamond> oh, ok.

<anamexis> oh man
<anamexis> I was opening a coke, right
--> Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind
<anamexis> and it exploded
<anamexis> ALMOST all over my keyboard
<anamexis> but I got it away just in time
<-- Beefpile has quit (sick fuckers)
<anamexis> :<

<Ben174> : If they only realized 90% of the overtime they pay me is only cause i like staying here playing with Kazaa when the bandwidth picks up after hours.
<ChrisLMB> : If any of my employees did that they'd be fired instantly.
<Ben174> : Where u work?
<ChrisLMB> : I'm the CTO at LowerMyBills.com
*** Ben174 (BenWright@TeraPro33-41.LowerMyBills.com) Quit (Leaving)

Rabidplaybunny87: Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me
GarbageStan23: why?
Rabidplaybunny87: Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all... and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.
Rabidplaybunny87: So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor's house was on fire!
GarbageStan23: oh shit!
Rabidplaybunny87: Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever
Rabidplaybunny87: Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....
Rabidplaybunny87: talk about bad timing...

<Jeedo> hey baby, whats up?
<Indidge> umm....nothing?
<Jeedo> So....want me to like come over today so we can fuck?
<Indidge> Wait....did you want to speak to my daughter?
<Jeedo> Yes Mrs.Miller.. :-/

<death09>my girlfriend broke up with me and sent me pix of her and her new boyfriend in bed
<ktp753>ouch.
<death09>yeah.i sent them to her dad

lolz

The group convos I have with Wiz, Kiryu, Maraque, and several others are the funniest shit ever...

...Though it's a shame that I don't save any of them.