NationStates Jolt Archive

Some people in the thread about anti-depressants have said that therapy has helped them. I've heard many other people say this before. I don't think I've ever heard anyone explain why exactly it helps them. Sometimes people tell me their therapist helped them come up with a plan, but they don't say exactly what that plan is or why they needed a plan in the first place.

I've seen a lot of different counselors. Most of them have just annoyed me, and the few that I got along with stopped seeing me shortly afterwards. Maybe I have just had insanely bad luck, but my experience is that they often don't remember what you said even if they pretended to write it down. They don't want to discuss the things you are really upset about or try to find the source of your problems like the therapists on tv do. If you tell them you find one class boring, they will call the school and tell them this, and the school will give you hell for it as well as extra homework. The list goes on.

Personally I don't have any problem with talking to my parents and friends about my problems. I can understand that some people aren't able to communicate very well with their family, but this isn't the case with everyone who goes to therapy. What makes a therapist worth the money?

It probably depends on the person, on the problem and on the therapist. If it didn't work there would be less people having therapy.A lot of children go to therapy because they're supposed to, and once you're in therapy the therapist always recommends staying in therapy. People listen to this advice because they're professionals and they're supposed to know more than you do. They don't say what you will have to do in order to be considered sane enough to not continue any more.

Adults go to therapy because sometimes it's part of their health plan, and people usually recommend it after someone dies or whatever. Personally I don't think there's a problem with being sad after someone dies. I would rather just be sad on my own than have someone bully me about all the details of my personal life.

I'm sure there are some people who need therapy. But therapy has gotten really popular in recent years, and it seems like almost everyone has seen a therapist at one point. I just don't understand how it benefits an ordinary person.

It probably depends on the person, on the problem and on the therapist. If it didn't work there would be less people having therapy.

A lot of children go to therapy because they're supposed to, and once you're in therapy the therapist always recommends staying in therapy. People listen to this advice because they're professionals and they're supposed to know more than you do. They don't say what you will have to do in order to be considered sane enough to not continue any more.

Adults go to therapy because sometimes it's part of their health plan, and people usually recommend it after someone dies or whatever. Personally I don't think there's a problem with being sad after someone dies. I would rather just be sad on my own than have someone bully me about all the details of my personal life.

I always thought people went to counselors if they had serious emotional or psychological problems. In that case they could help by listening or with other forms of therapy in order to stop those problems. Maybe your therapist just doesn't work because you don't have a problem or because you are forced to got there.

I always thought people went to counselors if they had serious emotional or psychological problems. In that case they could help by listening or with other forms of therapy in order to stop those problems. Maybe your therapist just doesn't work because you don't have a problem or because you are forced to got there.Well personally I have anxiety and ADD. People have given me breathing exercises to stop the anxiety. I've tried them. They do help me relax, but it's only a temporary solution. Besides, I have meditated every day for my whole life, and that is much more useful and relaxing than any "relaxation techniques." If I tell people about the meditation they just act like I don't know what I'm talking about.

Therapy isn't a "works or doesn't work" sort of thing. How it "works" depends on the problem, depends on the therapy. Sometimes a patient may have subconcious problems and not know the root of them leaving them unresolved, and a trained therapist can help tease out the reasons. Sometimes it may be due to repressed emotions or fears and a therapist can help bring them to light. Sometimes the patient doesn't have anyone to talk to, and lacking the means to discuss it with someone, hasn't really discussed it openly. Someone someone can be depressed and lack the energy and motivation to come up with a plan to accomplish things in his life and a therapist can help with that and help keep him on track. Sometimes all the problems can be a chemical imbalance, and not fixable by anything other than correcting the chemical imablance through medication

Therapy isn't as simple as "do X to fix it". HOW you fix it depends on WHAT it is.

Well personally I have anxiety and ADD. People have given me breathing exercises to stop the anxiety. I've tried them. They do help me relax, but it's only a temporary solution. Besides, I have meditated every day for my whole life, and that is much more useful and relaxing than any "relaxation techniques." If I tell people about the meditation they just act like I don't know what I'm talking about.
Tell which people therapists or regular people?
What do you do in an average therapy session?

Sometimes people tell me their therapist helped them come up with a plan, but they don't say exactly what that plan is or why they needed a plan in the first place.
I really don't see what they mean by "a plan". I guess you should ask yourself if you need help coming to a plan for your problems. If you don't, dont bother about it.

I've seen a lot of different counselors. Most of them have just annoyed me, and the few that I got along with stopped seeing me shortly afterwards.

What do you mean "stopped seeing me"?

Maybe I have just had insanely bad luck, but my experience is that they often don't remember what you said even if they pretended to write it down.

Sometimes its ok for them not to remember everything, they are only human and they have to remember things from every other patient. Although in your case it seems your counselors weren't really good...

They don't want to discuss the things you are really upset about or try to find the source of your problems like the therapists on tv do.

Well that's weird, since letting you decide what you want to discuss and helping you afterwards is the very core of their profession.

If you tell them you find one class boring, they will call the school and tell them this, and the school will give you hell for it as well as extra homework.

Thats not right for them to do. What you tell them is confidential. They can only breach it if it involves life-or-death situations. You can even legally sue the bastards!

Personally I don't have any problem with talking to my parents and friends about my problems. I can understand that some people aren't able to communicate very well with their family, but this isn't the case with everyone who goes to therapy. What makes a therapist worth the money?

Well thats for you to decide, does talking to your friends and/or family help you? If it doesn't or you feel a professional could help you better, read on...

Well first of all, going to a therapist must be your decision, i.e. you must know what your problem is/what you want to change a about yourself AND you must have the will to do it. There are different schools of psychology and different ways the therapist will help you, I suppose you are talking about psychoanalysis. They are worth your money because they can give you an unbiased analysis (unlike your family) and (supposedly) know something about the human psyche.

The way they help you is by making you see things in a different light or put forward things you yourself don't want to see or face, but ultimately you are the one doing all the the work, they act more of as a guide through your emotions and desires and help you connect certain dots. Dot-cennecting (ie: finding the causes of your problems) most of the time is the first step towards (partially)solving your problems. Dont missunderstand me here, the fact you are the one who ultimately comes to certain answers, doesn't mean you can do it on your own or that they dont put some answers in front of your nose. Also bear in mind it can be a lengthy process, and its up to you to decide when to stop, be it because you think you have either totally or partially solved your problems, or you want to take a "vacation" from therapy.

Also, not every therapist works for anyone, while most do or should.

What kind of counselors have you been seeing? were they school-counselors? do you know what professional degree they had?

Therapy works when there is active involvement by both parties. Don't expect a therapist to magically solve everything for you, it is as much about the patient actively working to take on board the therapist's advice and observations and solve things themselves.

The therapist is there to take an unbiased and knowledgeable look at your behaviour and thought patterns, find out the sources of problems and irrationalities, and explain to the patient what they are doing to perpetuate their problems and what they can do to solve or diminish them.

Most therapists are useless. The ones that are competent are booked solid for years.

The best therapy I've found is the following:

1. Administer medication of choice - for me it's a pot of properly brewed tea.
2. Get to your favorite vegging out spot - for me the easy chair in front of the fireplace - place pot of tea, cookies, cups, spoons etc on table by chair.
3. Draft your favorite therapy animal - I like my cats, Clyde or Persephone, they listen, allow me to pet them, when they comment it's something innocuous like "meow" and they purr, which is soothing. (I find that people get bored with depression after a few minutes and start saying things like "it could be worse" or "snap out of it" - things not inclined to help me feel better. Animals are far more patient. Trained therapists are worse because they want to drag my mother into the picture - the poor dear is dead and unable to defend herself, besides, I'm an adult and my problems are no longer her fault or my father's).
4. Stipulate that self harm or suicide is not an option.
5. Drink tea, eat cookies, pet cat and wallow in self-pity for a previously stipulated period of time.
6. Clean up and get on with life.

My depressions are, I suppose, fairly mild. While I have had occasional thoughts of suicide, I've found that giving myself permission to be depressed and taking what a Canadian priest friend of mine called an "emotional half-holiday" is better therapy than meds or therapists.

Therapy works when there is active involvement by both parties. Don't expect a therapist to magically solve everything for you, it is as much about the patient actively working to take on board the therapist's advice and observations and solve things themselves.

The therapist is there to take an unbiased and knowledgeable look at your behaviour and thought patterns, find out the sources of problems and irrationalities, and explain to the patient what they are doing to perpetuate their problems and what they can do to solve or diminish them.

Basically what the post above me says.

As a librarian, I'll say this for the ordinary-to-slightly-disturbed person:

A library card > Doctors or headshrinkers in almost every circumstance.

Seriously. Most shrinks use simple methods of cognitive psychology that amount to narrowing down what's 'wrong' with you by means of questioning or testing, and then read you a paragraph out of a book that you could get for free at your local library. *Some* shrinks use behavioral methods that you might have a harder time implementing on your own, or recommend mediation with family or friends that you might not be able to organize on you own, but otherwise: just ask a librarian. Unless you need meds, that's your best bet - my floor has hundreds of books on personality disorders, depression, family counseling, you name it, it's there.

Save a few thousand dollars - thank me later. :p

I've been to two different therapists/counselors before (for different problems) and both have helped me. The first one helped me with my fear (and nausea) of being around people. She gave me techniques that I could use to calm down when I was in crowds or around a bunch of people, and it helped a lot. I don't get nauseous from being around people anymore. :) My brother saw the same one for his depression and low self-esteem when he was 10 or so and she helped him, too.

Now I see a counselor who helps me with my self-esteem, with dealing with stress and anxiety, and with some of my fears. I don't have to see her as much anymore. I used to see her maybe once every two weeks but now I just see her about once a month. I really like her, she has a cat and the cat comes in sometimes and likes me, and once she gave me tea. She creates a really relaxing atmosphere and I think it helps me to have someone objective to talk to.

As a Pysch student, i say i do not belive in depression, clincical depression yes, but the everyday blues no. I refuse to get down or get depressed, its easy to sit their and wallow, i just get up and go out. Ive never been to therpy ever. Maybe thats what i need...... LOL:mp5:

For the same reason you can't rehabilitate rational criminals, therapy can't work on a rational agent.

For the same reason you can't rehabilitate rational criminals, therapy can't work on a rational agent.

Sure you can - convince them that continuing with some action isn't in their best interest. Again, I don't think you need to see a shrink to accomplish this, but it's good to know what your brain is up to and to stop problematic habits before they get entrenched.

Sure you can - convince them that continuing with some action isn't in their best interest.
A rational agent would already know this; such is the nature of rationality.

A rational agent would already know this; such is the nature of rationality.

Rationality is worthless if you're making decisions with inadequate information. If you're hurting yourself, others, or winding up in prison, then you're probably not aware of a good many basic things.

A rational agent would already know this; such is the nature of rationality.

That's no longer rationality. That's holding to a position regardless of what new information is introduced to you, which is irrationality.

And therapy requires more work from the patient than the therapist, but different styles of therapy are better for some patients than others. As a psyc student, I have my preferences, but what I like might not be what you like. It also sounds like you've been talking to school counselors, not licensed therapists, which is very different.

That's no longer rationality. That's holding to a position regardless of what new information is introduced to you, which is irrationality.
A rational agent cannot receive new information aboutthe contents of his own mind. He must already know the contents of his own mind to be rational.

A rational agent cannot receive new information aboutthe contents of his own mind. He must already know the contents of his own mind to be rational.

You're getting a little goofy with this. Not that I'm fully on board with the Freudian idea of the subconscious's dominance over the psyche, but the fact remains that the vast majority of your what your brain is up to is not under your control and not a matter of volition. You can't reason with a tic, or a deeply conditioned response, or a chemical imbalance. Some people believe in hypnosis, it's true (talking yourself out of neurosis - using reason) but even those believers know that it only goes so far. Unless you're insinuating that there *aren't* rational people, but it didn't seem like it. :p There are large chunks of our own minds that we have limited control over, and more than a few that we have no control over.

A rational agent cannot receive new information aboutthe contents of his own mind. He must already know the contents of his own mind to be rational.

By that definition, no one is rational.

And I'm not sure what you meant in your first post, surely if someone is rational they would be identifying and solving problems for themselves and not seeing a therapist, and such your whole point is moot.

Therapy isn't a "works or doesn't work" sort of thing. How it "works" depends on the problem, depends on the therapy. Sometimes a patient may have subconcious problems and not know the root of them leaving them unresolved, and a trained therapist can help tease out the reasons. Sometimes it may be due to repressed emotions or fears and a therapist can help bring them to light. Sometimes the patient doesn't have anyone to talk to, and lacking the means to discuss it with someone, hasn't really discussed it openly. Someone someone can be depressed and lack the energy and motivation to come up with a plan to accomplish things in his life and a therapist can help with that and help keep him on track. Sometimes all the problems can be a chemical imbalance, and not fixable by anything other than correcting the chemical imablance through medication

Therapy isn't as simple as "do X to fix it". HOW you fix it depends on WHAT it is.Yes. Asking how therapy works is like asking how medicine works.

For the same reason you can't rehabilitate rational criminals, therapy can't work on a rational agent.

Yes! That's exactly what I th- Now wait a sec... WTF¿