NationStates Jolt Archive

We've had zombie scenarios, ruler of some tropical island scenarios, but not one of these I imagine.

Let's say god needs a vacation, or if that isn't your flavor, some hyper evolved aliens out for some kicks. In whatever case, you have been selected to be god for a day. That means exactly what it says. For 24 hours, you will have phenomenal cosmic powers with an itty bitty restriction.

No revealing yourself. No showing up on everyone's TV like a commercial and going "I'm god! bwahahaha!" or writing words spelling out your divinity on the moon with cheetos or anything like that.

And just for you LG, no magically appearing rain of tacos for you, because we know you'd do that, and that's too predictably boring.

But anything else goes. For the next 24 hours, the Earth (technically the cosmos, but we'll limit it to Earth), is your playground.

What do you do?

EDIT: No freeze time either you cheeky nutters.

I don't think I'd like to be non-existent for a day - that's what death is for.

Re establish British Empire.

Rain of bullets on USA

Make sure Global warming doesn't happen.

Lower sea levels.

Make it rain soap on France.

Move Britain further from Europe.

Lower global temperatures by a few degrees.

Repair channel tunnel.

Establish Bumper crops world wide.

Remake myself.

Find my perfect girl.

Freeze time.

I'd sit around all day watching T.V and maybe having some friends over

then I'd go to bed early so I can wake up extra refreshed the next day and bake some cake :)

Move Britain further from Europe.

I'd dare say the rain will follow

I would unmake and destroy all things, including all dieties, because mankind is too violent and wasteful to deserve the precious gift of existence, and because all other things beyond mankind allowed us to exist, they shall be destroyed too, guilt by association. No discorporation, no afterlife, the absolute cessation of all things, and after all other things were destroyed, I would destroy myself.

But if I'm in a particularly good mood, I would sow the seeds for Mankind's complete evolution, so that we could all exist on a new level, where we didn't need food, were not limited to earth, and had no instinctive need for religon. Other benifits would include appearing however we wanted to, because we would lose something as old fashioned as bodies, and everyone would have God-like powers for the rest of eternity, because even death would become a thing of the past.

Freeze time.

Curse your loophole exploiting ways. *shakes fist*

Curse your loophole exploiting ways. *shakes fist*

Well once time is frozen it's trivial, if tedious, to solve all the problems of the world. Like Bruce said in Bruce Almighty God can solve all problems in five minutes if he wanted.

Make myself the God Emperor of Mankind.

Kill all of the rappers except for the ones who piss off Bill O'Reilly for the lulz

Create 3 other people to be in the most epic metal band ever

Posess Rupert Murdoch and say that Faux News is a total joke done for the lulz

Purge Scientology from Clearwater, and then make Clearwater the most holy city on the Earth.

Make Saggitarya real and establish myself as the permanent dictator (my empire will be all of Florida and the US Virgin Islands cause they're badass and voted for Obama over Hillary by 90%). I would appoint Mike Gravel to be the second highest head of state.

Give myself the best cell phone ever, that can record shows with perfect audio quality.

Make my beagle Lucky much bigger than he is

Rain down burning sulfur on Westboro Baptist Church, and throw all of it's members into the ocean to be eaten by sharks

Show off to a large crowd of people by playing Through the Fire and the Flames on Guitar Hero on expert blindfolded with my guitar behind my head.

Create the perfect girl who shares all of my sick fetishes

Legalize all drugs, except for meth because meth is for dirty conservatives

Gather people to film the horror movie I always wanted to create

Make a high definition first person school shooter game for the Wii.

Execute Bush, Cheney, Rove, and Rice.

Give the White House to homeless people

Total animal liberation. I'm God so I can create meat for everyone without cruelty.

Ban Panic at the Shitsco from ever touring again

Permanently ban cars from Clearwater so everyone can skate

Force every rich CEO in America to go cook sexy vegan food for poor people

Free America from the chains of the Federal Reserve

Replay 9/11 to everyone to expose the truth

Relocate 5 billion people to another planet so Earth is less crowded.

????

PROFIT!

I might be killing this here but here's a thought. :P

No matter what you do be it good or bad, selfish or not, wouldn't God just undo it at the end of the day because it wouldn't be apart of his plan? (For example and a little out there but you get the idea) Like if you decided to cure a sick grandmother but by her living 4 more years, you didn't go to school as soon as you would have to be with her and because you didn't go that far, you got a bachelor instead of a masters in psychology and this one time at a bar you were just shy of being able to help a guy away from suicide who would have went on to have a kid who would have had a kid who would have had a kid that would have made peace with the aliens who knew the cure to cancer.

In short: No matter what your intent, be it good or bad, everything has rammification that go in infinitly. In the end, you could do so much damage to God's grand plan that he would have to undo it.

So what do you do then? Simple! Be selfish for a day. I'd make it so I never got full and eating was as good as having not eaten in days. I'd have sex for 5 hours with my wife and she would call me god for the day. I'd explore the universe and see all the other things and people where and if they exist. I'd be Vegeta too for a bit. Wraaaaawwwwwwwrrrrrrrr. *Hair*

I'd boff Jessica Alba.

Then find some way to mind-meld with Eric Clapton, so I'd suck less at guitar.

Then destroy the music industry, and make sure that executives knew something about music rather than be accountants.

Oh yeah, I'd give Auburn a better basketball team so they could be one of the SEC schools that's great at football AND basketball, so I could have two seasons worth of obsessing.

of course I'd also turn the desert to farm land.

Then big up Pluto so they have reclassify it (tee-hee)

And Make Mars habitable by putting it at the far side of Earth's orbit and giving it an atmosphere (and porn)

Porn is very important when creating a habitable environment. *nods*

Except those caused by free will

We've had zombie scenarios, ruler of some tropical island scenarios, but not one of these I imagine.

Let's say god needs a vacation, or if that isn't your flavor, some hyper evolved aliens out for some kicks. In whatever case, you have been selected to be god for a day. That means exactly what it says. For 24 hours, you will have phenomenal cosmic powers with an itty bitty restriction.

No revealing yourself. No showing up on everyone's TV like a commercial and going "I'm god! bwahahaha!" or writing words spelling out your divinity on the moon with cheetos or anything like that.

And just for you LG, no magically appearing rain of tacos for you, because we know you'd do that, and that's too predictably boring.

But anything else goes. For the next 24 hours, the Earth (technically the cosmos, but we'll limit it to Earth), is your playground.

What do you do?
hmmm... no revealing yourself...

ok.

I will make the Angels visible as they go about doing My work for that 24 hours.

I will cure all the ailments of all my True Faithful.

All my Faithful in hazardous positions would be granted divine protection (they won't even get a cut)

I would re-fill all artesian wells with fresh water.

Those leading others on the path of the false ways, being false prophets, would be smited in such a way as to leave no doubt who did the smiting. (that would be fun. I would certainly like to see how scientists and forensic experts explain how a Blue Whale landed on the Phelps family while it was in Colorado.)

Grant animals the ability to speak the native human tongue for 24 hours.

Repopulate endangered spiecies in such a way as to leave scientists baffled.

create a new species of animal, one that would leave evolutionists stumped as to where they came from. (perhaps a European-style Dragon... four limbs and wings. and make them intelligent as well as omnivorus.)

Make myself the God Emperor of Mankind.

Except that after 24 hours, you go back to Joe Average.

of course I'd also turn the desert to farm land.

Then big up Pluto so they have reclassify it (tee-hee)

And Make Mars habitable by putting it at the far side of Earth's orbit and giving it an atmosphere (and porn)

Oh yeah, I'd give Auburn a better basketball team so they could be one of the SEC schools that's great at football AND basketball, so I could have two seasons worth of obsessing.[/QUOTE]

;)GO AUBURN:D

Except that after 24 hours, you go back to Joe Average.I still have a loophole.

I give myself those powers permantely, by creating an alternate universe where I am god and then I will write the laws of that universe then and destroy all those who try to them away from me.

Oh yeah, I'd give Auburn a better basketball team so they could be one of the SEC schools that's great at football AND basketball, so I could have two seasons worth of obsessing.[INDENT]

;)GO AUBURN:D[INDENT]

Kill all of the rappers except for the ones who piss off Bill O'Reilly for the lulz

Create 3 other people to be in the most epic metal band ever

Posess Rupert Murdoch and say that Faux News is a total joke done for the lulz

Purge Scientology from Clearwater, and then make Clearwater the most holy city on the Earth.

Make Saggitarya real and establish myself as the permanent dictator (my empire will be all of Florida and the US Virgin Islands cause they're badass and voted for Obama over Hillary by 90%). I would appoint Mike Gravel to be the second highest head of state.

Give myself the best cell phone ever, that can record shows with perfect audio quality.

Make my beagle Lucky much bigger than he is

Rain down burning sulfur on Westboro Baptist Church, and throw all of it's members into the ocean to be eaten by sharks

Show off to a large crowd of people by playing Through the Fire and the Flames on Guitar Hero on expert blindfolded with my guitar behind my head.

Create the perfect girl who shares all of my sick fetishes

Legalize all drugs, except for meth because meth is for dirty conservatives

Gather people to film the horror movie I always wanted to create

Make a high definition first person school shooter game for the Wii.

Execute Bush, Cheney, Rove, and Rice.

Give the White House to homeless people

Total animal liberation. I'm God so I can create meat for everyone without cruelty.

Ban Panic at the Shitsco from ever touring again

Permanently ban cars from Clearwater so everyone can skate

Force every rich CEO in America to go cook sexy vegan food for poor people

Free America from the chains of the Federal Reserve

Replay 9/11 to everyone to expose the truth

Relocate 5 billion people to another planet so Earth is less crowded.

????

PROFIT!

I think you're confusing being an omnipotent being and being president. And don't forget, it only lasts for 24 hours. Any non self-perpetuating event (angels, dancing hippos, rain of tacos), stops after that time limit.

I'd go back in time, and kill off Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin. I'd kill off all evidence and scientists involved in creating the nuclear bomb.
I'd destroy all tenement housing, and all mansions would be destroyed.
Then i'd create the fountain of youth, in Tibet.
Then i'd kill off every Dictator alive today, nick their money and hand it over to UNICEF and Oxfam.
Then i'd leave a permanent shape in the tectonic plates which says, "George Bush Was an Idiot".

I would unmake and destroy all things, including all dieties, because mankind is too violent and wasteful to deserve the precious gift of existence, and because all other things beyond mankind allowed us to exist, they shall be destroyed too, guilt by association. No discorporation, no afterlife, the absolute cessation of all things, and after all other things were destroyed, I would destroy myself.

I once dated a girl for an extended period of time who was quite as f***ed as you. I overlooked it because she was beautiful and kind when not thinking about how to eliminate humanity, but you I can rail against.

I can not stand people who can find no value in humanity. We are the orderers and meaning givers of our portion of the Universe. By that I mean that we create order from chaos on our little planet (quite literally, we take disparate chaotic elements and make them into more complex/ordered systems) and at the same time through the nature of consciousness we are constantly applying meaning to everything, and what's existence without meaning... it's meaningless.

You went further and suggested that you would destroy all existence for the wrongs of humanity, specifically that they didn't stop humanity. That's probably the most arrogant thing I've heard in a long time. Destroying all existence beacuse the other sentient being in it didn't take the time to care about on little planet that has a war every so often would be like me destroying the earth because I saw two ants fighting.

Anyway, if I was omnipotent for a day, I'd change Warhaven's mind using my ultimate power. And cake... I'd summon the most delicious cake ever created, and eat it.

Re establish British Empire.

Rain of bullets on USA

Make sure Global warming doesn't happen.

Lower sea levels.

Make it rain soap on France.

Move Britain further from Europe.

Lower global temperatures by a few degrees.

Repair channel tunnel.

Establish Bumper crops world wide.

Remake myself.

Find my perfect girl.

Hey it's a Rabist nationalist! All those people who say nationalism is bad conveniently ignore it when it isn't coming from Americans.

Oh yes, just for LG, since he himself cannot do it, I would make it rain Tacos and nothing but tacos for an entire day, with the epicenter of the storm being right wherever he was at. There would be no thunder or lightning, just immensely huge pies of all kinds that he could direct and control with his mind.

Yeah, I would end the time warp on Jolt.

I think you're confusing being an omnipotent being and being president. And don't forget, it only lasts for 24 hours. Any non self-perpetuating event (angels, dancing hippos, rain of tacos), stops after that time limit.


So my perfect girl who shares all my sick fettishes goes away? :(

I don't think I'd like to be non-existent for a day - that's what death is for.

Wow, way to be so arrogantly anti-religion you cant even have fun with this topic.


Well, first I would create untold wealth for myself so that it would last after I was no longer God. Then Id give myself all the knowledge Id need for my PhD so I didnt have to take anymore classes;)


Then Id end wars, starvation, poverty, and homelessness. And right wing thought.

I'd switch minds/bodies between everyone randomly and then switch back just before the 24 hour period is up. And give them enough knowledge about whoever they where switched into to not get lost (how to speak the language, where they live, etc). That should stir things up a bit, imagine suddenly being a middle aged female teacher in northern India or something.

Other ideas:

Turn a significant portion of the atmosphere into helium.

Turn chlorophyll fluorescent pink.

Replace all military uniforms with various mascot costumes.

Replace all weapons with fruit flavored slime shooting goo guns.:gundge:

Make multi-flavored snow fall everywhere.

Turn all humans into ewoks.

Give all animals magical powers, flying pigs and all that.

Give all food the ability to have a conversation with the person who is eating it.

...maybe it would be best if I just stay in bed that day.

Provide for the precise conditions that would permit for an inundation of the Sahara, perhaps a tectonic shift permitting vast quantities of water to enter that dry, dry region. Secretly break bits and pieces of every nuclear weapon on the planet in a fashion that would not be easily detected. Save the world from the hops crisis.

And fix the Jolt servers, once and for all.

Wow, way to be so arrogantly anti-religion

You ain't seen nothin' yet, kiddo.

Hey it's a Rabist nationalist!

"Rabist" doesn't seem to be a word in the English language.

All those people who say nationalism is bad conveniently ignore it when it isn't coming from Americans.

You mock martyrdom so poorly it becomes a mockery of mock martyrdom and a persecution complex.

You ain't seen nothin' yet, kiddo.


Meh, Im not religious or believing either, but I can still have fun with the idea of me being God.



Muwhahahahaha.

I'd redefine "24 hours" to mean "forever".

"Rabist" doesn't seem to be a word in the English language.



You apparently have nothing better to do than bring up my misspelling. :rolleyes:


(I know you have an Anti-American bias) It's ok, let your hate out.

I once dated a girl for an extended period of time who was quite as f***ed as you. I overlooked it because she was beautiful and kind when not thinking about how to eliminate humanity, but you I can rail against.

I can not stand people who can find no value in humanity. We are the orderers and meaning givers of our portion of the Universe. By that I mean that we create order from chaos on our little planet (quite literally, we take disparate chaotic elements and make them into more complex/ordered systems) and at the same time through the nature of consciousness we are constantly applying meaning to everything, and what's existence without meaning... it's meaningless.

You went further and suggested that you would destroy all existence for the wrongs of humanity, specifically that they didn't stop humanity. That's probably the most arrogant thing I've heard in a long time. Destroying all existence beacuse the other sentient being in it didn't take the time to care about on little planet that has a war every so often would be like me destroying the earth because I saw two ants fighting.

Anyway, if I was omnipotent for a day, I'd change Warhaven's mind using my ultimate power. And cake... I'd summon the most delicious cake ever created, and eat it.

Clearly you have never read my posts on II, or you would've realised under what personality I was posting as. But hey, if I can RP as such a dark individual and stir up such a strong emotional response from someone, then I must be a better writer than I thought. Thanks for boosting my confidence.

We've had zombie scenarios, ruler of some tropical island scenarios, but not one of these I imagine.

Let's say god needs a vacation, or if that isn't your flavor, some hyper evolved aliens out for some kicks. In whatever case, you have been selected to be god for a day. That means exactly what it says. For 24 hours, you will have phenomenal cosmic powers with an itty bitty restriction.

No revealing yourself. No showing up on everyone's TV like a commercial and going "I'm god! bwahahaha!" or writing words spelling out your divinity on the moon with cheetos or anything like that.

And just for you LG, no magically appearing rain of tacos for you, because we know you'd do that, and that's too predictably boring.

But anything else goes. For the next 24 hours, the Earth (technically the cosmos, but we'll limit it to Earth), is your playground.

What do you do?

EDIT: No freeze time either you cheeky nutters.
I'd unleash a plague of zombies upon the world and then create a tropical island for me to rule.

kill god so I don't have to give back my cosmic powers

kill god so I don't have to give back my cosmic powers

That....is actually a smart (evil) idea.

I know you have an Anti-American bias

Canada is nice. :)

Err probably go to the pub and get some blonde beers in with my mates. Good times, really. Also, free peanuts and the smoking ban would be relaxed.

Since this only lasts for a day, finding the perfect woman would be a bit sad, and swapping Belgium for something more interesting would be kind of pointless.

kill god so I don't have to give back my cosmic powers

:eek: Nietzsche has come back from the dead and is posting on NS!

(I know you have an Anti-American bias)

so whats the definition on Anti-American? beyond your new craze that only makes you look foolish that is?

so whats the definition on Anti-American? beyond your new craze that only makes you look foolish that is?
Why do you hate freedom? :(

Smite some random bloke with a giant fist from the sky. :)

Or do the goatse cloud thingie all over the world just for lulz.

http://www.snopes.com/photos/natural/graphics/godhands.jpg

Or do the goatse cloud thingie all over the world just for lulz.
Goatse is so last year. 2Girls1Cup - now that's where the horror lies.

Goatse is so last year. 2Girls1Cup - now that's where the horror lies.

or 2Girls1Finger

Goatse is so last year. 2Girls1Cup - now that's where the horror lies.

Aw man, i even had to wiki that, even reading about it is evil.
By the way i'd also force all films to be funded by pancake industries.
I would create a big surge of oil in my garden, then make lots of money from taxing the oil industries.
and i'd get rid of nuclear weapon's and replace them with duds, so when the time comes, nothing happens.:)

Or do the goatse cloud thingie all over the world just for lulz.

http://i28.tinypic.com/1o21vp.png

Stealing bandwidth is bad, okay?

Aw man, i even had to wiki that, even reading about it is evil.
Yeah, it's pretty damned horrible.

I'd raze Britain and make myself superhot, superathletic, and superintelligent.

I would cancel and fix global warming, clean up pollution, and restore several endangered species, primarily the wolf. I would make all Indians and all Americans healthy and prosperous and install competent and stable governments.

unleash armagedon on humanity

Canada is nice. :)

The country is nice, the people are snobs.

:eek: Nietzsche has come back from the dead and is posting on NS!



so whats the definition on Anti-American? beyond your new craze that only makes you look foolish that is?

Mainly only mentioning America in a bad light, whats your definition?

The country is nice, the people are snobs.

Have you been there? I have been to several places in Canada, and have encountered no more snobs in Canada than I have in America.

Have you been there? I have been to several places in Canada, and have encountered no more snobs in Canada than I have in America.

Yes, I have been there, aka my statement. I have encountered more jerks in America than Canada, but way more snobs up north.

1. I would rain tacos on LG.

2. I would change the rules so that I would be God forever.

3. I would start the whole business all over again.

4. Eve would not be blamed for all the ills of mankind.

5. I would not leave the Universe hanging in the wind while I took dares from the Devil (see the book of Job).

6. I would not behave like a spoiled 10-year-old who isn't getting his/her own way. If I demand that the human race take responsibility for it's collective actions, I would concede that, as God, I, too am responsible for my actions (or lack thereof). There will be none of this "you don't have faith in me, so it's all your fault" bullshit.

The country is nice, the people are snobs.

Everyone's a snob compared to you.

The country is nice, the people are snobs.


The irony is dripping.

[QUOTE=Non Aligned States;13475887]No revealing yourself. No showing up on everyone's TV like a commercial and going "I'm god! bwahahaha!" or writing words spelling out your divinity on the moon with cheetos or anything like that.

And just for you LG, no magically appearing rain of tacos for you, because we know you'd do that, and that's too predictably boring.QUOTE]

Subtlety, eh? I can be subtle. When it suits my needs.

Hmm....

I would probably introduce the cure for HIV into the mind of several appropriate scientists. Something simple and wacky like pumpkin fucking.

Pumpkin Fucking Cures AIDS. I like it. :)

Next, I would arrange several highly public and humiliating catastrophes to befall certain people. People like Fred Phelps, The Pope and Senator Bill Frist. Probably something involving overly amorous gorillas. :)

For my encore, I would invent and seed into fertile minds the plans for a device that can induce orgasms in people at range. An O-ray. :)

So my perfect girl who shares all my sick fettishes goes away? :(

Only if said girl required reality altering components or bending physical laws to continue existing.

I'd unleash a plague of zombies upon the world and then create a tropical island for me to rule.

Maybe, but since zombies fall into the non-perpetuating category and require plot devices to keep running, they all fall apart after 24 hours.

Let's see...

Give Auburn a better basketball team

Find a camel

Umm...give myself a better imagination.

I would destroy all human life, then re-introduce, and repopulate all the species that mankind destroyed. I would then re-introduce mankind, and limit their breeding potential to a maximum of 1 billion world wide. Then instill a reverence for the earth like the American Indians have.

The irony is dripping.

If you can make value judgments, so can I. And yes, the irony is dripping coming from you.

Aw man, i even had to wiki that, even reading about it is evil.
That's nothing. After wiking it I had to watch the reaction videos on Youtube, those reactions where great fun. After seeing the reactions I was thinking "Those people are stupid, they watch it and film their own reactions after seeing others' reactions to it. Why would they watch it when they already know they will regret it." then the thought hit me "It can't be that bad... really, it can't... wonder if it really could be that bad... naah..." so I type in the finger url and...



...what really stopped me in the last second from being scarred was that they require info about drivers licence, bank account, credit card and stuff to let you see it and I would never ever give up my info to some random website.

Click Stand;13477075']Give Auburn a better basketball team

Way to steal my idea. :P

At least our ladies are 18-8... Men are 13-11. Women also beat Bama, which the mens team can't say.

I don't watch much AU basketball, though. I'm kinda wrapped up in my own school's team. (In pep band, and we're going to our conference tournament week after next. Woo hoo!)