NationStates Jolt Archive

LG has plenty of tacos.

And the cops will regret bringing him in.

His wife is a cop, and I suspect she regularly does bring him in. :p

EDIT: Threadjack! Today a thread! Tomorrow, all NSG!

http://www.dailybulletin.com/breakingnews/ci_8295739

Fontana police seeking taco bandit
Article Created: 02/18/2008 08:52:18 AM PST


FONTANA - An armed robber who sneaked up on a bicyclist Sunday night didn't want the man's money, wallet or anything else of great value. He wanted his tacos.

The victim, a 35-year-old Fontana man, had just bought about $20 in tacos from a stand at the corner of San Bernardino and Fontana avenues and was riding home when the bandit confronted him.

"He approached him from behind saying, 'Give me your tacos,'" said Fontana police Sgt. Jeff Decker. "He grabbed the bag of tacos, punched him in the face and began to flee."

Police said the robbery occurred at 9:15 p.m. Hawthorne Avenue east of Catawba Avenue. The victim demanded his bag of tacos back after the bandit grabbed it.

"The suspect then pointed what appeared to be a black handgun at the victim," Decker said.

The taco bandit, standing about five feet away from the victim, threatened to kill him, and then ran.

The suspect is described as a 25- to 30-year-old white man, 5-feet-10 inches tall and 190 pounds. He has brown hair and eyes and wore a black hooded sweatshirt.

Decker said it's not uncommon for food robberies to occur when the victim is a pizza delivery person, but he considered this crime to be odd.

"Doing an armed robbery for tacos, that's a little out there," he said.

I think NSG could provide the police with a good lead.

http://www.dailybulletin.com/breakingnews/ci_8295739



I think NSG could provide the police with a good lead.

Dammit LG, I knew we should've taken him for rehab over his taco obsession.

LG has plenty of tacos.

And the cops will regret bringing him in.

It was his own fault for not sharing his taco wealth.

LG would be more far more specfic with his threats, and you would have to change the punch to a pie in the face.

Hah. I used to work over in that area. Small world. :p

The cops just need to follow the trail of pie crusts and taco shells.

LG has plenty of tacos.

And the cops will regret bringing him in.

Mirkana, your sig is WAY over 8 lines. Shorten it, please.

Mirkana, your sig is WAY over 8 lines. Shorten it, please.

Sig shortened.

LG has truly gone off the deep end! :eek:

$20 worth of Tacos?!

can one man take that much low grade meat?

No way that's LG. No pies mentioned in the story and unreasonable and unfunny violence used in the commission of a crime (even if it is stealing tacos).

Why would you buy $20 of tacos? That's a lot of tacos, right?

Why would you buy $20 of tacos? That's a lot of tacos, right?

Either that or he lives in an area where tacos cost a fortune.

Either that or he lives in an area where tacos cost a fortune.

They'll tax anything, these days. *shakes head*

Normally, no - But what if his family was starving? LG could be the Jean Valjean of tacos!

I figure if LG were to ever post about his dire circumstances, NSG would produce would a 6 figure dollar donation just to keep his brand of insanity going.

No way that's LG...

Normally, no - But what if his family was starving? LG could be the Jean Valjean of tacos!

I think NSG could provide the police with a good lead.

Nah. Too much clothes, too much violence, and not nearly enough fun.

Nah. Too much clothes, too much violence, and not nearly enough fun.The violence bit is not true. However, LG would have kicked him in the groin, not punched him in the face.

The violence bit is not true. However, LG would have kicked him in the groin, not punched him in the face.

I believe that with LG, groin-kicking is not exercised as a kind of violence, but as an, shall we say, enforced pleasure experience.

This clearly wasn't LG. That description doesn't sound like a clown to me.

This clearly wasn't LG. That description doesn't sound like a clown to me.

I'm not so sure, there's cases of victims giving false descriptions when it calls their manhood into question - saying the mugger was taller and/or bigger than they actually were, for example.

So, if mugged by a clown, the shock may mean you automatically go to the police to report it but on being asked to give a description, well you might not stick with the truth because it just sounds silly.

If nothing else, the evil genius in relying on the psychology of the victim might very well be LG standard operating procedure.

UPDATED

FBI Profiles taco bandit

FONTANA - An FBI profiler is now assisting local police in capturing an armed robber who only steals Mexican food.

"The Feds are really helping us a lot on this one'" said Fontana police Sgt. Jeff Decker. "These weren't chicken sandwiches, they were steak fajitas. That's a federal beef."

"The suspect is highly organized, but we're going to catch this clown" Decker said.

The taco bandit, is described as a 25 to 30-year-old white man, 5-feet-10 inches tall and 190 pounds. He has brown hair and eyes and seemed to be quite muddy.

$20 worth of tacos are either a lot of tacos, or really expensive gourmet tacos.

My wife will get a kick out of this. She'll have to search me for contraband. I may not post again for a little while. :)

:D$20 worth of tacos are either a lot of tacos, or really expensive gourmet tacos.

My wife will get a kick out of this. She'll have to search me for contraband. I may not post again for a little while. :)

: :D

Strange man.
But a bit extreme for tacos. (by the way what do they look like?)

http://www.dailybulletin.com/breakingnews/ci_8295739



I think NSG could provide the police with a good lead.

This made my day :D

UPDATED

And this :)

$20 worth of tacos are either a lot of tacos, or really expensive gourmet tacos.

My wife will get a kick out of this. She'll have to search me for contraband. I may not post again for a little while. :)

And this :)

Either that or he lives in an area where tacos cost a fortune. obviously... since tacos are noteworthy of being stolen.

$20 worth of tacos are either a lot of tacos, or really expensive gourmet tacos.

My wife will get a kick out of this. She'll have to search me for contraband. I may not post again for a little while. :)

Don't worry LG, your guilt or innocence will be proven in the end.
or should that be in your end...
:D

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/taco_thief;_ylt=AiiaIaxrwtGfF5gH87xattQE1vAI

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/taco_thief;_ylt=AiiaIaxrwtGfF5gH87xattQE1vAI

In before the "If that man had used his constitutional rights and had been armed, he could have shot the taco-thief and kept the tacos!!!1!"-crowd...

But only just, I fear.

I hope the thief got a taco bell salmonella special.

Yet another young person embarks upon a life of crime because of marijuana.
What? You don't believe me? Well, if you can think of any possible reason for someone to steal $20 worth of tacos that doesn't involve the munchies, I'd like to hear it.

It's been posted already.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/taco_thief;_ylt=AiiaIaxrwtGfF5gH87xattQE1vAI

*munches on a taco*

Want a taco? *hands you a taco*

He never would have got my tacos. Here's why:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bksiiivwTLA

Clown Fu FTW! :D

An evil twin, maybe?

An evil twin, maybe?Actually, what would be the polar opposite of LG. Zero maybe?

Actually, what would be the polar opposite of LG. Zero maybe?

Me. The anti-LG. :p

Actually, what would be the polar opposite of LG. Zero maybe?

The opposite of Lunatic Goofball would be:

Sane Stuffysquare
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/e9/JohnPierpontMorgan.jpg

The opposite of Lunatic Goofball would be:

Sane Stuffysquare
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/e9/JohnPierpontMorgan.jpg

Me. The anti-LG. :p

:D

:D

*brandishes soap launcher*

Me. The anti-LG. :pLet see if you can stand up to a trail by fire, literally.

*Sets ONS onto a prye and then burns him to death.*

I guess he was lying.

Free pie for all now in honor of the one true Lunyiness!

*Free pie to all.*

Let see if you can stand up to a trail by fire, literally.

So Lunatic Goofballs is an arctic climate clown?


*Sets ONS onto a prye and then burns him to death.*


What does the Oncology Nursing Society have to do with this?

He never would have got my tacos. Here's why:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bksiiivwTLA

Clown Fu FTW! :D

fuck me! that shit was awesome, how do you find all that stuff ?

fuck me! that shit was awesome, how do you find all that stuff ?

He's LG, it's what he does.

Now that he has all those tacos he'd better open wide (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qff098NCNDE) to hide the evidence :p ;)

Hehe i'm not falling for that Goatse link again :p
BushLogic? :confused:

Now that he has all those tacos he'd better open wide (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i__XhXf9rPI) to hide the evidence :p ;)

He's LG, it's what he does.

but still, he blows my mind a way everytime, that has to be the best youtube vid yet

fuck me! that shit was awesome, how do you find all that stuff ?

It calls to me. *nod*

*prefers burritos*

Burritos are delightful and deserving of full honors. But I had to make a choice and I chose tacos. That in no way should be a condemnation of their burrito cousins. *nod*

Tacos are mes--nevermind... >.>

:D

*prefers burritos*

Burritos are delightful and deserving of full honors. But I had to make a choice and I chose tacos. That in no way should be a condemnation of their burrito cousins. *nod*

Tacos are mes--nevermind... >.>

*munches on a taco*

Want a taco? *hands you a taco*

Thanks very much. My silence comes cheap indeed.

*burp*

It calls to me. *nod*

its still impressive

fuck me! that shit was awesome, how do you find all that stuff ?He is LG, that is why.

He is LG, that is why.

I'm still looking for a context for my latest treasure:

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoID=626752759

I'm still looking for a context for my latest treasure:

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoID=626752759

:p
Make you wonder about some women eh? or some guys imagination at least.

I find there is tragic absurdity in this. A taco theft is hilarious in its surrealism, but the man who perpetrated it likely lives under some dire situation to have to steal food, and the victim was physically assaulted.

At least nobody was shot.