NationStates Jolt Archive

You may or may not remember a former thread of mine that asked how to be a great orator. Well, politicians have taught me that it is best to reword someone else's words in order to get ahead.

So, in this thread, I'll post an excerpt from a speech made by someone and you'll reword it to convey the same idea, except with more spark.

Speech excerpt numero uno:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1KGwQ1O88Y&feature=related


My rewording: "The Iraqis ask: The United States had George Washington. Where's our Washington? India had Gandhi. Where's our Gandhi? South America had Bolivar. Where's our Bolivar? Well let it be written in the history books of our children, and their children, that this Adminstration will be a Gandhi for the Iraqis, a Washington for their government, and a Bolivar for their independence"



I guess I miss school so much that I'm doing an English exercise...

the iraqis ask "where is our cookie?" and "where are our keebler elves?"

saddam hussein ate all the cookies. there are none left for the iraqi people.

saddam hussein killed all the elves. the iraqis look in every hollow tree but they are all gone.

well good riddance to those damn elves and their pointy ears

but but but

THE COOKIES!

the iraqis ask "where is our cookie?" and "where are our keebler elves?"

saddam hussein ate all the cookies. there are none left for the iraqi people.

saddam hussein killed all the elves. the iraqis look in every hollow tree but they are all gone.

well good riddance to those damn elves and their pointy ears

My dear Iraqi people,

A democratic Iraq without leaders is like a foot without a big toe - and America is always gonna be there to be that big toe for you. I think that you owe a big round of applause to your newest, bestest buddy, and big toe... Uncle Sam.

the iraqis ask "where is our cookie?" and "where are our keebler elves?"

saddam hussein ate all the cookies. there are none left for the iraqi people.

saddam hussein killed all the elves. the iraqis look in every hollow tree but they are all gone.

...That's something I would expect from the BBS of NewGrounds.

Looks like NSG has changed from the 2005 science-politician populated board.

...That's something I would expect from the BBS of NewGrounds.

Looks like NSG has changed from the 2005 science-politician populated board.

pardon me?

arent cookies very important on nsg?

but but but

THE COOKIES!

Saddam shouldn't have eaten all the cookies, but I hate elves...they deserve to die and I hope they burn in hell!

You may or may not remember a former thread of mine that asked how to be a great orator. Well, politicians have taught me that it is best to reword someone else's words in order to get ahead.

So, in this thread, I'll post an excerpt from a speech made by someone and you'll reword it to convey the same idea, except with more spark.

Speech excerpt numero uno:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1KGwQ1O88Y&feature=related


My rewording: "The Iraqis ask: The United States had George Washington. Where's our Washington? India had Gandhi. Where's our Gandhi? South America had Bolivar. Where's our Bolivar? Well let it be written in the history books of our children, and their children, that this Adminstration will be a Gandhi for the Iraqis, a Washington for their government, and a Bolivar for their independence"



I guess I miss school so much that I'm doing an English exercise...

Uhm, i'll give my usual type of editorial:
http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Lobachevsky-lyrics-Tom-Lehrer/D97B21BF6516390448256A7D0024B8B9
For many years now, Mr. Danny Kaye, who has been my particular idol since childbirth, has been doing a routine about the great Russian director Stanislavsky and the secret of success in the acting profession. And I thought it would be interesting to stea... to adapt this idea to the field of mathematics. I always like to make explicit the fact that before I went off not too long ago to fight in the trenches, I was a mathematician by profession. I don't like people to get the idea that I have to do this for a living. I mean, it isn't as though I had to do this, you know, I could be making, oh, 3000 dollars a year just teaching.

Be that as it may, some of you may have had occasion to run into mathematicians and to wonder therefore how they got that way, and here, in partial explanation perhaps, is the story of the great Russian mathematician Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky.

Who made me the genius I am today,
The mathematician that others all quote,
Who's the professor that made me that way?
The greatest that ever got chalk on his coat.

One man deserves the credit,
One man deserves the blame,
And Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name.
Hi!
Nicolai Ivanovich Lobach-

I am never forget the day I first meet the great Lobachevsky.
In one word he told me secret of success in mathematics:
Plagiarize!

Plagiarize,
Let no one else's work evade your eyes,
Remember why the good Lord made your eyes,
So don't shade your eyes,
But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize -
Only be sure always to call it please 'research'.

And ever since I meet this man
My life is not the same,
And Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name.
Hi!
Nicolai Ivanovich Lobach-

I am never forget the day I am given first original paper
to write. It was on analytic and algebraic topology of
locally Euclidean parameterization of infinitely differentiable
Riemannian manifold.
Bozhe moi!
This I know from nothing.
What-i'm going-to do.
But I think of great Lobachevsky and get idea - ahah!

I have a friend in Minsk,
Who has a friend in Pinsk,
Whose friend in Omsk
Has friend in Tomsk
With friend in Akmolinsk.
His friend in Alexandrovsk
Has friend in Petropavlovsk,
Whose friend somehow
Is solving now
The problem in Dnepropetrovsk.

And when his work is done -
Ha ha! - begins the fun.
From Dnepropetrovsk
To Petropavlovsk,
By way of Iliysk,
And Novorossiysk,
To Alexandrovsk to Akmolinsk
To Tomsk to Omsk
To Pinsk to Minsk
To me the news will run,
Yes, to me the news will run!

And then I write
By morning, night,
And afternoon,
And pretty soon
My name in Dnepropetrovsk is cursed,
When he finds out I publish first!

And who made me a big success
And brought me wealth and fame?
Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name.
Hi!
Nicolai Ivanovich Lobach -

I am never forget the day my first book is published.
Every chapter I stole from somewhere else.
Index I copy from old Vladivostok telephone directory.
This book was sensational!
Pravda - well, Pravda - Pravda said: (Russian double-talk)
It stinks.
But Izvestia! Izvestia said: (Russian double-talk)
It stinks.
Metro-Goldwyn-Moskva buys movie rights for six million rubles,
Changing title to 'The Eternal Triangle',
With Ingrid Bergman playing part of hypotenuse.

And who deserves the credit?
And who deserves the blame?
Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name.
Hi!
Odd, upon reflection, that all my time here has never actually resulted in me posting this before now.
:confused:

You may or may not remember a former thread of mine that asked how to be a great orator. Well, politicians have taught me that it is best to reword someone else's words in order to get ahead.

So, in this thread, I'll post an excerpt from a speech made by someone and you'll reword it to convey the same idea, except with more spark.

Speech excerpt numero uno:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1KGwQ1O88Y&feature=related


My rewording: "The Iraqis ask: The United States had George Washington. Where's our Washington? India had Gandhi. Where's our Gandhi? South America had Bolivar. Where's our Bolivar? Well let it be written in the history books of our children, and their children, that this Adminstration will be a Gandhi for the Iraqis, a Washington for their government, and a Bolivar for their independence"



I guess I miss school so much that I'm doing an English exercise...

Interesting, watching that video, it shows Bush at least has gained a slight ability to use English, however Bush ultimately fails about 10 seconds in as Nelson Mandela is alive. That is loaded with political speech, not saying much other than "i'll be a nice guy".

I guees the key is lots of money, and an the ability to manipulate other people's behaviour, by joking, charisma or paint evil pictures of people and say you're their saviour as in Bush's case.

My rewording: "The Iraqis ask: The Palestinians had Yassir Arafat. Where's our Arafat? Uganda had Idi Amin. Where's our Amin? South America had Pinochet. Where's our Pinochet? Well let it be written in the history books of our children, and their children, that this Adminstration will be an Idi Amin for the Iraqis, an Arafat for their bombings, and a Pinochet for their hopes of renewed dictatorship!"

My rewording: "The Iraqis ask: The Palestinians had Yassir Arafat. Where's our Arafat? Uganda had Idi Amin. Where's our Amin? South America had Pinochet. Where's our Pinochet? Well let it be written in the history books of our children, and their children, that this Adminstration will be an Idi Amin for the Iraqis, an Arafat for their bombings, and a Pinochet for their hopes of renewed dictatorship!"

OUCH!

The Iraqis ask: Dude, where's my car?