NationStates Jolt Archive

I don't read comics really but I watch the film a while back and that got me thinking. What if Spider-man was communist? What would the effects in the marvel universe be?

http://i226.photobucket.com/albums/dd212/fantasticvoyegr/lol_wut.gif

I don't read comics really but I watch the film a while back and that got me thinking. What if Spider-man was communist? What would the effects in the marvel universe be?
Your first mistake is to not read comic books.

Seriously, how can you even fathom what the effects would be even if we told you without the basic knowledge of said universe?

Then you watched the movie and your thoughts run along the lines of "What if Spider-Man was communist?!?

Shouldn't you be asking something about MJ instead?

Like, "Confucius says: A house with a rusty roof has a moist basement!" and try to figure out whether this applies to MJ as well...

Or, Mary Jane? Dude, did Herr Stanley Martin Lieber (aka Stan Lee) inhale before he came up with her name.

Now, those are questions to be asked instead of commie here, commie there. ;)

his suit be red and yellow and it be boring to read

In all seriousness, Communism would not be a practical philosophy for Spidey - too many people to protect them all equally.

Then he would be a bad guy because the communists are the bad guys or at least they used to be until that role was handed over to the Muslims, Muslims are the new communists. What if Spider man was Muslim?

I don't read comics really but I watch the film a while back and that got me thinking. What if Spider-man was communist? What would the effects in the marvel universe be?

What if Spider-Man was a pig?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=714-Ioa4XQw

What if we lived in a what-if world?

What if Spider-Man was a pig?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=714-Ioa4XQw

Ah, a question Marvel Comics asked quite some time ago:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spider-Ham

http://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f352/Mostskillz/spider-ham.jpg

Red & Yellow Spiderman?

http://static.flickr.com/35/116550846_fd19e87beb_m.jpg

Since comics usually are political statements hidden in them. I don't think Spider-Man pays attention to politics, I think he just helps people.

Though it'd be much easier to say Beast & Thor would be socialists.

If Spiderman was a communist in the Marvel Universe he'd be a classic Iron Man villain.

What if Spider-man was communist?
Then he wouldn't be working for J. Jonah Jameson anymore. I can imagine it now, Spidey calling Jonah a captalist pig.:p

I would kill for a commie Spider-man. Though I've never seen it, I've seen a communist Superman. He fights for Stalin, socialism and the Warsaw Pact :P Quite an interesting series.

What if Spider man was Muslim?

There is a Muslim X-woman, though, ain't it?

edit: time warp!

Then he wouldn't be working for J. Jonah Jameson anymore. I can imagine it now, Spidey calling Jonah a captalist pig.:p

Are we talking small hamlet type communist, Marxist communist, or Stalinist communist?

what if Barbie had a hand grenade?

She would finally give it to Ken where the sun doesn't shine?

Or more realistically, throw it at her market share competitors.

What if we lived in a what-if world?

what if Barbie had a hand grenade?

Are we talking small hamlet type communist, Marxist communist, or Stalinist communist?

How could those imaginary, trivial distinctions and pointless idiot nonsense possibly matter?

well Spider man 3 would of made more sense?

actually I can see Spider-man becoming a communist especially after he got fucked over so badly in Spider-man 2 (where he met that Eastern European girl who is such a better person than MJ but which he never notices because he's to wrapped up in his high school fantasy relationship)

what if Barbie had a hand grenade?

what if she was poor? would Ken still love her?!

What if Dr. Octupus was actually Dr. Squid?

what if Peter Parker was a sleazy porn photographer

what if Peter Parker was a sleazy porn photographer
I think I saw the hentai of that one.

what if Peter Parker was a sleazy porn photographer
If would give the sentence "Oh man, I'm all webbed-out!" a whole new meaning...

There is a Muslim X-woman, though, ain't it?

edit: time warp!


Yeah shes called Dust. Very cool

What if the Human Torch was gay?

he's a flamer

He *is* a communist. He wears red, helps everyone for free, one of his biggest enemies was a capitalist corporate tycoon (Osbourne), and the free press (Jameson) hates him.

If would give the sentence "Oh man, I'm all webbed-out!" a whole new meaning...

My spider senses are tingling
>.>
<.<

Spiderman=communist
communist=more spiders
more spiders=less flies
less flies=less fish
less fish=less seals
less seals=less whales
less whales=less sea life
less sea life=less land life
less land life=no more life
no more life=profit!

A better question would be, what if Spiderman was gay? (http://www.angelfire.com/tx5/dadyes/sp.html)

What if spiderman had a third nipple?

What if Silver Surfer had the personality of a real surfer?

We would be of no use to anyone, and everyone would get annoyed by the sufer talk.

What if Silver Surfer had the personality of a real surfer?

Click Stand;13456679']What if Spiderman didn't exist?

Spiderman doesn't exist.

What if Spiderman didn't exist?

I don't read comics really but I watch the film a while back and that got me thinking. What if Spider-man was communist? What would the effects in the marvel universe be?
then he could duke it out with the Communist Superman (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Superman:_Red_Son)

Soviet Spider would team up with the Sovet Super Soldiers (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soviet_Super-Soldiers).
what if Barbie had a hand grenade?

then she'ld be reclassified as an "action figure" and boys will be playing with her. :p

My spider senses are tingling
>.>
<.<

Spiderman=communist
communist=more spiders
more spiders=less flies
less flies=less fish
less fish=less seals
less seals=less whales
less whales=less sea life
less sea life=less land life
less land life=no more life
no more life=profit!
What does that have to do with Peter Parker working as a sleazy porn photographer, the comment to which I answered?!? :confused:

What does that have to do with Peter Parker working as a sleazy porn photographer, the comment to which I answered?!? :confused:

If you knew the answer to that, you could understand my thought patterns.

This in the past has proved deadly to most people i've met, with such symptoms as the "wtf expression", and "just because elephants are big doesn't mean they're a valid source of energy" and the "oh no not again".

So no idea, i think i made a funny comment, then went back to topic about communism, er then relating that to how it would wipe out life on the planet then ironically creating profit for the next lifeforms.
Er maybe.:confused:Now you got me confused.

He *is* a communist. He wears red, helps everyone for free, one of his biggest enemies was a capitalist corporate tycoon (Osbourne), and the free press (Jameson) hates him.

Winnar.

What does that have to do with Peter Parker working as a sleazy porn photographer, the comment to which I answered?!? :confused:
he got side tracked...

it was supposed to be... (changes in red)
My spider senses are tingling
>.>
<.<

Spiderman=communist
communist=more spiders
more spiders=less flies
less flies=more openings in pants.
more openings in pants=more sex
more sex=more jobs for porn Photographers
more jobs for porn Photographers=rich Peter Parker

I don't read comics really but I watch the film a while back and that got me thinking. What if Spider-man was communist? What would the effects in the marvel universe be?

...pretty much none?

Spiderman doesn't exist.

Then what are we talking about?

What if Communists were spider-men?

he got side tracked...

it was supposed to be... (changes in red)
:p
How dare you corrupt my analogy of Peter Parker and him destroying the world?

Click Stand;13456968']Then what are we talking about?

good question, what are we talking about?

In all seriousness, Communism would not be a practical philosophy for Spidey - too many people to protect them all equally.
Army of Spidermen?

his suit be red and yellow and it be boring to read

Yellow?

Yellow?

the spider armor Tony Stark made for him is Red and Yellow. someone posted an image of it in this thread.

What if Silver Surfer had the personality of a real surfer?

It would have been 75 minutes of pinning for Shalla Bal and how much humans suck and five minutes of him finally noticing things are trying to kill him and swatting them like flies...

(I actually am right now reading the first 18 issues of The Silver Surfer...awesome)

It would have been 75 minutes of pinning for Shalla Bal and how much humans suck and five minutes of him finally noticing things are trying to kill him and swatting them like flies...

(I actually am right now reading the first 18 issues of The Silver Surfer...awesome)

and depending on what earth region of surfer he's emulating... every other word would probably be 'dude', 'Radical', 'Awsome', 'Brah/Bro' and other lingo.

"Bummer, like that Galactus dude has totally grounded me on this, like, totally lame planet called Earth, even with my awsome Power Cosmic, I'm like totally bummed out here. Oh well, this place has some rad waves that I can like totally get into."

and depending on what earth region of surfer he's emulating... every other word would probably be 'dude', 'Radical', 'Awsome', 'Brah/Bro' and other lingo.

"Bummer, like that Galactus dude has totally grounded me on this, like, totally lame planet called Earth, even with my awsome Power Cosmic, I'm like totally bummed out here. Oh well, this place has some rad waves that I can like totally get into."

That probably would've resulted in a vastly superior movie..

If you knew the answer to that, you could understand my thought patterns.
Do I really want to understand your thought patterns or could that make my brain melt?
Er maybe.:confused:Now you got me confused.
I'm still no sure we're on the same side of confused there, though. ;)
(I actually am right now reading the first 18 issues of The Silver Surfer...awesome)
That is so... cool! :D

Do I really want to understand your thought patterns or could that make my brain melt?
Er, that's sort of unknown territory. Like Hillary Clinton, you need to know it's there but better off not to go there.

I'm still no sure we're on the same side of confused there, though. ;)
Ah yes i have learned of many sides of confusion, it has as many dimensions as Quantum physics.
That is so... cool! :D

totally radical dude.

That is so... cool! :D

Biggest surprise for me (but not hard core Marvel fans, probably), didn't know Mephisto had such a hard on for The Silver Surfer. I had always thought he was more wrapped up in my other kitchy Marvel favorite, Ghost Rider.

Makes me wonder, has there been a Ghost Rider/Silver Surfer team up against Mephisto? That would have been cool...

Wait, in the latest Fantastic four didn't the sun and the rest of the solar system (exlcuding earth) get absorbed by Galactus? How is the day saved now? Everyone in F4 universe should be freezing to death. :confused:

He *is* a communist.

Issue #1 of The Amazing Spider-Man disagrees with you.

and depending on what earth region of surfer he's emulating... every other word would probably be 'dude', 'Radical', 'Awsome', 'Brah/Bro' and other lingo.

"Bummer, like that Galactus dude has totally grounded me on this, like, totally lame planet called Earth, even with my awsome Power Cosmic, I'm like totally bummed out here. Oh well, this place has some rad waves that I can like totally get into."

http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/output/motivator60752.jpg

For lulz :D

It would have been 75 minutes of pinning for Shalla Bal and how much humans suck and five minutes of him finally noticing things are trying to kill him and swatting them like flies...

(I actually am right now reading the first 18 issues of The Silver Surfer...awesome)

So no change then? :p

So no change then? :p

I actually thought that after the whole torture thing that they had set it up that he would spend some time going, "Fuck you guys, you suck. I don't give a toss if Galactus eats you are not. You're a bunch of dicks," and then Sue would have to convince him that we aren't all bad. But instead he was like, 'Ah well, alls forgiven, let me get myself trapped on this shit hole because I have a thing for blonds.' And then the whole 'hemi-powered' Fantasticar...the most groan worthy moment in a movie I've seen in recent memory...

I actually thought that after the whole torture thing that they had set it up that he would spend some time going, "Fuck you guys, you suck. I don't give a toss if Galactus eats you are not. You're a bunch of dicks," and then Sue would have to convince him that we aren't all bad. But instead he was like, 'Ah well, alls forgiven, let me get myself trapped on this shit hole because I have a thing for blonds.' And then the whole 'hemi-powered' Fantasticar...the most groan worthy moment in a movie I've seen in recent memory...

I never read the earlier Silver Surfer issues, but I read it for a while around the 'Infinity Gauntlet' period. He always struck me as a cosmic whiner.

Capitalist propaganda seeking to censor the socialist message of glorious comrade Spidey!

:D

Issue #1 of The Amazing Spider-Man disagrees with you.

Capitalist propaganda seeking to censor the socialist message of glorious comrade Spidey!

What if Silver Surfer had the personality of a real surfer?
He'd probably sound like this guy when describing Galactus destroying the world.
http://www.glumbert.com/media/surferdude

what if spidey was an uncoordinated idiot?
http://www.glumbert.com/media/worstspidey

what if spidey was Italian?
http://www.glumbert.com/media/italianspiderman