NationStates Jolt Archive

How do you people feel about unwanted gifts? I recently got some gifts from out-of-state relatives that I don't really see all that much, gifts that I really don't like. The said gifts were shirts, and to honest I'm really against the idea of giving clothing as gifts but thats not the biggest grudge I have against them. They were from those stores that really jack up the price of their merchandise by simply by adding their brand name or logo to what would otherwise be a very inexpensive item, which really rubs me the wrong way. I'm not a walking billboard and I'm not rich enough to spend 2 to 3 times more then what an item is actually worth for the hell of it. I feel bad because I'm never going to really wear them and this isn't the first time they've sent me clothes like this, but I also feel a little offended, like they don't really know me (which to be honest, they probably don't know me very well any more). On one hand I'd prefer a gift card or money to something I'll never use, but on the other hand they spent time and effort getting my what they did and letting them know my opinion seems like an asshole thing to do.

What gifts do you peeps hate getting, and what do you do about getting them?

It's taken me years but I've finally trained most of my family and friends to NOT get me anything for any occasion. I abhor 'stuff'. Before they were thusly trained however, I generally donated the 'stuff' to the Goodwill or took it on trips with me to give away in Latin America. Except for the stuff that had to be plugged in...that would have just been stupid.

How do you people feel about unwanted gifts? I recently got some gifts from out-of-state relatives that I don't really see all that much, gifts that I really don't like. The said gifts were shirts, and to honest I'm really against the idea of giving clothing as gifts but thats not the biggest grudge I have against them. They were from those stores that really jack up the price of their merchandise by simply by adding their brand name or logo to what would otherwise be a very inexpensive item, which really rubs me the wrong way. I'm not a walking billboard and I'm not rich enough to spend 2 to 3 times more then what an item is actually worth for the hell of it. I feel bad because I'm never going to really wear them and this isn't the first time they've sent me clothes like this, but I also feel a little offended, like they don't really know me (which to be honest, they probably don't know me very well any more). On one hand I'd prefer a gift card or money to something I'll never use, but on the other hand they spent time and effort getting my what they did and letting them know my opinion seems like an asshole thing to do.

What gifts do you peeps hate getting, and what do you do about getting them?

Lie to them and tell them it doesn't fit, so you need the receipt so you can return/exchange it. Once you get the receipt, return it for the money and spend it on what you want.

I hate getting cards. They're so fucking useless and pointless, and they mean nothing. You just pick out something somebody else wrote, and pretend they're your own words.

Everyone who would give me a gift is well aware that I neither give nor receive gifts.

Decorative things make me feel stupid as I stand there with an expensive looking vase or whatever in my hands and try to figure out any practical use for it.

I've pretty well trained my extended family at this point not to get me clothes, since they inevitably give me things that don't fit and that I would really prefer not to wear even if they did.

The thing that's really unfortunate, though, is when my grandmother gives me books. She has the worst taste in reading material of anyone I've ever met, and she has, over the years, given me a great many books she really liked and then asked me what I thought of them (which generally means I actually have to read the horrible things in order to be able to make up an answer besides "I thought it was unbearably sappy, tedious, and desperately in need of an editor to cut out about 3/4 of the chapters entirely," despite the inevitable truth of that analysis).

Luckily, I've figured out a way to get her to stop giving me books - I've started specifically asking for things only she can provide (e.g. "grandma's homemade fudge"). She is flattered enough by these requests that she always fills them, and thus I get something I actually enjoy rather than yet another mind-bogglingly terrible novel. :)

Since I give out gift lists, my family only get me clothes I will actually like.

Poor agnostic me got a Biblezine for Christmas once. It was slightly awkward...

I highly recommend sending out gift lists. I have a list of movies, books, and video games I want that I update every season.

Smile, and thank them profusely. Even if the shirts are rubbish, it costs you nothing to make them feel good about their generosity.

Remember kids, lying can be good sometimes.

Smile, and thank them profusely. Even if the shirts are rubbish, it costs you nothing to make them feel good about their generosity.

Remember kids, lying can be good sometimes.
OMG...you're still alive? :eek:

:fluffle:

Smile, and thank them profusely. Even if the shirts are rubbish, it costs you nothing to make them feel good about their generosity.

Remember kids, lying can be good sometimes.

THREADWINNER.

I've learnt not to express any fondness for anything that could remotely be made into a "chain gift", i.e. gifts with a recurring theme. For some reason, people seem to think that once they gave me something with a puppy/bear/Elk/younameit on it and I said I liked it (whether that was a genuine evaluation or not), this would mean that from now on they should give me puppy/bear/Elk/younameit things for every and any other occasion, too. The longer this travesty is allowed to go on, the more obscure and useless the gifts become.

I truly enjoy my Elks and I appreciate any nice addition to my evergrowing Elk collection, but even The Truly Divine Elk cannot make completely senseless gifts into something vaguely resembling 'cool'. 'Cool' are stuffed Elk toys, Elk pictures/postcards, Elk pens, Elk whatever is nice decoration and/or useful. Last week, however, I got Elk baby socks. I am 21, I detest babies, and baby socks are completely out of the question as 'decoration'.

Most people who think they ought to send me gifts for the regular holidays (in contrast to random "Hey I thought of you and wanted to get you this little something" gifts) by now have the sense to give vouchers for bookstores, money, or something I asked for when given the question of what I wanted.

Unwanted gifts have a home. It is called Ebay. Then you can buy something you want.

Smile, and thank them profusely. Even if the shirts are rubbish, it costs you nothing to make them feel good about their generosity.

Remember kids, lying can be good sometimes.

Please if you lie to them, and then at the next family reunion, they're going to ask why you aren't wearing the shirt, and then you're going to have to lie to them then. You're just adding a lie on top of another lie.

Be honest kids, be brutally and painfully honest! It'll be hard, and may hurt some feelings, but in the long run, your family will appreciate your honesty.

Unwanted gifts have a home. It is called Ebay. Then you can buy something you want.

LOL! I like you.

Smile. Say thank you. Donate the shirts to Goodwill or the Salvation Army or something. If asked, tell them a white lie about the shirts being too small or too big and that, rather than let them go to waste, you donated them. Take the tax break from the donation. Tell them that what would really make you happy next time is a donation in your name to a charity of your choice.

Write them a thank-you letter. It doesn't matter that you don't want it, give it to a charity shop if you really must, but it was a nice thought of theirs to send you something.

Please if you lie to them, and then at the next family reunion, they're going to ask why you aren't wearing the shirt, and then you're going to have to lie to them then. You're just adding a lie on top of another lie.

Be honest kids, be brutally and painfully honest! It'll be hard, and may hurt some feelings, but in the long run, your family will appreciate your honesty.
Incorrect!

"It became a little too small for me after mum washed it at 60 degrees (slightly jab mum in the ribs so she agrees, leading to minor comedy), so I gave it to charity!"
"Oh, how kind of you"

Tada!

Incorrect!

"It became a little too small for me after mum washed it at 60 degrees (slightly jab mum in the ribs so she agrees, leading to minor comedy), so I gave it to charity!"
"Oh, how kind of you"

Tada!

I just don't believe in lying, not even "white" lies. You're just insulting yourself and the person you're lying to when you lie.

Of course you don't have to be brutally honest, you can be "nice" about it, but I like to add spices to my honesty. :D

I'm English. Charming people with lies is what I was born to do.

If there's one thing I learn, it's that sooner or later your lies catches up to you.

I just don't believe in lying, not even "white" lies. You're just insulting yourself and the person you're lying to when you lie.
I'm English. Charming people with lies is what I was born to do.

If there's one thing I learn, it's that sooner or later your lies catches up to you.
Yes, that's why you add half-truths here and there. Jesus Christ, come on man.

Thanks, Aunt Clara.

http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/1/1e/250px-A_christmas_story_bunny.jpg

I just don't believe in lying, not even "white" lies. You're just insulting yourself and the person you're lying to when you lie.

Of course you don't have to be brutally honest, you can be "nice" about it, but I like to add spices to my honesty. :D

I figured that honesty is the ideal way to live. But most folks i've seen who say they are 'honest' are quite obviously not. That and i tried being honest all the time, but it doesn't work, and didn't help me at all.

But i've found a good middle ground, between honesty and lies, called changing the topic, or telling the person something they already know but inferring your honest opinion.

Some people don't deserve the truth, also truth isn't realistically possible so i don't see why i should have to try when others don't.
That's not to say i lie on purpose, merely to avoid bad situations.

I just don't believe in lying, not even "white" lies. You're just insulting yourself and the person you're lying to when you lie.

Of course you don't have to be brutally honest, you can be "nice" about it, but I like to add spices to my honesty. :D

While I generally think honesty is best, there are times when a little white lie does no harm and may, in fact, prevent it. When mom proudly asks what you think of the latest addition, a howling feces factory with a face like a cross between Winston Churchill and Mr. Hanky, you don't tell the truth (I generally like to say something like, "he looks just like his father"). When your wife/best friend/sister/mother asks what you think of her new dress, you don't tell her that it makes her look like a bag of moldy mashed potatoes with acne and that she has the taste of a Ferengi on crack, you lie (perhaps saying something like "you look good in anything"). When your relatives give you a gift that you don't want and don't like, you thank them with a smile and do not under any circumstances tell them what you really think of their taste and motives. Of course, if you can't fib convincingly, it's probably best to be silent and smile.

While I generally think honesty is best, there are times when a little white lie does no harm and may, in fact, prevent it. When mom proudly asks what you think of the latest addition, a howling feces factory with a face like a cross between Winston Churchill and Mr. Hanky, you don't tell the truth (I generally like to say something like, "he looks just like his father"). When your wife/best friend/sister/mother asks what you think of her new dress, you don't tell her that it makes her look like a bag of moldy mashed potatoes with acne and that she has the taste of a Ferengi on crack, you lie (perhaps saying something like "you look good in anything"). When your relatives give you a gift that you don't want and don't like, you thank them with a smile and do not under any circumstances tell them what you really think of their taste and motives. Of course, if you can't fib convincingly, it's probably best to be silent and smile.

Ah i sense someone well versed in the art of diplomacy.
I tried the be slient and smile bit, but then i looked stupid because i had to do it all the time.:)
But i'll happiliy tell by immediate family what i think, (as long as they aren't too stressed or pissed off) as they're fairly laid back.

Well, it looks like I wont have to lie about them being too small. I tried them on right now and they fit to damned tight. Apparently this brand is one of those that labels things a size to small for kicks. Muscle shirts and me don't mix well. Kinda a shame, as them one of them isn't really bad, though the other is fugly (caution orange with the brand's name in HUGE letters across the front).

How do you people feel about unwanted gifts? I recently got some gifts from out-of-state relatives that I don't really see all that much, gifts that I really don't like. The said gifts were shirts, and to honest I'm really against the idea of giving clothing as gifts but thats not the biggest grudge I have against them. They were from those stores that really jack up the price of their merchandise by simply by adding their brand name or logo to what would otherwise be a very inexpensive item, which really rubs me the wrong way. I'm not a walking billboard and I'm not rich enough to spend 2 to 3 times more then what an item is actually worth for the hell of it. I feel bad because I'm never going to really wear them and this isn't the first time they've sent me clothes like this, but I also feel a little offended, like they don't really know me (which to be honest, they probably don't know me very well any more). On one hand I'd prefer a gift card or money to something I'll never use, but on the other hand they spent time and effort getting my what they did and letting them know my opinion seems like an asshole thing to do.

What gifts do you peeps hate getting, and what do you do about getting them?

Lottery tickets. Anyone who knows me knows that I don't like the element of chance. In my experience it's just a euphemism for the element of fail. To me, Lotto tickets is like saying "in case you forgot, I just wanted to remind you you're a loser."

When some gift giving seasn comes around, and people start asking me what I want, I tell them "Don't bother asking. No one ever bothers to take my advice anyway. I could tell you what I want, but you'll just say, 'that's illy, I'm not giving you that' so be creative on your own and its your fault if I hate it."

Usually unwanted gifts collect dust until I find the time to sell them XP

Maybe I'm just an asshole, but when I receive a gift I don't like I tell them I don't like it. I do thank them for the thought, though.

I thank them and find a use for that item.

yes, I'm a packrat... and semi-proud of it. :p

one Christmas, I got a pair of Ceramic Lawn Figurines (christmas party) I put on the best "oh, I am happy" face and in two minutes, I thought of where to put them.

they are now on full display at my apartment, both are now doorstops (yes, they're not heavy enough to stop a door, but then again, I don't really NEED doorstops.)

shirts (and other clothing articles) I'll always wear, even if it's at home doing something like painting a room or fixing the plumbing (both of which, I don't do.)

Well, it looks like I wont have to lie about them being too small. I tried them on right now and they fit to damned tight. Apparently this brand is one of those that labels things a size to small for kicks. Muscle shirts and me don't mix well. Kinda a shame, as them one of them isn't really bad, though the other is fugly (caution orange with the brand's name in HUGE letters across the front).

turn the orange one into a vest and use that when you need to go out at night. :p

Me and my wife got an ugly vase for our wedding, she likes it though. I have come to accept the fact that it will be forever on the table....unless it meets with an unfortunate accident.

I like all the gifts that I get.

They're usually from other countries and brag worthy.

I've learnt not to express any fondness for anything that could remotely be made into a "chain gift", i.e. gifts with a recurring theme. For some reason, people seem to think that once they gave me something with a puppy/bear/Elk/younameit on it and I said I liked it (whether that was a genuine evaluation or not), this would mean that from now on they should give me puppy/bear/Elk/younameit things for every and any other occasion, too. The longer this travesty is allowed to go on, the more obscure and useless the gifts become.
I hear ya. People have somehow made the connection that since I really like cats therefore I must really like having cat-paraphernalia everywhere and on everything.
People, it doesn't work like that! I like live, purring, playful, cuddly cats ok? Not lumps of wood or metal fashioned into cat-like shapes. There is a difference. There is a difference.

I always let anyone who's even remotely likely to give me something know, in no uncertain terms, that clothes or anything else that counts as a necessity do not equal gifts.

As for other dud items, I don't lie, although I try to find a nicer way to say "it sucks" instead of using those particular words. The reason I don't lie is because, as a kid, I found out that if I even remotely pretend to like something, I'll get more of it at the next occasion. My grandmother used to say, "next time they may not give you anything!" but I figured that if all the person was going to give was more unwanted crap...then they may as well not have given me anything anyway!

Now I've trained my family to give money. Cash or checks.

My "practical gift"-addicted aunt had the hardest time, and tried giving me gift certificates to clothes places after being told her clothes "gifts" were unwanted (even though she likes to GET cash!). But she got the message after I did it back--I went out of my way to give her a gift certificate for some store she'd have no desire to shop at. Then she finally realized how much that truly did suck, and got out the checkbook.

While I generally think honesty is best, there are times when a little white lie does no harm and may, in fact, prevent it. When mom proudly asks what you think of the latest addition, a howling feces factory with a face like a cross between Winston Churchill and Mr. Hanky, you don't tell the truth (I generally like to say something like, "he looks just like his father").

Me, I'd go with "I know the name of several good plastic surgeons." (Which is actually true BTW).

When your wife/best friend/sister/mother asks what you think of her new dress, you don't tell her that it makes her look like a bag of moldy mashed potatoes with acne and that she has the taste of a Ferengi on crack, you lie (perhaps saying something like "you look good in anything").

Me, here I do try to use some tact. If it's at a store, I try to recommend a dress that looks better on them. However if it's at home, usually I just go with "Well, I hope you kept the receipt"

When your relatives give you a gift that you don't want and don't like, you thank them with a smile and do not under any circumstances tell them what you really think of their taste and motives. Of course, if you can't fib convincingly, it's probably best to be silent and smile.

I usually ask for the receipt and if they ask why I will tell them.

I know why people hate me, but you know what, at least I sleep at night.

A friend of mine, who is very big into World of Warcraft, gave me a copy of the game as a Christmas gift. Unfortunately, I am trying to decrease my level of nerdiness or at least prevent it from rising and I don't like video games much anyway. So far I have been considering pawning off the game or something, for which I feel a bit bad.

A friend of mine, who is very big into World of Warcraft, gave me a copy of the game as a Christmas gift. Unfortunately, I am trying to decrease my level of nerdiness or at least prevent it from rising and I don't like video games much anyway. So far I have been considering pawning off the game or something, for which I feel a bit bad.

Letilia! :eek: Where ya'll been of late?

I keep telling people to just get me socks. No one has yet.
:(

Most of the stuff I get is actually good, I just hate getting gifts.

People, it doesn't work like that! I like live, purring, playful, cuddly cats ok? Not lumps of wood or metal fashioned into cat-like shapes. There is a difference. There is a difference.

I'm still wistfully waiting for the day people realize the connection might work the other way, and present me with a live, roaring, playful, strong Elk.

/snipTell them they were too small and ask for the receipt. The next time they ask, tell them the store was out of the correct size, and thank them for X, X being what you bought with the money from the shirts.