NationStates Jolt Archive

My dog recently died completely unexpectedly. She was a 7 year old golden retriever and apparently had some kind of cancer that is fairly common in goldens and german shepherds. That was a month ago, but I still feel as sick and lonely as the day that she passed. I really loved her like my sister. I want to start having fun again but at the same time I want to honor her memory. The only problem is thinking about her makes me sad again.

Have you ever suffered a painful loss in your life? How did you handle it?

You have my deepest condolences. I have lost many pets before, including my cat who was like a son to me (he died in August). :(

Plenty.

I usually seek distraction right afterwards, and then work my way through the grief bit by bit. I usually can't deal with it all at once, I need it bitesized...

Talk to your friends & loved ones about it, so you're not bottling it up. Unfortunately there is no "cure" for grief, but the passage of time does eventually soften the pain. Cabra has a good point, trying to deal with it all at once can be a very overwhelming & paralysing feeling.

I have no very good advice (I suck at dealing with grief), but you have my condolences. :(

I know how you feel. I lost my cat about 2 years ago, and sometimes I still see her when I come back home from university. She was the most calm, loving cat I have ever had. She had cancer, and we took her to the vet, and he thought he got it all out, but it just came back, and since it was in her head, she went quick. So quick, that she didn't even have a week or two after the surgery. My mom actually went into a bit of debt because of that surgery, but we thought it was worth it, to try and get her better, as she was a family member. It still hurts to talk about even now.


I think that maybe you should get a new puppy, and name it in honor of your previous doggy. That way as that dog grows up, you grow close to it, and all the good times you have with it will be just as golden as the times you had with your previous doggy.

As for handling grief, I turn to my faith. Granted, in this situation, I don't how faith would be able to console you over the loss of an animal.

Talk about it to people you're close to - family or friends.

Talk about how you feel.

Even if they have no advice to give you it can be incredibly therapeutic just to be able to vocalise your feelings and have someone to listen.


I would highly recommend it.

:( I had to put my dog down last year, it's very sad. I made a scrap book of pictures of him and wrote about funny/unique things he did. It really helped my kids to be able to look at his book whenever they missed him.

Tongs.

Tongs.

:confused:

My dog recently died completely unexpectedly. She was a 7 year old golden retriever and apparently had some kind of cancer that is fairly common in goldens and german shepherds. That was a month ago, but I still feel as sick and lonely as the day that she passed. I really loved her like my sister. I want to start having fun again but at the same time I want to honor her memory. The only problem is thinking about her makes me sad again.

Have you ever suffered a painful loss in your life? How did you handle it?

I'm so sorry.
Read a lot, write a lot, listen to music... talk to family and friends who also loved her... maybe someday (but not too soon) you can let another pet into your life.

I agree that you will feel better if you get a new dog, but I wouldn't go so far as to name it after the previous dog. Every dog has their own personality and it will just hurt you if you continually compare it to the previous dog. For the first couple years that my family owned my new dog, my mother would always complain that he wasn't as good as the old one. This isn't right. You have to get over the death of the previous dog before you buy a new one.

If you aren't over your grief it can hurt your judgment. When my dog died, my family rushed out to get a new dog even though we weren't in a great position to take care of it. My family picked the best looking dog. Unfortunately he was the most cowardly and antisocial dog that the breeder had. They choose the only dog who isolated himself from the other dogs. I told them not to buy him but they didn't listen to me. The dog never became socially adjusted enough to play with other dogs, despite all the time we spent at 2 different obedience schools when he was a puppy. He started nipping anyone who walked near the house, and the town got so upset about that they told us we are not allowed to walk him any more and made us build a dog pen with a roof and cement floor. Of course we still sneak him in the car and take him for walks out of town, but if we're caught the dog dies.

In my opinion grief doesn't have to be handled. It's a natural reaction that fades over time.

Please accept my deepest sympathies.

If legal, acquaint yourself with a bottle of Scotch.

If not, find a good CD and just listen.

My Aunt's 15 year old Shelty just died.

In my family, pets aren't like family, they are family.

Distract yourself with happier things...or anything that distracts at all.

In my family, pets aren't like family, they are family.

Same here.

You have my condolences, West Corinthia.

--The Democratic States of Cogitation

My dog recently died completely unexpectedly. She was a 7 year old golden retriever and apparently had some kind of cancer that is fairly common in goldens and german shepherds. That was a month ago, but I still feel as sick and lonely as the day that she passed. I really loved her like my sister. I want to start having fun again but at the same time I want to honor her memory. The only problem is thinking about her makes me sad again.

Have you ever suffered a painful loss in your life? How did you handle it?

My favorite cat died last September. My mother died a year ago. I handle grief badly. I tend to get really crabby and ill-tempered.

I'm sorry about your dog. In some ways, it's almost worse losing a pet because their love is uncritical and total.

The following link may make you cry (it made me cry), but it helps. It's a lot sentimental, which makes me uncomfortable sometimes, but sometimes that's what's needed.

http://www.petloss.com/poems/maingrp/rainbowb.htm

I'd give advice, but the way I handle grief is ridiculously self-destructive.

http://www.petloss.com/poems/maingrp/rainbowb.htm

My mom read that to me when my cat died last year. It made me cry.

Don't bottle up your grief. Find a good support network and talk to them. That will help make things better.

My dog died recently, and my best friend was killed on his way to work last year. For Blarney, I had to have a good cry initially, and talk about it with a friend. Sooner than expected, I got over it. Then again, I knew it was coming with him and could start to mentally prepare, even if I didn't want to.

With Jamin, it was completely unexpected. The colonel pulled all the officers into his office and told us, and all I remember is feeling numb and disconnected. Talking is the best thing you can do. Try to remember the good memories, and the hurt will pass with time.

I've never been attached to pets enough to really grieve them, but with people I find, after the initial shock and numbness has gone, either distracting yourself or remembering nice things about them is a good way to lift your mood which would otherwise plummet. Unexpected death is always worse, and expect to feel guilt about something you could have done to prevent it/to help in some way; of course, there was most likely nothing much you could have done, but it's natural to feel like that. I don't cry, and only talk to people about it after a while, but I generally immerse myself in work or writing music.

My dog recently died completely unexpectedly. She was a 7 year old golden retriever and apparently had some kind of cancer that is fairly common in goldens and german shepherds. That was a month ago, but I still feel as sick and lonely as the day that she passed. I really loved her like my sister. I want to start having fun again but at the same time I want to honor her memory. The only problem is thinking about her makes me sad again.

Have you ever suffered a painful loss in your life? How did you handle it?

I'm sorry to hear about your dog, I really am.

Personally, I think you should start having fun again, I mean that's what your dog would've wanted.

Have you ever suffered a painful loss in your life? How did you handle it?We had the funeral service for my step-grandfather last weekend. Having a ceremony where the grieving can let it all out is probably the best way of handling it, followed by keeping yourself preoccupied afterwards.

I have suffered quite a number of losses in the last 10 or so years but I think that grief is nothing but self-pity. I prefer to spend quality time with the people (and pets) that I like instead of mourning their passing because I have no longer a part of their lives. Grief is about the one who grieves, not about the object of grief.

My dog recently died completely unexpectedly. She was a 7 year old golden retriever and apparently had some kind of cancer that is fairly common in goldens and german shepherds. That was a month ago, but I still feel as sick and lonely as the day that she passed. I really loved her like my sister. I want to start having fun again but at the same time I want to honor her memory. The only problem is thinking about her makes me sad again.

Have you ever suffered a painful loss in your life? How did you handle it?

well i am sorry for your loss, my self:(:(
, if someone dear to me dies, i kick my self for not doing all i could have, and then i go out and pick fights to take out my anger and grief on someone else

Have you ever suffered a painful loss in your life? How did you handle it?

The most recent and only significant loss I can remember was of our third dog who died two years ago. He had cancer and we were told he had less than a month to live, I was sad for a while, but then I got over it. Embarrassingly and sadly enough he ended up living for several months longer than we thought, and by that time I'd already gotten over his still eminent death, I still feel bad about that sometimes :(

i dont think there IS a way to handle grief. there certainly isnt ONE way to handle it.

death sucks. the harder the loss hits us the more we grieve. its a testament to your dog that you are still so broken up over her loss a month later. dont worry that you are not mourning every minute. its not necessary. you mourn the amount that is right for you.

honestly, a month isnt a long time to mourn such a loss. give yourself a break. everyone is different and needs a different amount of time to grieve. as long as you are able to do the things you need to do day to day, youre OK. as time passes you adjust to your new life without her. you dont "get over it" but you get past it. which you will.