NationStates Jolt Archive

I have a very English-sounding last name by grace of being half-American, so I got visited yesterday by some people wanting some of their pamphlets translated. They were quite surprised when I affirmed that I was indeed a native English-speaker in fluent German. Then they took out their pamphlets, mentioning that they were trying to spread the Gospel. And the pamphlets were "Watchtower" magazines. I declined, since I'm an avowed agnostic and I'd rather not spread the word of any religion.

We ended up having a nice chat about what an agnostic is (they hadn't heard the term before, it seems), how I can possible live without my life having a purpose, and how everywhere there are signs indicating an Intelligent Designer.

Afterwards, I wished them a good day.

Ugh. Jehovas. They're a doomsday cult whose specialty is fleecing the elderly. Thanks for not helping them, although I'd be surprised if they didn't already have "The Watchtower" in German after 100+ years - probably just an angle they used to get you talking to them.

You forgot to add an explicit discussion impetus! ;P

Anyhow, I'll just be all independent and creative and say that I applaud you for your refusal to do the job, and also for your politeness in dealing with the Witnesses - while I enjoy a good prank once in a while like everyone else, I'm all for treating everyone with a certain base politeness even if they deny you the same (as in, trespass on your grounds, wake you at insane hours on Saturdays etc.).

Ugh. Jehovas. They're a doomsday cult whose specialty is fleecing the elderly. Thanks for not helping them, although I'd be surprised if they didn't already have "The Watchtower" in German after 100+ years - probably just an angle they used to get you talking to them.They do have it, it's called "Wachturm". I'm surprised they had the English version with them...

You forgot to add an explicit discussion impetus! ;P Verklag mich doch =P

Anyhow, I'll just be all independent and creative and say that I applaud you for your refusal to do the job, and also for your politeness in dealing with the Witnesses - while I enjoy a good prank once in a while like everyone else, I'm all for treating everyone with a certain base politeness even if they deny you the same (as in, trespass on your grounds, wake you at insane hours on Saturdays etc.).They missed me on Saturday. Luckily I was off mourning the death of a family member at the time...

They missed me on Saturday. Luckily I was off mourning the death of a family member at the time...

Wow... just goes to show, everything can be good for something.

And no, I don't mean to be mean here.

Ugh. Jehovas. They're a doomsday cult whose specialty is fleecing the elderly. Thanks for not helping them, although I'd be surprised if they didn't already have "The Watchtower" in German after 100+ years - probably just an angle they used to get you talking to them.

I'm very sure I've had the joy and honor to sample a German Watchtower once, and I cannot possibly imagine they wouldn't have it, seeing the Witnesses' prevalence in Germany.

I'm very sure I've had the joy and honor to sample a German Watchtower once, and I cannot possibly imagine they wouldn't have it, seeing the Witnesses' prevalence in Germany.what prevalence ? 165000 in a population of 80 million is not prevalent.

what prevalence ? 165000 in a population of 80 million is not prevalent.

Yes, it is. Even the 1 in 6.6 billion being me is a prevalence.

Lucky escape there. I'm usually polite, but firm, with the JWs.

Lucky escape there. I'm usually polite, but firm, with the JWs.
Why polite?

Why polite?Why be an asshole?

Why polite?

Because being polite is easy, costs nothing, and is just generally a 'nicer' way to go about things?

Why be an asshole?Because religious retards will never get my politeness.

Because religious retards will never get my politeness.You have politeness? I have yet to see evidence of such. I have the impression that you're so centered around your own opinion that you believe it justified to treat others that disagree with you with disrespect.

I am always polite to religious door knockers as well, but I try to convert them. Generally there'll be 2 of them. An older, more experienced true believer, and a younger, potential atheist.

You go with the classics. If god created us, who created god? Why did old school god always talk to people, have prophets, have miracles that were unexplainable by anything except that god created them, etc, and now he's stopped. Basically, (to lend from Eddie Murphy) What have you done for me lately, God?

If I can just get 1 JW to think about their religion, it's a good thing.

Normally, once I tell the doorknockers I'm a Satanist, they leave. Often in a hurry. Seems no one want to deal with a real Satanist face-to-face.

Why polite?

They think they're doing the right thing & I don't need to be shitty to them. If I'm woken up early/with a hangover then I'm rude.



Mormons: (at 9am on Saturday) Knock, knock.

Me: (opens door & looks blearily) You're mormons aren't you?

Mormons: Yes.

Me: Piss off (slam).

An older, more experienced true believer, and a younger, potential atheist.

Lucky you. I got a married couple. Both in their 40s. Twice. And the same people at that. Annually too. I've got a clock running, with estimates of when they'll be coming back this year.

My dogs are on the small side, but a sprinkling of whipped cream might give them that hint of rabidness....

Heahah JW's are always sooo much fun. I think I'm banned to them now I have not had them vist me for years, not since two elders visted me and stayed for 4 hours to try to save my heathen arse.

I actuly had them shouting at me, they left in a huff, fuckin' great!

They think they're doing the right thing & I don't need to be shitty to them.Yes you need to be, so maybe they realize that what they think is wrong. They are not doing the right thing.

I have a very English-sounding last name by grace of being half-American, so I got visited yesterday by some people wanting some of their pamphlets translated. They were quite surprised when I affirmed that I was indeed a native English-speaker in fluent German. Then they took out their pamphlets, mentioning that they were trying to spread the Gospel. And the pamphlets were "Watchtower" magazines. I declined, since I'm an avowed agnostic and I'd rather not spread the word of any religion.

We ended up having a nice chat about what an agnostic is (they hadn't heard the term before, it seems), how I can possible live without my life having a purpose, and how everywhere there are signs indicating an Intelligent Designer.

Afterwards, I wished them a good day.
What happens if you start offering them Scientology tracts?

I've found (by telling the truth, by the way) that the quickest way to get rid of a Jehovah's Witness is to tell them that you attend the Church of Christ. Apparently, we're lost causes...or hard sells.

I somehow look like someone that can be approached. They are always coming up to me on the streets. Mormons have always been unusually cool to me on the other hand. Every so often they'll ask if I want to go to church and I'll ask if they hadn't met their quota for the month. Even the door knocking missionaries I can get to leave in under 5 min.

Why polite?

Because, from their point of view, they're trying to do something nice for you. It's like when my sister sent me that seven page letter describing potential purse purposes, she thought she was being nice in telling me about her exciting purse-ness. I thought that it was a nuisance and waste of postage...and highly illegible, because her letter-writing style is not conducive to conventional sorts of grammar.

Because religious retards will never get my politeness.

:eek: You have politeness? :eek:
;)

Yes you need to be, so maybe they realize that what they think is wrong. They are not doing the right thing.Would you change your wicked ways if we were shitty to you?

What happens if you start offering them Scientology tracts?No clue. As an agnostic, I'm against missionary work in general.

I've found (by telling the truth, by the way) that the quickest way to get rid of a Jehovah's Witness is to tell them that you attend the Church of Christ. Apparently, we're lost causes...or hard sells.Well, they didn't really come to convert me, but to ask for my help in translating things. The usual strategies don't really work :p

I've never been visited by Jehovah's Witnesses. I think they came by my house once, but my mom dealt with them.

If I was the one who answered the door, I'd inform them that I am a religious Jew and they are wasting their time with me. Also, they should skip the family two houses up from us - they're religious Catholics.

I found out when I put my collection of cement gargoyles out on the front porch.(17 of them in all) that the JW's will drive up my driveway,.Sit abit, then drive away! Don't they know that gargoyles are suppose to be a protection AGAINST evil?

That's why the Jehovah's Witnesses don't linger. ;)

I found out when I put my collection of cement gargoyles out on the front porch.(17 of them in all) that the JW's will drive up my driveway,.Sit abit, then drive away! Don't they know that gargoyles are suppose to be a protection AGAINST evil?

It's as stupid not to question your own religious beliefs than to question the ones of others.

Would you change your wicked ways if we were shitty to you?You could try.
But the point really is: they attack you with their ideology and it really does not matter how nice they appear in doing so. An attack remains an attack and deserves no nicety in return.

You could try.
But the point really is: they attack you with their ideology and it really does not matter how nice they appear in doing so. An attack remains an attack and deserves no nicety in return.Attack? If it was that, it was extremely feeble. No need to give a disproportionate response.

Thouroughly nice chap, even if he did give me AIDS and a rather nasty rectal prolapse.

Umm are you sure it was the preist and not the duster?

Are you saying that being nasty to JW's that take up you time on the doorstep, on inside your house, without invitation is a disproportianate response?If they leave after you ask them nicely, yeah, it is a disproportionate response.

You could try.
But the point really is: they attack you with their ideology and it really does not matter how nice they appear in doing so. An attack remains an attack and deserves no nicety in return.

True. I do hate it when JW's knock on my door with baseball bats, but I try to be polite back. Sometimes it makes them beat softer.

Attack? If it was that, it was extremely feeble. No need to give a disproportionate response.
Telling someone rubbish about "God" is an attack on one's mental integrity, and not a feeble one. Proselytization is always an aggression, as is wasting someones precious lifetime with ideological dirt.

Attack? If it was that, it was extremely feeble. No need to give a disproportionate response.

Are you saying that being nasty to JW's that take up your time on the doorstep, or inside your house, without invitation is a disproportianate response?

Hm. Yes, I received one of those a couple of days ago.

So, who is literature's most memorable agnostic? I vote for Loudermulch from The Eyes of the Overworld, by Jack Vance.

Loudermulch had been asked his opinion of the so-called Funambulous Evangels, who, refusing to place their feet upon the ground, went about their tasks by tightrope. In a curt voice Loudermulch exposed the fallacies of this particular doctrine. "They reckon the age of the earth at twenty-nine eons, rather than the customary twenty-three. They stipulate that for every square ell of soil two and one quarter million men have died and laid down their dust, thus creating a dank and ubiquitous mantle of lich-mold, upon which it is sacrilege to walk. The argument has a superficial plausibility, but consider: the dust of one of dessicated corpse, spread over a square ell, affords a layer one thirty-third of an inch in dept. The total therefor represents almost one mile of compacted corpse-dust mantling the earth's surface, which is manifestly false."
A member of the sect, who, without access to his customary ropes, walked about in cumbersome ceremonial shoes, made an excited expostulation. "You speak with neither logic nor comprehension! How can you be so absolute?"

There is more to the argument, but I will not post it here.

heheh I remember as a kid we had those people come to our house incessantly in the course of a week or 2. Nothing my father could do could get rid of them and they would stay in our house drinking coffee for hours on end. Finally he tried to convert them to Islam as a last ditch effort.

We never heard from them again :D

I've found (by telling the truth, by the way) that the quickest way to get rid of a Jehovah's Witness is to tell them that you attend the Church of Christ. Apparently, we're lost causes...or hard sells.
Wow! I oughta try that some time! Usually, I just let my dog bark at them for a little, and twist the doorknob as if to open it. Usually works.:D

If they leave after you ask them nicely, yeah, it is a disproportionate response.

Ahhh if's and but's huh.:D

So, who is literature's most memorable agnostic? I vote for Loudermulch from The Eyes of the Overworld, by Jack Vance.
Madrak, from Roger Zelazney's Creatures of Light and Darkness (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Creatures_of_Light_and_Darkness): I sometimes consider writing instructions, to be opened after my death, that his "Possibly Proper Death Litany" is to be read out loud at my funeral...

Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything you may have done or failed to do which requires forgiveness. Conversely, if not forgiveness but something else may be required to ensure any possible benefit for which you may be eligible after the destruction of your body, I ask that this, whatever it may be, be granted or withheld, as the case may be, in such a manner as to insure your receiving said benefit. I ask this in my capacity as your elected intermediary between yourself and that which may not be yourself, but which may have an interest in the matter of your receiving as much as it is possible for you to receive of this thing, and which may in some way be influenced by this ceremony. Amen.

Oh, that is quite good. If there is any other humor throughout the book I guarantee you I you will read it. Can you show me few more snippets?
I'm afraid not, at least not now: Have you followed the link to the book's wikipedia entry yet?

(Oops! Posted as the wrong nation: St Edmund here...)

Madrak, from Roger Zelazney's Creatures of Light and Darkness (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Creatures_of_Light_and_Darkness): I sometimes consider writing instructions, to be opened after my death, that his "Possibly Proper Death Litany" is to be read out loud at my funeral...

Oh, that is quite good. If there is any other humor throughout the book I guarantee you I you will read it. Can you show me few more snippets?

I'm afraid not, at least not now: Have you followed the link to the book's wikipedia entry yet?

(Oops! Posted as the wrong nation: St Edmund here...)

Yes, to be sure I did. And I was intrigued by the notion.

You could try.
But the point really is: they attack you with their ideology and it really does not matter how nice they appear in doing so. An attack remains an attack and deserves no nicety in return.
Obviously you should bomb them.

Obviously you should bomb them.

Nah, UB should just talk to them, it'd be much, much crueler ;)

I have a very English-sounding last name by grace of being half-American, so I got visited yesterday by some people wanting some of their pamphlets translated. They were quite surprised when I affirmed that I was indeed a native English-speaker in fluent German. Then they took out their pamphlets, mentioning that they were trying to spread the Gospel. And the pamphlets were "Watchtower" magazines. I declined, since I'm an avowed agnostic and I'd rather not spread the word of any religion.

We ended up having a nice chat about what an agnostic is (they hadn't heard the term before, it seems), how I can possible live without my life having a purpose, and how everywhere there are signs indicating an Intelligent Designer.

Afterwards, I wished them a good day.

... and ... ?

heheh I remember as a kid we had those people come to our house incessantly in the course of a week or 2. Nothing my father could do could get rid of them and they would stay in our house drinking coffee for hours on end. Finally he tried to convert them to Islam as a last ditch effort.

We never heard from them again :D

I think my first ditch effort would have been to refrain from inviting them in for coffee.

Because religious retards will never get my politeness.

Although I have to say the group is a little (alright, exceedingly) annoying with their house raiding, I must also say they are nice people over all. What with the fact that they actually think they are helping you and the fact that they give so much to charity.

Of course, I still let my dog out when they came to my house....

I have a very English-sounding last name by grace of being half-American, so I got visited yesterday by some people wanting some of their pamphlets translated. They were quite surprised when I affirmed that I was indeed a native English-speaker in fluent German. Then they took out their pamphlets, mentioning that they were trying to spread the Gospel. And the pamphlets were "Watchtower" magazines. I declined, since I'm an avowed agnostic and I'd rather not spread the word of any religion.

We ended up having a nice chat about what an agnostic is (they hadn't heard the term before, it seems), how I can possible live without my life having a purpose, and how everywhere there are signs indicating an Intelligent Designer.

Afterwards, I wished them a good day.

It's good to know decent conversations still happen once and a while... I thought those went extinct with the condors.

I learned an important lesson one day. I was walking down the street, and approaching from the oncoming direction was a Mormon, tag and get-up. I made the mistake of making eye contact. He stops me and asks me the standard introductory BS. I said I was an Atheist and that was the end of that. I discovered that being an Atheist is very effective against the younger ones, especially when you smile and act nice. They assume we're lost causes.

I have yet to encounter a JW, though if I do, I'd try my method of open honesty first and if that failed, I'd tell them that my Jewish in-laws wouldn't be pleased and that they as God's chosen would have God smite the JW for knocking on my door. ;)

JW's consider themselves Jewish as well as Christian. They even call the Old Testament the Tanakh. Thus, they are Judaism 2.0 and Christianity 1.∞.

I learned an important lesson one day. I was walking down the street, and approaching from the oncoming direction was a Mormon, tag and get-up. I made the mistake of making eye contact. He stops me and asks me the standard introductory BS. I said I was an Atheist and that was the end of that. I discovered that being an Atheist is very effective against the younger ones, especially when you smile and act nice. They assume we're lost causes.

I have yet to encounter a JW, though if I do, I'd try my method of open honesty first and if that failed, I'd tell them that my Jewish in-laws wouldn't be pleased and that they as God's chosen would have God smite the JW for knocking on my door. ;)

So far haven't had any JW's come to my house, although I have had several Mormons 'stop in' haven't been in the mood to deal with them, so just told them "sorry, not interested" and closed the door again.

I found out when I put my collection of cement gargoyles out on the front porch.(17 of them in all) that the JW's will drive up my driveway,.Sit abit, then drive away! Don't they know that gargoyles are suppose to be a protection AGAINST evil?

They appear to be working.

...so I got visited yesterday by some people wanting some of their pamphlets translated...

... And the pamphlets were "Watchtower" magazines. I declined, since I'm an avowed agnostic and I'd rather not spread the word of any religion.

You just passed up the prankster opportunity of a lifetime. Imagine the ridiculous and hilarious things you could have "translated" from the original. You could have written about the sacred monkeys of Antioch, the alien impregnation of Mary and the latest incarnation of Christ, Tom Cruise.

... and ... ?It's spawned a rather interesting conversation so far.

You just passed up the prankster opportunity of a lifetime. Imagine the ridiculous and hilarious things you could have "translated" from the original. You could have written about the sacred monkeys of Antioch, the alien impregnation of Mary and the latest incarnation of Christ, Tom Cruise.Unfortunately, they wanted me to translate English into German, so they would have likely noticed...

JW's consider themselves Jewish as well as Christian. They even call the Old Testament the Tanakh. Thus, they are Judaism 2.0 and Christianity 1.∞.
Even I call the Old Testament the Tanakh. What's your point?

Even I call the Old Testament the Tanakh. What's your point?

That you're secretly a Jehovah's Witness?
That would certainly come as a surprise if it was actually true ;)

Although I have to say the group is a little (alright, exceedingly) annoying with their house raiding, I must also say they are nice people over all. What with the fact that they actually think they are helping you and the fact that they give so much to charity.I don't see how being nice changes anything about their aim. With idiots like that I sometimes regret that the RCC doesn't put heretics on stakes anymore.

That you're secretly a Jehovah's Witness?
That would certainly come as a surprise if it was actually trueThe only thing I can witness about Jehovah is that he's a fabrication, my dear. ;)
And that's not such a surprise really

Wow, Big Jim P... I just noticed that you live right around the corner from me, well sort of...

I don't see how being nice changes anything about their aim. With idiots like that I sometimes regret that the RCC doesn't put heretics on stakes anymore.

I would support that, unfortunately those who may be killed by collateral damage (namely me) makes this unacceptable.

No Kidding?

I live in Fort Edward.

Wow, Big Jim P... I just noticed that you live right around the corner from me, well sort of...

No Kidding?

I live in Fort Edward.

Cool.

Even I call the Old Testament the Tanakh. What's your point?

You are not religious, you are just using the term to be correct. I am saying Christian groups tend to call the book the "Old Testament". For the book to be called the Tanakh by official religious stamp is not the traditional Christian thing. And unlike many Christians, the Jehovah's Witnesses endorse virtually all of the Jewish teachings. They say that the Tanakh is "an excellent guide to living".

However, I did feel that they betrayed the Jews when I noticed they portrayed Jesus with short hair (Mosses too, I think). I think I know why they did that. What is next? Jesus gets a shave? His beard is already noticeably smaller.