NationStates Jolt Archive

Recently our household was blessed with a baby. A cute, screaming, impossibly loud baby.

What's the most painless way to deafen myself? I hear that commercial ear drops can eat right through your ear drum, but I don't think I can wait long enough to go to the store.

Recently our household was blessed with a baby. A cute, screaming, impossibly loud baby.

What's the most painless way to deafen myself? I hear that commercial ear drops can eat right through your ear drum, but I don't think I can wait long enough to go to the store.

does this mean that its not your baby?

youll get used to the crying. it just takes a bit of time.

does this mean that its not your baby?

youll get used to the crying. it just takes a bit of time.

It is indeed not my baby, nor is it really my sibling. I have no blood relation to it.

It is indeed not my baby, nor is it really my sibling. I have no blood relation to it.



It will still taste delicous. I recommend some sauted red peppers and a nice white whine sauce.

It is indeed not my baby, nor is it really my sibling. I have no blood relation to it.

oh well then. the best course it to stay as far away from it as possible.

It will still taste delicous. I recommend some sauted red peppers and a nice white whine sauce.

Bah. Heathly dose of tabasco does the trick.

Large quantities of alcohol should do it.

youll get used to the crying. it just takes a bit of time.

QFT

Recently our household was blessed with a baby. A cute, screaming, impossibly loud baby.

What's the most painless way to deafen myself? I hear that commercial ear drops can eat right through your ear drum, but I don't think I can wait long enough to go to the store.
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2013/1760283150_02b3e0db2e_m.jpg

Get an alien. They always help!

And congrats on the new human. ;)

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2013/1760283150_02b3e0db2e_m.jpg

Get an alien. They always help!

And congrats on the new human. ;)

I've always wanted my own xenomorph.

I've always wanted my own xenomorph.

the babies just clamp on to you and take your heart... ok, more like your stomach but it's still close enough.

Just buy some ear plugs, or move out.

Bah. Heathly dose of tabasco does the trick.

I thought that Jonathon Swift advised that you wait until the first birthday, then either stew it, bake it, boil it, or roast it. Details can be found in A Modest Proposal (http://www.uoregon.edu/~rbear/modest.html).

I'm sorry but I cannot kill you. It's against forum rules.

http://www.fugly.com/media/IMAGES/WTF/eating-the-baby-sandwich.jpg

You knew it was coming

It will still taste delicous. I recommend some sauted red peppers and a nice white whine sauce.
Was that intentional, or fortuitous?

Just buy some ear plugs, or move out.

That's no fun. I prefer solutions with as much blood as possible.

Benadryl... the answers to all your problems.

do your nipples go on alert when you hear it cry? I just like asking that question

do what you do when you have loud neighbours and drown the crying out with death metal!

do your nipples go on alert when you hear it cry? I just like asking that question

do what you do when you have loud neighbours and drown the crying out with death metal!

I lost my nipples in 'nam you insensitive clod.

It will still taste delicous. I recommend some sauted red peppers and a nice white whine sauce.

I prefer it pure...

Take out the ol' shot gun I always say. Or shove a M80 up its butt.

my oldest had colic, it was not fun, you have to not take it personally and don't get pissed or nervous, babies smell fear! have the parents take it to the doctor if it's crying too much, it might have something like gas or reflux or something else painful and annoying for babies.

there are gas drops at the health food store, they are safe, you just put a drop under baby's tongue and he will fart all night, and then cry less........

whose baby is this? *didn't read past the OP* is it being burped properly? how old is it? does it puke a lot?

my oldest had colic, it was not fun, you have to not take it personally and don't get pissed or nervous, babies smell fear! have the parents take it to the doctor if it's crying too much, it might have something like gas or reflux or something else painful and annoying for babies.

there are gas drops at the health food store, they are safe, you just put a drop under baby's tongue and he will fart all night, and then cry less........

whose baby is this? *didn't read past the OP* is it being burped properly? how old is it? does it puke a lot?

I used to give mine fennel tea mixed with her formula. Slip the bottle into her screaming mouth, and she would start to drink. While the bottle was gently squalling empty she would begin farting to the point that it wasn't so much flatulence as deflation. Then she'd pass out.

That's no fun. I prefer solutions with as much blood as possible.

if you listened to some Cannibal Corpse or some other gory death metal. Whilst you drowned out the noise of the screaming baby you may get some good ideas on how to dispose of 'it' :rolleyes:

also it could drive you to kill yourself as Cannibal Corpse are extremely boring

Someone told me that if u put a crying baby under water, it eventually stops crying. It works every time he says...

there are gas drops at the health food store, they are safe, you just put a drop under baby's tongue and he will fart all night, and then cry less........

do these fart drops work on people?

because I could have fun with this :p

Recently our household was blessed with a baby. A cute, screaming, impossibly loud baby.

What's the most painless way to deafen myself? I hear that commercial ear drops can eat right through your ear drum, but I don't think I can wait long enough to go to the store.

You can stab your ears out with a Q-Tip. Or you could listen to your IPod. I think option two is better. But that's just me.

do these fart drops work on people?

because I could have fun with this :p

only if they have un-expelled gas to begin with....... (most people do)

Trade in the baby for a couple kittens?

Recently our household was blessed with a baby. A cute, screaming, impossibly loud baby.

What's the most painless way to deafen myself? I hear that commercial ear drops can eat right through your ear drum, but I don't think I can wait long enough to go to the store.

:sniper:

Best way to deafen yourself?

If this is a permanent situation...get used to it.

If not, earplugs.

Someone told me that if u put a crying baby under water, it eventually stops crying. It works every time he says...

This is the solution I've chosen.

just use a pillow to cover and the noise will go away. Funny, I could be refering to your ears or the baby. It's your call.