NationStates Jolt Archive

I see the titular sentence written on these here board semi-regularly. Every time I read something along those lines I can't help but feel that total blamelessness shouldn't be a pre-requisite for sympathy.

How do the good people of NSG react to the sentiments expressed in the title? In what context would it be right or wrong in your eyes?

How do the good people of NSG react to the sentiments expressed in the title? In what context would it be right or wrong in your eyes?I have no sympathy for someone intending to engage in homocide accidentally killing themselves in a remote area... Other than that... can't really think of many instances in which sympathy at least in some sort of form would be undeserved.

How do the good people of NSG react to the sentiments expressed in the title? In what context would it be right or wrong in your eyes?

No sympathy generally is too strong. But less than I would have if it had not been their own fault ? Hell yes. I value freedom. Freedom without accepting the consequences is nothing.

I make my own thread about something else.

The only circumstance I can think of when I would agree with that sort of statement is if a person is harmed in the process of harming or attempting to harm others.

i end up thinking that the person who expressed such sentiments doesnt have much life experience.

I make my own thread about something else.

...so?

Well, sometimes people make such stupid/naive decisions, that are so obviously bad and can so obviously lead to trouble, that you have no pity or sympathy for them. They are learning a lesson.:p

my sympathy is pretty much unconditional I guess

I can't help but feel sorry for living things :)

I see the titular sentence written on these here board semi-regularly. Every time I read something along those lines I can't help but feel that total blamelessness shouldn't be a pre-requisite for sympathy.

How do the good people of NSG react to the sentiments expressed in the title? In what context would it be right or wrong in your eyes?
I find myself frequently expressing that sentiment in the context of discussions about relationships.

For example:

My current pet peeve is when the "Other woman" is shocked--shocked!--to find out that the married man she's sleeping with has turned around and started cheating on her.

Dumbass. If he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you. If you want to help somebody cheat on their wife, that's between you and him. Just don't bother crying to me when it turns out that a man who'd cheat on his wife will also cheat on his girlfriend. I've got no sympathy for that level of stupid.

I find myself frequently expressing that sentiment in the context of discussions about relationships.

For example:

My current pet peeve is when the "Other woman" is shocked--shocked!--to find out that the married man she's sleeping with has turned around and started cheating on her.

Dumbass. If he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you. If you want to help somebody cheat on their wife, that's between you and him. Just don't bother crying to me when it turns out that a man who'd cheat on his wife will also cheat on his girlfriend. I've got no sympathy for that level of stupid.Depending on whom it was, I might actually comfort them and not belittle them for making such a mistake.

I see the titular sentence written on these here board semi-regularly. Every time I read something along those lines I can't help but feel that total blamelessness shouldn't be a pre-requisite for sympathy.

How do the good people of NSG react to the sentiments expressed in the title? In what context would it be right or wrong in your eyes?

It depends upon the situation, if the person has done something monumentally stupid then I don't feel any sympathy towards them, as in this example:
My current pet peeve is when the "Other woman" is shocked--shocked!--to find out that the married man she's sleeping with has turned around and started cheating on her.

Dumbass. If he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you. If you want to help somebody cheat on their wife, that's between you and him. Just don't bother crying to me when it turns out that a man who'd cheat on his wife will also cheat on his girlfriend. I've got no sympathy for that level of stupid.

Depends on the circumstances. I have infinate sympathy for some people and next to little for others. People that know the proper course of action and willingly choose not to take said action are not deserving of my sympathy.

To give an example; there's this guy that frequents the financial blogs I read. And he's always whining about how he has no job and therefore no money. I should point out, he has no disability or anything like that. People have pointed him in the direction of education and the financial assistance he could get. That's too complicated. Others suggest he look for an apprenticeship. Nope, too long before he could make "real money." Others suggest he should just get any job to start making money and getting a job history. Nope, no point in working because "obviously" the only job a 30 y/o with no real work history can get is McDonalds, and he just can't do a variable schedule.

I have sympathy even for criminals and others who to many do not deserve it. But my sympathy only extends so far to some people.

I have no sympathy for top Al Qaeda member Al-Libi's death, it's totally his fault!

I think I can sympathize with people in most situations, but I do have other feelings beyond that sympathy.

Let me give you an example.

Let's say I'm a nurse taking care of a patient who just got in a minor bicycle accident. He wasn't wearing a helmet, and he wound up getting a small concussion.

I can sympathize with the patient: he's in pain, he didn't wake up in the morning saying "I'm going to go out today and get into a totally gnarly accident and fuck my head up", and no one likes being in the hospital. Hell, I was there. Why wouldn't I sympathize with him?

But by that same token I'd tell the guy that he might not have been in the hospital if he had shown a little extra common sense and worn his helmet. Next time around hopefully he'll remember his battle with the pavement and do so.

I hope people understand what I'm trying to say here...

I think I can sympathize with people in most situations, but I do have other feelings beyond that sympathy.

Let me give you an example.

Let's say I'm a nurse taking care of a patient who just got in a minor bicycle accident. He wasn't wearing a helmet, and he wound up getting a small concussion.

I can sympathize with the patient: he's in pain, he didn't wake up in the morning saying "I'm going to go out today and get into a totally gnarly accident and fuck my head up", and no one likes being in the hospital. Hell, I was there. Why wouldn't I sympathize with him?

But by that same token I'd tell the guy that he might not have been in the hospital if he had shown a little extra common sense and worn his helmet. Next time around hopefully he'll remember his battle with the pavement and do so.

I hope people understand what I'm trying to say here...

Exactly. Having sympathy for someone and being able to tell them that they were being a dumbass aren't exclusive.

I see the titular sentence written on these here board semi-regularly. Every time I read something along those lines I can't help but feel that total blamelessness shouldn't be a pre-requisite for sympathy.

How do the good people of NSG react to the sentiments expressed in the title? In what context would it be right or wrong in your eyes?

It depends on whether I can, in Atticus Finch's phrasing, walk around in that person's shoes. If a person does something careless and bad things happen to them, I easily feel sympathy because, hey, I've done some pretty carelessly stupid things too, and it's easy to realize that what happened to them was never meant or anticipated; plus the shame involved in such situations is enough to correct the problem.

Some people, however, I can't fathom or understand at all. Child abusers, for instance; try as I might, I cannot understand the level of warping required to protect a child by crushing and dominating them (that's really the only way I can begin to understand it). As such, I have no sympathy for them, and I have to strain myself to the limit to show mercy to them.

Exactly. Having sympathy for someone and being able to tell them that they were being a dumbass aren't exclusive.

True. But then again, should everyone get the same amount of sympathy ?

Say, if some friends decided they would take loud, motorised vehicles into an avalanche risky zone, ignoring several dozen warning signs and knowing full well that they were breaking the law and then get hurt in the resulting avalanche - should they get the same amount of sympathy as the innocents that got hurt because of their action ? (which fortunately did not exist when this happened, but lets pretend they did.)

I read the Darwin awards and laugh. Stupidity doesn't deserve sympathy. Run of the mill incompetence or absent mindedness, sure, everyone has a bad day. Blinding willful idiocy is naught but comedy fodder.

True. But then again, should everyone get the same amount of sympathy ?

Say, if some friends decided they would take loud, motorised vehicles into an avalanche risky zone, ignoring several dozen warning signs and knowing full well that they were breaking the law and then get hurt in the resulting avalanche - should they get the same amount of sympathy as the innocents that got hurt because of their action ? (which fortunately did not exist when this happened, but lets pretend they did.)

No, they don't get the same amount of sympathy. Any sympathy I'd have for them would be washed away by the sympathy I'd have for the folks they injured.

Having sympathy isn't an absolute, a "you have it all or none at all" thing. You can still have a bit of sympathy for your friends, but that doesn't mean you can't also be angry at their stupidity.

I see the titular sentence written on these here board semi-regularly. Every time I read something along those lines I can't help but feel that total blamelessness shouldn't be a pre-requisite for sympathy.

How do the good people of NSG react to the sentiments expressed in the title? In what context would it be right or wrong in your eyes?

I think it depends on the degree of suffering and whether it is a person or not. I have sympathy for all animals that are suffering regardless of how they wound up in pain or in fear. Similarly I have sympathy for all of the children under age 13 and retarded adults regardless of what they did to wind up there. I have a modicum of sympathy for the mentally able 13+ year olds who wind up in a sad situation yet suffer no pain or disability as the result of their dumbassery.

As far as people go, I have no sympathy for people who do dumb things and wind up in sad situations yet are not suffering from severe physical pain or disability resulting from their dumbassery.

If somebody does something smart and or nice/virtuous and ends up suffering as a result I have sympathy for them.

I find myself frequently expressing that sentiment in the context of discussions about relationships.

For example:

My current pet peeve is when the "Other woman" is shocked--shocked!--to find out that the married man she's sleeping with has turned around and started cheating on her.

Dumbass. If he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you. If you want to help somebody cheat on their wife, that's between you and him. Just don't bother crying to me when it turns out that a man who'd cheat on his wife will also cheat on his girlfriend. I've got no sympathy for that level of stupid.

Depending on whom it was, I might actually comfort them and not belittle them for making such a mistake.
I'd have to agree with Laerod. I don't see how any of us could function if we were abandoned by friends and family every time we screwed up.
Now, if this is the, say, twelfth time the described scenario has happened? Then I may begin to get sick of it, and gently suggest he or she gets his life straightened out. But even then, I'd at least comfort the person.

I see the titular sentence written on these here board semi-regularly. Every time I read something along those lines I can't help but feel that total blamelessness shouldn't be a pre-requisite for sympathy.

How do the good people of NSG react to the sentiments expressed in the title? In what context would it be right or wrong in your eyes?

Well, I think that the statement is far too blanketed. For example, it could be that something was someone's fault, but they had no idea that was a possible consequence and thus should not be blamed.

But I tend to have sympathy for everyone regardless of whether it's their fault or not, though it being their fault and their knowing it could happen tends to lessen my sympathy. (But not eliminate it.)

I find myself frequently expressing that sentiment in the context of discussions about relationships.

For example:

My current pet peeve is when the "Other woman" is shocked--shocked!--to find out that the married man she's sleeping with has turned around and started cheating on her.

Dumbass. If he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you. If you want to help somebody cheat on their wife, that's between you and him. Just don't bother crying to me when it turns out that a man who'd cheat on his wife will also cheat on his girlfriend. I've got no sympathy for that level of stupid. Thats not true. But that is a discussion for another place.

I have no sympathy for those who die of drug overdoses. But I do for their families, usually.