NationStates Jolt Archive

Vampire slayer impales Milosevic to stop return
Late dictator has stake put through his heart
From Gabriel Ronay from Central Europe (SUNDAY HERALD)


The body of Slobodan Milosevic, the late president of Serbia and butcher of the Balkans, has suffered the indignity of having a wooden stake driven through the heart in a ritual "vampire exorcist" attack.

Days before the first anniversary of Milosevic's burial in his home town of Pozarevac, a young self-confessed "vampire hunter" and paid-up member of the local chapter of The Resistance, presumably to the Undead, dealt with the mortal remains of the late dictator in the time-honoured Balkan fashion.

The first anniversary of a man's death is a significant date in the Vampire Hunters' Almanac, apparently a well thumbed handbook in Serbia and other, even darker corners of the Balkans. Milosevic's significant anniversary date fell yesterday.

The timing of the action of vampire-hunter Miroslav Milosevic (no relation of the late dictator) was therefore fitting and proper as he wanted to pre-empt the return of the Undead Milosevic's evil spirit to this Earth. Miroslav struck at the "witching time of night when churchyards yawn" and the Undead, buried for less than a year, clamber out of their graves and return to haunt the living, according to local tradition.

Vampire infestation goes back a long way. Thanks to Dom Augustin Calmet, a dedicated vampire hunter, we have telling details of the Undead returning from the grave to haunt their kith and kin in 18th-century Serbia.

In his 1746 book the Benedictine priest from Lorraine recounts the eyewitness account of the Count de Cabreras, an Imperial officer and official "vampire investigator". In one incident in 1730, said "to contain all the features that characterised hundreds of similar cases", an alleged Undead preying on his family was examined. "The body of the Undead spectre was dug up and found to be in the same state as if it had been just dead, his blood just like a living person's". The Count de Cabreras ignored the superstitious local peasants' time-honoured treatment for revenants and ordered its head be cut off and the body burnt.

Driving stakes through the hearts of the Undead has a long tradition in Serbia, and Miroslav showed a firm grasp of the finer points of this living Balkan custom. He drove a metre-long hawthorn stake through the heart of the dead dictator. In dealing with the "vlkoslak", the local vampire variant, hawthorn is said to be the appropriate weapon. In neighbouring Dalmatia, tradition also demands that a "Kuzlak", or Undead, must be disposed of by "transfixing its heart with a hawthorn bow", according to the learned 18th century vampire expert Johannes Heinrich Zopfius as recorded in his 1733 book, Dissertatio de Vampyris Serviensibus.

Milosevic himself died in prison in The Hague, where he was tried by the United Nations for war crimes and crimes against humanity. He had drained the region's blood in his wars to create a Greater Serbia, but his malign ghost, as befits a revenant, is still haunting the peoples of the former Yugoslavia.

As the nostalgists of his Greater Serbia vision and the extremists of Milosevic's Socialist Party of Serbia had plans to mark yesterday's anniversary of their leader's death with a pilgrimage to his grave, the youthful vampire hunter of Pozarevac has shown notable political savvy. But then Miroslav is a former member of the Serbian student movement OTPOR, which hastened the political demise of the late dictator with protests and street demonstrations.

Miroslav freely informed police of his intended action. "I called the police on my mobile and let them know that I was in the Milosevic vault in the cemetery. They said be careful or Milosevic's hand might get you from the grave'.

"Entering the Milosevic vault and driving a hawthorn stake through the grave was my duty carried out in the name of the Pozarevac Resistance. I wanted to do it painlessly, without conflict with the people who would be at the grave on the day of the anniversary. After I drove the stake through the grave I presented myself at the police station and made a statement to the chief."

The late dictator's daughter-in-law, Milica Galici, has lodged a complaint over the "violation of Milosevic's grave". The complaint would be sent to the state prosecutor's office.

In spite of protests by Serbian nationalists, young Miroslav has achieved his aim: Milosevic is no longer an Undead "vlkoslak" able to haunt his home town.

Thanks to the hawthorn stake, Pozarevac is a safer place today. But this cannot be said about Serbia as a whole, which is still being haunted by Milosevic's nationalist spirit.




SORRY IF IT WAS DISCUSSED ALREADY, JUST PLEASE DELETE THREAD IN THAT CASE

SO. FRIGGING. COOL!!! :D

I am loving this, every part of it. I approve of it. Three thumbs up.

First of all, one can never be too cautious with questions of vampirism. The cavalier attitude people nowadays take towards the dead is truly shocking, and I, for one, am glad to see a young man so on top of the need to make sure that certain people really are as dead as we need them to be.

Second of all, I do not think I have ever seen or heard of a more beautiful and well executed piece of political theater. It is perfect, down to the tiniest detail, including the vampire killer having the same last name as the vampire. Lovely. Like Mozart. :) It would take a Slav to do this, it truly would -- or at least a veteran of the German Expressionist Theater, if that were still around. We can all learn from young Miroslav. This action should be included in university courses on political science under the heading "How to Express an Opinion 101."

:cool:

I for one welcome our new serbian vampire overlords

everybody knows Milošević fled to Argentina with the help of NATO to perform missions similar to Rambo in the Columbian jungles

he only killed the clone!

OMG That's so awesome.

I mean, wow. I gotta ponder this a bit before I can comment intelligently. I think that made my day.

Discussed already, but extremely awesome, so no worries :)

That is cool.
Purge the unclean, the unholy, the vampires of the dead!
But i think it was a bit undemocratic to kill the supposed vampire, i mean they have to live too, sure they eat other people but we can feed them politicians who have served 2 terms in office for a while. Oh wait that wouldn't work vampires can't bite other vampires.:)

I approve. :)

(Back when Ceaucescu was overthrown in Rumania, the mob of peasants that went into Bucharest to help enforce his removal actually had members carrying the "traditional" pitchforks and flaming torches...)

All politicians should have a stake through their heart. But Milosevic is hardly deserving of it in particular.
Erm... he led a campaign of ethnic cleansing, which is extremely dubious at the best of times.

All politicians should have a stake through their heart. But Milosevic is hardly deserving of it in particular. There are quite a few US politicians who are more vampiric than he, and they didn't even need to rise from the dead.

This action has earned a Vojvodina-Nihon's Official Doodlebug o' Approval. Not that it means anything in real life, but hey, maybe someday I'll get around to designing a cool-looking image to go with it.

Erm... he led a campaign of ethnic cleansing, which is extremely dubious at the best of times.
Yeah, seriously. If Vlad Tepes deserves the vampire treatment, then surely Milosevic does too. I consider this action perfectly appropriate.

Much as I loathe Milosevic, I don't condone mutilation of dead bodies. This is appalling.

Not only am I impressed with the gesture itself, but the actual execution (pun intended) was done to a superb degree. From the proper length of wood, to the proper type of wood, to the timing, it all makes me very confident that Slobodan will not be returning.

However, it would be prudent for somebody to pile up a big heap of ball bearngs just to be on the safe side.

Not only am I impressed with the gesture itself, but the actual execution (pun intended) was done to a superb degree. From the proper length of wood, to the proper type of wood, to the timing, it all makes me very confident that Slobodan will not be returning.

However, it would be prudent for somebody to pile up a big heap of ball bearngs just to be on the safe side.

Indeed. I also suggest stocking up on garlic and silver bullets, and finding an awful lot of lovelorn, chaste women. Just in case, you know.

Yeah, seriously. If Vlad Tepes deserves the vampire treatment, then surely Milosevic does too. I consider this action perfectly appropriate.You know that Tepes means "impaler" and not "impaled", right?

You know that Tepes means "impaler" and not "impaled", right?
He did get impaled (well... staked), though :p

He did get impaled (well... staked), though :pHe did? You mean his death is not disputed?

He did? You mean his death is not disputed?
Not by me, no :p

Not by me, no :pDamn reality and its liberal bias then, huh? :p

Erm... he led a campaign of ethnic cleansing, which is extremely dubious at the best of times.

Assuming that he actually did do this, he is at worst only on par with the Americans who deliberately bombed Serbia's civilian infrastructure and populace, the Albanians who still continue to terrorize Serbian Kosovars and burn their churches, the Croations who expulsed hundreds of thousands of Serbs from Krajina, or murderous Bosniaks like Nasar Oric, Radovan Karadzic, and Mladic.

*Murdering* hundreds of thousands is orders of magnitude worse than harrassing or expelling them. And the Bosniak murderers you mention were on Milosevic's payroll: the boss is usually considered worse than the henchman.

Why can't all meaningless acts of superstition and folklore be so cool? :(

Why can't all meaningless acts of superstition and folklore be so cool? :(

Oh i wouldn't count that as meaningless, it was great entertainment.
In fact it gives this thread it's whole meaning and purpose, in a sense.
But i see what you mean my favourite is Jesus turning Water to wine, he'd be a good guy for a party, i wonder if he can change potatoes to Vodka?

Assuming that he actually did do this, he is at worst only on par with the Americans who deliberately bombed Serbia's civilian infrastructure and populace, the Albanians who still continue to terrorize Serbian Kosovars and burn their churches, the Croations who expulsed hundreds of thousands of Serbs from Krajina, or murderous Bosniaks like Nasar Oric, Radovan Karadzic, and Mladic.
...

Yes. All of those are BAD THINGS.

"Entering the Milosevic vault and driving a hawthorn stake through the grave was my duty carried out in the name of the Pozarevac Resistance. I wanted to do it painlessly, without conflict with the people who would be at the grave on the day of the anniversary. After I drove the stake through the grave I presented myself at the police station and made a statement to the chief."

The late dictator's daughter-in-law, Milica Galici, has lodged a complaint over the "violation of Milosevic's grave". The complaint would be sent to the state prosecutor's office.

In spite of protests by Serbian nationalists, young Miroslav has achieved his aim: Milosevic is no longer an Undead "vlkoslak" able to haunt his home town.

Thanks to the hawthorn stake, Pozarevac is a safer place today. But this cannot be said about Serbia as a whole, which is still being haunted by Milosevic's nationalist spirit.

They actually thought that he was going to come back? Pfft. I thought my grandmother was superstitious but this is just ridiculous.

Vampire slayer impales Milosevic to stop return
Late dictator has stake put through his heart...

The body of Slobodan Milosevic, the late president of Serbia and butcher of the Balkans, has suffered the indignity of having a wooden stake driven through the heart in a ritual "vampire exorcist" attack.here is a picture of the vampire:

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/01_04/GothRP2201_468x665.jpg
reportedly -as part of the ritual- the vampire told his Dog to eat Milisevic.. before going for is heart :D

*Murdering* hundreds of thousands is orders of magnitude worse than harrassing or expelling them. And the Bosniak murderers you mention were on Milosevic's payroll: the boss is usually considered worse than the henchman.

These evil people killed thousands upon thousands of Serbs. And Nasar Oric and the others I mentioned were Muslim Bosniaks who were determined to kill as many Serbs as possible; unless you're seriously implying that Milosevic paid them to kill his own people, then my point still stands that even if one assumes that everything negative said about him is true, then he is still just on par with everyone else in the Balkans.

...

Yes. All of those are BAD THINGS.

Bad things that the American Federal Government either did, aided, or tacitly approved of. So much for its moral high ground.

Nasar Oric and the others I mentioned were Muslim Bosniaks who were determined to kill as many Serbs as possible

I do not know "Oric" but the others you mentioned were "Radovan Karadzic, and Mladic" who were SERBS determined to kill as many MUSLIM BOSNIAKS as possible.
Milosevic was orders of magnitude worse than anyone else in the Balkans.

Bad things that the American Federal Government either did, aided, or tacitly approved of. So much for its moral high ground.

Well it's a good thing that it's the United Nations that's conducting the tribunal, and not a United States court, eh?

Also Radovan Karadzic and Mladic where most definitely Bosnian-Serb, and where most definitely Milosevic's subordinates, both answerable to him.

I do not know "Oric" but the others you mentioned were "Radovan Karadzic, and Mladic" who were SERBS determined to kill as many MUSLIM BOSNIAKS as possible.
Milosevic was orders of magnitude worse than anyone else in the Balkans.

All war criminals are all held in equal contempt by me. There isn't really any constructive point in trying to say which one of the butchers of former Yugoslavia was worse, it just deepens the divide in the Balkans.

Bad things that the American Federal Government either did, aided, or tacitly approved of. So much for its moral high ground.
Aye, aye. As much as I love to bash the US (err sometimes I do), Milosovic was worse than them. I don't think that Srebrenica can be forgiven, nor can any other war crimes.

You know that Tepes means "impaler" and not "impaled", right?
What goes around, comes around.

Assuming that he actually did do this, he is at worst only on par with the Americans who deliberately bombed Serbia's civilian infrastructure and populace, the Albanians who still continue to terrorize Serbian Kosovars and burn their churches, the Croations who expulsed hundreds of thousands of Serbs from Krajina, or murderous Bosniaks like Nasar Oric, Radovan Karadzic, and Mladic.
*Runs to lumber yard and hardware store* We need more stakes! Once these people are dead, we need them to stay that way.

They actually thought that he was going to come back? Pfft. I thought my grandmother was superstitious but this is just ridiculous.
I think it was a thing called "commentary." That's why I praised it as "political theater." It's also why I said it would take a Slav, if not a German Expressionist, to pull this off. Westerners have no appreciation of drama anymore.

I do not know "Oric" but the others you mentioned were "Radovan Karadzic, and Mladic" who were SERBS determined to kill as many MUSLIM BOSNIAKS as possible.
Milosevic was orders of magnitude worse than anyone else in the Balkans.

Nasar Oric was a Muslim murderer who only went to jail for two years, and came home to his rather jubilant people.

(I will admit I wasn't paying attention when I said Karadzic and Mladic, though. But it should be noted that the World Court said Serbia wasn't directly responsible for the atrocities that the Bosniak Serbs committed.)

In actual fact, though, the reason why the war happened in the first place was because the Federal government appealled to the greed of Bosniak leaders to renounce the Lisbon Accords that would have allowed for a prevention of the war. And seeing as how they also are the ones that armed and trained the various non-Serb murderers in that region, and gave at the very least their tacit support to the various murderous repressions of Serbs all over the Balkans (which there has been a convenient media blackout on- hardly anyone knows how badly they treat the Serb minority in the Fed's protectorate of Kosovo, for instance), the Feds and their allies are far more responsible for the suffering in that region than Milosevic.

Well it's a good thing that it's the United Nations that's conducting the tribunal, and not a United States court, eh?

Not really. They are still under the control of the same elites.

Aye, aye. As much as I love to bash the US (err sometimes I do), Milosovic was worse than them. I don't think that Srebrenica can be forgiven, nor can any other war crimes.

The Federal Government and its compatriots are the greatest murderers. Only through its training and supplying and political support has the Balkans been so drastically destabilized and coated in blood.

(I will admit I wasn't paying attention when I said Karadzic and Mladic, though. ...)
You wasn't paying attention? You showed quite clearly your ignorance on the subject. These people were rather important figures in the whole Balkan tragedy.

I'd approve of this action.

-snip-

It still stands that there were plenty of people that were at least as bloodthirsty on the other side of Milosevic whose acts I have quite clearly elaborated upon. I am not the subject of the debate.

Awesome.

It still stands that there were plenty of people that were at least as bloodthirsty on the other side of Milosevic whose acts I have quite clearly elaborated upon. I am not the subject of the debate.
No. Milosevic was orders of magnitude above everyone else. It would be like saying that in Rwanda, the Tutsis killed just as many Hutus as the Hutus killed Tutsis; somebody who knew nothing about the case might say that, but it is not remotely true.

Eastern Europe is weird. :p Gotta love vampires, though. I've heard some stories about the "brukolaki" around those parts that sounded pretty convincing, come to think of it. Maybe there really was a good reason to stake the guy. :eek:

I just hope that Southern Slavs are NOT that superstitious. I think that "vampire hunters" just wanted to get their revenge, but Milosevic died already, so they had to use his coffin. By the way, did they impaled coffins of Djindic and Stojkovic and Tito (and many more) too? I do not think so. I can say that if such action was taken between Western Slavs (I am one of them too) then it would not be act of folk tradition but act of sheer stupidity. (not all Slavs pierce coffins or corpses like we did in fifth century AD :D:D:D)

I approve. :)

(Back when Ceaucescu was overthrown in Rumania, the mob of peasants that went into Bucharest to help enforce his removal actually had members carrying the "traditional" pitchforks and flaming torches...)

It's good to see that ancient cultural activities are being preserved & are still enjoyed by the locals today. :p

Assuming that he actually did do this, he is at worst only on par with the Americans who deliberately bombed Serbia's civilian infrastructure and populace, the Albanians who still continue to terrorize Serbian Kosovars and burn their churches, the Croations who expulsed hundreds of thousands of Serbs from Krajina, or murderous Bosniaks like Nasar Oric, Radovan Karadzic, and Mladic.

These evil people killed thousands upon thousands of Serbs. And Nasar Oric and the others I mentioned were Muslim Bosniaks who were determined to kill as many Serbs as possible; unless you're seriously implying that Milosevic paid them to kill his own people, then my point still stands that even if one assumes that everything negative said about him is true, then he is still just on par with everyone else in the Balkans.

Evidence for your claims can be found where?

It is not actually hard to find info on Kosovar Albanians being nasty to Serbs (even without looking it up, I would be surprised if there weren't some instance of Serbs getting killed rather than just harrassed), and the expulsion by Croatia of the Krajina Serbs was well-covered at the time (just not very well remembered nowadays because of the mass slaughters that the Serb side perpetrated afterward), and I wouldn't doubt that a search for "Nasar Oric" would confirm that the Bosniak side also had some atrocious commanders. All I am saying is that Milosevic piled up a truly huge pile of corpses, not to be compared with any of the other players, and that it takes some willful ignorance to pretend otherwise.