NationStates Jolt Archive

Why. . .

http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e142/leftyflecken/LOLPrez/owned.jpg

Mine!

Is anyone here a doctor/ nurse or other medical professional? If so I'd like to TG you. Now to avoid spam; How do you about medical professionals and medicine in General?

Why. . .

He's too cheap to go to a doctor and is going to slip in a sexual-health question somewhere in this thread, hoping the medical people here will diagnose him on the spot.

If you're doing this to seek medical advice, as opposed to a general question about something... yeah, not such a good idea. But I have replied to your TG.

I suggest that if you're looking for a diagnosis, see a flesh and blood doctor, or at the very least check WebMD. You have no idea who'll tell you what.

I have a nurse's uniform and a pocket watch, if that's what you're thinking of ...

I guess you should also know, I'm a bloke and I have a beard ...

I guess you should also know, I'm a bloke and I have a beard ...

And that would bar someone from being a nurse or affect their ability to be because...?

I suggest that if you're looking for a diagnosis, see a flesh and blood doctor, or at the very least check WebMD. You have no idea who'll tell you what.

Very true. Online doctors will tell you nothing, beyond "see a doctor." It's the liability, I'm guessing. Even WebMD is useless.

And that would bar someone from being a nurse or affect their ability to be because...?

a beard might be flammable?

And that would bar someone from being a nurse or affect their ability to be because...?

Fuck, Fass, it's a fucking joke!

Honestly, you used to be fun. Take a holiday or something. :(

And that would bar someone from being a nurse or affect their ability to be because...?

It might if the OP were looking for the standard version of the naughty nurse fantasy the first part of Nobel Hobos' post was playing to. ;)

a beard might be flammable?

The welding equipment's out, I suppose.

Fuck, Fass, it's a fucking joke!

What's the joke part of it?

Honestly, you used to be fun.

I should vehemently dispute that.

Take a holiday or something. :(

No, since there are these things we call "rent" and "bills". Perhaps you've heard of them.

WebMD told me I had encephalitis once, so I went to wrongdiagnosis.com and they said said that I might have encephalitis or also I could have a headache. *nod*

Well, at least they took a stab at it. :p WebMd, the Cleveland Clinic, and a couple other sites basically told me "see a doctor," when I was looking for advice a couple years ago.

Very true. Online doctors will tell you nothing, beyond "see a doctor." It's the liability, I'm guessing. Even WebMD is useless.

WebMD told me I had encephalitis once, so I went to wrongdiagnosis.com and they said said that I might have encephalitis or also I could have a headache. *nod*

Well, at least they took a stab at it. :p WebMd, the Cleveland Clinic, and a couple other sites basically told me "see a doctor," when I was looking for advice a couple years ago.

yeah, if you have something major wrong with you or something that seems emergent they usually will

where is your pain?

in my arm

are you bleeding?

profusely

where is your hand?

in the other room

WebMD recommends you see a doctor.

wrongdiagnosis is so fun, you can put in a random symptom and it will tell you all kinds of scary things that might be wrong with you.....put in "tired" and watch! you might even have brain cancer!

It might if the OP were looking for the standard version of the naughty nurse fantasy the first part of Nobel Hobos' post was playing to. ;)

The only naughty nurses are the ones who are strictly gay for pay.

Well, at least they took a stab at it. :p WebMd, the Cleveland Clinic, and a couple other sites basically told me "see a doctor," when I was looking for advice a couple years ago.

when my sister noticed that her husband had stopped sleeping lying down she put a list of his symptoms into some website--maybe webmd. it said he probably had congestive heart failure.

which he did.

she made him go to the hospital that day and he ended up needing treatment with a heart specialist.

when my sister noticed that her husband had stopped sleeping lying down she put a list of his symptoms into some website--maybe webmd. it said he probably had congestive heart failure.

So, uhm... how did he sleep? Standing up?

People are so weird in how they adapt to illness. "I can't sleep lying down because I can't breathe and I start coughing up liquid, and my legs are conspicuously swollen during the day... I guess I'll just not sleep lying down."

So, uhm... how did he sleep? Standing up?

People are so weird in how they adapt to illness. "I can't sleep lying down because I can't breathe and I start coughing up liquid, and my legs are conspicuously swollen during the day... I guess I'll just not sleep lying down."

sitting up mostly. it was when she found him in the middle of the night sitting on the edge of the bed barely able to breathe that she realized that he was in trouble and had been hiding his symptoms.

he turned out to have had a heart attack some time in the past and at that time his heart was not beating correctly. he probably should have been dead already. they ended up stabilizing him then after a while zapped his heart into a normal rhythm.

So, uhm... how did he sleep? Standing up?

People are so weird in how they adapt to illness. "I can't sleep lying down because I can't breathe and I start coughing up liquid, and my legs are conspicuously swollen during the day... I guess I'll just not sleep lying down."

As you are well aware of this very obvious symptom, denial. To many people deny that they are having symptoms and needlessly cuts short their lives in the extreme cases.

when my sister noticed that her husband had stopped sleeping lying down she put a list of his symptoms into some website--maybe webmd. it said he probably had congestive heart failure.

which he did.

she made him go to the hospital that day and he ended up needing treatment with a heart specialist.


WebMD does serve a purpose. I have looked up a few things on there myself that prompted me to go and get checked out.

when my sister noticed that her husband had stopped sleeping lying down she put a list of his symptoms into some website--maybe webmd. it said he probably had congestive heart failure.

which he did.

she made him go to the hospital that day and he ended up needing treatment with a heart specialist.

I never said they *couldn't* get one right; they may have, if what you say is true (although I doubt they answered with any kind of certainty, or used the word "probably"). I wouldn't trust them based on my own experience, that's all.

sitting up mostly. it was when she found him in the middle of the night sitting on the edge of the bed barely able to breathe that she realized that he was in trouble and had been hiding his symptoms.

Right. In such a situation, one shouldn't need a website to tell one to go to the hospital... just saying.

he turned out to have had a heart attack some time in the past and at that time his heart was not beating correctly. he probably should have been dead already. they ended up stabilizing him then after a while zapped his heart into a normal rhythm.

So, he had an arrhythmia he ignored as well and probably preceding bouts of angina...

As you are well aware of this very obvious symptom, denial. To many people deny that they are having symptoms and needlessly cuts short their lives in the extreme cases.

... which leads me to believe that websites aren't gonna be a help for denial.

WebMD does serve a purpose. I have looked up a few things on there myself that prompted me to go and get checked out.

it probably saved my youngest's life, she was near dead when I finally left the hospital for a shower and put her symptoms in, came back and asked the doctors to test her for something and they said "oh, that's really rare", but she had it, and is now very healthy......although very strange.

I have a nurse's uniform and a pocket watch, if that's what you're thinking of ...

I guess you should also know, I'm a bloke and I have a beard ...
My brother is a "bloke with a beard" and it does not stop him from being a Nurse

it probably saved my youngest's life, she was near dead when I finally left the hospital for a shower and put her symptoms in, came back and asked the doctors to test her for something and they said "oh, that's really rare", but she had it, and is now very healthy......although very strange.

Damn, glad to hear it worked out. I guess the net is good for something. ;)

My brother is a "bloke with a beard" and it does not stop him from being a Nurse

Probably making a decent living too.

Damn, glad to hear it worked out. I guess the net is good for something. ;)

mostly it's good for wasting my time and giving me panic attacks.

the main problem is the kid came in with an acute problem and after they sent her home she was still sick, after a month of her getting sicker, they didn't really think there was something wrong with her, they accused me of malingering and maybe Münchhausen's by proxy, but nope, she was sick....really sick, you would think you wouldn't have to convince doctors that a one year old should NOT weigh less than her birth weight, but apparently, I am just enough of a drama queen for people to wholly discount my story......besides she was "just constipated" right? *still bitter*

mostly it's good for wasting my time and giving me panic attacks.

the main problem is the kid came in with an acute problem and after they sent her home she was still sick, after a month of her getting sicker, they didn't really think there was something wrong with her, they accused me of malingering and maybe Münchhausen's by proxy, but nope, she was sick....really sick, you would think you wouldn't have to convince doctors that a one year old should NOT weigh less than her birth weight, but apparently, I am just enough of a drama queen for people to wholly discount my story......besides she was "just constipated" right? *still bitter*

Lower than birth weight... is this the one with the celiac sprue? That should've been one of their primary differentials.

Probably making a decent living too.

Does alright just got his RN and going for either Nurse Practitioner or Anesthetics right now

Though he had contemplated using the 4 year as a pre-med will have to see ... he likes the nursing field (he has worked as an CNA for 6 years now and likes it)

mostly it's good for wasting my time and giving me panic attacks.

the main problem is the kid came in with an acute problem and after they sent her home she was still sick, after a month of her getting sicker, they didn't really think there was something wrong with her, they accused me of malingering and maybe Münchhausen's by proxy, but nope, she was sick....really sick, you would think you wouldn't have to convince doctors that a one year old should NOT weigh less than her birth weight, but apparently, I am just enough of a drama queen for people to wholly discount my story......besides she was "just constipated" right? *still bitter*

My little brother is a doctor and he fills me in on all sorts of stories. I didn't realize how much the diagnosis can differ from doctor to doctor. Some of his stories scared me really. So now if I were to ever question a diagnosis I will get a second or third opinion if need be.

I should vehemently dispute that.

Really? So when you were making sexual innuendos in countless threads, you really were doing it for sexual gratification? There wasn't even a veneer of fun to it?

You take sex that seriously? You poor sod.

What's the joke part of it?

That's the thing about jokes, if you have to explain them, they aren't funny.

Knowing I'm going to look self-obsessed, pedantic and not-funny ... I will explain the joke to you.

The first three posts (including yours and Kat's) clearly established that asking for medical advice on NSG is NOT ON. It's really irresponsible to even proceed seriously with the thread. So I thought it might be time to make a joke.

Now, what reasons might Soviestan have for asking to hear from nurses? I can think of three:

Sovie is thinking of a career in nursing, and wants advice on that.
Sovie wants medical advice. As several have said, this ain't the place.
Sovie is feeling a bit sexy, and has a bit of a fetish for nurses.


Now, I am not now, nor have I ever been, a nurse, nursing assistant or any related occupation. That pretty much disqualifies me from making jokes about the nursing profession.

I offered myself, aging, ill-washed, bearded and wildly un-sexy ... in my ridiculously tight-fitting nurse's dress and equipped with a rather unsanitary pocket watch. That's funny, if your image of me is any way accurate to real life.

Meh, not funny. I swear, a single photograph would make it funny, but there is SOME limit to how far I am prepared to humiliate myself to make a point.

Lower than birth weight... is this the one with the celiac sprue? That should've been one of their primary differentials.

yeah, both of them have celiac, but she had an intusseption as the acute issue, they had to cut out part of her small bowel due to it, and her villi were atrophied, I didn't know what that meant then, but now I know that should have been a big fucking clue.

she went from 22lbs at 9 months to 7lbs at 12 months, when she lost the first 8 I had her in the hospital for the intusseption and they said "she's within normal weight" and sent her home, I took her to another ER and told them I was 100% sure she was obstructed and they said "you aren't a doctor" and told me kids "fluctuate" so I called a cab and took her to another hospital who sent her home after doing an ultrasound on her transverse colon and said she wasn't obstructed....3 weeks and 17 ER visits later, they finally found the obstruction, threatened to call the police on me for "not seeking medical treatment" :rolleyes:

yeah, both of them have celiac, but she had an intusseption as the acute issue, they had to cut out part of her small bowel due to it, and her villi were atrophied, I didn't know what that meant then, but now I know that should have been a big fucking clue.

Well, duh! :rolleyes: That's fucking egregious malpractice, right there. Then again, Sweden has a lot of celiacs, so maybe I'm biased through experience and training...

she went from 22lbs at 9 months to 7lbs at 12 months, when she lost the first 8 I had her in the hospital for the intusseption and they said "she's within normal weight" and sent her home, I took her to another ER and told them I was 100% sure she was obstructed and they said "you aren't a doctor" and told me kids "fluctuate" so I called a cab and took her to another hospital who sent her home after doing an ultrasound on her transverse colon and said she wasn't obstructed....3 weeks and 17 ER visits later, they finally found the obstruction, threatened to call the police on me for "not seeking medical treatment" :rolleyes:

Outrageous! Simply outrageous.

Really? So when you were making sexual innuendos in countless threads, you really were doing it for sexual gratification?

I don't get sexual gratification from flirting. I just flirt. That's what I do.

You take sex that seriously? You poor sod.

You speaking of taking things too seriously, now there's a joke.

That's the thing about jokes, if you have to explain them, they aren't funny.

That should've been a clue to you.

--snip--
Meh, not funny. I swear, a single photograph would make it funny, but there is SOME limit to how far I am prepared to humiliate myself to make a point.

Damn, and I was *this close* to getting you to do it.

Good. I can see from reading the thread that some of you really do know stuff about medicine.

I would like to know what Soviestan's reason for starting the thread is, though. There's something rather odiously elitist about an long-term player apparently violating the guidelines (for lack of any other input, I assume the purpose was to get medical advice), asking for private messages, and then just ... not posting again??

As one of the noobier posters in the thread so far, I just have to ask: wtf?

EDIT: Correction: the undisputed Noob of all Noobs in this here thread. I hereby invoke KWFCTFU on your elitist asses! Let them all post!
Kid With First Computer Typing First URL, of course!

I would like to know what Soviestan's reason for starting the thread is, though.

Soviestan has every right not to share details publicly and you should respect that. Just because (s)he asked to be diverted to people doesn't mean (s)he's decided to share something as private as a health issue.

Soviestan has every right not to share details publicly and you should respect that. Just because (s)he asked to be diverted to people doesn't mean (s)he's decided to share something as private as a health issue.

thank you, well said. And you have another TG

edit:and another one

Is anyone here a doctor/ nurse or other medical professional?
Only if you're talking about certain types of examinations, massages, bathing practices and inseminations.
As far as a sympathetic ear, notsomuch.