NationStates Jolt Archive

It's always killing and raping. Why doesn't somebody ever tie people up, tickle them into unconsciousness and then leave them in carefully arranged poses along with taunting letters to the police?


Well, looks like I thought of my new hobby. :D

I have a friend who might do that :)

It's underreported because of a few things. The shame of the victims ("I laughed, maybe I wanted to be tickled"), impotence of the police force ("How do you profile a tickler? Are we to make feathers illegal?"), reporters being afraid of making themselves a target of tickling, and the sheer panic that would happen to the public if they knew they could be subject to sudden tickling, from paranoid bundling to people tying themselves to trees with a pile of feathers at their feet in the hopes of gaining fame and tickles from these deviants.

It's underreported because of a few things. The shame of the victims ("I laughed, maybe I wanted to be tickled"), impotence of the police force ("How do you profile a tickler? Are we to make feathers illegal?"), reporters being afraid of making themselves a target of tickling, and the sheer panic that would happen to the public if they knew they could be subject to sudden tickling, from paranoid bundling to people tying themselves to trees with a pile of feathers at their feet in the hopes of gaining fame and tickles from these deviants.

I smell a sitcom a-brewin'! :)

It's always killing and raping. Why doesn't somebody ever tie people up, tickle them into unconsciousness and then leave them in carefully arranged poses along with taunting letters to the police?


Well, looks like I thought of my new hobby. :D

That would be hilariously awesome. I'd say do it, but I would be banned for promoting illegal activities.

Here's a good answer: Few people are immune to being killed, but there are a couple that are immune to being tickled.

Here's a good answer: Few people are immune to being killed, but there are a couple that are immune to being tickled.

They will be marked for ease of identification by future serial ticklers. *nod*

They will be marked for ease of identification by future serial ticklers. *nod*

Just as a side note, it'd be great if people would take our word for it that we aren't ticklish instead of continuing to poke us harder and harder..."See, you're twitching!" "Yeah, you just jabbed your finger between my ribs, jackass!"

They will be marked for ease of identification by future serial ticklers. *nod*Oh, noes. That just burned an image of a trussed and gagged person with a tag on their ear into my mind... DX

Because there are only Ninja Ticklers. They will be one of the last things you hear...before you burst into a fit of giggling.

It's always killing and raping. Why doesn't somebody ever tie people up, tickle them into unconsciousness and then leave them in carefully arranged poses along with taunting letters to the police?


Well, looks like I thought of my new hobby. :D

"Next on the news. a new law was passed requiring anyone owning any object containing feathers be offically registered and licenced. this after a wave of Serial Ticklings that have left many people in stitches. anyone caught with an unregistered feather duster or boa could face stiff penalties, up to and including time on the Comfy Chair and torments with the soft cushions. the ACLU is currently working to protest the new law..."

Just as a side note, it'd be great if people would take our word for it that we aren't ticklish instead of continuing to poke us harder and harder..."See, you're twitching!" "Yeah, you just jabbed your finger between my ribs, jackass!"

Unfortunately, many people who are very ticklish claim to not be to avoid being tickled. Their word cannot be trusted. However, a proper serial tickler will be a bit more subtle and insidious about properly testing ticklishness than simply prodding armpits. *nod*

Oh, noes. That just burned an image of a trussed and gagged person with a tag on their ear into my mind... DX

You're welcome. :)

I am a serial tickler, apparently news stations just have better stories and ignore me.:(

Because there are only Ninja Ticklers. They will be one of the last things you hear...before you burst into a fit of giggling.

Scary. :)

That would be hilariously awesome. I'd say do it, but I would be banned for promoting illegal activities.

Tickling isn't illegal afaik.

True, but tying someone up who doesn't want to be and holding him or her for several hours while forcing them to laugh themselves senseless until they pass out is. At least that's what my wife tells me. *nod*

hmmm, could be, those pesky fun-spoiling lawmakers :(

Tickling isn't illegal afaik.

True, but tying someone up who doesn't want to be and holding him or her for several hours while forcing them to laugh themselves senseless until they pass out is. At least that's what my wife tells me. *nod*

It's because they haven't caught me yet!:D Be afraid... be VERY afraid...:p

A solution to the problem of the non-ticklish: We become the serial ticklers.*evil grin*

I would do it, being an immune one, but first I must seek out the training of a master tickler to perfect my art.

It's always killing and raping. Why doesn't somebody ever tie people up, tickle them into unconsciousness and then leave them in carefully arranged poses along with taunting letters to the police?


Well, looks like I thought of my new hobby. :D

Just because it doesn't get reported doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Imagine being the person who goes to the police to report that you've been kidnapped and tickled.

Add to that the fact that once you're done tickling someone, you can come back and tickle them again later. You don't have to keep finding new victims. You can even find willing ones.

And even a cannibal can find willing victims, but unfortunatly for them, you can only mutilate, sodomize, kill, and eat a person once. At least, all at once.

I need a serial tickler in my county.

In a sense I suppose I'm a serial tickler. Just ask any boyfriend I've ever had.

I was once told a great way of torturing someone who's ticklish:

Whilst out at the beach, bury them (preferably with their consent, a dare or something) standing up quite deep so they can't move very well. Then dig a small tunnel down towards a spot of their body of your choosing, and proceed to tickle them. :D

Once again, those wacky Japanese and their love of surreal, offbeat game shows beat you to it:

http://www.glumbert.com/media/tickle

Because there are only Ninja Ticklers. They will be one of the last things you hear...before you burst into a fit of giggling.
Then we'll make a show... "Teenage Mutant Ninja Ticklers"

It's always killing and raping. Why doesn't somebody ever tie people up, tickle them into unconsciousness and then leave them in carefully arranged poses along with taunting letters to the police?


Well, looks like I thought of my new hobby. :D
I am not sure if they have any serial numbers but here are some Serious French Ticklers:

http://www.freakrings.com/images_products/63_big.jpg

It's always killing and raping. Why doesn't somebody ever tie people up, tickle them into unconsciousness and then leave them in carefully arranged poses along with taunting letters to the police?


Well, looks like I thought of my new hobby. :D

You have never heard of the Naked Tickler?

I'll tell the story...

There was a guy who went around for 5 years or so, absolutely naked. He'd sneak into people's houses and first check their fridge for milk. If they didn't have any milk, he would leave. If they did have milk, he would take a piss in it. After pissing in the milk, he would then go and tickle the sleeping people, and then run like hell.

He went around for 5 years before getting caught!

It's always killing and raping. Why doesn't somebody ever tie people up, tickle them into unconsciousness and then leave them in carefully arranged poses along with taunting letters to the police?


Well, looks like I thought of my new hobby. :D

I've tried tickling my cereal, but all it did was mock me.

You have never heard of the Naked Tickler?

I'll tell the story...

There was a guy who went around for 5 years or so, absolutely naked. He'd sneak into people's houses and first check their fridge for milk. If they didn't have any milk, he would leave. If they did have milk, he would take a piss in it. After pissing in the milk, he would then go and tickle the sleeping people, and then run like hell.

He went around for 5 years before getting caught!

I looked him up on Wikipedia. The closest thing was some composer guy.

I looked him up on Wikipedia. The closest thing was some composer guy.

His name was Thomas Blacine. *nod*

Serial tickler strikes again in Florida
Chicago Sun-Times, Jul 25, 2005
NEW SMYRNA BEACH, Fla. -- Police are on the lookout for the naked tickler.

Investigators said they believe one man could be responsible for a series of bizarre break-ins in which a naked man enters victims' rooms while they are sleeping and tries to tickle their feet.

The naked tickler struck again in New Smyrna Beach over the weekend.

Investigators have been working on five similar, unsolved cases since 2001. Most of the victims are women over age 60, said police Cmdr. Wade Kirby.

Kirby said no arrests have yet been made because they don't have a lot to go on.

New Smyrna Beach is 44 miles northeast of Orlando.

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qn4155/is_20050725/ai_n14914793

I made search on the Chicago Sun-Times for the article but I came up with nothing.

Unfortunately, many people who are very ticklish claim to not be to avoid being tickled. Their word cannot be trusted. However, a proper serial tickler will be a bit more subtle and insidious about properly testing ticklishness than simply prodding armpits. *nod*

And some people are ticklish in odd places. My daughter's underarms and the bottoms of her feet are impervious to tickling, but if you tickle her knees and ankles she starts squealing and kicking - great fun.

You'd best have an immunity to urine -- some ticklees defend themselves with it.

Then we'll make a show... "Teenage Mutant Ninja Ticklers"

Will they be French?

You'd best have an immunity to urine -- some ticklees defend themselves with it.

I do. :(

It's always killing and raping. Why doesn't somebody ever tie people up, tickle them into unconsciousness and then leave them in carefully arranged poses along with taunting letters to the police?


Well, looks like I thought of my new hobby. :D
That is a DAMNED good question.
I'm gonna look over my resume ... i'm pretty sure i've got legit experience in such matters as well.
*copycat*

Once again, those wacky Japanese and their love of surreal, offbeat game shows beat you to it:

http://www.glumbert.com/media/tickle

wow.... this was disturbing. I think I've seen those guys doing weird German porn. And for the record people don't report it because it keep forgetting to untie them... gotta work on that. ;)

It's always killing and raping. Why doesn't somebody ever tie people up, tickle them into unconsciousness and then leave them in carefully arranged poses along with taunting letters to the police?


Well, looks like I thought of my new hobby. :D

Have you met my BF? He does that regularly...

Tickling isn't illegal afaik.

But it should be. :mad:

Tickling is horrible and it causes a lot of pain. It's evil. :(

But it should be. :mad:

Tickling is horrible and it causes a lot of pain. It's evil. :(
Pain? Who has been tickling you enough to hurt?

Pain? Who has been tickling you enough to hurt?

Pretty much all human contact is very painful. Tickling makes you completely vulnerable and you can't do much to defend yourself, and it hurts and makes you feel powerless. :(

Pretty much all human contact is very painful. Tickling makes you completely vulnerable and you can't do much to defend yourself, and it hurts and makes you feel powerless. :(

*Grabs a feather and walks menacingly towards Chandelier*

Mwuahaha...

*Grabs a feather and walks menacingly towards Chandelier*

Mwuahaha...

Get away from me, evil person! :mad: *drops a chandelier onto Soleichunn*

Get away from me, evil person! :mad: *drops a chandelier onto Soleichunn*

Your chandelier based technology has no effect on me! *Notices legs are trapped under a pile of glass and metal*

Damn!

Your chandelier based technology has no effect on me! *Notices legs are trapped under a pile of glass and metal*

Damn!

*disappears through secret passageways before anyone else notices*

*disappears through secret passageways before anyone else notices*

Now what can I do? I'd best do something until Chandelier comes back and I can enact my revenge...

*Tries to telekinetically tickle LG*

Now what can I do? I'd best do something until Chandelier comes back and I can enact my revenge...

*Tries to telekinetically tickle LG*

Revenge? I was just defending myself from you being evil and trying to tickle me...

Revenge? I was just defending myself from you being evil and trying to tickle me...

You win this time, but I'll be back!

Perhaps after sleeping for a bit...

Revenge? I was just defending myself from you being evil and trying to tickle me...

Huh???
What's evil about tickling? Ok, it can be annoying, but most of the time it's just fun

Huh???
What's evil about tickling? Ok, it can be annoying, but most of the time it's just fun

No, it's painful and leaves you defenseless while they torment you because they're evil power-hungry people

Huh???
What's evil about tickling? Ok, it can be annoying, but most of the time it's just fun

Moral absolutism is fun! :)

No, it's painful and leaves you defenseless while they torment you because they're evil power-hungry people

Is the key to world domination produced by tickling you?

No, it's painful and leaves you defenseless while they torment you because they're evil power-hungry people

Er... no it doesn't?
It tickles and can lead to a lot moe physical fun.

Moral absolutism is fun! :)

I can't think of any reason someone would tickle someone that wouldn't be evil.

The only reasons I can think of for why someone would want to tickle someone are to cause pain or to control them.

Is the key to world domination produced by tickling you?

No, but ticklers are evil and just want to control people, I guess. I don't know why else they would do something like that.

Er... no it doesn't?
It tickles and can lead to a lot moe physical fun.

But it hurts me when people tickle me!

I can't think of any reason someone would tickle someone that wouldn't be evil.

The only reasons I can think of for why someone would want to tickle someone are to cause pain or to control them.

There's a world of other reasons out there. My BF usually does it to get my attention. And to get me to lighten up when I'm down.

There's a world of other reasons out there. My BF usually does it to get my attention. And to get me to lighten up when I'm down.

I can't understand any good-intentioned reason why someone would do something to me that they know hurts me...I guess that would work if tickling somehow wasn't painful to someone...but I can't really understand that either. It hurts so much. :(

No, but ticklers are evil and just want to control people, I guess. I don't know why else they would do something like that.


Attention, fun, playing around, out of boredom, to get a reaction, to get someone to loosen up, sex... lots of reasons.


But it hurts me when people tickle me!

I'd suggest consulting a doctor.

There's a world of other reasons out there. My BF usually does it to get my attention. And to get me to lighten up when I'm down.

Do you tickle him so that he is up when before he was down? ;)

Attention, fun, playing around, out of boredom, to get a reaction, to get someone to loosen up, sex... lots of reasons.

Those might make sense in people who don't get hurt by tickling, I guess...

I'd suggest consulting a doctor.

Maybe, but it's not that important. No one who cares about me is going to tickle me.

I can't understand any good-intentioned reason why someone would do something to me that they know hurts me...I guess that would work if tickling somehow wasn't painful to someone...but I can't really understand that either. It hurts so much. :(

Does it hurt where you are tickled, pain when trying to breathe or a general pain?

Does it hurt where you are tickled, pain when trying to breathe or a general pain?

I can't really remember specifically, it's been a while since anyone successfully tickled me. I just remember that it was painful and I hated it.

Do you tickle him so that he is up when before he was down? ;)

There's only two places he's ticklish... ;)

Maybe, but it's not that important. No one who cares about me is going to tickle me.

Well, then don't complain. And don't call ticklers evil, cause they're not.

No, it's painful and leaves you defenseless while they torment you because they're evil power-hungry people

I can't think of any reason someone would tickle someone that wouldn't be evil.

The only reasons I can think of for why someone would want to tickle someone are to cause pain or to control them.

I can't understand any good-intentioned reason why someone would do something to me that they know hurts me...I guess that would work if tickling somehow wasn't painful to someone...but I can't really understand that either. It hurts so much. :(

This is um....this is slightly disturbing.

Well, then don't complain. And don't call ticklers evil, cause they're not.

But if someone tickled me they would be evil. Hopefully it won't ever happen again though. I hated it. :(

Sorry for being so weird. :(

This is um....this is slightly disturbing.

Sorry. Why?

Sorry. Why?

Despite the premises of this thread (which is a joke), tickling is almost always done for fun. No-one expects someone to hate them for tickling them, nor for them to experience pain from it. They're trying to be nice, not evil, and they would be offended if you labelled them as such.

Despite the premises of this thread (which is a joke), tickling is almost always done for fun. No-one expects someone to hate them for tickling them, nor for them to experience pain from it. They're trying to be nice, not evil, and they would be offended if you labelled them as such.

But if someone tickled me I would have to hate them, or at least I would never be able to trust them again. They may be trying to be nice but if they're intentionally causing me pain, well, someone could beat me up and claim they were just doing it for "fun", but that wouldn't make it okay.

Tickling seems like an assault and I don't see how that can be considered "fun".

But if someone tickled me I would have to hate them, or at least I would never be able to trust them again. They may be trying to be nice but if they're intentionally causing me pain, well, someone could beat me up and claim they were just doing it for "fun", but that wouldn't make it okay.

Tickling seems like an assault and I don't see how that can be considered "fun".

It depends how the receiver takes it. If you make it clear to them that you don't want them to do it and will distrust them for it, but they still do it, then you can be annoyed at them. If they don't know, there's not much you can do other than inform everyone. Though, they'll still find it odd, most people enjoy tickling and being tickled.

But if someone tickled me I would have to hate them, or at least I would never be able to trust them again. They may be trying to be nice but if they're intentionally causing me pain, well, someone could beat me up and claim they were just doing it for "fun", but that wouldn't make it okay.

Tickling seems like an assault and I don't see how that can be considered "fun".

this is the slightly disturbing part, that you would have such a strong and viceral reaction against it.

It depends how the receiver takes it. If you make it clear to them that you don't want them to do it and will distrust them for it, but they still do it, then you can be annoyed at them. If they don't know, there's not much you can do other than inform everyone. Though, they'll still find it odd, most people enjoy tickling and being tickled.

I will distrust them either way and they will never be able to be my friend, but if they don't know then I will probably forgive them. If they do know and tickle me anyway then I don't see why that wouldn't be evil...

this is the slightly disturbing part, that you would have such a strong and viceral reaction against it.

Oh. Why is that disturbing?

It's always killing and raping. Why doesn't somebody ever tie people up, tickle them into unconsciousness and then leave them in carefully arranged poses along with taunting letters to the police?


Well, looks like I thought of my new hobby. :D

Because this "tickling" you speak of is not painful. Surely you KNOW this, Lunatic Goofballs.

On second thought, perhaps you DON'T know this, seeing that part of your name consists of the word "Lunatic".

KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!

Sorry LG, but this one falls flat. Assault isn't cute or funny. It's not even a remotely creative idea.

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qn4155/is_20050725/ai_n14914793

Maybe it's because I've lived my life in a culture where I am constantly reminded of how I could be assaulted at any time. Maybe it's because I know what it's like to have somebody hold you down and touch you when you don't want them to. Maybe it's just because I'm a humorless bitch. Whatever the reason, I don't think this is remotely funny.

Because this "tickling" you speak of is not painful. Surely you KNOW this, Lunatic Goofballs.

On second thought, perhaps you DON'T know this, seeing that part of your name consists of the word "Lunatic".

KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!

Well, I have another name for the list. Do they make kryptonite feathers? :confused:

Sorry LG, but this one falls flat. Assault isn't cute or funny. It's not even a remotely creative idea.

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qn4155/is_20050725/ai_n14914793

Maybe it's because I've lived my life in a culture where I am constantly reminded of how I could be assaulted at any time. Maybe it's because I know what it's like to have somebody hold you down and touch you when you don't want them to. Maybe it's just because I'm a humorless bitch. Whatever the reason, I don't think this is remotely funny.

Apologies. My intention was to take an irreverent look at serial crime. In reality, I'd never do any such thing to someone who I didn't know could handle it. As the years go by, that circle of people gets smaller as my discretion becomes more defined. I am well aware of the criminality of such an attack. I've done things to good friends that would get me arrested, and they have done things to me that could have gotten them arrested. That's just the kind of people we are. I won't apologize for that. But I will apologize for making the inference that such a thing would be funny to do to strangers or even casual acquaintances.

I used to have a strange reoccurring nightmare were a guy who looked like a stereotypical axe-murderer would break into my house. I'd try to hide but he'd always find me then start tickling me until I woke up screaming.

Still sends a shiver down my spine.

Amy psychoanalysts in the forum?

It's always killing and raping. Why doesn't somebody ever tie people up, tickle them into unconsciousness and then leave them in carefully arranged poses along with taunting letters to the police?


Well, looks like I thought of my new hobby. :D

You can be the first.

I can see the headlines...
MAN CHARGED WITH 2000 COUNTS OF BATTERY

You have never heard of the Naked Tickler?

I'll tell the story...

There was a guy who went around for 5 years or so, absolutely naked. He'd sneak into people's houses and first check their fridge for milk. If they didn't have any milk, he would leave. If they did have milk, he would take a piss in it. After pissing in the milk, he would then go and tickle the sleeping people, and then run like hell.

He went around for 5 years before getting caught!
Seems to me the police should have been on the lookout for either a lactose-intolerant or a disgruntled ex-milkman.
Perhaps both: Maybe his job delivering milk made him lactose-intolerant.

Isn't tickling listed as an illegal interrogation technique and is viewed as torture?
I vaguely recall it being so. And quite rightly, if you can imagine how painful it would be to be tied up and tickled relentlessly.

Amy psychoanalysts in the forum?
Back. Away. Slowly.

I can see the headlines...
MAN CHARGED WITH 2000 COUNTS OF BATTERY

in other news, 1000 christmas toys did not include the batteries that were promised by the statements on the packaging.....

Maybe it's just because I'm a humorless bitch.

I'm sure you can tell a joke, just pause before the punch line and don't explain it afterwards.

Try this one - a peanut, a pretzel and a cheese puff walk in to a bar. The bar tender asks "whudda you'll have?" ( pause here )The cheese puff says I'll have a cosomopolitian. (walk away)