NationStates Jolt Archive


Will Smith is the laziest most crappy superhero EVER!!!

New Manvir
03-01-2008, 02:46
http://youtube.com/watch?v=rZQQgvhn4jg

doesn't look that bad, might be good lolz
Call to power
03-01-2008, 02:52
oh joy another Hollywood movie with no plot, I wonder if he falls in love with a moderately attractive woman and goes on to fight some bad guy who's back story is he likes money "grrr"

then again I could sum it up with

Will.Smith.Can't.Act
[NS]Click Stand
03-01-2008, 03:24
Finally a movie about a homeless superhero. I have been waiting for this my entire life.
The_pantless_hero
03-01-2008, 03:29
Click Stand;13339899']Finally a movie about a homeless superhero. I have been waiting for this my entire life.

Exactly. I don't think there is anyway they can fuck this up. Plus it plays to Will Smith's strength - absurd unlikely hero who runs around yelling ridiculous things.
UNITIHU
03-01-2008, 03:30
oh joy another Hollywood movie with no plot, I wonder if he falls in love with a moderately attractive woman and goes on to fight some bad guy who's back story is he likes money "grrr"

then again I could sum it up with

Will.Smith.Can't.Act

No no no, you've got it all wrong. He'll be his lazy self, doing shit when he feels like it, but he'll become friends with that weird kid. The weird kid will push him to success, but then Will is just going to get annoyed and give up. The weird kid will then get kidnapped and his mom got scared
And said, "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air."
I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought, "Nah, forget it. Yo home to Bel-Air!"
I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabby yo holmes smell ya later
Looked at my kingdom I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air.
[NS]Click Stand
03-01-2008, 03:56
No no no, you've got it all wrong. He'll be his lazy self, doing shit when he feels like it, but he'll become friends with that weird kid. The weird kid will push him to success, but then Will is just going to get annoyed and give up. The weird kid will then get kidnapped and his mom got scared
And said, "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air."
I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought, "Nah, forget it. Yo home to Bel-Air!"
I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabby yo holmes smell ya later
Looked at my kingdom I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air.

Its amazing at how posts usually end up singing the Fresh Price of Bel-Air theme song.
King Arthur the Great
03-01-2008, 04:19
Actually, he's more of a hard-living superhero that has a publicist whose life he saved try to help him rebuild his image. Only thing is, he begins an affair with the guy's wife, and then things get heated up. The trailer doesn't have that in it, though I think the guy in the car on the train tracks was the publicist, but I can't be sure.
Kyronea
03-01-2008, 04:58
Click Stand;13339990']Its amazing at how posts usually end up singing the Fresh Price of Bel-Air theme song.

More like ridiculous...

Frankly I don't think this movie will be that interesting, though I have to admit the special effects are amazing.
Xenophobialand
03-01-2008, 07:32
I appreciate the whale part, but that being said, this has been covered heavily in stuff like The Incredibles.

I suppose that it is nice that it does admit just how ruinously destructive being Superman-strong and Superman-fast in flight would really be (why Superman doesn't level Metropolis with low-level sonic booms I have no idea).
Gauthier
03-01-2008, 07:44
I appreciate the whale part, but that being said, this has been covered heavily in stuff like The Incredibles.

I suppose that it is nice that it does admit just how ruinously destructive being Superman-strong and Superman-fast in flight would really be (why Superman doesn't level Metropolis with low-level sonic booms I have no idea).

This reminds me of a particular philosophical discussion from Mallrats.
Intestinal fluids
03-01-2008, 07:49
I thought Fartman was the laziest most crappy superhero ever.
New Manvir
03-01-2008, 07:55
I appreciate the whale part, but that being said, this has been covered heavily in stuff like The Incredibles.

I suppose that it is nice that it does admit just how ruinously destructive being Superman-strong and Superman-fast in flight would really be (why Superman doesn't level Metropolis with low-level sonic booms I have no idea).

QFT

If Superman was smart he'd hold the world ransom...
Wilgrove
03-01-2008, 08:08
Five bucks says his only weakness will be a radioactive rock that apparently just littered all around the earth!
Agerias
03-01-2008, 08:17
Movies like these should be rated R. ...

For BAD!
Straughn
03-01-2008, 08:18
This reminds me of a particular philosophical discussion from Mallrats.

Brodie: Ladies and gentlemen, this tall drink of water headed my way is a pillar of the shopping community who informed me earlier today of a nefarious plan of his to screw my girlfriend in an extremely uncomfortable place.
Gil Hicks: What... like the back of a Volkswagen?
?
Grave_n_idle
03-01-2008, 08:22
oh joy another Hollywood movie with no plot, I wonder if he falls in love with a moderately attractive woman and goes on to fight some bad guy who's back story is he likes money "grrr"

then again I could sum it up with

Will.Smith.Can't.Act

I'm not a big Will Smith fan, but he's convinced me that he can act. "I Am Legend" was very good, right up until it turned shite - which was about the point where they tacked on the 'doesn't-fit' ending, and ignored the whole logical premise that had been carefully building throughout.
Grave_n_idle
03-01-2008, 08:25
?

There's an essay on the internet somewhere, I seem to recall, called something like "Man of Steel, Woman of Tissue"... which I think might be the kind of 'philosophy' intended. :) As I'm sure you know, but you wanted to show of your Kevin Smith cred. :D
Straughn
03-01-2008, 08:27
you wanted to show of your Kevin Smith cred. :D
You know it was the superfluous nipple and the book reading that really etched the ol' noggin. :p
Gauthier
03-01-2008, 08:49
There's an essay on the internet somewhere, I seem to recall, called something like "Man of Steel, Woman of Tissue"... which I think might be the kind of 'philosophy' intended. :) As I'm sure you know, but you wanted to show of your Kevin Smith cred. :D

And here it is for Straughn:

Brodie Bruce: Lois could never have Superman's baby. Do you think her fallopian tubes could handle the sperm? I guarantee he blows a load like a shotgun right through her back. What about her womb? Do you think it's strong enough to carry his child?
T.S. Quint: Sure, why not?
Brodie Bruce: He's an alien for Christ's sake! His Kryptonian biological makeup is enhanced by Earth's yellow sun. If Lois gets a tan, the kid could kick right through her stomach. Only someone like Wonder Woman has a strong enough uterus to carry his kid. The only way he could bang regular chicks is with a Kryptonite condom ... that would kill them.
Straughn
03-01-2008, 08:54
And here it is for Straughn:
*bows*
You're right. I looked it up right afterwards ... and got distracted by pix online.
http://www.predalien.com/images/gallery/predalien-1.jpg
Intangelon
03-01-2008, 10:06
oh joy another Hollywood movie with no plot, I wonder if he falls in love with a moderately attractive woman and goes on to fight some bad guy who's back story is he likes money "grrr"

then again I could sum it up with

Will.Smith.Can't.Act

:rolleyes:

For cryin' out loud. There's always someone who doesn't know how to suspend disbelief and have fun at a movie not designed to tax you all that much. Good grief, d you realize how boring it would be if EVERY film was made by the Coen Brothers or Ingemar Bergman? Popcorn bluckbusters exist to A) make money, and B) throw GOOD movies into sharp relief! Get off your cinematic high horse and relax. They don't nominate people who can't act for two Oscars (Ali and The Pursuit of Happyness). I think he's predictable, but not a bad actor.
Isidoor
03-01-2008, 13:07
what, product-placement-man is back?
Rubiconic Crossings
03-01-2008, 13:16
I'm not a big Will Smith fan, but he's convinced me that he can act. "I Am Legend" was very good, right up until it turned shite - which was about the point where they tacked on the 'doesn't-fit' ending, and ignored the whole logical premise that had been carefully building throughout.

Yeah same here. He has developed into a decent actor...the only thing he can't seem to pull off is gravitas...but that will come with age I hope.

There are worse actors out there who command higher money than Smith..
Peepelonia
03-01-2008, 13:56
I'm not a big Will Smith fan, but he's convinced me that he can act. "I Am Legend" was very good, right up until it turned shite - which was about the point where they tacked on the 'doesn't-fit' ending, and ignored the whole logical premise that had been carefully building throughout.

I haven't seen it yet(I will do) but I have read the book, and if the end is true to the book, then I'll be happy enough.
Rubiconic Crossings
03-01-2008, 13:57
I haven't seen it yet(I will do) but I have read the book, and if the end is true to the book, then I'll be happy enough.

It reminds me of Omega Man for some reason...
Rubiconic Crossings
03-01-2008, 13:59
Heh I wonder why....?:rolleyes:

Odd that huh? LOL
Peepelonia
03-01-2008, 14:00
It reminds me of Omega Man for some reason...

Heh I wonder why....?:rolleyes:
Peshkia
03-01-2008, 14:04
What I'd like to know is why you have to complain about an actor or a movie that you aren't even going to go see. I've yet to go see Will Smith's newest, but his movies have always provided entertainment, thoughtless entertainment, but fun none-the-less. We don't always go to the movies for the realistic factor they provide...unless you Star Wars fans out there really think there is a Force.
Peepelonia
03-01-2008, 14:13
What I'd like to know is why you have to complain about an actor or a movie that you aren't even going to go see. I've yet to go see Will Smith's newest, but his movies have always provided entertainment, thoughtless entertainment, but fun none-the-less. We don't always go to the movies for the realistic factor they provide...unless you Star Wars fans out there really think there is a Force.

Yeah I agree with you. I just don't understand that sort of thinking. Me and my wife where talking the other day about movies, what we would like to see, what our favorite films have been, the things we've seen together etc...

Then out of the blue she just pipes up with, 'Ohh I bloody hate that Tom Cruise' I said 'huh?'

Upon investigation she means ever since that film Rain Man, in which she thought the charector that he played was a right pig, she just don't like the man.

I asked do you mean the charector or the actor, she replied the actor. Makes no bloody sense to me at all.

Anyhoo isn't hate a strong word to use, when what you really mean is, that man is so good at his job, I really didn't like the charector he portrayed.
Hurdegaryp
03-01-2008, 14:21
Will.Smith.Can't.Act
In that case he's done extremely well for someone who can't act. He gets paid rather well for his stints of non-acting.
The Infinite Dunes
03-01-2008, 15:55
So if the writers guild went on strike on 8th November and... *does calculations*

The scenes seemed fairly funny, but considering how the advert was strung together I'll probably miss this at the cinema and catch when it comes out on TV or something. Not something I'd pay money for.
Liminus
03-01-2008, 18:05
I haven't seen it yet(I will do) but I have read the book, and if the end is true to the book, then I'll be happy enough.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha. I won't ruin the ending, but I'll give you a warning I wish I had. The movie is actually two movies. The first movie is a very good adaptation of the book (even the complaints I did have about it were fairly minimal) and the second movie that follows is a piece of unimaginative bullshit. Even simply as a movie, as Grave_n_idle said earlier, the second half is complete nonsense that doesn't even seem to regard any precedents set within the movie itself. I didn't think this was too spoilerish but if it is, I can edit it later if people want.

Anyway, Will Smith has shown himself to be a very good actor so I'm not sure what the hell people are talking about. He's proven to have a good range from action to romantic comedy to good drama. I will agree that, while he's able to portray dramatic emotion effectively, I don't know about gravitas but I also can't think of a role where he's ever been expected to do such so it doesn't seem like a fair criticism to make.
Vaklavia
03-01-2008, 19:07
Call To Power just hates sucsessful black people. They upset him.
JuNii
03-01-2008, 19:43
There's an essay on the internet somewhere, I seem to recall, called something like "Man of Steel, Woman of Tissue"... which I think might be the kind of 'philosophy' intended. :) As I'm sure you know, but you wanted to show of your Kevin Smith cred. :D

"Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex (http://www.rawbw.com/~svw/superman.html)" an essay by Larry Niven.

EDIT: the actual essay on this site (http://www.larryniven.org/stories/Man_of_Steel_Woman_of_Kleenex.shtml).

I kinda am interested in this show. After all, I doubt Superman didn't crash into anything the first time he flew...
Grave_n_idle
04-01-2008, 08:58
"Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex (http://www.rawbw.com/~svw/superman.html)" an essay by Larry Niven.

EDIT: the actual essay on this site (http://www.larryniven.org/stories/Man_of_Steel_Woman_of_Kleenex.shtml).

I kinda am interested in this show. After all, I doubt Superman didn't crash into anything the first time he flew...

Ah, of course... now you mention it, I totally remember it being Niven. Good stuff, and thanks. :)

Yeah, the prospect seems attractive enough.

I can't decide how I feel about it overall, though - I mean, if we've got to 'that point' (the 'parody' hero - though I hope it's more than just that)... does that mean the end of this recent 'golden age' of superhero movies ("Jumper" still looks like a strong option)... or does it mean a new direction, and we might finally see "Watchmen" (theoretical release mid-09, but who knows?)?
B E E K E R
04-01-2008, 12:10
All I can say on this matter is....

BRING BACK THE TOXIC AVENGER!
Hurdegaryp
04-01-2008, 12:36
The Toxic Avenger, now there's a superhero.
Gauthier
04-01-2008, 19:50
The Toxic Avenger, now there's a superhero.

Even had his own kids' cartoon series for a while too (toned down for family viewing of course). That was sweet.
Vandal-Unknown
04-01-2008, 19:57
Where's my Captain Caveeeeeeeeeeeeeemaaaaaaaaaaaaan?
Deus Malum
04-01-2008, 20:54
It reminds me of Omega Man for some reason...

The plot of I Am Legend, or at least what I'd heard of the plot leading up to the movie's release, was that they were intending to keep it more faithful to the Omega Man version than to the original.
Deus Malum
04-01-2008, 21:03
Ah, of course... now you mention it, I totally remember it being Niven. Good stuff, and thanks. :)

Yeah, the prospect seems attractive enough.

I can't decide how I feel about it overall, though - I mean, if we've got to 'that point' (the 'parody' hero - though I hope it's more than just that)... does that mean the end of this recent 'golden age' of superhero movies ("Jumper" still looks like a strong option)... or does it mean a new direction, and we might finally see "Watchmen" (theoretical release mid-09, but who knows?)?

I'd love to see a Watchmen movie out.

Has anyone here heard of the Dynamo 5?
Ifreann
04-01-2008, 21:11
No no no, you've got it all wrong. He'll be his lazy self, doing shit when he feels like it, but he'll become friends with that weird kid. The weird kid will push him to success, but then Will is just going to get annoyed and give up. The weird kid will then get kidnapped and his mom got scared
And said, "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air."
I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought, "Nah, forget it. Yo home to Bel-Air!"
I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabby yo holmes smell ya later
Looked at my kingdom I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air.

Took long enough.
Call to power
04-01-2008, 21:20
Get off your cinematic high horse and relax.

I recently paid to see Bee movie...

the modern movie experience will soon involve turning the lights down and beating you repeatedly over the head with a plank of money

I think he's predictable, but not a bad actor.

yeah (http://youtube.com/watch?v=IEaX4ApC_EU) he (http://youtube.com/watch?v=YOdxbqz-WBQ) has (http://youtube.com/watch?v=dCQaUJG_pRA) made (http://youtube.com/watch?v=qCcn8prSVdo) so (http://youtube.com/watch?v=v2w5-meDjFk) many (http://youtube.com/watch?v=kWsPhYbwuBw) good (http://youtube.com/watch?v=0aPZhzkQ_Rs&feature=related) movies (http://youtube.com/watch?v=ryEBM_TimkY&feature=related)

(the whole reason I did this post was to do that list)

What I'd like to know is why you have to complain about an actor or a movie that you aren't even going to go see.

because this is the Internet and everyone wants to know what I think :p

In that case he's done extremely well for someone who can't act. He gets paid rather well for his stints of non-acting.

Hollywood is strange like that
B E E K E R
05-01-2008, 00:35
I'd love to see a Watchmen movie out.

I personally dread a Watchmen movie...its too precious to me to bastardise...remember my revulsion when the *shudders* Judge Dredd movie came out with dumb fuck stallone in the lead role...been a fan of 2000ad since I was old enough to read and it dashed my dreams in one foul cinematic sweep...dont want the Watchmen to go down the same hollywood toilet bowl
Intangelon
05-01-2008, 01:13
I recently paid to see Bee movie...

And that's the movie's fault how?

the modern movie experience will soon involve turning the lights down and beating you repeatedly over the head with a plank of money

If you let it, sure.

yeah (http://youtube.com/watch?v=IEaX4ApC_EU) he (http://youtube.com/watch?v=YOdxbqz-WBQ) has (http://youtube.com/watch?v=dCQaUJG_pRA) made (http://youtube.com/watch?v=qCcn8prSVdo) so (http://youtube.com/watch?v=v2w5-meDjFk) many (http://youtube.com/watch?v=kWsPhYbwuBw) good (http://youtube.com/watch?v=0aPZhzkQ_Rs&feature=related) movies (http://youtube.com/watch?v=ryEBM_TimkY&feature=related)

(the whole reason I did this post was to do that list)


So? Are you telling me that any actor ever nominated for an Oscar (or in Smith's case, two) has a complete filmography that is utterly above reproach? You do the shitty, popular stuff to make money so that you can afford to do better stuff.

Made in America; Six Degrees of Separation; Enemy of the State; Men in Black; Ali; I, Robot; The Pursuit of Happyness.

It doesn't matter if you personally don't like him, but every famous actor has moneymaking schlock in their past, so that argument falls flat.

I repeat, your argument approaches pretnetiousness, and you should relax. If you don't like the man, don't go see his films. Simple enough? Nobody's claiming he's Olivier, but he is not a bad actor. He's a type, and that's more Hollywood's doing than any one actor's.
The_pantless_hero
05-01-2008, 01:25
yeah (http://youtube.com/watch?v=IEaX4ApC_EU) he (http://youtube.com/watch?v=YOdxbqz-WBQ) has (http://youtube.com/watch?v=dCQaUJG_pRA) made (http://youtube.com/watch?v=qCcn8prSVdo) so (http://youtube.com/watch?v=v2w5-meDjFk) many (http://youtube.com/watch?v=kWsPhYbwuBw) good (http://youtube.com/watch?v=0aPZhzkQ_Rs&feature=related) movies (http://youtube.com/watch?v=ryEBM_TimkY&feature=related)

And this would make Jeff Goldblum, Tommy Lee Jones, Selma Hayak, etc bad actors?

And I liked Wild Wild West and Independence Day.
And you left out Men in Black, Bad Boys, Pursuit of Happiness, Ali. Etc.
Also, blaming I, Robot on Will Smith is stupid. No one could have saved a movie based on a sci-fi movie stealing the name of the most famous science fiction series ever written (I would say one of, but every single robot related anything made sense has referenced Asimov) with more product placement than the commercials during the Superbowl.
Deus Malum
05-01-2008, 01:31
And this would make Jeff Goldblum, Tommy Lee Jones, Selma Hayak, etc bad actors?

And I liked Wild Wild West and Independence Day.
And you left out Men in Black, Bad Boys, Pursuit of Happiness, Ali. Etc.
Also, blaming I, Robot on Will Smith is stupid. No one could have saved a movie based on a sci-fi movie stealing the name of the most famous science fiction series ever written (I would say one of, but every single robot related anything made sense has referenced Asimov) with more product placement than the commercials during the Superbowl.

Actually I, Robot would be the most famous science fiction short story collection ever written. The movies borrows a little from the short stories in it, as well as from the short story "Robot Dreams" from the collection "Robot Dreams." This is where the image of the robot standing on a bridge as the other robots look to him as their savior comes from. Incidentally the robot in that short story gets his mind wiped to prevent just such an occurrence from happening.

...yeah, I'm a huge Asimov nerd.
Intangelon
05-01-2008, 01:40
And this would make Jeff Goldblum, Tommy Lee Jones, Selma Hayek, etc. bad actors?

Why stop there? That list also includes:

Sir Ian McKellen
Donald Sutherland
Gene Hackman
Mary Beth Hurt
Thandie Newton
Kevin Klein
Kenneth Brannagh
Whoopi Goldberg
Jamie Foxx
Jon Voight
Ted Danson
Robert Loggia
Gabriel Byrne
Linda Fiorentino
Stockard Channing
Rip Torn
Vincent D'Onofrio
Tony Shalhoub
Dan Castelleneta
Judd Hirsch
Harvey Fierstein