NationStates Jolt Archive

Okay, I need advice.
I am a fairly young teenager with over-protective parents. They push me to get straight A's, control my afterschool activities with an iron fist, will not let me use a phone to call my friends except for homework, will not let me date, and forced me to break up with the person i was going out with. They have also grounded me for three months because of it. I am not allowed to use a computer without them looking over my shoulder (Don't ask how i got on here), am not allowed to have Internet access or an email except for my school email. They censor my reading and music, and comment on everything i write. They also make me pretend to like them. I don't know what to do anymore. Any advice?

Tell them straight that you are your own person. There are parents then there are control freaks. Your parents are the ultimate control freaks.

Any advice?

Subterfuge and deceit. What they do not know, they have no harm from. That is your only option if you can't stand up to them. By their controlling tendencies and thus bad parenting, they deserve nothing else but to be lied to.

How'd you get on here?

tell them to go fist themselves or better yet log off NSg before they get the belt out

I also suspect your exaggerating and the guy your parents don't want you going out with was maybe some bong overdoing 21 year old

Well... you could use your interest in making explosives to make your parents submit to your demands... oh wait,... Homeland Security and other stuff like that.

Just talk nicely, smile and nod a lot,... screaming demands usually doesn't work for people in their teens or older.

be thankful yer not working in the coal mines...

/youth of today...never had it so good....*mumble*...slackers...*mumble*....

Write a story about a kid with overprotective parents who killed himself, then show it to them.

Edit: or better yet, a kid with overprotective parents who couldn't function in the real world after he became an adult.

Okay, I need advice.
I am a fairly young teenager with over-protective parents. They push me to get straight A's, control my afterschool activities with an iron fist, will not let me use a phone to call my friends except for homework, will not let me date, and forced me to break up with the person i was going out with. They have also grounded me for three months because of it. I am not allowed to use a computer without them looking over my shoulder (Don't ask how i got on here), am not allowed to have Internet access or an email except for my school email. They censor my reading and music, and comment on everything i write. They also make me pretend to like them. I don't know what to do anymore. Any advice?

Go crazy. Throw pies, jump in mud, catch skunks, saran wrap the toilet, and just make a complete miscreant out of yourself. If you are uncontrollable enough, your parents will settle for occasional bouts of 'normal'. :)

be thankful yer not working in the coal mines...

/youth of today...never had it so good....*mumble*...slackers...*mumble*....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ue7wM0QC5LE

i cracked my dad's password. Thats how i'm on here. The guy they didnt want me to date is 6 months older then me and in my class. My parents find out everything i do, and punish me for it because they chat with the teachers. I'm not over exagerrating.

Call Dr. Phil, he helped me when my parents did that.

But really just pretend your a good boy, say you're in cooking club or something, when you are really hanging out with your friends, dating, smoking pot, whatever the hell it is you do. Then when you are at home obey their rules and they might cut you some slack thingking that you are being good. Or you can wait out you teenage years and get good grades so when it comes time to go to college you can go to a good one, meaning far from your parents.

Call Dr. Phil, he helped me when my parents did that.

But really just pretend your a good boy, say you're in cooking club or something, when you are really hanging out with your friends, dating, smoking pot, whatever the hell it is you do. Then when you are at home obey their rules and they might cut you some slack thingking that you are being good. Or you can wait out you teenage years and get good grades so when it comes time to go to college you can go to a good one, meaning far from your parents.

1. I'm a girl
2. None of my friends do that
3. College, while it is the plan, is 4 years away

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ue7wM0QC5LE

Yeah. Bit obvious that really.

Better advice...

Never piss into the wind.

Subterfuge and deceit. What they do not know, they have no harm from. That is your only option if you can't stand up to them. By their controlling tendencies and thus bad parenting, they deserve nothing else but to be lied to.

This. Everyone will be happy.

Oh and for the fact you are using your dad's visit 40 or so of his favorite sites, or his business webpage, or whatever it is he goes on the most, it may even be porn. That is just so if they are to scroll down the history list (the list of websites that have been used lately) they won't see that NSG is there.

Yeah. Bit obvious that really.

I know, but it's one of my favorite skits.

Okay, I need advice.
I am a fairly young teenager with over-protective parents. They push me to get straight A's, control my afterschool activities with an iron fist, will not let me use a phone to call my friends except for homework, will not let me date, and forced me to break up with the person i was going out with. They have also grounded me for three months because of it. I am not allowed to use a computer without them looking over my shoulder (Don't ask how i got on here), am not allowed to have Internet access or an email except for my school email. They censor my reading and music, and comment on everything i write. They also make me pretend to like them. I don't know what to do anymore. Any advice?
Go on pornography with them watching, for the lols, and then write to Childline, because your life is sooo unfair.

There we go.

i cracked my dad's password. Thats how i'm on here. The guy they didnt want me to date is 6 months older then me and in my class. My parents find out everything i do, and punish me for it because they chat with the teachers. I'm not over exagerrating.

and of all the sites you chose NSG to ask for advice :p

maybe they are just scared of losing there girl which explains the Internet restrictions though the forced dumping of boyfriend makes me wonder who exactly you were going out with

As long as you are getting straight A's. are on track for college, and not suffering any serious abuse, leave it be. Some people don't like the way their parents are. However, they believe they are doing what's best, and maybe they are.

and of all the sites you chose NSG to ask for advice :p

maybe they are just scared of losing there girl which explains the Internet restrictions though the forced dumping of boyfriend makes me wonder who exactly you were going out withSome American parents, particularly among mormons and evangelicals, won't let their children date until they're 18.

Okay, I need advice.
I am a fairly young teenager with over-protective parents. They push me to get straight A's, control my afterschool activities with an iron fist, will not let me use a phone to call my friends except for homework, will not let me date, and forced me to break up with the person i was going out with. They have also grounded me for three months because of it. I am not allowed to use a computer without them looking over my shoulder (Don't ask how i got on here), am not allowed to have Internet access or an email except for my school email. They censor my reading and music, and comment on everything i write. They also make me pretend to like them. I don't know what to do anymore. Any advice?

Just pretend your happy for another 4 years and this:
Subterfuge and deceit. What they do not know, they have no harm from. That is your only option if you can't stand up to them. By their controlling tendencies and thus bad parenting, they deserve nothing else but to be lied to.

Gah, somethings wrong here, I'm agreeing with Fass

As long as you are getting straight A's. are on track for college, and not suffering any serious abuse, leave it be. Some people don't like the way their parents are. However, they believe they are doing what's best, and maybe they are.

Hey Raxlavia, you took my advice after all, you called Dr. Phil.

"Fear is good, it means you're paying attention" - Raxlavia's motto

By the motto of your father's nation I see that you're in for some trouble...btw aren't you afraid that he might read this later?

Play it cool.Your merits prove that you're somewhat responsible, and should give you credit on negotiations with them.Get them to discuss that you deserve more autonomy and space on your personal life, and prove to them that you would know how to manage such a space.

That or a really bad case of depression will give you their attention.

and of all the sites you chose NSG to ask for advice :p

maybe they are just scared of losing there girl which explains the Internet restrictions though the forced dumping of boyfriend makes me wonder who exactly you were going out with

ironically, it was him who got me on here in the first place. But, weirdly enough, my parents met him and like him. They just won't let me date him

"Fear is good, it means you're paying attention" - Raxlavia's motto

By the motto of your father's nation I see that you're in for some trouble...btw aren't you afraid that he might read this later?

Play it cool.Your merits prove that you're somewhat responsible, and should give you credit on negotiations with them.Get them to discuss that you deserve more autonomy and space on your personal life, and prove to them that you would know how to manage such a space.

That or a really bad case of depression will give you their attention.

This is my nation and my motto. Its how when i tutor my friends i made them study. By aiming a slingshot at them. :D. Technically, I'm using my phone's Internet that my Dad password locked. But being the eldest child of a computer programmer has its benefits. Anything he does I can get off

This is my nation and my motto. Its how when i tutor my friends i made them study. By aiming a slingshot at them. :D. Technically, I'm using my phone's Internet that my Dad password locked. But being the eldest child of a computer programmer has its benefits. Anything he does I can get off

sounds dirty

sounds dirty

i meant child-block programs for the computer, internet, etc

i meant child-block programs for the computer, internet, etc

I know, I just can't help my mind drifting off to the gutter, it's so nice and warm there ;)

Okay, I need advice.
I am a fairly young teenager with over-protective parents. They push me to get straight A's, control my afterschool activities with an iron fist, will not let me use a phone to call my friends except for homework, will not let me date, and forced me to break up with the person i was going out with. They have also grounded me for three months because of it. I am not allowed to use a computer without them looking over my shoulder (Don't ask how i got on here), am not allowed to have Internet access or an email except for my school email. They censor my reading and music, and comment on everything i write. They also make me pretend to like them. I don't know what to do anymore. Any advice?
Consider yourself fortunate to have parents that give a damn. Prove that you can handle responsibility and they will eventually give it to you.

Consider yourself fortunate to have parents that give a damn. Prove that you can handle responsibility and they will eventually give it to you.
I agree.

EDIT: How old are you anyway?

Consider yourself fortunate to have parents that give a damn. Prove that you can handle responsibility and they will eventually give it to you. .

Thirded

I know, I just can't help my mind drifting off to the gutter, it's so nice and warm there ;)

and most of my friends live there! Next time you go, ask for cookies

I agree.

EDIT: How old are you anyway?

Since she stated college was 4 years away I would guess around 14

Breaking your father's password, circumventing their rules, asking complete strangers for advice... yeah, that would work toward establishing trust and showing good judgment.

Shhhhhhhhhhhh!!! No bringing good sense into this!

Breaking your father's password, circumventing their rules, asking complete strangers for advice... yeah, that would work toward establishing trust and showing good judgment.

Since she stated college was 4 years away I would guess around 14
Oh, okay. My best advice would be not to rebel. It might seem weird at first, but in rebelling against your parents you've got the more to lose. Also, rebelling is not the mature way of handling the situation, and your parents would most likely clamp down on you all the more. Perhaps it's high time to talk to them about boundaries and limitations and privileges and responsibilities.

*sighs* Ah, teenage years........

Explain to them that you'll have to move out some day, and it would be in your best interest if they let you be more independent so you don't get yourself screwed over when they're not around to help you anymore.

Explain to them that you'll have to move out some day, and it would be in your best interest if they let you be more independent so you don't get yourself screwed over when they're not around to help you anymore.

and also try to say this in the calm, polite and mature manner that will possibly persuade them to actually consider your request

Yeah, i guess it doesnt really show good judgement, but my friends advice was all stuff like shoot yourself or run away.

REBEL.

It's the only thing control freaks understand. So far, you've shown you can crack passwords (more than I can do, and I'm one course away from a B.A. in math, with a minor in computer science) so you're about ten steps ahead of where I was at your age. Spend as little time at home as possible. Consider an after-school job if you can get a work permit without your parents knowing or find an employer who's a little lax about checking. (Preferably one that still leaves plenty of time to study!) That'll get you some spending cash so you're less vulnerable to having your financial support cut off.

Regardless of what they say to you, they CANNOT throw you out of the house before you're 18. By then, you should be in college anyway. If they try, Social Services will pay them a nice visit. And get back together with your boyfriend. He probably misses you. Visit libraries whenever you can sneak out of the house for uncensored reading. Hang with friends and listen to their music. Keep your writing well-hidden, buried under tons of school notes and old math homework they won't think about looking through. Be yourself.

I'm not saying go out and do drugs and drink and have sex. I'm not saying convert to Satanism and kill puppies (which, by the way, Satanists do not do.) I'm just saying to push your parents to arm's length and do your own thing.

see this:
Breaking your father's password, circumventing their rules, asking complete strangers for advice... yeah, that would work toward establishing trust and showing good judgment.

REBEL.

It's the only thing control freaks understand. So far, you've shown you can crack passwords (more than I can do, and I'm one course away from a B.A. in math, with a minor in computer science) so you're about ten steps ahead of where I was at your age. Spend as little time at home as possible. Consider an after-school job if you can get a work permit without your parents knowing or find an employer who's a little lax about checking. (Preferably one that still leaves plenty of time to study!) That'll get you some spending cash so you're less vulnerable to having your financial support cut off.

Regardless of what they say to you, they CANNOT throw you out of the house before you're 18. By then, you should be in college anyway. If they try, Social Services will pay them a nice visit. And get back together with your boyfriend. He probably misses you. Visit libraries whenever you can sneak out of the house for uncensored reading. Hang with friends and listen to their music. Keep your writing well-hidden, buried under tons of school notes and old math homework they won't think about looking through. Be yourself.

I'm not saying go out and do drugs and drink and have sex. I'm not saying convert to Satanism and kill puppies (which, by the way, Satanists do not do.) I'm just saying to push your parents to arm's length and do your own thing.

REBEL.

It's the only thing control freaks understand. So far, you've shown you can crack passwords (more than I can do, and I'm one course away from a B.A. in math, with a minor in computer science) so you're about ten steps ahead of where I was at your age.

I will give credit where credit is due. Its more the trick of being really good at figuring out passwords, based on age, interests, etc. Im still years away from true hacking. I am trying, though, and hope that i'm getting better

So far, you've shown you can crack passwords (more than I can do, and I'm one course away from a B.A. in math, with a minor in computer science)

Removing windows passwords from accounts is actually trivial. The downside is that parents tend to notice their password has been removed.

Using a live cd is much more efficient and less traceable. Not that I am encouraging people to do that of course.

Tell you're planning on topping yourself because of the life they force you to lead. But tell them not to worry as they'll probably be able to get your corpse to dance to their tune just as well as before. Maybe even better as you won't be resisting their overbearing influence.

That or run away. You must have a friend who will be able to put you up secretly at their house. My sister did just such a favour for one of her friends when she was 12. I think that went on for two weeks before her friend got bored.

How do you do that? Hacking lessons PLs!

Tell you're planning on topping yourself because of the life they force you to lead.

Or just ask them what they expect to become of you in the future. Then have a conversation about how best to achieve that. How does locking you up serve the purpose ?

If you really want to rebel then pass their credit cards and crap over a fridge magnet. That's always bundles of fun.

Never actually did it myself, but our physics teacher claimed to have done just such a thing to his ex.

If you really want to rebel then pass their credit cards and crap over a fridge magnet. That's always bundles of fun.

Never actually did it myself, but our physics teacher claimed to have done just such a thing to his ex.

this is going to be fun...... If i get the nerve to actually do it

Or just ask them what they expect to become of you in the future. Then have a conversation about how best to achieve that. How does locking you up serve the purpose ?This be sensible advice. My advice is ever so slightly facetious.

Sensible advice - Talking is always a good thing. Asking why they have made certain decisions and asking how they expect you to grow up into any sort of adult that can make decisions for yourself also.

Okay, I need advice.
I am a fairly young teenager with over-protective parents. They push me to get straight A's, control my afterschool activities with an iron fist, will not let me use a phone to call my friends except for homework, will not let me date, and forced me to break up with the person i was going out with. They have also grounded me for three months because of it. I am not allowed to use a computer without them looking over my shoulder (Don't ask how i got on here), am not allowed to have Internet access or an email except for my school email. They censor my reading and music, and comment on everything i write. They also make me pretend to like them. I don't know what to do anymore. Any advice?

Wait. Eventually you too will be able to move out. Then refrain from making my mistakes and moving back in.

If you go to college before you're 18, can you move out?

Theoretically. I'm assuming you're getting a load of aid to go to college and it covers your dorm. This may be over-optimistic, but if you're already under pressure to get A's (which I strongly recommend; I myself got mainly C's and ended up not getting as much scholarship aid as I'd have liked) you'll have an easy time.

As for starting college before you're 18, that implies early graduation, something a guidance counselor is better equipped to help you with than we at NSG are.

If you go to college before you're 18, can you move out?

Yes, and actually, depending upon where you live it might be possible to become an emancipated minor. However, my advice to you is to stick it out, what seems horrible at 14 might not seem so horrible a couple of years down the road. Also talking to your parents and telling them that you feel stifled can't hurt (assuming you can remain calm during the discussion (even if they don't).

If you go to college before you're 18, can you move out?
I went to college when I was 15. Yeah. I did move out... since I was 11 or something...

And yes, you are going to miss them when you do move out.

And yes, you are going to miss them when you do move out.Really?

I skipped a grade and am going to graduate early. So i can move out early.:D

Really?
Well, I did. But it was more like they miss me more. :p

Keep quiet, abide by their rules (at least when they can see you) and vent about it to your friends.
It won't do much good in the long run, but at least you feel better. Trust me, I know.

I skipped a grade and am going to graduate early.
Good job :D
So i can move out early.:D
Just make sure you're prepared

If you have a school counselor, perhaps (s)he can help you to work out a rational plan to convince your parents to behave normally. Can't hurt to get a psychologist involved when your parents are mental. (It doesn't necessarily have to be dr. Phil; although the pressure of TV cameras might help)

Well, I did. But it was more like they miss me more. :pI'm not disputing that, merely that everyone will miss their parents after moving out ;)

You can't make me miss my parents. There's no freaking way.

You can't make me miss my parents. There's no freaking way.
Wait until the checks stop... Or the first big emergency...

Then see how much you miss them.

Oh and for the fact you are using your dad's visit 40 or so of his favorite sites, or his business webpage, or whatever it is he goes on the most, it may even be porn. That is just so if they are to scroll down the history list (the list of websites that have been used lately) they won't see that NSG is there.

do really bad things, that way if you do something which is quite normal at your age (like dating) they will be relieved. Although it might also backfire. Alternatively you could also cross the line bit by bit.

The safest thing is to just obey them or pretend to obey them and wait till you're in college. It might also be a good idea to speak with the teacher that tells them things.

But tbh, if you're 13 or 14 you might be overreacting a little bit, most people that age think their parents are unfair, although I do admit that they sound like control freaks the way you described them.

Wait until the checks stop... Or the first big emergency...

Then see how much you miss them.Missing their money isn't the same thing as missing the parents themselves.

Yeah, i guess it doesnt really show good judgement, but my friends advice was all stuff like shoot yourself or run away.

:rolleyes: Of course. Nobody can tell you this, but let me tango with futility anyway: what seems really, really important now, isn't. I promise. You're not being abused, used for sweatshop labor, or in any way subject to anything worse than parents who are FREAKING OUT about how fast you're growing up. People who love, especially parents, are sometimes afraid of growth and change in the ones they care for because it means they might move on and leave them behind, making them feel like they don't matter anymore.

Some people, epsecially parents, react...rather strongly to that feeling and decide that they'll do their best to restrain their loved one from progressing to the point where they don't need the same level of parenting anymore. It's understandable if you try, and in way, it's even nice because if they didn't care, they wouldn't try to protect/restrain/control you much or at all.

this is going to be fun...... If i get the nerve to actually do it

Please don't. Overreactive parents aren't bad people (usually), they're scared people. And if our current US administration has shown us anything, it's that scared people will do anything to alleviate their sense of fear. Besides, how is screwing their financial lives over going to serve you in any way? These people, I'm assuming, are on board with your college plans, and that means financial help or at least logistical help in one form or another regardless of how well-scholarshipped you are. In fact, the insistence on As probably stems from the fact that they haven't got the money to put you through school at the full rate.

Overall, Raxlavia, nobody here but you knows the whole story, and even you are likely not seeing it all. You seem to be demanding the benefit of the doubt from your parents -- don't they deserve the same consideration?

Finally, COMMUNICATE. I don't mean shout, whine or demand. I mean ask them why they do what they do and tell them how it makes you feel. Let the conversation flow in BOTH directions, and you might discover some things about your parents that go a long way toward understanding them (*gasp*). Rebellion is seductive, sure, and we've all done a bit of it in our time, but without any real reason to do it (and there are real reasons for it, that's why the courts allow things like emancipation), it's hollow, selfish, pointless and almost never gets you what you really want.

There. Advice. That and $4 will buy you a mocha.

i'm 13, and in 8th grade, but i'm not making this up. They came into school and told the teachers to tell them on a weekly basis about my social life. They told the drama teacher to have adult supervision backstage during the school play so that I couldn't have a half decent conversation with my friends. My dad reads my school email account

snip

best advice so far.

You can't make me miss my parents. There's no freaking way.

What a silly statement! Of course nobody can make you miss them. But, with only a few exceptions, we need them. Even if it's only asking them how to do some of the adult things you've not yet experienced (bank accounts, tax forms, setting up accounts with utilities or businesses, what buying a house or renting a flat is like, etc.), you'll find they're still relevant. Also, as was mentioned erlier, nobody comes through like family in an emergency (with the aforementioned exceptions, of course).

i'm 13, and in 8th grade, but i'm not making this up. They came into school and told the teachers to tell them on a weekly basis about my social life. They told the drama teacher to have adult supervision backstage during the school play so that I couldn't have a half decent conversation with my friends. My dad reads my school email account

Again, talk to them about this in a calm and rational manner and ask for small bits of responsibility and show them you're capable of handling them. It may seem stupid or petty, but it will work one hell of a lot better than open defiance.

Yeah. You're right. In interest of self preservation i should be reasonable. I don't want to get them angry. What are some practical arguments that they'll find reasonable?

Yeah. You're right. In interest of self preservation i should be reasonable. I don't want to get them angry. What are some practical arguments that they'll find reasonable?For parents that check your email and interrogate your teachers? Can't think of any...

Missing their money isn't the same thing as missing the parents themselves.
I find that children are a little too anxious to be "independent" without realizing what that means.

You're right that there's a difference between a lack of money and a lack of affection. Someone who truly hates their parents and has no need for them, wouldn't have much need for their financial help or moral support, either. On the other hand, it's nice to have that cushion of parental support to soften the fall when things get out of hand. Best to maintain good relations so that cushion isn't jerked away at a bad time.

I find that children are a little too anxious to be "independent" without realizing what that means.

You're right that there's a difference between a lack of money and a lack of affection. Someone who truly hates their parents and has no need for them, wouldn't have much need for their financial help or moral support, either. On the other hand, it's nice to have that cushion of parental support to soften the fall when things get out of hand. Best to maintain good relations so that cushion isn't jerked away at a bad time.
Indeed, there's only a three letter difference between "tough love" and "tough luck"...

i'm 13, and in 8th grade, but i'm not making this up. They came into school and told the teachers to tell them on a weekly basis about my social life. They told the drama teacher to have adult supervision backstage during the school play so that I couldn't have a half decent conversation with my friends. My dad reads my school email account
The plot is becoming more clear...

My wife teaches 8th grade -- not drama. She wouldn't have the time to devote to supervising a single student to the degree that she eavesdropped on conversations. Supervising 30 kids to the point where they don't disrupt class, don't kill themselves on the furniture, and don't take calls on the cell phones is just about enough, when you consider that she has to actually teach a lesson, as well.

My thought is that this little drama queen is having a tiff with her parents and all will be well in another day or two.

Like I said earlier -- Be glad you have parents that give a damn about you and are willing to push you to get those A's.

...

Yeah. You're right. In interest of self preservation i should be reasonable. I don't want to get them angry. What are some practical arguments that they'll find reasonable?

Well, I don't know them, but a guess would include things like pointing out what they're doing in a non confrontational manner. Sometimes parents don't fully understand how what they do affects their children because they don't give the children credit for being able to think clearly...which itself is a result of their policies being received with vehement (and usually loud) rejection.

My suggestion would be to listen to them when they talk to or about you and covertly discover what it is they are trying to accomplish or avoid or whatever. Stockpile their arguments and comeup with a rational counter of your own. A classic is this: if they don't think they can trust you, you can come back with something like "how do you know if you don't let me try to earn that trust, even in small ways?"

There is NO INSTANT FIX for this kind of relationship. It takes patience and time, but I promise, unless they are truly draconian martinets with no sense of proportion, they will be impressed with the amount of time and care you put into your communication with them.

I don't really care about full independance. I just want to be able to be my own person with different musical, literary, or even political (i don't, but what the heck) opinions from my parents. How do i gain this privilige?

Okay, well that's going a bit far in the direction of melodrama, Raxy. Nobody controls your musical or literary tastes. That's why God made libraries. I was lucky, I liked half the stuff my parents listened to and read. Kurt Vonnegut, Dave Brubeck, the Beatles, all kinds of stuff I'd not have heard much of without them.

Meh. Kinda hard when you can't go anywhere without them driving you. I will admit that was overly melodramatic, though. My School library also doesnt contain manga or anime books. :( I do like my parents tastes in most books or music, its just that I've always read above my age level. That wasn't a problem when I was younger, but now that I'm reading high school/college level books means that my parents dub many as "innapropriate". And songs like "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne have swearwords and are therefore also dubbed " innapropriate". How do I get around that?

I can't give advice as I am not really seeing a problem.

Meh. Kinda hard when you can't go anywhere without them driving you. I will admit that was overly melodramatic, though. My School library also doesnt contain manga or anime books. :( I do like my parents tastes in most books or music, its just that I've always read above my age level. That wasn't a problem when I was younger, but now that I'm reading high school/college level books means that my parents dub many as "innapropriate". And songs like "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne have swearwords and are therefore also dubbed " innapropriate". How do I get around that?
Are you classified as gifted? If you don't know, try to be tested. The problems are sounding familiar... I suspect you've had more than one run-in with your parents. Probably some foot-stomping and door-slamming, too.

Wal-mart does have "edited" music. Sucks, but it's probably the only way a fourteen year old is going to get some music.

Literature is just going to be hard. Read the classics? Get a reading list from the gifted counselor?

Meh. Kinda hard when you can't go anywhere without them driving you. I will admit that was overly melodramatic, though. My School library also doesnt contain manga or anime books. :( I do like my parents tastes in most books or music, its just that I've always read above my age level. That wasn't a problem when I was younger, but now that I'm reading high school/college level books means that my parents dub many as "innapropriate". And songs like "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne have swearwords and are therefore also dubbed " innapropriate". How do I get around that?
Use earphones.

Meh. Kinda hard when you can't go anywhere without them driving you.Anything under a few miles can be walked, if you have the time and will-power (well, depending on how safe your neighbourhood is and the time of day); good exercise too.

I do like my parents tastes in most books or music, its just that I've always read above my age level. That wasn't a problem when I was younger, but now that I'm reading high school/college level books means that my parents dub many as "innapropriate". And songs like "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne have swearwords and are therefore also dubbed " innapropriate". How do I get around that?Talk to them; convince them they did a well enough of a job raising you to be able to stand up to bad influences. (They can't really argue they haven't after all; if they did you'd have enough leverage to question any authority they have over you).
And take small steps, for their sake. And always keep the communication channels open; if they can trust you to talk about important things in your life, they might be less inclined to sneak around behind your back to try and find out.
Don't let your frustration get the better of you when dealing with them.

Tell them you need some space

Meh. Kinda hard when you can't go anywhere without them driving you. I will admit that was overly melodramatic, though. My School library also doesnt contain manga or anime books. :( I do like my parents tastes in most books or music, its just that I've always read above my age level. That wasn't a problem when I was younger, but now that I'm reading high school/college level books means that my parents dub many as "innapropriate". And songs like "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne have swearwords and are therefore also dubbed " innapropriate". How do I get around that?

I don't mean to sound snarky, but you do purport to be intelligent, and yet you don't know how you might listen to Avril Lavigne (we'll debate the dichotomy of using "intelligent" and "listen to Avril Lavigne" in the same sentence at a another time)? Really?

Look, apply yourself to the problem. You want to read X, parents don't approve of X. Keep X out of parent's sight, devise some way of slipping X into an acceptable Y dust jacket, or read X when parent's aren't around. Manga and anime are kinda trash anyway (and hard to defend as literature, though not impossible if you can make comparisons to stuff like Shakespeare), but there are ways around it if you just sit and think it out. Part of the satisfaction in a bit of minor rebellion is figuring out how to do it.

Once they catch you, if they do, you've got a leg to stand on with such statements as "X is what college students read, and I'm going to college, right?"

Come on, you're smarter than that last post, aren't you?

i'm 13, and in 8th grade, but i'm not making this up. They came into school and told the teachers to tell them on a weekly basis about my social life. They told the drama teacher to have adult supervision backstage during the school play so that I couldn't have a half decent conversation with my friends. My dad reads my school email account

I still say put up with it, and try to do your best in school. By the sound of it your parents just want what is best for you. Now, are the going about it the right way - hell no. That being said, refer back to my previous bits of advice. As a side note, I understand where they're coming from, my youngest son is the same age as you, it just sounds like they've gone a bit overboard.

I'm smarter then that. Anger just clouds my judgement. Ummmmm.....okay. I know how to get around the reading restrictions, but music? My dad contols the computer, the itunes account on the computer, and deletes anything he finds innappropriate. How do i get around that? I also live in an apartment building on the corner of the nastiest area of the city. I can't walk anywhere, and would not be allowed out of the house to walk anywhere.

Avril Lavigne is not a wonderful singer. I listen to her when i'm sad and need a laugh. But Avril Lavigne without swearing.......Kinda pointless

I don't mean to sound snarky, but you do purport to be intelligent, and yet you don't know how you might listen to Avril Lavigne (we'll debate the dichotomy of using "intelligent" and "listen to Avril Lavigne" in the same sentence at a another time)? Really?Oh, please. What music you like doesn't say much about your intelligence...

Tell them you need some spaceTell them you want to be an astronaut; because they're suffocating you and you need some space ;)

My dad contols the computer, the itunes account on the computer, and deletes anything he finds innappropriate. How do i get around that?Not use itunes? Put the songs on a USB stick which you can easily hide anywhere or keep with you; they even have them with fingerprint-lock.

Not use itunes? Put the songs on a USB stick which you can easily hide anywhere or keep with you; they even have them with fingerprint-lock.
Yup. My mp3 player doubles as a USB stick.

brilliant. I'm going to use that method. I'll also have a chat with the parental units tonight. They lenghtened my grounding to another couple months, and I'm going to see if I can cut it down

I'll also have a chat with the parental units tonight. They lenghtened my grounding to another couple months, and I'm going to see if I can cut it downRemember, however that chat goes, keep your cool. Even if you don't get what you want, if you keep your cool and seem reasonable in their eyes, you're in a better position next time you chat.

Why did they lengthen your grounding anyway?

It worked!!!!!!!! It freaking worked!!!! My grounding has been shortened, and I'm officially ungrounded on new years day of 2008!

I got regrounded because I was reading when I was supposed to be packing.

It worked!!!!!!!! It freaking worked!!!! My grounding has been shortened, and I'm officially ungrounded on new years day of 2008!

I got regrounded because I was reading when I was supposed to be packing.
Good for you. ;)