NationStates Jolt Archive

Over the past 5 months I've been gathering data and have just recently stumbled upon a startling discovery. As you all know, the average temperature for Minnesota during summer is about 70 degrees F. I come before you today to tell you that average temperature has plumeted to a scant 16 over the last 5-1/2 months. Furthermore, I have observed a similar temperature decline not only all around the country but throughout the entire Northern Hemisphere. People, if this trend continues, and I think this likely, in just a few short years nearly half of the planet will be uninhabitably cold. Immediate and drastic action is required before the average temperature of North America hovers around -436 F. Anyone who questions the need for action, my findings, or the impending disaster is a Hemispherical Cooling Denier and should be ignored at the least and burned at the stake for heresy and to provide we, the people who care about the Earth, with the precious warmth we'll surely need to see us through this ice age apocalypse.

Over the past 5 months I've been gathering data and have just recently stumbled upon a startling discovery. As you all know, the average temperature for Minnesota during summer is about 70 degrees F. I come before you today to tell you that average temperature has plumeted to a scant 16 over the last 5-1/2 months. Furthermore, I have observed a similar temperature decline not only all around the country but throughout the entire Northern Hemisphere. People, if this trend continues, and I think this likely, in just a few short years nearly half of the planet will be uninhabitably cold. Immediate and drastic action is required before the average temperature of North America hovers around -436 F. Anyone who questions the need for action, my findings, or the impending disaster is a Hemispherical Cooling Denier and should be ignored at the least and burned at the stake for heresy and to provide we, the people who care about the Earth, with the precious warmth we'll surely need to see us through this ice age apocalypse.

Am I reading that right?

You've found that the temperature drops between summer and winter?

Am I reading that right?

You've found that the temperature drops between summer and winter?

:D

Yes. It's one of those reductio ad absurdum jokes like the plight of dihydrogen monoxide. (http://www.dhmo.org/facts.html#CONCERN)

Ah. I'm not that quick at 0320hrs.

Am I reading that right?

You've found that the temperature drops between summer and winter?

Yes. It's one of those reductio ad absurdum jokes like the plight of dihydrogen monoxide. (http://www.dhmo.org/facts.html#CONCERN)

ONLY -436. Back in my day we walked to school in that type of weather WHILE it was hailing, and did you hear us compainin', no.

I thought that absolute zero on the Fahrenheit scale was -273...but that might be Celcius.

Anyway, I get the joke, but it's not that funny. Really. The idea behind jokes like dihydrogen monoxide is to poke fun at ridiculous/nonexistent problems, but climate change is very real.

I thought that absolute zero on the Fahrenheit scale was -273...but that might be Celcius.
It is C. I'm using F because America roxorz teh big one!!111

Anyway, I get the joke, but it's not that funny. Really. The idea behind jokes like dihydrogen monoxide is to poke fun at ridiculous/nonexistent problems, but climate change is very real.
The idea here was to poke fun at the hysteria surrounding the issue of climate change which prevents discussions about Frank. It's not enough to cry out "we have to do something!" It's important to be sure that what you're doing is working and the best (most efficient/cost effective) method of combating your problem.

Click Stand;13320512']ONLY -436. Back in my day we walked to school in that type of weather WHILE it was hailing, and did you hear us compainin', no.
I know what it's like to have to walk to school in bad weather uphill both ways. Thunder blizzards every day can really bring you down and the rapidly falling temps only make it worse.

Over the past 5 months I've been gathering data and have just recently stumbled upon a startling discovery. As you all know, the average temperature for Minnesota during summer is about 70 degrees F. I come before you today to tell you that average temperature has plumeted to a scant 16 over the last 5-1/2 months. Furthermore, I have observed a similar temperature decline not only all around the country but throughout the entire Northern Hemisphere.

Not my problem. It's been raining like crazy this summer, and that beats the hell out of drought.

People, if this trend continues, and I think this likely, in just a few short years nearly half of the planet will be uninhabitably cold. Immediate and drastic action is required before the average temperature of North America hovers around -436 F. Anyone who questions the need for action, my findings, or the impending disaster is a Hemispherical Cooling Denier and should be ignored at the least and burned at the stake for heresy and to provide we, the people who care about the Earth, with the precious warmth we'll surely need to see us through this ice age apocalypse.

If you have a properly documented study, link to it. I think you're just parodying the global warming argument, to cause trouble.

Your research results, please. I don't want to have to call you a troll.

EDIT: Damn, I fell for it. You stooged me! Moral: always read the thread. :rolleyes:

Yes. It's one of those reductio ad absurdum jokes like the plight of dihydrogen monoxide. (http://www.dhmo.org/facts.html#CONCERN)

Nah, a reductio ad absurdum is a valid debate tactic. I don't know what the hell he's doing, but it's not a reductio ad absurdum.

It just occured to me! If this is what's happening up here then just think of the dramatic climatic shifts going on in the deep south. Why, if they've seen a temperature increase equal to the observed temperature decrease here then by this time next year the entire Southern Hemisphere will be deep fried like a baked potato!

Scaremongerer.:D

There's a simple solution to this: straighten the planet up. We should be more upstanding, like Jupiter, so these annoying fluctuations of temperature would stop.

It's important to be sure that what you're doing is working and the best (most efficient/cost effective) method of combating your problem.


Yeah. Because, in the long run, cost is gonna be so important...

"Well, yes, we are dying in a hell of our own making, but we saved a whole bunch of money!"

Yeah. Because, in the long run, cost is gonna be so important...

"Well, yes, we are dying in a hell of our own making, but we saved a whole bunch of money!"

Aw, for a second I thought you were going to make a Geico joke.

Everyone knows we just need to make giant rockets that will make the orbit of the Earth just far enough away from the sun to balance Global Warming out.

Everyone knows we just need to make giant rockets that will make the orbit of the Earth just far enough away from the sun to balance Global Warming out.

... and they should be solar powered rockets! That way, we'd be exporting heat.

Everyone knows we just need to make giant rockets that will make the orbit of the Earth just far enough away from the sun to balance Global Warming out.

Just recently, scientists have found the Earth is chained to the Sun, via a very long magnetic chain. Well it stops us hurtling around Solar System in an unpredictable orbit.

I completely concur with these findings. I mean 6 months ago it was hot as hell but now there are 3 or 4 inches(7.5-10cm) of snow outside! It seems that this is found in all parts of Minnesota. ;)

Over the past 5 months I've been gathering data and have just recently stumbled upon a startling discovery. As you all know, the average temperature for Minnesota during summer is about 70 degrees F. I come before you today to tell you that average temperature has plumeted to a scant 16 over the last 5-1/2 months. Furthermore, I have observed a similar temperature decline not only all around the country but throughout the entire Northern Hemisphere. People, if this trend continues, and I think this likely, in just a few short years nearly half of the planet will be uninhabitably cold. Immediate and drastic action is required before the average temperature of North America hovers around -436 F. Anyone who questions the need for action, my findings, or the impending disaster is a Hemispherical Cooling Denier and should be ignored at the least and burned at the stake for heresy and to provide we, the people who care about the Earth, with the precious warmth we'll surely need to see us through this ice age apocalypse.

Kewl... send me a snowcone!

btw... more startling facts... Snow fell in Hawaii!
on Mts Mauna Kea and Mauna Loa

Having spent a summer or two in North Dakota, I can tell you the average temp in high summer is a shit-ton more than 70F.

Apart from that, it's amateur parody at it's most disingenuous. Yawn.

Kewl... send me a snowcone!

btw... more startling facts... Snow fell in Hawaii!
on Mts Mauna Kea and Mauna Loa

As it usually does. You damn near caught me with your "white-in" campaign. Well done.

Over the past 5 months I've been gathering data and have just recently stumbled upon a startling discovery. As you all know, the average temperature for Minnesota during summer is about 70 degrees F. I come before you today to tell you that average temperature has plumeted to a scant 16 over the last 5-1/2 months. Furthermore, I have observed a similar temperature decline not only all around the country but throughout the entire Northern Hemisphere. People, if this trend continues, and I think this likely, in just a few short years nearly half of the planet will be uninhabitably cold. Immediate and drastic action is required before the average temperature of North America hovers around -436 F. Anyone who questions the need for action, my findings, or the impending disaster is a Hemispherical Cooling Denier and should be ignored at the least and burned at the stake for heresy and to provide we, the people who care about the Earth, with the precious warmth we'll surely need to see us through this ice age apocalypse.

I like you. You're silly. :)

Global warming is about average global change, not obscure local weather phenomena.

FYI the temperature here where I'm living has been approx. +5-10 C higher than average for most of the "winter". Heck, the weather system is currently so fubared that for a moment northern scandinavia was among the warmest places of Europe, if you were to exclude the Mediterranean, when temperatures soared to near +10 C while Central Europe was under a mild cold spell: FFS, a place which has a long term average temperature of -15C in December had a temperature almost 20 degrees higher few weeks ago and still has a temperature near 0 C.

Global Warming => More energy in the system => More chaotic and violent weather patterns with normally unexpected weather phenomena becoming a norm.

You missed the point, G3N13.

Over the past 5 months I've been gathering data and have just recently stumbled upon a startling discovery. As you all know, the average temperature for Minnesota during summer is about 70 degrees F. I come before you today to tell you that average temperature has plumeted to a scant 16 over the last 5-1/2 months. Furthermore, I have observed a similar temperature decline not only all around the country but throughout the entire Northern Hemisphere. People, if this trend continues, and I think this likely, in just a few short years nearly half of the planet will be uninhabitably cold. Immediate and drastic action is required before the average temperature of North America hovers around -436 F. Anyone who questions the need for action, my findings, or the impending disaster is a Hemispherical Cooling Denier and should be ignored at the least and burned at the stake for heresy and to provide we, the people who care about the Earth, with the precious warmth we'll surely need to see us through this ice age apocalypse.

Your piece isn't funny at all. Nor does it make much of a point.

Over the past 5 months I've been gathering data and have just recently stumbled upon a startling discovery. As you all know, the average temperature for Minnesota during summer is about 70 degrees F. I come before you today to tell you that average temperature has plumeted to a scant 16 over the last 5-1/2 months. Furthermore, I have observed a similar temperature decline not only all around the country but throughout the entire Northern Hemisphere. People, if this trend continues, and I think this likely, in just a few short years nearly half of the planet will be uninhabitably cold. Immediate and drastic action is required before the average temperature of North America hovers around -436 F. Anyone who questions the need for action, my findings, or the impending disaster is a Hemispherical Cooling Denier and should be ignored at the least and burned at the stake for heresy and to provide we, the people who care about the Earth, with the precious warmth we'll surely need to see us through this ice age apocalypse.

It's OK! Don't panic! There is a solution!

If we cut down the Brazilian rainforest and ship the wood to the Northern Hemisphere for burning, we can raise the temperature gradually so that in 4 months or so the temps will be back in the 45 to 60 F range and rising.

Whew! Disaster averted.

Am I reading that right?

You've found that the temperature drops between summer and winter?

Joke thread obviously.

Every time someone talks about global warming and how we must do something to stop it, God kills a kitten.

Please, save the kittens... :fluffle:

Global warming is about average global change, not obscure local weather phenomena.

FYI the temperature here where I'm living has been approx. +5-10 C higher than average for most of the "winter". Heck, the weather system is currently so fubared that for a moment northern scandinavia was among the warmest places of Europe, if you were to exclude the Mediterranean, when temperatures soared to near +10 C while Central Europe was under a mild cold spell: FFS, a place which has a long term average temperature of -15C in December had a temperature almost 20 degrees higher few weeks ago and still has a temperature near 0 C.

Global Warming => More energy in the system => More chaotic and violent weather patterns with normally unexpected weather phenomena becoming a norm.

You missed the point, G3N13.

And you fail at trolling, Indri.

I like you better now.

=============

Your piece isn't funny at all. Nor does it make much of a point.

It's funny if you fall for it. Trust me, I did. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13320586)

=============

Joke thread obviously.

Corporal Obvious! Here to save us from the stooges!

Save us, Obvious! Save us from ourselves!

=============


Please, save the kittens... :fluffle:

If GEOB (God, evolution or both) hadn't meant us to mistreat the helpless infants of other species, they wouldn't have made kittens. QED.

Click Stand;13320512']ONLY -436. Back in my day we walked to school in that type of weather WHILE it was hailing, and did you hear us compainin', no.Probably because the winds were howling to harshly...

Probably because the winds were howling to harshly...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xe1a1wHxTyo