NationStates Jolt Archive

but... would you want to?

Growing up, I hated my family, like really hated them. I don't really talk to most of them now. (yay!) My mother still does though, which causes all sorts of awkwardness, but anyway, she says "but they are your only family" and things like "you can't pick family" and other stupid stuff.

I think if I could pick family, I probably would, in fact, I actually have. My friends are more of an extended family than my actual biological family is. Luckily my husband's family is borderline normal so my kids actually get to experience "extended family" but really, it's only every other year.....last year was "my family" year, which meant us hanging out at home since I don't like my extended family and this year is "in-law year".

I guess I did pick my family.

All of that boringness to say, if you could pick your family, would you pick the one you have? All of them? Some of them?

I would pick my husband and my kids, and some of his family.....but not all of them.

I'd pick my wife and kids, my brother, aunt, and one of my cousins. The rest of my family (and my in-laws) can piss-off as far as I'm concerned.
I already consider my closest friends to be family.

My family can pretty much go to hell, for the large part. That is all.

My family right now seems to work pretty well.

You can't pick family,... that's true.

Then again,... what is a family?

I'm lucky, I like the one I've been dealt :)

All of that boringness to say, if you could pick your family, would you pick the one you have? All of them? Some of them?

I would pick my husband and my kids, and some of his family.....but not all of them.

In a way I guess I did already. I would pick my mother and my brothers. And my friends and boyfriend.
I actually do have quite extended family, but I haven't spoken to any of them in well over 10 years now.

You can't pick family,... that's true.

Then again,... what is a family?

The genetic union of people who otherwise would have made very good enemies?

I got lucky: my family is composed of strange, unusual, somewhat insane people. We get along fine.

The genetic union of people who otherwise would have made very good enemies?

Cabra you're a genius!

Cabra you're a genius!

*bows*
;)

"Family, the ties that bind and gag" - Emily Bombeck

The genetic union of people who otherwise would have made very good enemies?

Well,... I'd say mostly true but most of my non-genetic family members would beg to differ.

Nah, not that kind of "family".

I meant persons who are not genetically related to you but close enough that you consider them brothers/sisters/etc.

I was watching the History Channels "Bible Stories" series once -- they were doing the story of Cain and Abel, and one of their rabbi pundits said the following words:

"God gives us families to teach us how to live with people we don't necessarily like."

My family is quite extended, and we mostly resent and distrust each other. We resolve this by not actually living with each other. We all pick our own little clubs to hang out with, out of the general clan, and leaving the rest strictly alone and out of our personal pictures. Having a general sense of where our relatives are on the planet is as close-knit as we need to get.

So, I guess I'd say you can't pick your family, but you can pick who you talk to.

I'd most definitely pick a different family if I could, but that doesn't really mean much to me. I have the firm belief that blood ties are incredibly important and even the most vile members of my family still fall under my good graces because they happen to share blood with me. But, honestly, my family isn't all that bad, even the most patently insane ones (the burnouts, the ones in rehab, the hermits, etc.). My biggest gripe is probably that I'm something of the family favorite for reasons completely incomprehensible to me so I'm expected to maintain contact with various members and do really well and live up to, at least, my grandparents shadow, all of which can often be terribly wearisome even if they don't intend such expectations to be so.

I would pick a family of billionaires and never work again, then again I've been complaining about that every work day for my whole life

also friends are family yes

All of that boringness to say, if you could pick your family, would you pick the one you have? All of them? Some of them?

My future wife, my future children, and my nuclear family members (father, mother, and brother). I've never met my father's family, and I will officially curse the whole of my mother's family once my grandmother dies (which is probably in less than 2 years).

my family consists of my family and my closer friends. I've "adopted" some of them. Some know it, like I have an older brother, but my biological sister.......let's just say we're like Cain and Abel. And she's Abel :D

"You can't pick your family, but you can pick your nose."


Frankly, people should be more grateful that they can't pick their family; otherwise it's your own damn fault you're stuck with them. ;)

I've never had a close relationship with any of my family members, and now I actually only speak to my mother and grandmother. I won't miss them much when I move, which will happen pretty soon. I completely reject the usage of the "but they're family" argument to excuse dumb attitudes; being a family member should only raise the standards of your behaviour towards your family, not serve as an excuse to be stupid.

I've never had a close relationship with any of my family members, and now I actually only speak to my mother and grandmother. I won't miss them much when I move, which will happen pretty soon. I completely reject the usage of the "but they're family" argument to excuse dumb attitudes; being a family member should only raise the standards of your behaviour towards your family, not serve as an excuse to be stupid.

Yeah, I never understood it either.....I mean, my family, I didn't choose them, I didn't commit to them, but somehow I am supposed to stick it out because "they're your only family". I tell you if my husband acted the way they do, they would be screaming for me to leave him....none of this "he's your only husband". I picked him, seems to be working out. Didn't pick them, didn't work out, dropped them. Seems fair.

I don't mind my immediate family and most of the people on the maternal side of the extended. The token weird relatives are mainly on the paternal side and I interact with them only once in a few years, if that. Overall, I think I've come out with a pretty fair bunch, given the possibilities. As for choosing them; I'm a relatively good judge of people, but that's only because I'm particularly cynical by nature. I assume the worst, and it's usually true. The downside is that I don't identify the good people, so would probably end up with little or no family the way I only have a very few friends.

Hmm, of my existing family, who would I choose...my cousins Jackie and Gerry are pretty cool, and I wouldn't mind my cousin Danny sticking around either. My sister may live. Every single one of the rest of my relatives can go straight to hell as far as I'm concerned.

I have a great family, so I would have picked them if given the choice. And I have adopted some friends along the way who are now family, as far as I am concerned.

So I have the best of both worlds.

The population of the world falls into three catagories:

My friends, who I love.
My family, who I have to love.
And people.

... I hate people.

:D

I don't like my family, but they're almost as perfect a family can possibly get. I've come to realize that I'd dislike my family no matter who they were, just because I'm with them so much.
So I'll keep my family.

I'm incredibly lucky, in that my immediate family (mom and dad, two sisters, and a brother) are all amazing. I would choose them over and over again. Same goes with my Nana (my mom's mother), and my paternal grandparents - my Papa died before I was born, unfortunately.

As for aunts/uncles/cousins... all but one of my aunts could drop off the face of the planet, and I'd be cool. I'd be overjoyed, in some cases. One of my aunts emailed me shortly after my ex left, telling me I was "a selfish, conceited bitch who was lucky enough to trick someone into seeing good things in her, and no wonder he finally came to his senses. Good luck in finding another."

This unprovoked gesture of love is the first I've heard or seen of her in a year. :p

I got lucky. None of my family are drug addicts, or wife beaters, or committed to mental institutions...the closest thing to "weird" I have are an uncle on my father's side who has a somewhat crude sense of humor, a paternal grandfather with Alzheimer's, and a cousin with a mohawk. I'd keep 'em, all of 'em.

Eh. This is the XXI Century now: you can pick your family, once you've reached majority at least.

i believe i would have had a more useful and productive life if i'd have had parents who created an environment more conducive to creating and exploring.

people who didn't go out of their way, unknowing or not as the case might be, to prevent everything they claimed and expressed would please them.

whatever you have, the grass always seems greener somewhere else, so in one sense perhapse none of us can ever really know.

=^^=
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