NationStates Jolt Archive

For some reason I remembered the part of the sci fi horror movie "Event Horrizon" where Sam Neil's character already went mad and how he was ranting on about this alternate dimension of pure evil and chaos. Then a satirical thought hit me. The time period in which this movie's story took place was in the future, the thought then occurred that maybe humanity became enlightened and went through a second renaissance allowing such technology to exist. So I wondered if the future humans would see those from the 60s as lost, inexplicably evil living in a chaotic time (tons of subersive groups simultaneously waging intellectual war, several political leaders assassinated in US within the 1960-1969 timeframe, while civillians turned the US homeland into a zoo with all the revolutions and marches for various subversives the gov helplessly fought against communism but failed since support at home was lacking, civillians and government were against each other instead of working together ect.)

Which made me think. After the captain (played by guy who played Morpheus in the Matrix) got sucked into the "evil dimension" Did he end up in indeed the exact same universe which he came only in America during the 60s? :D

So have any of you came up with a satirical alternate ending for a movie?

Listen to the Dead Kennedys' "California Uber Alles". Their later attempt with "We've Got a Bigger Problem Now" lacked both humor and artistic style, but the original still holds true.

what...the...hell?

I read that three times, I still have absolutly no idea what you are talking about or trying to describe.

Are you smoking pot?

Event Horizon was alright and pretty scary until about half way through and you knew Sam Neil's character was evil, then it must descended into a gore fest of random action sequences and explosions, before that the 'flash' sequences were really creepy etc. 'Hell' explained in scientific terms, as in a 'chaotic' alternate dimension, was not a new them in EH, it was stolen mostly from WH40K and various other sci-fi and fantasy sources, mostly Lovecraft.

So have any of you came up with a satirical alternate ending for a movie?

not satirical and not a movie, but a book.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

I've always felt that HP would tire of the limelight he had during his school years and after his battle with Voldie he would dissappear. however some changes would be made during the story...

After Hedwig dies, Fawlks bonds with Harry.
Percy is the weasly that dies.
Tonks and Rufus would not die
The Malfoys would turn against the deatheaters
Wormtail (forgot name at the moment) would die saving Harry's life, not the pathetic way he did die.

so cue in 19 years later.
No one seen Harry after the last battle with Vordemort and Harry has taken on sort of a Legendary status in the wizard world.
Ron would be working in the Ministry along with Neville
the Weasely twins (they would be alive, Percy on the other hand would've died saving his father in the battle) would be making money hand over fist.
Hermionie is a professor at Hogwarts, the head of Griffindor House.
Draco (whom I would have turning to help Hogsworts instead of doing what he did.) would be DADA master at Hogworts
all the 'relationships' would be minor.

and the last sentence would be Hermionie looking up from her office desk to see Fawlkes sitting outside her window with a note attached to her leg.

Not really satirical and not really a movie, but I wish Ned Stark didn't die at the end of A Game of Thrones.

not satirical and not a movie, but a book.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

I've always felt that HP would tire of the limelight he had during his school years and after his battle with Voldie he would dissappear. however some changes would be made during the story...

After Hedwig dies, Fawlks bonds with Harry.
Percy is the weasly that dies.
Tonks and Rufus would not die
The Malfoys would turn against the deatheaters
Wormtail (forgot name at the moment) would die saving Harry's life, not the pathetic way he did die.

so cue in 19 years later.
No one seen Harry after the last battle with Vordemort and Harry has taken on sort of a Legendary status in the wizard world.
Ron would be working in the Ministry along with Neville
the Weasely twins (they would be alive, Percy on the other hand would've died saving his father in the battle) would be making money hand over fist.
Hermionie is a professor at Hogwarts, the head of Griffindor House.
Draco (whom I would have turning to help Hogsworts instead of doing what he did.) would be DADA master at Hogworts
all the 'relationships' would be minor.

and the last sentence would be Hermionie looking up from her office desk to see Fawlkes sitting outside her window with a note attached to her leg.

I think Ron and Hermione would get married and have kids after all of it was over. They have strong feelings for each other or they wouldn't be mean to each other yet accidentally show their passion(Hermione grabbing Rons hand in one book when afraid, Ron expressing infatuation "look at her tail" in the Sorcerer's stone and Ron always protecting her when Malfoy crosses the line and also Ron and Hermione's "argument" during the ball in I think the third book proves it right there.

Event Horizon? Crappy movie with a crappy ending. Not much you can do to make it better.

Event Horizon? Crappy movie with a crappy ending. Not much you can do to make it better.

go back in time before Mystery Space Theatre stopped running and sent it to them. ;)

go back in time before Mystery Space Theatre stopped running and sent it to them. ;)

...you mean Mystery Science Theater, surely..

...you mean Mystery Science Theater, surely..

What can I say it's been a while. I haven't heard of that show or watched it in over five years.

I think Ron and Hermione would get married and have kids after all of it was over. They have strong feelings for each other or they wouldn't be mean to each other yet accidentally show their passion(Hermione grabbing Rons hand in one book when afraid, Ron expressing infatuation "look at her tail" in the Sorcerer's stone and Ron always protecting her when Malfoy crosses the line and also Ron and Hermione's "argument" during the ball in I think the third book proves it right there.
whatever, but by not mentioning any marriages, you keep the possibilities open for the fans to dream about.

keeping some minor loose ends such as did Harry die if going with my ending, and keeping the relationships in the dark so to speak will allow the readers imagination to soar and that would help keep the world alive in the fandom.

Especially when you end it with a tantilizing hint that Harry is alive and making his presence felt.

Event Horizon? Crappy movie with a crappy ending. Not much you can do to make it better.
actually it can be improved upon.

say... instead of the ship blowing up, the bombs actually activate the dimensional drive and the ship 'jumps' again... and the ending you have the ship floating in space and you hear over the radio com, a scavenger ship finding it and making mention that it's a ship that was missing for # of years and you pan around to see the remains of the last two/three survivors...

Are you smoking pot?

Event Horizon was alright and pretty scary until about half way through and you knew Sam Neil's character was evil, then it must descended into a gore fest of random action sequences and explosions, before that the 'flash' sequences were really creepy etc. 'Hell' explained in scientific terms, as in a 'chaotic' alternate dimension, was not a new them in EH, it was stolen mostly from WH40K and various other sci-fi and fantasy sources, mostly Lovecraft.

Great movie to watch on acid.
With friends.