NationStates Jolt Archive

If someone set up a university to train dictators, would you apply to/attend it? What would you major in?

I definitely would. :) Majoring in third-world countries.

If someone set up a university to train dictators, would you apply to/attend it?\

I definitely would. :)

What courses are taught?

What courses are taught?There's Counter-Coup Survival 101. The last student alive gets an A.

It kind of depends on what sort of dictator the school plans to churn out. If it's thousands of little Hitlers and Stalins, then I'd probably decline. If it's more in the realms of the Enlightened Despot of the 1700s, then it'd probably be a yes.

Well since I already changed the SU's constitution to give my position 2 years in between votes, rather than 1, I think I'm learning the field pretty quickly already :)

I'd probably do a degree in South American Dictatorship Studies, myself.

If someone set up a university to train dictators, would you apply to/attend it? What would you major in?

I definitely would. :) Majoring in third-world countries.

Yes,
basic and advance Dictatorship
overthrowing the Government
Setting up a Government
Getting around the Constitution and other pesky roadblocks.
etc...


then hire myself out to the Federal Government and set up a department to watch over the Government to warn the people when someone tries to set themselves up as a Dictator.

then hire myself out to the Federal Government and set up a department to watch over the Government to warn the people when someone tries to set themselves up as a Dictator.

Spoilsport...

Spoilsport...

hey.. if they're going to offer the training... :p

Spoilsport...
The real answer would be to get into this agency and plant evidence on your rivals that suggests that they're making up designs of their own. Which wouldn't be that hard, considering you'd also have been to this university :)

You mean NS doesnt count?

I'd like to major in Propaganda and Misdirection. History has shown seizing power is easy-it's retaining it that kills you.

I'd major in art

There is one. It's called business school. ;)

I'm pretty sure almost 2 years on II counts as Dictaor School.

There is one. It's called business school. ;)

I hear most drop out within the first year

I'm pretty sure almost 2 years on II counts as Dictaor School.

no, your thinking of math school

I hear most drop out within the first year

Well, I'm well in to my second year, so I should be okay. However, accountants are the Albert Speers of the business school, so that might have something to do with it. All the finance and banking guys will be burned out pretty quickly, but we hold on to the end.

Well, I'm well in to my second year, so I should be okay. However, accountants are the Albert Speers of the business school, so that might have something to do with it. All the finance and banking guys will be burned out pretty quickly, but we hold on to the end.

but I was doing a joke on how small businesses go bust in a year :(

also what are the Ruude boiz like? :p

i'd have to major in world domination. and minor in crusades. then go find a place where i can get a degree in time travel.;)

Dictator school I would love to learn some stuff to help me rule my nation and maybe other peoples nations better!

If someone set up a university to train dictators, would you apply to/attend it? What would you major in?

I definitely would. :) Majoring in third-world countries.



PFFFFTTTT, FUCK YEAH! I would love that! Dictator are interesting anyway!

It kind of depends on what sort of dictator the school plans to churn out. If it's thousands of little Hitlers and Stalins, then I'd probably decline. If it's more in the realms of the Enlightened Despot of the 1700s, then it'd probably be a yes.

Are you kidding me, I don't want to be an elightened despot of the 1700's! I want to grow up to be just like Deng Xiaoping and be a capitalizing capitalist despot of the twenty-first century!

I'd teach at such an academy. I know the inner workings of everything from small arms to nuclear warheads.

You mean NS doesnt count?

Win.

So, you humans are trying to start a "dictator school" so you can learn to imitate me? Such foolishness! You humans KNOW you can never be as powerful as ME, General Zod, your rightful ruler!

Furthermore, you have no business going to any "dictator school" to learn to be a dictator, because I am already your dictator, and such foolishness as "dictator school" would only distract you from your Zod-given duty of kneeling, thereby forcing me to shoot you with my eye lasers.

If you do not want this to happen, then forget about this "dictator school" and KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!

There is one. It's called the School of the Americas and it's in Georgia. It trains officers of various U.S.-allied countries in various ways to putting down rebellions and the like, as well as methods of torture to extract info from prisoners.

I'd prefer enrolling in Evil Medical School.

I'd teach at such an academy. I know the inner workings of everything from small arms to nuclear warheads.

The only thing you know the inner workings to are the elements of horribly tasteless jokes.

there is one. it was set up by the american military and it used to be called school of the americas. i forget what its called now.

but i aggree with those who feel it needs to be shut down.

=^^=
.../\...

There was one once. Every student mysteriously died horrible screaming painful deaths. Purely coincidentally, I no longer have any competition.

The only thing you know the inner workings to are the elements of horribly tasteless jokes.
Wrong. Guns, especially SMGs are very simple machines that use the kick to reload and fire the next round. Would you like me to draw you a detailed diagram and provide you with instructions on how to make an improvised .380? I know gunsmithing, I know rocketry, I know explosives. Studying weapons and their production is a hobby of mine.

Well, I'm well in to my second year, so I should be okay. However, accountants are the Albert Speers of the business school, so that might have something to do with it. All the finance and banking guys will be burned out pretty quickly, but we hold on to the end.

A good accountant is worth their weight in gold.

A good accountant is worth their weight in gold.

Weight? We're worth our mass in gold...I don't want anyone cheating my company out of its assets because they happen to live on a planet where gravity is different. ;)

I'm already working towards creating the Lionist Republic of North America.

Wrong. Guns, especially SMGs are very simple machines that use the kick to reload and fire the next round.
Indri here is right, small arms are incredibly simple machines when you really look at them. The hardest part about them is making sure they don't blow up on you.

Probably,... for the lulz.

Classes :
Shadow Governments and You ; teaches you how to run a seemingly democratic society from behind the scenes without ever being know by everybody, EVEN YOURSELF. (... the idea was from a Douglas Adams character.)

The Dynamics Of Floating Masses ; how to keep the majority of the people complacent enough so they will believe anything that you say. Among other things that the class teaches is how to deal with dissidence by portraying their arguments in the absurd.

Discord and Management ; how to keep your underlings inline by sowing distrust between themselves and how to make it look like that you're the only thing that ensures their survival from each other.

In short, I guess I'll enroll into classes that can provide me with training on how to keep the populace intelligent enough but docile enough (through fear, consumerism and general distrust with each other).

Are you kidding me, I don't want to be an elightened despot of the 1700's! I want to grow up to be just like Deng Xiaoping and be a capitalizing capitalist despot of the twenty-first century!
I would like to be an enlightened despot of the 21st century for the simple reason that this way, I get to pass some long-term-legislation which we need.

The three major requirements are thus:

1. A healthy and large knowledge of human psychology.
Knowing how any adversary thinks is cruicial. This is a skill wich would come into play every single day.

2. A doctorate (or similar qualification) in whatever science/art/occult practice that can produce a "secret weapon".

This could be a "weather dominator", an army of undead minions, robot ninjas.. etc.
(Remember: NEVER make rays. The death-ray..too dangerous, and shrink-rays are for complete fuckwits)

3. Minions.

No one conquers the globe alone.
You need henchmen. Someone has to clean the toilets, and do all the day-to-day chores.

The three major requirements are thus:

1. A healthy and large knowledge of human psychology.
Knowing how any adversary thinks is cruicial. This is a skill wich would come into play every single day.
Nay, it is better to bend your foes to your will via might, if you're going to have secret weapons and henchmen and shit. Even a basic knowledge of psychology suggests that even owning those kind of things is enough to make people think that you're awesome.

I mean come on.
2. A doctorate (or similar qualification) in whatever science/art/occult practice that can produce a "secret weapon".

This could be a "weather dominator", an army of undead minions, robot ninjas.. etc.
Agreed, although realistically, robot ninjas could be taken over by plucky anti-dictator elements, much to the chagrin of yourself and, indeed, of your henchmen.
(Remember: NEVER make rays. The death-ray..too dangerous, and shrink-rays are for complete fuckwits)
I think it goes for any superweapon that if the anti-dictator rebels have some kind of grin on their faces just as you're about to use it on them, then you should set your Henchmen Special Forces on them, to shoot / bludgeon them to death, instead of risking annihilation through your own Toblerone Containing Angry Killer Bees Gun or whatever.
3. Minions.

No one conquers the globe alone.
You need henchmen. Someone has to clean the toilets, and do all the day-to-day chores.
Try Europe, we've got either Poles or North Africans for that kind of thing, and if you're feeling up to it (and you will be), then invade Finland and have it as a colony - it worked for the Swedish / Russians / Estonians / Latvians, after all!

That said, it's not got much in it apart from pine forests, which are nice, but an evil empire using high-quality, yet bargain furniture isn't exactly the coolest of evil empires, let's be honest.

Obviously, if you just want world power by stealth *coughs Norway*, then hey, it's a tried and tested formula.

You mean would i want to go to Oxford then go up to Sandhurst , of course

You mean would i want to go to Oxford then go up to Sandhurst , of course
With a stint in the TA Logistics Corps so you can understand how they work.

there is one. it was set up by the american military and it used to be called school of the americas. i forget what its called now.

but i aggree with those who feel it needs to be shut down.

=^^=
.../\...

It was renamed the Western Hemisphere Institute for Security Co-operation in 2001, run by the US. They feel out with the Venezuelans a few years back, since they all became ebil commie-terrorists.

If someone set up a university to train dictators, would you apply to/attend it? What would you major in?

I definitely would. :) Majoring in third-world countries.

Wasn't Patrice Lumumba University doing that gig?