NationStates Jolt Archive


Destroy the world!

Zilam
07-12-2007, 09:39
If you were the ultimate super villain, and you were planning to destroy the world or universe as we know it, how would you do so?

Creativeness is a plus. :D
Interstellar Planets
07-12-2007, 09:42
You know, Zilam, it's no wonder that your threads mysteriously become 'database errors' :D. The FBI must follow you around...

Anyway, I'd probably devise some kind of dastardly Von Neumann-eque self-replicating Furby and release it into the wild. I've always wanted the world to be destroyed by Furbies, after all.
Pirated Corsairs
07-12-2007, 09:45
I tell George W Bush that the Earth has WMDs! :eek:

Once the earth is destroyed, I build an interstellar bypass. :D
Zilam
07-12-2007, 09:47
You know, Zilam, it's no wonder that your threads mysteriously become 'database errors' :D. The FBI must follow you around...

Well, i was telling someone about how I was supposedly reported to homeland security...>.>


Anyway, I'd probably devise some kind of dastardly Von Neumann-eque self-replicating Furby and release it into the wild. I've always wanted the world to be destroyed by Furbies, after all.

Ingenious, and evil!
Hobabwe
07-12-2007, 09:58
I would place a call to His Divine Majesties most Holy Inquisition, tell them theres mutants and heretics all over the place here. Then it just a short wait till the cyclotronic torpedoes blast all traces of life from this rock we call earth.
South Lizasauria
07-12-2007, 09:59
I tell George W Bush that the Earth has WMDs! :eek:

Once the earth is destroyed, I build an interstellar bypass. :D

You win. :D
Tongass
07-12-2007, 10:01
-create a microsingularity.
-antagonize world powers to increase nuclear proliferation, then start WWIII.
-genetically engineer a variety of pathogens to not only plague humans, but also various other species so as to destabilize the global ecosystem.
-create soylent green, but make it addictive and well-marketed.
-entirely automate the world's industry and hook everybody on World of Warcraft, then after they all become immobile, shut down the machines.
-start a defense contractor company and use the profits to fund the expansion of Wahhabism. This has the benefit of providing accelerating financial returns while setting the stage to easily bring about the world's destruction.
-sell a product that everybody comes into contact with. Make it sterilize people.
Khadgar
07-12-2007, 10:14
To destroy the planet? That'd take some work, to sterilize it, that'd also take work, but much less. I'm thinking gravity tractor some asteroids towards the planet. Nice large ones.
The Alma Mater
07-12-2007, 10:19
If you were the ultimate super villain, and you were planning to destroy the world or universe as we know it, how would you do so?

Sipping my Absinthe on the beach while the world goes on exactly as it does now.

OR

Committing suicide. As figments of my imagination you will die with me.
Delator
07-12-2007, 10:25
Phase 1: Collect underpants

Phase 2: ???

Phase 3: Destroy World / Profit!

...diabolical! :D
Lunatic Goofballs
07-12-2007, 10:31
Well, my current plan is to...

...er... what I meant to say is that my plan would be to go back in time to before the Big Bang and imprint upon the ultradense particle of matter the universe began as with a design of my own, thus destroying the universe as we know it and replacing it with something considerably wackier. If I were a supervillain. Which I'm not.

<.<

>.>

:D
Turquoise Days
07-12-2007, 10:47
Destroy the world, destroy the world. Hmm. I will need six large moons, one gas giant, a shitload of von neumann machines, a deep understanding of physics far beyond our ken, and a nearby star. The Sun? That'll do nicely. Stellar based flamethrower FTW
Dododecapod
07-12-2007, 11:34
Gray goo.

Unstoppable Gray goo.
Tagmatium
07-12-2007, 11:36
Get a shed load of nukes.

If I were a supervillian, I won't want to destroy the world anyways, I want to rule it.

That's a lie, I'm too damned lazy. I'd think about doing it, then get distracted by NSG or TV.
Maraque
07-12-2007, 11:37
Have the earth explode from the core. Can you say epic?
Cryptic Nightmare
07-12-2007, 11:39
Have it listen to Yanni 24/7..the earth will kill itself.
Callisdrun
07-12-2007, 12:00
What do you mean by destroy? Completely obliterate the physical body that is the Earth? That would be quite difficult, and I don't even know if nuclear weapons would do the trick.

I'd probably have something enormous hit the Earth good enough to shatter it, or I'd have to steer the Earth into the sun or something similar. Hard to do.

Now, if by "destroy" you mean kill everything, that's easier. I get the US and somebody involved in another nuclear cold war, and somehow hijack the things.

Or I figure out some way to recreate Snowball Earth, but this time make sure that not just the tops of the oceans freeze, but that they freeze all the way down to the sea floor.

But, if a mass extinction event and the deaths of thousands will suffice for our purposes, I don't have any work to do, just sit back and make sure things keep going the way they're going.
Rambhutan
07-12-2007, 12:01
Methane
Ifreann
07-12-2007, 12:05
Melt it with a really big magnifying glass.
Aegis Firestorm
07-12-2007, 13:58
Ice 9
HC Eredivisie
07-12-2007, 14:01
Something from here: http://www.exitmundi.nl/exitmundi.htm
The Alma Mater
07-12-2007, 14:01
What do you mean by destroy? Completely obliterate the physical body that is the Earth? That would be quite difficult, and I don't even know if nuclear weapons would do the trick.

I'd probably have something enormous hit the Earth good enough to shatter it, or I'd have to steer the Earth into the sun or something similar. Hard to do.

Making the sun expand would do it. So would dropping a black hole through the earths surface.
Non Aligned States
07-12-2007, 14:15
Seed a race of highly innovative creatures with poor long term cause and effect understanding, limitless desire, high aggression and socially built towards infighting.

So far, so good.
Andaluciae
07-12-2007, 14:24
I'd tell everyone that this magic elixir you put in a car and burn will make their lives happier, and the more of it that they use the happier they'll be. Over time, though, this magic elixir will turn the planet into a rotting stenchhole similar to Venus. They'll never know, because people are like frogs in a pot of water on the stove, they won't know to move.

The responsibility for carrying out this plan will be so decentralized that it's almost impossible to fail at it. Not even Al "Manbearpig" Gore can stop me!
Belkaros
07-12-2007, 14:34
Build a gigantic version of Nikola Tesla's free energy-electricity converter near an active volcano. Drain the thermal/kenetic energy of the planet to power a giant gyroscopic gauss excellerator, the vibrations of which would destabalize the continental plates, combined with the now ridgid lava under the crust. Play some 'Soulfinger' at super loud volume, to cause the people of earth to 'get down wit dey bad selves' and boogie the planet to pieces!!!
Yootopia
07-12-2007, 14:46
Ban loo roll.
Orenia
07-12-2007, 14:59
I mostly let things go along naturally. I only interfere when I need to provide a gentle push to keep my plans in motion.
Kryozerkia
07-12-2007, 15:06
If you were the ultimate super villain, and you were planning to destroy the world or universe as we know it, how would you do so?

Creativeness is a plus. :D

Well, seeing how I don't want to destroy myself in the process or my loyal harlem as well as my mindless drones, I would first ensure that my sanctuary somewhere in the depths of Jupiter was secured from any invasion or detection. I would not tell anyone where it was, including the people who report to me. They would just know because I would implant homing devices on them that detect levels of loyalty, and if one breaks their loyalty oath, the device shuts down, but doesn't kill the individual.

I can't leave too much of a body trail. I need to ensure that no one suspects me, and this is done through careful planning and not leaving anything out where anyone can find it.

Of course, being a super villain, I would have many of the finest on my trail so I would mislead them by having two spare bases, one on the earth and the conventional one on the moon. The earth one would be the one I do my research at and the moon base would be the one I use to lure the federal agents to for a fine fight, where they would encounter my loyal army of rabid weasels.

Meanwhile, I will continue the production of malicious rumors, designed to turn religions on each other. Once I let the pitiful humans become distracted with their pitiful problems, I would then send my elite marine corps of weasels to earth to enslave the entire human population. The only people who would not be enslaved are the people who write, make video games, anime, and anything else I as the super villain deem artistic. I would keep them happy with lots of marijuana or a drug of their choosing.

Anyone who tried to show a form of dissent would be summarily executed after being flogged in the public sphere for insubordination.

I would not enslave the elderly. I would simply give them something to do, I would equip them with whips and make them middle management, who works under upper management, which is controlled by weasels.

The meek and weak would be granted the luxury of euthanasia. I would give them a merciful death so they won't have to suffer needlessly.

The enslaved will work on one giant nuclear missile. Once it is complete, I will allow for those I have not enslaved to journey to the safety that is my base on Jupiter. Middle management will have a special space station from which to finish their task and everyone else who was not in the special groups would be herded like cattle into the Middle East, where they would be forced to live together for one year before I would give middle management the task to fire my super nuclear missile at earth, killing the people who weren't worthy of being part of my new world order.
Evycon
07-12-2007, 15:13
I would let Chuck Norris roundhouse-kick the earth into the sun.:cool:

Or: get a lot of high resolution spy-satellites, gather with all the other super-villains, let world-war III start and then zoom in on single soldiers and bet on how long the will survive "Come on Private, intercept that nuke, intercept that nuke" *boom* "oooooh... damnit, lets zoom to europe."
Tangentina
07-12-2007, 15:58
I refuse to make the standard supervillian mistake of revealing my plans before they have been completed. Muhahahaha!
CthulhuFhtagn
07-12-2007, 16:07
Destroy the Earth as we know it? That's easy. All I need is a rifle and about....

6.8 billion bullets.
Ifreann
07-12-2007, 16:17
Destroy the Earth as we know it? That's easy. All I need is a rifle and about....

6.8 billion bullets.

I defy you to find a rifle that can fire that many times without being totally ruined.
Rambhutan
07-12-2007, 16:22
Destroy the Earth as we know it? That's easy. All I need is a rifle and about....

6.8 billion bullets.

I think people are being born faster than you could shoot them. However it is Friday afternoon and I really cannot be bothered to do the maths.
Ifreann
07-12-2007, 16:48
I think people are being born faster than you could shoot them. However it is Friday afternoon and I really cannot be bothered to do the maths.

IMS the birth rate is 1-2 a second.
Shane McMahon-
07-12-2007, 17:03
i would open up the worm hole
Intangelon
07-12-2007, 17:08
Well, seeing how I don't want to destroy myself in the process or my loyal harlem as well as my mindless drones

Dude, you ARE evil -- you've got an entire section of New York City as henchmen!

The enslaved will work on one giant nuclear missile. Once it is complete, I will allow for those I have not enslaved to journey to the safety that is my base on Jupiter. Middle management will have a special space station from which to finish their task and everyone else who was not in the special groups would be herded like cattle into the Middle East, where they would be forced to live together for one year before I would give middle management the task to fire my super nuclear missile at earth, killing the people who weren't worthy of being part of my new world order.

What happens to middle management after the missile has been completed and fired? Details, man, details.

Myself, I am astounded at how so many critical things in my own country alone are completely unguarded. Especially water supplies. If I were a terrorist, all I'd need to do is add botulinum toxin to all the unguarded reservoirs in the Midwest. Once all the farmers are dead, the nation would slowly starve to death. No need to destroy when depopulating leaves the place ripe for me and my friends.

Seriously, though, I often find myself thinking that terrorists are missing the boat by attacking NYC and the like. You get two or three smaller cities in the "heartland" hit by a few IEDs or other terrorist attacks, and the nation would go completely apeshit. Big cities are expecting it. Williston, ND isn't. Big oil and coal hub up there, too.
CthulhuFhtagn
07-12-2007, 17:09
I think people are being born faster than you could shoot them. However it is Friday afternoon and I really cannot be bothered to do the maths.

Technically I only need to kill one person for it to no longer be the world we knew.
The Parkus Empire
07-12-2007, 17:19
Overwhelm the globe with an unstoppable army of cyborg fops who yell "take care, you dunghill-cocks!" every time they acquire targets.

Then place a gigantic bomb in a special protected sphere in the center of the Earth. Then host a grand ball inside it with survivors and go-out waltzing.
The Parkus Empire
07-12-2007, 17:20
Technically I only need to kill one person for it to no longer be the world we knew.

LG, get down!
Rambhutan
07-12-2007, 17:22
Technically I only need to kill one person for it to no longer be the world we knew.

So what are the rest of the bullets for? Was it a cunning plan to stockpile them then bankrupt the arms manufacturers by undercutting them?
The Alma Mater
07-12-2007, 17:34
I think people are being born faster than you could shoot them.

Unimportant. Just kill the parents; the babies will die without care.
Mad hatters in jeans
07-12-2007, 17:48
1) I'd get all celebrities to run into the sea by proclaiming that there's a beauty contest in atlantis(fictional land under water).
2) Then manufactor millions upon millions of pop tarts, then force the world to eat itself fat.
3) Then take away all production of pop tarts leaving no food.
4) Tell politicians Iran has invaded the moon on space hoppers.
5) Tell Iran politicians have invaded the moon on space hoppers.
6) Tell oil companies there's oil on top of mount everest.
7) Tell china oil companies are about to invade nearby.
8) Give a free bottle of mouthwash to starving people in the 3rd world who didn't like the taste of pop tarts (for the hell of it).
9) Eat my favourite meal, Scream nooo loudly, then get very drunk and fall down a drain.
10) Come out of the drain (very hungover and smelly), make time machine from some sticky back plastic, a yoghurt pot, mirror and some uranium, put some lightning through it and travel in time kill doctor who come back.
11) The jobs done why do i need another number? oh i know use a giant elastic band throw it around the sun (using the time machine) pull it towards the earth (with a supersized elephant full of pop tarts).
12) Sit back and enjoy the last moments of earth, and a very tired elephant.
JuNii
07-12-2007, 18:07
If you were the ultimate super villain, and you were planning to destroy the world or universe as we know it, how would you do so?

Creativeness is a plus. :D

4 prong attack

Create a virus that will attack the human immune system, making those affected weak to many illnesses in existance. Make it spread through promiscuous and unprotected sex and even through blood transfers.

Pollute the environment, slowly increasing Greenhouse Gasses and other toxins to kill off plants and animals.

Arrainge it so that religous nutcases are pissed at the government as well as many special interest groups. this will blind the public to what is happening.

spin news stories so that people will mistrust the government as well as special interest groups. another distraction to keep the public from uniting to stop their doom.
Mirkana
07-12-2007, 18:16
Build the Mother of All Railguns. It should take only a few shots to blast the Earth into pieces.

Oh, and for the record, simply wiping out the human race doesn't count. The Earth must no longer be a planet.
Kryozerkia
07-12-2007, 18:20
Dude, you ARE evil -- you've got an entire section of New York City as henchmen!

Oh, am I now? I haven't even begun. This is just the tip of the ice berg.

What happens to middle management after the missile has been completed and fired? Details, man, details.

They will be assigned the task of finding some way of cleaning up the earth while working within the regulations set out by Kyoto Accord II. They will be given a budget and various goals, but they will have to do it themselves. I will not provide much, and those who fail to do their job will be converted into energy.

They will be divided into subgroups, with one being responsible to compile a statistical report of the collateral damage caused. This will include various numbers.

Another group will be responsible for making the biggest mass grave in human history. This grave will be unmarked and no one no matter how important will get a grave marker.

A third group will be responsible for checking over the first group's report after they do a report on the number of non-human related deaths, as well as the environmental impact cause by my super nuclear missile, and while this group is reviewing the first group's report, the first group will be reviewing the third group's report.

A fourth group that I like to call the middle manage of middle management will oversee the first group, while answering to a fifth group who oversees the progress of the second group, who can also answer to the fourth group.

The sixth group will compile the two reports into a single consolidated document for review, only to spin it so the damage appears to be greater than it is and is responsible for encoding it so we can send it out to other forms of life to let them know that we mean business and they can't fuck with our solar system.

Meanwhile, the seventh middle management group, which oversees the other groups will be answering to me and be laying out new group policy while they are the bitch group of group eight who while not having to answer to me will suffer for not listening to my orders.

What group eight does is not yet determined.

Group nine will form a mob group and seek out any survivors who may have escaped. They will work in conjunction with group ten who will be responsible for developing my super prison, and group ten is the middle management group over seeing it.. They will use some survivors to build the prison.

Group eleven is another mystery group, whose purpose is yet unknown. Though they will be expected to answer to all of the above groups because they are the jacks of all trade.

I will have group twelve going around and finding me the finest literature in the world that escaped unharmed.

Group thirteen will do research to find out if you can make super marijuana out of the remnants of the smouldering crater humanity once called the Middle East. All while the rest of middle management makes endless forms that have to be used in order to get a job done and these forms must transcend the different levels of middle management.

This will all be recorded for the alien life forms to see so that they may fear me!
HotRodia
07-12-2007, 18:21
I'd wait.
The Alma Mater
07-12-2007, 18:26
I'd wait.

And refuse to open the matrix inside Unicron ?
HotRodia
07-12-2007, 18:27
And refuse to open the matrix inside Unicron ?

:p

No. Just for the sun to do its thing.
CthulhuFhtagn
07-12-2007, 18:45
So what are the rest of the bullets for? Was it a cunning plan to stockpile them then bankrupt the arms manufacturers by undercutting them?

I'm not a very good shot.
Cypresaria
07-12-2007, 18:48
Hmmm
Tricky one this

Ok how about I crash the star Sirius B into Sirius A (the brightest star in the sky, just under Orion) and the result causes a supernova.

After 8 and bit years the gamma ray blast arrives and boils everyone on the side of the planet facing Sirius A at the time while the poor fools on the other side of the planet choke to death as the gamma ray blast rips the atmosphere off.:eek:

Then you got the problem of the blast debris arriving... but hey... you wanted to destroy the planent right? :cool:

El-Presidente Boris

"Personal assistants needed, must be beautiful, and clever, and be prepared to be thrown into a pirahna tank when they make mistakes":p
Curious Inquiry
07-12-2007, 18:54
Technically I only need to kill one person for it to no longer be the world we knew.

Interesting point! In fact, given an infinite universe, and our finite capacity for knowledge, there is no such thing as the world as we know it :eek:
Greater Trostia
07-12-2007, 19:08
You people are terrible arch enemies. You're all telling me, the hero, your secret plots - in great detail! No wonder you never win.
Iniika
07-12-2007, 19:44
Electric forks and kangaroos with nukes. The rest is pretty self explanitory. :cool:
Mirkana
07-12-2007, 20:47
You people are terrible arch enemies. You're all telling me, the hero, your secret plots - in great detail! No wonder you never win.

*stabs Greater Trostia*
Vandal-Unknown
07-12-2007, 20:50
Catastrophic causality denial chain reaction by a swiss army knife and jello shots.
The Alma Mater
07-12-2007, 20:57
*stabs Greater Trostia*

Nonononono ! You have to put him in a room that will slowly fill with water, or use some elaborate contraption that will slice his throat after a few hours. It is the supervillain code !
Steelwall
07-12-2007, 20:59
Oh, am I now? I haven't even begun. This is just the tip of the ice berg.



They will be assigned the task of finding some way of cleaning up the earth while working within the regulations set out by Kyoto Accord II. They will be given a budget and various goals, but they will have to do it themselves. I will not provide much, and those who fail to do their job will be converted into energy.

They will be divided into subgroups, with one being responsible to compile a statistical report of the collateral damage caused. This will include various numbers.

Another group will be responsible for making the biggest mass grave in human history. This grave will be unmarked and no one no matter how important will get a grave marker.

A third group will be responsible for checking over the first group's report after they do a report on the number of non-human related deaths, as well as the environmental impact cause by my super nuclear missile, and while this group is reviewing the first group's report, the first group will be reviewing the third group's report.

A fourth group that I like to call the middle manage of middle management will oversee the first group, while answering to a fifth group who oversees the progress of the second group, who can also answer to the fourth group.

The sixth group will compile the two reports into a single consolidated document for review, only to spin it so the damage appears to be greater than it is and is responsible for encoding it so we can send it out to other forms of life to let them know that we mean business and they can't fuck with our solar system.

Meanwhile, the seventh middle management group, which oversees the other groups will be answering to me and be laying out new group policy while they are the bitch group of group eight who while not having to answer to me will suffer for not listening to my orders.

What group eight does is not yet determined.

Group nine will form a mob group and seek out any survivors who may have escaped. They will work in conjunction with group ten who will be responsible for developing my super prison, and group ten is the middle management group over seeing it.. They will use some survivors to build the prison.

Group eleven is another mystery group, whose purpose is yet unknown. Though they will be expected to answer to all of the above groups because they are the jacks of all trade.

I will have group twelve going around and finding me the finest literature in the world that escaped unharmed.

Group thirteen will do research to find out if you can make super marijuana out of the remnants of the smouldering crater humanity once called the Middle East. All while the rest of middle management makes endless forms that have to be used in order to get a job done and these forms must transcend the different levels of middle management.

This will all be recorded for the alien life forms to see so that they may fear me!

Bureaucracy is truly evil :p


I'd detonate chemical weapons over major cities and large reservoirs.
Kryozerkia
07-12-2007, 21:03
Bureaucracy is truly evil :p


I'd detonate chemical weapons over major cities and large reservoirs.

Of course. You see, the missile was just a distraction. I never mentioned any type of security. Survivors would be made to work in the endless maze that would be my civil service office. Anyone not in middle or upper management would be trapped for all eternity beneath a wall of paper... one of many, many evil things I have planned.
Greater Trostia
07-12-2007, 21:04
*stabs Greater Trostia*

That hurt. I think you should now spend about twenty minutes explaining how much it's going to suck for me, and how much you've looked forward to your now-inevitable victory, and how your grand schemes will fit in with the universe at large.
Kryozerkia
07-12-2007, 21:08
That hurt. I think you should now spend about twenty minutes explaining how much it's going to suck for me, and how much you've looked forward to your now-inevitable victory, and how your grand schemes will fit in with the universe at large.

No we won't. Oh and by the way, Greater Trostia, you inevitably work for me because I am the worst villain of all, for I control the bureaucracy through which all the other villains do their evil deeds and while you're distracted with them, I do my own thing. You only know of their plans because I have one of my agents feed you the information. You grow old doing this and wind up working for me as one of the members of my many middle management groups. You don't care of course because you've got a nice income, benefits and power.
New Mitanni
07-12-2007, 21:13
Have the earth explode from the core. Can you say epic?

Greg Bear's "gravitational time bomb" from The Forge of God ( http://www.sfreviews.net/forgeofgod.html (http://www.sfreviews.net/forgeofgod.html) ): One long arrow of neutronium, about 100 million tons' worth. One long arrow of anti-neutronium, same mass. Direct both of them toward the target planet, preferably on opposite sides. They penetrate mere rock like it's not even there and go into contracting orbits about the center of mass of the planet. When they finally sink to the center, they meet and go BOOM! Several hours later, lots of molten planetary goodness goes blasting into space in all directions.
Neo Bretonnia
07-12-2007, 21:20
Step 1: Construct my secret lair underground in a mountain somewhere in the Appalachians.

Step 2: Create a fanatical cult ala Fight Club to serve as my personal army

Step 3: Acquire a few slave girls for my amusement back in the lair on those rough days.

Step 4: Use my cult to manipulate Virgin Galactic to invenst greater sums of money into the commercial spaceflight project. I will infuse the project with additional money that I extort, steal or embezzle using my cult followers.

Step 5: Have a spacecraft developed that's capable of traveling as far as the asteroid belt and equip it with portable rocket boosters

Step 6: Develop robotic equpipment and software to accomplish the mission using resources from high tech Japanese corporations that I will gain control of through my cult

Step 7 : Get a new set of slave girls when I tire of the first set

Step 8: Using my technology and resources, develop a ship t hat will carry a crew to the Moon to begin construction of a bunker there for me.

Step 9: Fill the bunker with slave girls

Step 10: Transfer my HQ to the Moon bunker and be the first human to get laid on the Moon.

Step 11: By this time, if my activties have been noted by the authorities, I will simply laugh and say "come and get me"

Step 12: Send the robot craft on its mission to the Asteroid belt.

Step 13: Rotate the slave girls again

Step 14: Infiltrate every world spaceflight organization, including ESA, NASA and the US Air Force to ensure nobody can interfere with my plans.

Step 15: When my robot craft arrives in the asteroid belt, I choose a suitably large and scary asteroid. The robotic systems will install the boosters onto the asteroid and deflect it onto a collision course with Earth.

Step 16: Begin ferrying up fresh food, water, supplies, personal sundries, entertainment, slave girls and cultural artifacts up to my bunker on the Moon.

Step 17: Begin selecting a pool of individuals to survive the destruction of the Earth. This pool of people will all be healthy, intelligent and fanatically loyal to me. There will be a sufficient population to be able to overcome genetic bottleneck and repopulate after the disaster with an entire race of people who will obey my every command

Step 18: Excavate a bunker on Earth deep and strong enough to survive the coming apocalypse, and stock it with supplies enough to sustain them all.

Step 19: Rotate the slave girls again

Step 20: Take over satellite feeds all over the Earth 24 hours before the impact and warn them of what's coming.

Step 21: Watch the media blame George W. Bush for it all

Step 22: Listen to Rush Limbaugh & others blame Hillary Clinton for it all

Step 23: Order my selected survivors into the bunker

Step 24: Rotate the slave girls one last time, keeping all my favorites.

Step 25: Watch the fireworks!
Vandal-Unknown
07-12-2007, 21:29
Step 3: Acquire a few slave girls for my amusement back in the lair on those rough days.

Step 7 : Get a new set of slave girls when I tire of the first set

Step 9: Fill the bunker with slave girls

Step 13: Rotate the slave girls again

Step 16: Begin ferrying up fresh food, water, supplies, personal sundries, entertainment, slave girls and cultural artifacts up to my bunker on the Moon.

Step 19: Rotate the slave girls again

Step 24: Rotate the slave girls one last time, keeping all my favorites.


You forget step 34 : PROFIT!!!

And is "rotating" slave girls an euphemism? Because it is relevant to my interests.

And furthermore, are you Hugo Drax?
Neo Bretonnia
07-12-2007, 21:31
You forget step 34 : PROFIT!!!

And is "rotating" slave girls an euphemism? Because it is relevant to my interests.

And furthermore, are you Hugo Drax?

LOL

No, it's not a euphemism. Only acknowledging the male attention span by getting new ones in every so often.

Nope.
Ordo Drakul
07-12-2007, 21:35
Orbital satellites that scramble the language centers of the brain. With everyone illiterate and unable to communicate, blind stupid clueless doo-dah luck with winnow down the population to controllable numbers in no time.
The problem isn't destroying the world-the problem is how to turn a profit off doing so.
Mirkana
07-12-2007, 21:49
Nonononono ! You have to put him in a room that will slowly fill with water, or use some elaborate contraption that will slice his throat after a few hours. It is the supervillain code !

I've got a better deathtrap room. It's made entirely out of dry ice, and the floor has dry ice blades sticking out of it. It will probably kill him within a minute, but it will be agonizing. And fun to watch.

And now for my monologue:
To be, or not to be, that is the question...
Aurono
07-12-2007, 22:01
Orbital satellites that scramble the language centers of the brain. With everyone illiterate and unable to communicate, blind stupid clueless doo-dah luck with winnow down the population to controllable numbers in no time.


Tat has been done already, some thousand years ago, in a city called Babel. And there's no need to repeat it, since most of the world's population has not yet recovered from the state you describe in your post.

My own plan *goes through Pinky&Brain DVD collection*...
I'll order lots of charcoal, dirt and black paint and have my minions smear the north and south pole ice caps all black. The blackened ice will happily absorb all those pesky sunbeams, melting away and drowning any serious opposition. The ensuing economic collapse, famines, mass migration, social unrest and wars will do just the rest (that is what is expected to happen at a sea level rise of 16m, right).

But... what is that... noooo, it's my arch-nemesis Supergore! He's going to ruin my plan...!!!

Again, have my minions capture him, tie him well up, elaborate my plan upon him, then torture him with a remix of how he lost the 2000 elections and scenes from his own movie.
South Lorenya
07-12-2007, 22:16
[You do not have clearance to read this message.]
Komekong
07-12-2007, 22:30
It's quite easy actually.

First you melt the great lakes of the Siberian tundra.
Then, when the global temp have raised, you burn down amazonas, and all the great forests f the world. Then the world will destroy itself, creating a new mass-extinction cilling at least 90% of all living. When you've gon so far, nobody will be able to stop you frm detonating all the nuclear weapons of the world. easy as :sniper: :mp5:
Siylva
07-12-2007, 23:07
Have every human being sleep with Paris Hilton, thus spreading whatever godawful diseases have accumalated within her body.
Lunatic Goofballs
07-12-2007, 23:45
Gray goo.

Unstoppable Gray goo.

Sounds fun. :)
Free Soviets
07-12-2007, 23:46
I'd wait.

op specified super villian. what sort of super villian has that kind of patience?
Lunatic Goofballs
07-12-2007, 23:48
You people are terrible arch enemies. You're all telling me, the hero, your secret plots - in great detail! No wonder you never win.

*places Greater Trostia in an easily escapable situation involving an overly elaborate and exotic death*
Sel Appa
07-12-2007, 23:49
I'd eat it.
JuNii
08-12-2007, 00:08
[snipped]

reminds me of my friends review of "Evil Genius"

you build your lair and fill it with henchmen.

after a few moments, a super spy will attempt to infiltrate your lair and you watch all your henchmen run to stop him/her.

after you get some money, you can buy things such as training for your henchmen so that when the next spy attacks, they will run to your armory, grab weapons THEN go to stop the spy...
JuNii
08-12-2007, 00:12
*places Greater Trostia in an easily escapable situation involving an overly elaborate and exotic death*

don't forget to look surprised when he shows up at the last moment to thwart you.

actually, I'd follow the "Evil Overlord (http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html)" list.