NationStates Jolt Archive

From whatever heaven, hell or oblivion he currently resides in, I'm sure the Great Turkmenbashi is looking with fondness at his successor, Kurbanguly Berdymukhamedov. (How could you not like someone whose first name is Kurbanguly, anyway?)


Turkmen leader Kurbanguly Berdymukhamedov has ordered that "ugly" satellite dishes be removed from people's homes in the capital Ashgabat, in a flamboyant gesture reminiscent of his eccentric predecessor.

"You go now and remove the dishes covering all those houses," state media quoted him as saying during a meeting with the mayor of Ashgabat, a city of marble buildings and gold domes in the desert near Iran.

[...] During his rule, Niyazov dotted the former Soviet nation with statues of himself, banned ballet and opera, and wrote a spiritual guide for the Turkmen people which became mandatory reading for all schoolchildren.


(link (http://www.stuff.co.nz/stuff/4313179a4560.html))

Berdymukhamedov still has a long way to go if he wants to match his illustrious predecessor. :p

He needs to just go nuts and make up a bunch of random decrees; ban the color blue, make it mandatory to wear suspenders without belts, rename the Sun, reinstate Pluto's planet status, declare war on the Caspian Sea...you know, pretty much do whatever the hell he wants and see how much he can get away with.

That should be a good place to start. Also, make some stacked decrees; ban the banning of banning of banning of banning permitting restricting of legislating restricting banning of producing green-colored glass.

He's not mad at all. These satellite dishes allowed the people to watch the news from abroad.

He needs to just go nuts and make up a bunch of random decrees; ban the color blue, make it mandatory to wear suspenders without belts, rename the Sun, reinstate Pluto's planet status, declare war on the Caspian Sea...you know, pretty much do whatever the hell he wants and see how much he can get away with.

That should be a good place to start. Also, make some stacked decrees; ban the banning of banning of banning of banning permitting restricting of legislating restricting banning of producing green-colored glass.

You should get Turkmenistani citizenship and stand in the next election. :p

If there is a next election.

You should get Turkmenistani citizenship and stand in the next election. :p

If there is a next election.

Eventually. The only certain thing with dictators is, they all die at some point.
But if you can't wait, I hear military coups are quite the rage these days, too ;)

Seriously, I know he's a dictator and living in Turkmenistan can't be fun, but you have to admit both him and good ol Turkmenbashi were extremely creative compared to your average Fidel Castro or Robert Mugabe.

Seriously, I know he's a dictator and living in Turkmenistan can't be fun, but you have to admit both him and good ol Turkmenbashi were extremely creative compared to your average Fidel Castro or Robert Mugabe.

The dear old Turkmenbashi even beat Teodoro Obiang Nguema Mbasogo, President of Equatorial Guinea:


State radio in the tiny west African state of Equatorial Guinea has hailed the nation's leader as "the country's God".

In a programme called Bidze-Nduan (Bury the fire) which deals with "peace, tranquillity and the order reigning in the country" the radio declared that President Teodoro Obiang Nguema was "in permanent contact with the Almighty".

[...] "He can decide to kill without anyone calling him to account and without going to hell because it is God himself, with whom he is in permanent contact, and who gives him this strength," a presidential aide announced on the show.

The radio show, which claims to "inform and mobilise the masses on issues of national interest", has warned against any attempt to disrupt the peace and order which, it said, had reigned since President Obiang, 61, took power in a coup 23 years ago.


(link (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/3098007.stm))


Malabo [capital of E.G.] called on Wednesday for the extradition of Moto, who tried to mount a coup against Obiang in 1997 from Angola and recently set up a government in exile in Spain.

[...] Moto also went on the offensive, telling Spanish radio station Onda Cero that Obiang was an "authentic cannibal" who "systematically eats his political rivals.

"A while back he paid millions to those they call marabou (sorcerers) to tell him if his power base was safe. They told him that to keep his grip on power he had to kill people close to him.

"Obiang wants me to go back to Guinea and eat my testicles. That's clear," he told Onda Cero.


(link (http://www.news24.com/News24/Africa/News/0,,2-11-1447_1496535,00.html))

"Obiang wants me to go back to Guinea and eat my testicles. That's clear."
Soooooo sigworthy.

Soooooo sigworthy.

It is a rather unusual quote, isn't it? :p

I miss Niyazov. They just don't make crazy dictators like they used to. :(

Things ain't what they used to be in Turkmenistan:


On a recent trip to Turkmenistan, the BBC's Natalia Antelava saw signs of a nation preparing to open up - and discovered a vibrant party scene in the nation's capital, Ashgabat.

Dozens of young people crowd the bar, trying to shout over the deafening techno tunes and attract the bartender's attention.

"They are closing soon," one of them yells to his friends, "so last orders before we head to the club".

This is an ordinary Friday night in an extraordinary place.

Outside, the brightly lit streets of Ashgabat are quiet and empty. In the capital of one of the most isolated countries on earth, parties do not seem to spill on to the streets.

For more than two decades Turkmenistan, ruled by its authoritarian, isolationist leader Saparmurat Niyazov, was a mystery to the outside world.

The few who managed to visit the country during his rule talked about the eccentric personality cult of a man who renamed months of the year after himself and his mother, built golden statues to himself and banned beards and ballet.

Mr Niyazov tolerated no dissent, jailed his opponents and controlled the media.

But a year on from his death Turkmenistan is beginning to open up, and although the political system remains the same, when it comes to entertainment there seems to be plenty of choice.

There may not be a great variety of bars and nightclubs in Ashgabat, but on Friday night they are full of young people.

Alcohol is flowing, dancing carries on late into the night. And it is not just the elite who party here.

"Life is cheap here, and I can definitely afford to take my girlfriend out," says 22 year old Dima who works in a mobile phone repair shop.

The couple refused to be photographed, but it is not the government they fears, it is their parents. They do not want them to find out that they have been drinking.

"The outside world is wrong in thinking that this is a depressing place. We have a great time here, and we don't feel any restrictions," says Dima's friend, Anton.

In unison, young people everywhere say that life is becoming better in Turkmenistan.

"When it came to entertainment we never really felt restrictions, but with the new president things are much more open, the atmosphere has changed," Lena said as she and her friends celebrated her birthday in another crowded bar.

At a wedding celebration across town balloons floated in the air and hundreds of people danced away beneath them.

People in Turkmenistan may live under one of the most autocratic systems in the world but, despite the stereotypes, the lack of political choice does not seem to mean lack of fun.


(link (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7143092.stm))

In memory of the world's oddest dictator. ;)

http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/7928/niyazovsb0.jpg

Why change horses midstream?

In memory of the world's oddest dictator. ;)

http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/7928/niyazovsb0.jpg

R.I.P. :(