NationStates Jolt Archive

Would you do it? Have you done it? Any success stories out there about dating internet people?

I have done it. And I'll keep trying it until it either works or I die, which ever comes first (the latter, most likely).

Would you do it? Have you done it? Any success stories out there about dating internet people?

I dated someone online for three years. It turned out she was a cruel-hearted bitch who used me and broke my heart. She had the gall to show up a few months ago and try to play the "I have no friends and I'm a broken person" card on me (Which of course worked because I'm a sap, a sucker, and too compassionate for my own good) and used me yet again. :headbang:

My advice is to stick with people near you. Body language and more frequent interaction allows you to judge character much better.

I have gone on dates with people I met through the internet. One I had a relationship with for a few months; quite a few are simply friends. A couple did not click as well in real life as online which caused the contact to slowly die.

In general however I mostly use msn and such as a way to get to know people better and keep in touch. Primarily because I dislike the more oldfashioned phone.

No, i've met several people from the internet but none with the specific intention of dating them.

I had an online girlfriend a while back, but we eventually broke up. It's not for internet-related reasons -- instead it involves a vile, scheming demoness (we'll call her "Ann Coulter") who wanted to date me even though she already had a boyfriend (I know, I know). Therefore, Ann lied to my girlfriend until I was dumped. By the time the truth about those lies came out, it was too late. :(

It's a good way to establish contact, but as for anything lasting, that, as it always does, depends on the people involved. It takes both people for a relationship to succeed or fail. The 'Net is just a tool you can use to meet others. I've met four lovely women online. One was odd (which, for me, is saying something), one was seeing someone else and just testing the waters (apparently I was found wanting), another was going smoothly until the fourth date when she asked me about my biggest regret and it turned out to be something that she didn't want to deal with, and the fourth was, well, a piece of controlling and manipulative splendor that I spent far too much time and emotional effort getting to know, considering she lived 60 miles away.

I'd still use the 'Net to date, but I'd refine my search to within, say, 25 miles of home so that more frequent and informative dates could be had.

Again, it's just a tool, and it beats the hell out of wading through bars or clubs where the music sucks and most of the people are jackasses.

did it for a few months, met up, still going out (and seeing each other on a weekly basis) 2 years later :)


i see no real downsides apart from potential for dishonesty. in fact, its a good way to get to know each other well before getting properly involved (as opposed to meeting someone at a bar/club etc). but of course you will eventually have to meet up

I found my love on the 'net (it was even a NationStates-IRC-Channel) without searching... *gives Allanea a passionate kiss*

All my girlfriends have been online ones.

The people I've dated have solely been people I've met on the internet. The current relationship is going on 8 years, though I doubt it'll make it that far.

Dated, and now have been married two and a half years to a woman I met here on NS. w00t!

Dated, and now have been married two and a half years to a woman I met here on NS. w00t!

Congrats and all the best for the future of you two!

I've had a profile on a dating site for almost three years now, but my success has been rather poor. Still, I'm not going to stop, because even though it sucks, it still has a theoretical chance of working, unlike most alternatives.

I've corresponded with a couple of dozen women so far, three of whom I actually met in person. Miss A wanted to be friends after the date; naturally I never heard from her since. Miss B was so quiet and introverted that it was impossible to have a conversation with her for more than a few words. Also, she had an ugly pot belly. Miss C was actually a great person, and I would have gone on a second date with her, but just before that, she switched me to some 45-year-old guy. (She was 21 and I 23.)

Anyway, I stronly recommend trying, but try to get a real-life date with her as soon as possible. People can seem different online than in person, and you wouldn't want to spend several months courting someone, who turns out to be quite different from what you had imagined.

Maybe, but never monogamously.

Have tried. We didn't hit it off, but we're pretty good friends now anyway. Which was nice.

I found my love on the 'net (it was even a NationStates-IRC-Channel) without searching... *gives Allanea a passionate kiss*

Congrats and all the best for the future of you two!

And the same in return! Lets see, this is four couples I know of that met here. One now married (Me and Roan), Two engaged (Last that I knew. You and Alanea, and Hans and Silver). Now the question is: When are PM and glitz gonna get engaged?:D

(And to think, they did "NationDates" as a joke).

How you meet people is pretty darned arbitrary. You can meet at a pub, at school, at work, on the bus, or online. How the relationship goes from there really has no correlation to where you met, although meeting online often begins with geographic barriers.



That being said, I met my wife online and if we had stuck with cybersex we wouldn't have the children running around the house.....

Besides, real sex is better for a whole lot of other reasons too.

I dated a fellow NSer. Didn't work. I'm not sure I'd do it again, but on the other hand, it hasn't completely coloured me to the experience.

I also lived (platonically) with someone I met via NS, and that worked out fine.

I think online sites are just a tool in the toolbox of dating. I would say use it while using the other ways (friends,work,school) in conjunction with the online bit. Seems today it is acceptable unlike years back when people thought it was wierd. I own a bar/restaurant and see people drunk out of their minds hooking up for the night. I personally find that wierd and if was in the single position I would probably use the net.

All my girlfriends have been online ones.

That strikes me as kinda sad :(

That strikes me as kinda sad :(

Maybe they are really shy and online is their way of getting over it?

It's a good way to establish contact, but as for anything lasting, that, as it always does, depends on the people involved. It takes both people for a relationship to succeed or fail. The 'Net is just a tool you can use to meet others.

Well said.

I met my partner online, and moved over 500 miles to be with him. We've been together just over a year now. It's a good way to meet people. You actually get to know the person before dealing with the physical aspect. No lust or revulsion at first sight to cloud your judgment. And given that I'm disabled and don't get out much, and he is a farmer who works from dawn 'til dusk and doesn't get out much, there weren't many other opportunities for meeting someone.

... real sex is better for a whole lot of other reasons too.:confused:

The idea is to get a date+sex..

isn't it?

It's got the same chance as any other relationship.

:confused:

The idea is to get a date+sex..

isn't it?

Well... I always date to have fun. Sex can be a nice bonus, but is not the main goal.

Well, I had a girlfriend in Texas who I only knew from online, but only for two months till she broke up with me. All this was more than a year ago. I still talk to her, but not that much.

Well... I always date to have fun. Sex can be a nice bonus, but is not the main goal.

Not like you can't have a healthy sex life with someone long distance.

Wait.... there's dating OUTSIDE the internet? Hmm...

I dated a woman I met on the net. We emailed each other for weeks until she asked me out for a date. I thought: Well, why not. She was a couple of years older than me (like7 years older). The date went quite well, even though in person she was different (and later she told me I was different too).

We got along quite well. We met a few times, spend the night (afternoon to be precise) together once still go out together once in a while.

Friends. Nothing more, nothing less.

I could never date an internet

i see no real downsides apart from potential for dishonesty.

I've met many friends online, and there was only one "horror story" type, but it was the first person I ever met from the internet and it was bad. So I always tell people, it isn't /likely/ that the person you're talking to is a soulless psychopath, but it does happen, and when it does it's awful.

I've met many friends online, and there was only one "horror story" type, but it was the first person I ever met from the internet and it was bad. So I always tell people, it isn't /likely/ that the person you're talking to is a soulless psychopath, but it does happen, and when it does it's awful.

OMG yes. That is so my story. The first online friend that I tried to turn into a real life friend. Well, let's just say that ended poorly.

So I just tried making a profile on such a site recently. I tried to write a fairly detailed and honest account of myself, including big words, nerdy habits, and a requisite science joke, but despite these efforts to discourage meatheads from thinking htey had a chance, it turned out to be a largely depressing experiment. Getting three word messages along the lines of "How YOU doin' tonight?" from pipe-fitters in the burbs just wasn't really my thing. There seemed to be a few interesting and nice-sounding people too. But it seems...I dunno. I was demoralized. Maybe I have too low a tolerance for sifting through troglodytes with bare-chest photos for internet dating to work.

I could never date an internet*Moans* Oh, series of tubes! Right there! There!

Would you do it? Have you done it? Any success stories out there about dating internet people?

Did it, a number of times. Now I'm just after moving in with one of those dates, things are looking very good indeed :)

So I just tried making a profile on such a site recently. I tried to write a fairly detailed and honest account of myself, including big words, nerdy habits, and a requisite science joke, but despite these efforts to discourage meatheads from thinking htey had a chance, it turned out to be a largely depressing experiment. Getting three word messages along the lines of "How YOU doin' tonight?" from pipe-fitters in the burbs just wasn't really my thing. There seemed to be a few interesting and nice-sounding people too. But it seems...I dunno. I was demoralized. Maybe I have too low a tolerance for sifting through troglodytes with bare-chest photos for internet dating to work.

Tell me about it... *sigh*
I think the problem there is that people who are inclined to write 3-word messages (in worst case scenarios these three words are even abreviated to "How r u?" *shudders*) don't usually read descriptions that contain more than 3 words, either.
I would usually ignore them, or have a quick look at their pages. If, as suspected, they showed no description whatsoever apart from a presumably supposed to be clever "Why don't you ask me?", and no pics, I would just ignore them. I've done a lot of ignoring in my time.

No. Not my cup of tea, and I'd also be immensely wary of joining an internet dating site. I feel it would be tantamount to declaring myself a hideously ugly socially inept goon; I'd rather fall in love the traditional way thank you.

I found my love on the 'net (it was even a NationStates-IRC-Channel) without searching... *gives Allanea a passionate kiss*

*kisses Rejis despite the whole forum is watching*

*kisses Rejis despite the whole forum is watching*

Awww.

*takes pictures*

*kisses Rejis despite the whole forum is watching*

*smiles*
I always think that's so cute... when I'm waiting for the bus home each night, there's always this couple there that seem just fallen in love, they're just so cute.

Not like you can't have a healthy sex life with someone long distance.

Not a healthy one, no. I've seen that movie, and it doesn't end well. I had someone in 2003 who was a long-distance sexual friend. Only thing was, i didn't know that at the time. At the time we were both coming off three-year relationships, and it was easily the best sex of my life. Naturally, I thought I was in love. I proposed, spent way too much on a ring and all the plane tickets between Seattle and Austin, TX. I moved down there in the summer and within weeks realized that while our sexual affinity was very strong and the sex amazing, we were NOT meant to be married. I think I spent a total of about $5000 finding that out, and I wish to hell I'd have listened to my inner voice and the one relative who warned me about what I was doing.

We didn't meet online, but the 'Net helped foster the erroneous perception that we were in love. Living with someone is an order of magnitude different than the clean, edited (consciously or not), and only partially revealing online presence two might share.

So I just tried making a profile on such a site recently. I tried to write a fairly detailed and honest account of myself, including big words, nerdy habits, and a requisite science joke, but despite these efforts to discourage meatheads from thinking htey had a chance, it turned out to be a largely depressing experiment. Getting three word messages along the lines of "How YOU doin' tonight?" from pipe-fitters in the burbs just wasn't really my thing. There seemed to be a few interesting and nice-sounding people too. But it seems...I dunno. I was demoralized. Maybe I have too low a tolerance for sifting through troglodytes with bare-chest photos for internet dating to work.

I hope you don't think that your travail is unique to your gender. I had to sift through a lot of chaff to get to the three or four kernels of wheat I discovered at either Match or OKCupid. The only thing that makes the annoyance of a woman with a strong mind worse than that of a man with a strong mind is that almost ANY man will hit on ANYTHING he finds remotely attractive. Women, however, knowing they have the reins overall with regard to meeting someone and allowing a relationship to progress, will dig deeper and just not respond at all to any profile she feels not worth it.

Of course, that's just my opinion, I could be wrong.

Richard and I are still going strong after two years of online lovin's. Once he's done college we'll be able to get a place together. <3

Not a healthy one, no. I've seen that movie, and it doesn't end well. I had someone in 2003 who was a long-distance sexual friend. Only thing was, i didn't know that at the time. At the time we were both coming off three-year relationships, and it was easily the best sex of my life. Naturally, I thought I was in love. I proposed, spent way too much on a ring and all the plane tickets between Seattle and Austin, TX. I moved down there in the summer and within weeks realized that while our sexual affinity was very strong and the sex amazing, we were NOT meant to be married. I think I spent a total of about $5000 finding that out, and I wish to hell I'd have listened to my inner voice and the one relative who warned me about what I was doing.

We didn't meet online, but the 'Net helped foster the erroneous perception that we were in love. Living with someone is an order of magnitude different than the clean, edited (consciously or not), and only partially revealing online presence two might share.
And what on earth does that have to do with orgasms? Or does sex have a different meaning for you than the rest of us?

And what on earth does that have to do with orgasms? Or does sex have a different meaning for you than the rest of us?

Nothing at all -- I have no idea what you're talking about. I never mentioned orgasms.

Much to my surprise, online dating (OKCupid) worked a treat for me, though i wasn't allowed to tell her friends how we met. Lasted nine months, we're still friends. Don't know if I'd do it again as I've had since reasonable success via more conventional routes, but you never know. It provided a much-needed boost to my confidence at the time.

Long distance will work for some people but by no means everyone's cut out for it. Sometimes that space is very helpful in developing a relationship.

Nothing at all -- I have no idea what you're talking about. I never mentioned orgasms.
What I said did.

You quoted my post about sex life and went on that long diatribe that has nothing even remotely to do with my post.

I sort of dated this girl online for a couple of years. Well, it was more like we were good friends that gradually went from only the usual chatting to more personal and serious talk, and alongside that the occasional virtual hug became daily touching and kissing. We would often meet up in this game we both played and just stand in a room and talk for hours. There was never any talk about making it real, it was just something nice we had online.

I'm not sure if that's a success story or not, but I enjoyed it. I'm incapable of dealing with human beings in real life, so that's probably the best I can ever hope for. I miss her. :(

I sort of dated this girl online for a couple of years. Well, it was more like we were good friends that gradually went from only the usual chatting to more personal and serious talk, and alongside that the occasional virtual hug became daily touching and kissing. We would often meet up in this game we both played and just stand in a room and talk for hours. There was never any talk about making it real, it was just something nice we had online.

I'm not sure if that's a success story or not, but I enjoyed it. I'm incapable of dealing with human beings in real life, so that's probably the best I can ever hope for. I miss her. :(

Don't be silly. If you can talk to whoever she was online, and do so intimately and with some success, you can talk to her in real life.

What you probably mean in saying that you are "incapable of dealing with human beings in real life" is that you don't really identify, or want to identify, with the average joe. There really isn't anything wrong with this either; you probably simply haven't met anybody who you do identify with.

I met my current gf on the internet, and we've now been dating for 2 months and we see each other every Saturday. :)

You guys just reminded me of something!!!

This is one of the funniest things I've ever read in my life. (http://iro.ragnarokonline.com/community/hallofhonor_view.asp?SeqNo=47&Page=1&Condition=cname&KeyWord=stormregion&mNum=0)

Would you do it? Have you done it? Any success stories out there about dating internet people?

I've done it, and right now I can say its working for me, its how I met my boyfriend of two years, and we couldn't be happier now....BTW, I'm a guy, keep flames to yourself or telegram my nation if that's a problem.
**dons flame-retardant suit**

I've done it, and right now I can say its working for me, its how I met my boyfriend of two years, and we couldn't be happier now....BTW, I'm a guy, keep flames to yourself or telegram my nation if that's a problem.
**dons flame-retardant suit**

Thou hast not been on NS General for long.

Don't be silly. If you can talk to whoever she was online, and do so intimately and with some success, you can talk to her in real life.

What you probably mean in saying that you are "incapable of dealing with human beings in real life" is that you don't really identify, or want to identify, with the average joe. There really isn't anything wrong with this either; you probably simply haven't met anybody who you do identify with.

No, I really do mean what I say. I'm 27 years old and have never had a friend and never had a giving conversation with anyone in real life. I never start conversations, I only answer questions. I'm sure you know the type. Spoken words have a way of taking me by surprise; I panic and can't find the right words. I often have no words at all.

I've met a few of my Internet friends in real life, including my closest friend that I've spent countless hours talking to over the years, but it was exactly the same. That is, a complete disaster that still gives me the occasional nightmare, years after. I'm thankful for the Internet because it lets me function much better socially.

Never have, never will in all likelihood. Besides, there's a girl I know who I plan to ask out early next semester (I'd ask her out now, but neither of us will have time due to finals next week).

(I'd ask her out now, but neither of us will have time due to finals next week).


Or perhaps someone just doesn't want to buy holiday gifts? :p

Well, at least that is why I would wait until next semester. Heh

No, I really do mean what I say. I'm 27 years old and have never had a friend and never had a giving conversation with anyone in real life. I never start conversations, I only answer questions. I'm sure you know the type. Spoken words have a way of taking me by surprise; I panic and can't find the right words. I often have no words at all.

I've met a few of my Internet friends in real life, including my closest friend that I've spent countless hours talking to over the years, but it was exactly the same. That is, a complete disaster that still gives me the occasional nightmare, years after. I'm thankful for the Internet because it lets me function much better socially.

Come on now, cheer up ! You might not realize it but people like you are essential to everyone else : your message just helped my self confidence a lot. When there's people like you, how could I worry about my proportionately negligeable social problems ? Thanks again and congratz on your 27 year old dedication to your miserable role in society. Keep it up !

OMG yes. That is so my story. The first online friend that I tried to turn into a real life friend. Well, let's just say that ended poorly.
I'm glad it turned out the way it did. Saved me a lot of nerves and even more money. :p

Not like you can't have a healthy sex life with someone long distance.

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/far_away.png

A friend of mine, met, married and moved to another country, all for some woman he met on the net.

Another friend of mine, met married, moved to another country, for a woman he met on the net and now is trying to get his wife back over here.

I'm glad it turned out the way it did. Saved me a lot of nerves and even more money. :p

What the hell? Since when does you talking about suicide to me on MSN make us friends? :rolleyes:

I wasn't talking about you. Stop acting like a nitwit and thinking everything in this world is directly connected to you.

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/far_away.png

Web cam.

*nods*

What the hell? Since when does you talking about suicide to me on MSN make us friends? :rolleyes:
Right. As if that was the only topic of our conversations. Memory loss is one of your specialties, no?
I wasn't talking about you. Stop acting like a nitwit and thinking everything in this world is directly connected to you.
Everything in this world is directly connected to me as long as I'm part of this world. :D

So nice to see you haven't changed your ways to the better. :p

whole idea is rather silly if you ask me. meeting someone online I suppose is ok but actually dating online seems like something you can do on sims with basically the same effects.

whole idea is rather silly if you ask me. meeting someone online I suppose is ok but actually dating online seems like something you can do on sims with basically the same effects.

So why exactly are you posting on this multi-user forum instead of typing your ideas into a text editor? It should have the same effects, yes?

So why exactly are you posting on this multi-user forum instead of typing your ideas into a text editor? It should have the same effects, yes?

you mean this isn't a text editor? I've been wasting my time here. besides, this isn't multi-user. Its just me and LG and his puppets, or should I say your puppets LG.

you mean this isn't a text editor? I've been wasting my time here. besides, this isn't multi-user. Its just me and LG and his puppets, or should I say your puppets LG.

Don't be silly, dear figment of my imagination.
And I post here because as a solipsist I like talking to myself.

My wife and I met after having found eachother in a chatroom.

Ah, geek love.

you mean this isn't a text editor? I've been wasting my time here. besides, this isn't multi-user. Its just me and LG and his puppets, or should I say your puppets LG.

Wait, how do we know you are not a puppet of LG?

Right. As if that was the only topic of our conversations. Memory loss is one of your specialties, no?

Everything in this world is directly connected to me as long as I'm part of this world. :D

So nice to see you haven't changed your ways to the better. :p

Really doesn't change the fact that you're some random creep who won't stop harrasing me does it?

Glad to know you've started in on me here too.

Can't you find someone else to stalk?

I met the girl I'm currently seeing after she randomly poked me on facebook. This is a first and she's still not provided an adequate reason for why she poked me. Or how she found me...

Met one girl over the Net. Very torrid affair which lasted 3 months and ended badly due to my blunders.

Never did it again after that. Found it was easier to talk to them in person. ;)