NationStates Jolt Archive

Before anybody comments, I deliberately called faux pas, "Paux Fas" to make a faux pas of itself. Just for fun.

Anyway, what was your greatest social blunder? Mine: I used the word "funner". Yes, terrible I know. When I said it a lady who overheard said: "you need grammar lessons" and the person I was talking to said: "that's wrong."

You're not very interesting, are you?

Ever since Bush started getting criticized for pronouncing nuclear wrong, I've been pronouncing it that way.

The biggest EVER? Too personal.

Telling a girl from school I liked her chest.
I meant vest, damnit!

Ever since Bush started getting criticized for pronouncing nuclear wrong, I've been pronouncing it that way.

The biggest EVER? Too personal.

I tend to use the word "misunderestmated" a LOT.

also, I don't always have that filter that other people do, you know the one where you say most of the sentence but you keep the really rude part to yourself? yeah, the smart ass rude part just comes out.....so I am not allowed to go to corporate dinners anymore. :(

also, I don't always have that filter that other people do, you know the one where you say most of the sentence but you keep the really rude part to yourself? yeah, the smart ass rude part just comes out.....so I am not allowed to go to corporate dinners anymore. :(

They have corporate dinners in Oklahoma?

see how I did that?

Hard to say. There are so many good ones to choose from. But my favorite recent one was when I made a physics joke and one of my friends took it as a fat joke.

I wore white to a black tie dinner.

I have never been more humiliated.

I was once dining with Lady Alexandra Etherington, when I picked up my lobster spork instead of my clam deflowerer.

Naturally, I left in disgrace.

Mine's good.

I was on my way to class when a girl and a classmate of hers who I already knew was blind asked me for directions to a specific classroom. My response:

"It's right here. The room numbers are easy to see."

Three seconds later I was looking for a hole to hide inside.

I was once dining with Lady Alexandra Etherington, when I picked up my lobster spork instead of my clam deflowerer.

Naturally, I left in disgrace.
Such a transgression of etiquette! I presume Lady Alexandria Etherington never invited you again.

I tend to use the word "misunderestmated" a LOT.

also, I don't always have that filter that other people do, you know the one where you say most of the sentence but you keep the really rude part to yourself? yeah, the smart ass rude part just comes out.....so I am not allowed to go to corporate dinners anymore. :(

I do that intentionally. I find the more abrasive you are the less people bug you.

Thinking that 'baisser' meant to kiss. Man, was I wrong on that front :(

Thinking that 'baisser' meant to kiss. Man, was I wrong on that front :(

Yeah, they're just a little different.

Language misuse is always fun. One of my favorite King of the Hill episodes features Peggy trading "caballo" for "caballero" when speaking to a Mexican judge.

Well, I was going up to the counter at McDonalds to ask for a ketchup packet because they were out in the normal spot for it, and I accidentally killed everyone in the building.

Well, I was going up to the counter at McDonalds to ask for a ketchup packet because they were out in the normal spot for it, and I accidentally killed everyone in the building.

I think that for there to be a faux pas, there have to be people left alive to notice the event.

Our science teacher used to write his s's like r's for some reason, and well you can guess why everyone was laughing at him when he was writing about bones on the board.

Well, I was going up to the counter at McDonalds to ask for a ketchup packet because they were out in the normal spot for it, and I accidentally killed everyone in the building.
I did that in a KFC :(

But "bones" does not contain a "t".

Whoops, sorry I meant s.

But "bones" does not contain a "t".

I am assuming he meant "s" instead of "t" or else his teacher is pretty dislexic.

Our science teacher used to write his t's like r's for some reason, and well you can guess why everyone was laughing at him when he was writing about bones on the board.

But "bones" does not contain a "t".

Well, I was going up to the counter at McDonalds to ask for a ketchup packet because they were out in the normal spot for it, and I accidentally killed everyone in the building.

best post ever

My senior year of high school, at the band senior recognition dinner, they called the seniors up one at a time, and gave us carnations to give to our mothers, well, I didn't know that. I just thought that they were giving us flowers for ourselves. So I clenched the carnation in between my teeth and returned to my seat, before roughly a thousand people.

My biggest faux pas has been getting up out of bed. After 31 years, I should know better. :p

I confused the game "The Suffering" with the game "Condemned". It might not sound so bad until you realize I was talking to nerds of the nerdiest variety. Such a horrible combo of bad info. and nerds.

When I was six or seven, my family and I went to a party after a wedding. Teh party was hosted by the newly-wed couple. I made the mistake of calling the neighborhood bad and commenting on the dirty state of the house. I think the nuclear power regulation guys got their house torn down or something. Too big a radio-active wmd, I guess.

Thinking that 'baisser' meant to kiss. Man, was I wrong on that front :(

I think you mean "baiser". "Baisser" means "to lower, to drop".

I sharted during a papal audience.

There was a one back in high school. Our econ class was having a test and I started whistling to myself. Everyone turned around to see who it was. Following the trend, I turned my head around to stare at the person behind me, so the class wouldn't know it was me. Of course, I forgot that I was sitting in the back, so I just ended up staring at a wall.

There was a one back in high school. Our econ class was having a test and I started whistling to myself. Everyone turned around to see who it was. Following the trend, I turned my head around to stare at the person behind me, so the class wouldn't know it was me. Of course, I forgot that I was sitting in the back, so I just ended up staring at a wall.LMAO!

Awesome.

I was once dining with Lady Alexandra Etherington, when I picked up my lobster spork instead of my clam deflowerer.

Naturally, I left in disgrace.

*monocle*

I was once dining with Lady Alexandra Etherington, when I picked up my lobster spork instead of my clam deflowerer.

Naturally, I left in disgrace.

*Hands Chumblywumbly a revolver and a bottle of whisky*
I think we both know what you need to do.


The son of a friend of mine once stayed round his girlfriends house. Unfortunately he had a really bad habit of sleepwalking particularly when drunk. On this particular night the girlfriend's father had fallen asleep on the sofa in the living room. He was rather rudely awakened by my friend's son urinating on his face (he was sleepwalking thinking he was in the toilet). Needless to say that particular relationship did not last long.

Before anybody comments, I deliberately called faux pas, "Paux Fas" to make a faux pas of itself. Just for fun.

Anyway, what was your greatest social blunder? Mine: I used the word "funner". Yes, terrible I know. When I said it a lady who overheard said: "you need grammar lessons" and the person I was talking to said: "that's wrong."

Hmmm.... the person that told you you need grammar lessons probably commited the bigger "paux fas". ;)

Telling a girl from school I liked her chest.
I meant vest, damnit!

Stupidest argument I ever got into with a woman was a former girlfriend who told me she was "an E cup". Instead of wisely agreeing, I pointed out that in Japan, bra cup sizes are inflated about two cup sizes and that she was closer to a large C. DOH! :headbang:

Yeah, they're just a little different.

Language misuse is always fun. One of my favorite King of the Hill episodes features Peggy trading "caballo" for "caballero" when speaking to a Mexican judge.

Oh, I've pulled a few in my time.

I once invited some Japanese friends to a "grilled milk party" trying to invite them to a BBQ, having confused the Japanese word for beef with milk.

I once got into an short argument with a friend who insisted I wasn't a carrot, like I claimed. I had meant to use human being. It was benificial - I will always remember that "ningen" is "human being" and "ninjin" is "carrot", no matter that one combining for of person is "-jin"... (>.<)

A friend during my homestay in Mexico shocked her homestay "parents" my telling them she was "embarasada" when she meant embarrassed.

But my all time greatest was forgetting that the Japanese word for "neice", unlike nephew, does not end in "ko". Oiko is nephew. Ome is neice. Fortunately my female friend had a sense of humor when, after showing her a cute picture of my nephew, I asked if she had a picture of her "omeko", or (rin rather crude Japanese), "kitty".

The son of a friend of mine once stayed round his girlfriends house. Unfortunately he had a really bad habit of sleepwalking particularly when drunk. On this particular night the girlfriend's father had fallen asleep on the sofa in the living room. He was rather rudely awakened by my friend's son urinating on his face (he was sleepwalking thinking he was in the toilet). Needless to say that particular relationship did not last long.

Reminds me why people who know me well, know not to disturb me when in a really deep sleep. An example: in college, I was staying over at a friends dorm room one night. he got up to take a leak and stepped over me. Still asleep, my reaction was to punch out at what I can only assume my sleeping mind deemed a threat. Unfortunately the "threat" in the midst of stepping over me when my fist shot straight up. :(

*monocle*
*harris tweed*

*Hands Chumblywumbly a revolver and a bottle of whisky*
I think we both know what you need to do.
I am just going outside, and may be some time.

Oh, I've pulled a few in my time.

I once invited some Japanese friends to a "grilled milk party" trying to invite them to a BBQ, having confused the Japanese word for beef with milk.

Ok, that one's just hilarious!

I once got into an short argument with a friend who insisted I wasn't a carrot, like I claimed. I had meant to use human being. It was benificial - I will always remember that "ningen" is "human being" and "ninjin" is "carrot", no matter that one combining for of person is "-jin"... (>.<)

Well, the mistake was very understandable in that case.

A friend during my homestay in Mexico shocked her homestay "parents" my telling them she was "embarasada" when she meant embarrassed.

*chuckles* Yeah, confusing pregnancy and embarrassment would make for an interesting evening.

But my all time greatest was forgetting that the Japanese word for "neice", unlike nephew, does not end in "ko". Oiko is nephew. Ome is neice. Fortunately my female friend had a sense of humor when, after showing her a cute picture of my nephew, I asked if she had a picture of her "omeko", or (rin rather crude Japanese), "kitty".

Somehow I suspect my adventures would be similarly comical if I went to Japan. And I hate kanji. Just throwing that out there.

When I was 9: during a game of dodgeball, loudly recommending to my teammates to target boys, as "girls aren't dangerous" and being immediately targeted, locked and hit by a girl.That's not a faux pas, that's poetic justice.

When I was 6: commenting when my parents' friends were leaving, "What lame guests, NO PRESENTS?"
When I was 7: improvising a short poem in my doctor's consulting room in which her name was rhyming with „cow”. My mother explained that I liked cows very much.
When I was 9: during a game of dodgeball, loudly recommending to my teammates to target boys, as "girls aren't dangerous" and being immediately targeted, locked and hit by a girl.
When I was 10: after I overheard my father mentioning cataract in conversation, asking him jokingly to decide whether he wants to discuss catarrh or act. He was talking about deceased friend.
When I was 12: during a family visit, complimenting the food by saying that the zucchini are actually quite tasteless. I wanted to say that they provide a very pleasant backround to the piquant flavour of... something else, alas, my voice was drowned in conversation.
When I was 14... enough.
Shit. I almost forgot how socially awkward I was.

That's not a faux pas, that's poetic justice.

I consider MY behaviour during that match one of the biggest social bellyflops I ever made :)

We were taking an exam, and naturally everyone was silent. Then I farted loudly.......... :D

We were taking an exam, and naturally everyone was silent. Then I farted loudly.......... :D

I had the same thing happened to me. and I had a big juicy fart, I mean you could actually feel it move through your boxers and pants. I just giggled and said "Well I guess that what you get for eating at Taco Bell for Breakfast."

:D

I let one rip during an exam because I knew no one would say anything during the exam.

Calling a particularly liquid jam Fruchtwasser...

(Fruit+water = amniotic fluid, see?)

I was once dining with Lady Alexandra Etherington, when I picked up my lobster spork instead of my clam deflowerer.

Naturally, I left in disgrace.
A very similar thing happened to me a few years back when I stabbed Colonel Geoffrey Hetherington in the eye with a pastry fork. Of course, I was mortified when I realised my mistake: the proper utensil for spontaneously blinding one's host is the crab fork.
Fortunately, the Colonel is a very understanding man, and he allowed me to conceal my faux pas by removing the pastry fork and inserting the proper implement before summoning his physician.

I let one rip during an exam because I knew no one would say anything during the exam.
They ddn't say anything after the exam?

Calling a particularly liquid jam Fruchtwasser...

(Fruit+water = amniotic fluid, see?)
No I don't. Unless you stuff the amniotic sac with lemons and strawberries.

After a student had been pestering me all day for her assignments back and came back to the staff room for the fifth time I said "bloody hell, you're a real slave driver" - probably not the best thing to say to an African student.

I had the same thing happened to me. and I had a big juicy fart, I mean you could actually feel it move through your boxers and pants.

That is rather unfortunately phrased - 'we' could feel *your* fart moving through 'our' boxers and pants? That must have been quite the killer fart.


No I don't. Unless you stuff the amniotic sac with lemons and strawberries.

We call the fetus the Leibesfrucht, the "fruit of the body". Well, my grandmother's doctor might have, anyway.

Calling a particularly liquid jam Fruchtwasser...

(Fruit+water = amniotic fluid, see?)

That reminds me of one an old Aussie friend told me about.

He had lived in Thailand for several years and spoke quite good Thai. He was in a restaurant when a loud and rather obnoxious western tourist who hadn't quit managed the tonal system in the Thai language was ordering. He wanted to order tea with sugar in it, but instead ordered tea with (insert a rather crude word for vaginal fluid here). The poor waitress had no idea what he wanted and they went back and forth with the tourist getting louder and louder. Finally, she went back to the kitchen and told the cook what the guy wanted. The cook burst out laughing and shouted "Well then squat over the cup and get to work!"

Unless you stuff the amniotic sac with lemons and strawberries.

Doesn't everyone? :confused:

I was once dining with Lady Alexandra Etherington, when I picked up my lobster spork instead of my clam deflowerer.
Am I a bit dim here or is the phrase, 'clam deflowerer' a euphemism for a man's body part?

Or am I the only one juvenile-enough here to think such things?

After a student had been pestering me all day for her assignments back and came back to the staff room for the fifth time I said "bloody hell, you're a real slave driver" - probably not the best thing to say to an African student.
very true. You should have said "real slave driver's offspring". That would have been far less embarassing for the both fo you.

Or am I the only one juvenile-enough here to think such things?
You’re the only one here obviously not fit for high society.

A clam deflowerer is a gentleman’s constant companion.

Beside one’s cravat plumpener, of course.

I'm not sure, but apparently I made faux pas the other day when I let slip that my daughter was living with me. She became quite upset about this. I guess there's something wrong about a daughter still living with mom after she's graduated from college. In any case, she claimed that I embarrassed her (though I suspect that almost everything I do is an embarrassment to her).

I'm not sure, but apparently I made faux pas the other day when I let slip that my daughter was living with me. She became quite upset about this. I guess there's something wrong about a daughter still living with mom after she's graduated from college. In any case, she claimed that I embarrassed her (though I suspect that almost everything I do is an embarrassment to her).

She's taking advantage of your generosity and bitching about it?

Nice

I'm not sure, but apparently I made faux pas the other day when I let slip that my daughter was living with me. She became quite upset about this. I guess there's something wrong about a daughter still living with mom after she's graduated from college. In any case, she claimed that I embarrassed her (though I suspect that almost everything I do is an embarrassment to her).

It's her own fault, to be honest. :p

A couple of nights ago, a housemate of mine got home from a long weekend, another housemate asked if the first had had a good weekend. Housemate one replied non-committedly, and the second said a really sarcastic "A very good weekend, then?". I turned to that guy and said "She's been home to visit her mother in hospital", whereupon he looked mortified.

I've done that sort of thing before, but I tend to block it out.