NationStates Jolt Archive

MI6 seeks budding Bonds through Radio 1

The Secret Intelligence Service, more commonly known as MI6, is mounting a recruitment drive this week to attract budding James Bonds, though without the licence to kill.

...which makes it rather pointless really.

The MI6 website presents a picture of a cuddlier and more family-friendly organisation than some might suspect and it insists the organisation never uses torture. It does, however, mention Bond.

...specifically when he tortured that Arab in A View to a Kill

You do not have to be academically brilliant to spy for Britain.

Well, this is a government job...

The MI6 website points out that as an operational officer you "may have to use a cover story". It offers online exercises to test your espionage skills. In one, the reader is given two minutes to digest information about a covert mission in the imaginary country of Transeuratania, and 10 seconds to answer questions about it.

So, I therefore deduce the MI6 feels Transylvania is the major threat to our future, vampires anyone?

Here's the test (http://www.mi6.gov.uk/output/Page602.html)

Do you have what it takes to be a spy, what would be your preferred torture method, not that MI6 condones torture but just ascertaining your thoughts...for the paperwork old chap.

I wouldn't mind being a spy for the CIA. But I doubt I would pass the physical exam. :(

I got a 5 on the test :(

Driver's License...License to Kill...

Same thing.

I wouldn't mind being a spy for the CIA. But I doubt I would pass the physical exam. :(

Pussy Wilgrove: I'm Mr. Goldfinger's personal pilot.
James Bond: Oh? Just how personal is that?
Pussy Wilgrove: I'm a damn good pilot. Period.

I got a 5 on the test :(

James Bond: Shocking! Positively shocking!

Driver's License...License to Kill...

Same thing.

[Gesturing to a crushed car]
Auric Goldfinger: Forgive me, Mr. Bann-ed, but, uh... I must arrange to separate my gold from the late Mr. Solo.
James Bann-ed: As you said, he had a pressing engagement.

All responses from Goldfinger.

Pussy Wilgrove: I'm Mr. Goldfinger's personal pilot.
James Bond: Oh? Just how personal is that?
Pussy Wilgrove: I'm a damn good pilot. Period.



James Bond: Shocking! Positively shocking!



[Gesturing to a crushed car]
Auric Goldfinger: Forgive me, Mr. Bann-ed, but, uh... I must arrange to separate my gold from the late Mr. Solo.
James Bann-ed: As you said, he had a pressing engagement.

All responses from Goldfinger.

Genius.:p

Woo I got a 7.

I got an 8. What's the highest score you can get?

I got an 8. What's the highest score you can get?I'm guessing eight, seeing as how there are only eight questions. :p

I think I got her brothers name wrong. I don't recall it even saying what it was...

I'm guessing eight, seeing as how there are only eight questions. :p

I think I got her brothers name wrong. I don't recall it even saying what it was...

Hint:The Brother will have the same last name.

I'm guessing eight, seeing as how there are only eight questions. :p

I think I got her brothers name wrong. I don't recall it even saying what it was...

I don't think it did. You probably had to make one up based on your assumed last name. They want spies to keep on their toes.

Yes... I chose the same last name.

So I guess I got that one right. Now I must find out which I got wrong...

Yes... I chose the same last name.

So I guess I got that one right. Now I must find out which I got wrong...

Too late now. You've blown your cover.

Yes... I chose the same last name.

So I guess I got that one right. Now I must find out which I got wrong...

Sir Hilary Bray: Our methods are very exacting. We never like to speak until we're *absolutely* certain that there can be no possibility of error on our side or... forgery on anyone else's.
James Bond: I hope I can live up to your high standards.

I got an 8. What's the highest score you can get?

Honey Wilgrove: Did I do wrong?
James Bond: Well, it wouldn't do to make a habit of it.

Too late now. You've blown your cover.

Dr. No: [to Bann-ed] Unfortunately I overestimated you, you are just a stupid police man...
[metal door opens and guards enter]
Dr. No: ...whose luck has run out.

All responses from Dr. No
Actually, the first is On Her Majesty's Secret Service - I couldn't find a matching quote for the others there, even given my very low standards

Hm. I thought that test would be more difficult than it was for me.

Hm. I thought that test would be more difficult than it was for me.

I was also disappointed.

I suspect they're going for quantity over quality in order to get a diverse range - they can easily find the well-qualified from universities. In America, I think Middlebury gets regular visits from foreign affairs due to its language courses, I'm sure the likes of Harvard, or Cambridge for the UK, are also often contacted.

I was also disappointed.

I suspect they're going for quantity over quality in order to get a diverse range - they can easily find the well-qualified from universities. In America, I think Middlebury gets regular visits from foreign affairs due to its language courses, I'm sure the likes of Harvard, or Cambridge for the UK, are also often contacted.

I suppose so. Ah, well. It's not as if they're going to be contacting me about a position.

I suppose so. Ah, well. It's not as if they're going to be contacting me about a position.

Given you're from Texas, no, I suppose not :)

Given you're from Texas, no, I suppose not :)

What if they wanted a firecracker as an agent? One who makes a lot of noise to distract from other agents? :p

I scored a seven. I would have scored an eight had I paid more attention to the company name.

3

What if they wanted a firecracker as an agent? One who makes a lot of noise to distract from other agents? :p

Well, until Texas decides to secede from the US and join England, I'm afraid Mr. Hotrodia is ineligible for MI6, there was no slur on Texas intended.

3

Rather high for you, did you cheat or is this simply lucky rolling of the dice?

Here's the test (http://www.mi6.gov.uk/output/Page602.html)
.
Fuck yeah! Scored 8 stoned off my ass!!! Whoot!

Fuck yeah! Scored 8 stoned off my ass!!! Whoot!

Dude. No more crack for you.

Fuck yeah! Scored 8 stoned off my ass!!! Whoot!

A quote for your next conquest then:

Log Cabin Girl: But James, I need you!
James Bond: So does England!

One glorious day, I will use this line, oh yes, I will use it.

James Bond is so overrated.

Real spies use shoe-phones.

http://media.npr.org/tv/2005/donadamsshoephone200.jpg

James Bond is so overrated.

Real spies use shoe-phones.

http://media.npr.org/tv/2005/donadamsshoephone200.jpg

Oh please, they'd use their Mojo to defeat the fembots, and dress in flamboyant clothes!

http://www.solarnavigator.net/films_movies_actors/film_images/Austin_Danger_Powers_Mike_Myers.jpg

Oh please, they'd use their Mojo to defeat the fembots, and dress in flamboyant clothes!

http://www.solarnavigator.net/films_movies_actors/film_images/Austin_Danger_Powers_Mike_Myers.jpg

That all sounds find, but the risk of unfortunate schmelting accidents is too high.

That all sounds find, but the risk of unfortunate schmelting accidents is too high.

Yea but if you love Goooooollllldddd it wouldn't be an 'accident'. More like a happy coincidence!

Rather high for you, did you cheat or is this simply lucky rolling of the dice?

It's the pot and cheap wine, I swear!

How did this intricate philosophical debate devolve into a discussion on Austin Powers?

Too much freedom for the masses merely panders to the lowest common denominator, that's how :mad:

Austin Powers: Oh, smashing, groovy, yay capitalism!

How did this intricate philosophical debate devolve into a discussion on Austin Powers?

Too much freedom for the masses merely panders to the lowest common denominator, that's how :mad:

Oh don't be a downer baby, you just need to let loose and swing, yea baby yea!

It's the pot and cheap wine, I swear!

Given the low standards, your score actually qualifies you for MI6, alas, your willingness to do anything, and I mean anything, for some pot and cheap wine means you're better suited to being a politician.

All clowns are covert operatives.

Except for me, of course.

<.<

>.>

:D

All clowns are covert operatives.

Except for me, of course.

<.<

>.>

:D

Masters of disguise no less

Spot the hidden clown (http://www.ultramicroscopic.com/images4/ClownHouseBig.jpg)

Masters of disguise no less

Spot the hidden clown (http://www.ultramicroscopic.com/images4/ClownHouseBig.jpg)

And lethal combatants:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bksiiivwTLA

Masters of disguise no less

Spot the hidden clown (http://www.ultramicroscopic.com/images4/ClownHouseBig.jpg)

But why spot the clown when you can spot the looney (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJ10rvkaJxM)?

Also, shame on you, youtube, for deleting all the good versions. :(

Beware of the naked, mud-covered clown bearing tacos.
-Old proverb probably used by somneone, somewhere.

But why spot the clown when you can spot the looney (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJ10rvkaJxM)?

Also, shame on you, youtube, for deleting all the good versions. :(

I'm afraid I'm calling Goofball's on this thread - As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of LG involving clowns or clowning approaches one.

But why spot the clown when you can spot the looney (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJ10rvkaJxM)?

Also, shame on you, youtube, for deleting all the good versions. :(

The audio is a bit harsh, but it's better than yours:



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQmFMXkhXPY

I've seen both, and the audio really sucks on the alternative. :(

I'm afraid I'm calling Goofball's on this thread - As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of LG involving clowns or clowning approaches one.

http://www.abestweb.com/smilies/insane.gif