NationStates Jolt Archive

So somehow I've noticed that it's unusual that I often feel pain from hugs, as other people don't seem to.

In my anatomy class a while back we did an activity where we tested our sensitivity at different body parts (I think we did back of the neck, back of the hand, palm, fingertip, nose, lip, and wrist). I was more sensitive than pretty much anyone else. My anatomy teacher also said that most people aren't aware of their clothes most of the time.

I usually am. Maybe this is why I don't like to wear clothes that leave my legs or shoulders uncovered, because then I'm constantly aware of the lack of clothes there?

What do you think? Is it really unusual for hugs to hurt? Is it a problem? Have any of you experienced anything similar?

If someone is squeezing you so tightly that your ribs feel like they're going to pop, it's them, not you.

I don't think I have ever been hugged painfully.
However, I either have a good tolerance for pain, or I ignore it. I am not entirely sure which.

Emotionally, mine hurt all the time with a certain somebody.:(

have you ever been tested for sensory integration problems? one of my kids has some sensory issues and things that don't bother "most people" really freaking annoy her, like she can't wear socks with seams (I have to knit seamless socks for her) and she can't have tags in her clothes or painted pencils because they hurt her.

have you ever been tested for sensory integration problems? one of my kids has some sensory issues and things that don't bother "most people" really freaking annoy her, like she can't wear socks with seams (I have to knit seamless socks for her) and she can't have tags in her clothes or painted pencils because they hurt her.

No, I haven't been tested for that.

If someone is squeezing you so tightly that your ribs feel like they're going to pop, it's them, not you.

They don't even always squeeze tightly, but sometimes if someone just touches my shoulder it'll hurt for a while.

You don't have an autism spectrum disorder, perchance? Hugs "hurting" or being "uncomfortable" isn't that unusual for sufferers, as they can be overly sensitive to touch.

You don't have an autism spectrum disorder, perchance? Hugs "hurting" or being "uncomfortable" isn't that unusual for sufferers.

Not that I know of but I don't know.

*hugs Chandelier*

If that hurt, there is a serious problem.
If not, it might just be a semi-minor issue.

No, I haven't been tested for that.
there isn't much of a test other than talking to your doctor, and the treatment can vary from counseling to just not doing things that bother you. You should talk to your doctor though, it might be something more treatable.

Not that I know of but I don't know.

Not to be presumptuous, but in your postings I have noticed a peculiarity of sorts, and several idiosyncrasies not only when you describe your social interaction with others, but when you interact with people here. Of course, this is only the Internet and I have no clue about you at all, but you might want to consider being assessed.

there isn't much of a test other than talking to your doctor, and the treatment can vary from counseling to just not doing things that bother you. You should talk to your doctor though, it might be something more treatable.

Yeah, I'll ask him about it next time I have a check-up, I guess.

*hugs Chandelier*

If that hurt, there is a serious problem.
If not, it might just be a semi-minor issue.

No, that didn't hurt. :)

Now when people try to tickle me online it's a different story. ;) :eek:

have you ever been tested for sensory integration problems? one of my kids has some sensory issues and things that don't bother "most people" really freaking annoy her, like she can't wear socks with seams (I have to knit seamless socks for her) and she can't have tags in her clothes or painted pencils because they hurt her.

Wow...that's one strange kid....honestly, I'm intrigued though as to what would cause such sensitivity?

I don't think they are, but I don't like them very much either so I only have everyone else's experiences to go on.

No, that didn't hurt. :)

Good. :)
Now when people try to tickle me online it's a different story. ;) :eek:
*loads feather shotgun*

Not to be presumptuous, but in your postings I have noticed a peculiarity of sorts, and several idiosyncrasies not only when you describe your social interaction with others, but when you interact with people here. Of course, this is only the Internet and I have no clue about you at all, but you might want to consider being assessed.

Do you think I should ask my doctor about it then or something?

I hug my dad very hard. I'll squeeze him, and give him a few hard thumps on the back that are more like whacks. Dunno, but it feels right. I'll growl something like "HUG! DAD! GRAWRGRHG!!" :D

With everyone else, it's nice and gentle with some pats.

I don't really know why I pay people's backs when I hug them. It feels right, too.

Good. :)

:)

*loads feather shotgun*

Oh no! :eek:

I hug my dad very hard. I'll squeeze him, and give him a few hard thumps on the back that are more like whacks. Dunno, but it feels right. I'll growl something like "HUG! DAD! GRAWRGRHG!!" :D

:p

I generally crack my dad's back when I hug him, and he usually does the same to me.

With everyone else, it's nice and gentle with some pats.

I don't really know why I pay people's backs when I hug them. It feels right, too.
Same.

Wow...that's one strange kid....honestly, I'm intrigued though as to what would cause such sensitivity?

there are a lot of theories of why that would happen, from emotional problems, to anxiety, to autism, to an undefined neurological issue. Right now we aren't sure, but I am just trying to accommodate her as best I can. It's not really that big of a deal most of the time, it's something you get used to.

Ugh. </tired in both a general and specific sense>

Not to be presumptuous, but in your postings I have noticed a peculiarity of sorts, and several idiosyncrasies not only when you describe your social interaction with others, but when you interact with people here. Of course, this is only the Internet and I have no clue about you at all, but you might want to consider being assessed.

Really? I didn't notice anything.
That's either a good sign for Chandelier or a bad sign for me.

Do you think I should ask my doctor about it then or something?

Yeah, I'd advise that, Chandy. Hugs are supposed to feel good, not hurt.

:p

I generally crack my dad's back when I hug him, and he usually does the same to me.


Same.
I believe I have found my hug Doppelganger in Bann-ed. Come, my brother, let us mimic each other in hugs, and confuse everyone we hug a lot!

I believe I have found my hug Doppelganger in Bann-ed. Come, my brother, let us mimic each other in hugs, and confuse everyone we hug a lot!

*goes out into the world, sowing confusion with every hug*

Yep, I have sensory integration problems too. I got a lot of therapy for it when I was a kid, and I'm more or less normal now. I used to have to cut the tags off my clothing.

Why are you talking to the internet instead of a doctor? Seriously...

*goes out into the world, sowing confusion with every hug*
*evil cackle*

Who knew that hugging could be so dastardly!

Do you think I should ask my doctor about it then or something?

If it bothers you enough, I suppose. If you're happy the way you are, then...

I hug my dad very hard. I'll squeeze him, and give him a few hard thumps on the back that are more like whacks. Dunno, but it feels right. I'll growl something like "HUG! DAD! GRAWRGRHG!!" :I do that too. One Thanksgiving a few years back consisted of me chasing him yelling "BUT I WANT TO GIVE YOU A HUGGIE!" and my mom yelling "Put your father down! You're going to hurt him!


I don't really know why I pay people's backs when I hug them. It feels right, too.
seems to be a guy thing

:eek: Dear God! I hope sex doesn't hurt?!

Goodbye thread, you once had an interesting direction and purpose, but no longer.

Goodbye thread, you once had an interesting direction and purpose, but no longer.

Awww, feeling ignored are you?

*hugs*

So somehow I've noticed that it's unusual that I often feel pain from hugs, as other people don't seem to.

In my anatomy class a while back we did an activity where we tested our sensitivity at different body parts (I think we did back of the neck, back of the hand, palm, fingertip, nose, lip, and wrist). I was more sensitive than pretty much anyone else. My anatomy teacher also said that most people aren't aware of their clothes most of the time.

I usually am. Maybe this is why I don't like to wear clothes that leave my legs or shoulders uncovered, because then I'm constantly aware of the lack of clothes there?

What do you think? Is it really unusual for hugs to hurt? Is it a problem? Have any of you experienced anything similar?

I am very wary of hugs. I like hugs where we put our arms around each other and squeeze just enough to show we mean it.

People who hug me without noticing that they are squeezing too hard, really would be better off not hugging me at all. It makes me feel like they are trying to prove their strength or something, and a hug which is too casual is hardly better than assault.

Kinda the same with handshakes. Fit the hands together and squeeze, but when the other person stops squeezing harder, you ought to stop too. Just delivering "your" handshake shows that you really aren't paying any attention to the other person.

You don't have an autism spectrum disorder, perchance? Hugs "hurting" or being "uncomfortable" isn't that unusual for sufferers, as they can be overly sensitive to touch.

Noted.

Do you think I should ask my doctor about it then or something?

It doesn't hurt to see a doctor, does it?

Doctors can't force treatment on you (unless you are certifiable, unable to make that decision for yourself -- which you ARE NOT.)

Think of it as "asking an expert, about something you are curious about."

Yeah, I'd advise that, Chandy. Hugs are supposed to feel good, not hurt.

If ALL hugs are unpleasant, then yes I agree. If it's only SOME hugs, those could just be bad hugs ... abusive hugs even.

Yep, I have sensory integration problems too. I got a lot of therapy for it when I was a kid, and I'm more or less normal now. I used to have to cut the tags off my clothing.

I'm 43, and I still do. I also hate meaningless noises, ugly pictures, and unidentifiable tastes.

Being open to the senses is a great gift, but it limits the environment one is comfortable in.

Seeking a gentle and beautiful -- and above all, comprehensible -- environment is a better solution than "growing a thicker skin."

Why are you talking to the internet instead of a doctor? Seriously...

Seconded.
NSG doesn't solve problems, we make them. :p

If it bothers you enough, I suppose. If you're happy the way you are, then...

Best advice yet.

I could almost certainly have a diagnosis of some kind of Autism Spectrum Disorder (probably mild Aspergher's) but I prefer to think of myself as Just Me.

:eek: Dear God! I hope sex doesn't hurt?!

That's a kind of personal question.

Dryks L, now I feel like an utter hypocrit.

*offers hug*

You don't have an autism spectrum disorder, perchance? Hugs "hurting" or being "uncomfortable" isn't that unusual for sufferers, as they can be overly sensitive to touch.

that was my first thought, too

my answer to the OP: hugs don't hurt.

have you ever been tested for sensory integration problems? one of my kids has some sensory issues and things that don't bother "most people" really freaking annoy her, like she can't wear socks with seams (I have to knit seamless socks for her) and she can't have tags in her clothes or painted pencils because they hurt her.
i used to be like that. i always got my mum to cut out any labels in my clothes because they irritated and sometimes hurt me. i've gotten better with age, but i still have to put my socks on right (ie seams where they're supposed to be) or i'll be aware of them all the time and get irritated. doesn't hurt though...

most of my problems were to do with very sensitive vision (went to people for this and all), however. i'll fairly often wear sunglasses inside or on cloudy days because its too bright and stuff. and i'm sensitive to sound, too... can't cut out sounds (so having a conversation at a pub is impossible) and get really irritated with sounds i can't control as a result

I also have some sensitivity issues. Mine stem from a skin disease that is usually dormant but still leaves me hypersensitive. You should definately see a doctor because its better to get this treated now rather than waiting until it is a more serious problem. Whatever it is you will be surprised at how many people are just like you. Also, try getting some good scrub pants like nurses wear. You can get them at Walmart (if you are not a hippie) and they run pretty cheap. By far the most comfortable pants ever.

There are several known conditions that produce hypersensitivity to touch.

Fibromyalgia
Neuralgia and other Neuropathies
Allodynia

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allodynia

Talk to your doctor!

... try getting some good scrub pants like nurses wear. You can get them at Walmart (if you are not a hippie) and they run pretty cheap. By far the most comfortable pants ever.

Except for what real hippies wear ... NO pants. :D

Good post, and I like your name.

Hug realted randomness: I'm going to bring a sign that says 'Free Hugs' to my christmas exams. :)

:eek: Dear God! I hope sex doesn't hurt?!

Haven't tried it, don't plan to...

Yep, I have sensory integration problems too. I got a lot of therapy for it when I was a kid, and I'm more or less normal now. I used to have to cut the tags off my clothing.

Why are you talking to the internet instead of a doctor? Seriously...

I wasn't sure if it was a problem.

If it bothers you enough, I suppose. If you're happy the way you are, then...

All right. That sounds like good advice.


It doesn't hurt to see a doctor, does it?

Doctors can't force treatment on you (unless you are certifiable, unable to make that decision for yourself -- which you ARE NOT.)

Think of it as "asking an expert, about something you are curious about."


All right. I may as well ask about it next time I go to the doctor anyway.


If ALL hugs are unpleasant, then yes I agree. If it's only SOME hugs, those could just be bad hugs ... abusive hugs even.


It's most hugs. The only person whose hugs don't really hurt me at all is one of my brothers.


I'm 43, and I still do. I also hate meaningless noises, ugly pictures, and unidentifiable tastes.

Being open to the senses is a great gift, but it limits the environment one is comfortable in.

Seeking a gentle and beautiful -- and above all, comprehensible -- environment is a better solution than "growing a thicker skin."


I'm pretty good at tuning noises out when I don't want to hear them, but I do like being able to identify what I taste. So my sandwiches usually have a bunch of seemingly random things so that I can taste each flavor distinctly.

Hug realted randomness: I'm going to bring a sign that says 'Free Hugs' to my christmas exams.

Heehee. :)

Heehee. :)

I suspect it will make the tests less of a pain in the ass :)

I suspect it will make the tests less of a pain in the ass :)

Good luck then. :)

I love hugs :)

Would anyone like one? :fluffle:

Would anyone like one? :fluffle:
Really?

I had been hugged only a few times in my lifetime. :(

I love hugs :)

Would anyone like one? :fluffle:

As a freshly dunked Hobo, I accept your "silk-setting" hug!

:fluffle:

You weren't hugging bears, were you? :p

You weren't hugging bears, were you? :p

Since that is directed to apparently no-one, I hereby hug your teddy-bear!

:fluffle:

Really?

I had been hugged only a few times in my lifetime. :(

Of course, hugs are for all :)

You weren't hugging bears, were you? :p

No, I wasn't. :p

Maybe you're overthinking it. It shouldn't be so much "ach, my spinal column" so much as "aww, that's nice of you". But there we go.

:eek: Dear God! I hope sex doesn't hurt?!
It does, but in a good way.

*Hugs, in a good way*

:fluffle:

Maybe you're overthinking it. It shouldn't be so much "ach, my spinal column" so much as "aww, that's nice of you". But there we go.

Sometimes it is nice but most of the time it's at least uncomfortable and often at least slightly painful.

Hugs aren't supposed to hurt, are they?

Depends on whether or not you're sadistic/masochistic

I'm gonna hug you and kiss you and love you forever!
http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/f/f3/300px-Elmyra-Duff.jpg

If you're a giant robot fighting a more fragile giant robot... then it still wouldn't hurt because robots don't feel pain.

:confused:

If you're a giant robot fighting a more fragile giant robot... then it still wouldn't hurt because robots don't feel pain.

Sometimes it is nice but most of the time it's at least uncomfortable and often at least slightly painful.
Aww. Loosen up a wee bit, you'll enjoy them more :)

I just went through a relationship, which i dumped her. I keep remembering past thoughts of us hugging and dang it hurts.

I just went through a relationship, which i dumped her. I keep remembering past thoughts of us hugging and dang it hurts.

so don't

:confused:

It's true!

It's true!

Perhaps, but I have no idea what that has to do with this thread...

Perhaps, but I have no idea what that has to do with this thread...

You asked whether hugs were supposed to hurt. I imagined a giant robot using a crushing hug-attack on another giant robot, but then realised that the robot wouldn't have a nervous system.

Perhaps, but I have no idea what that has to do with this thread...

And you been around long enough to know better than to expect discussions to stay on topic all the time

You asked whether hugs were supposed to hurt. I imagined a giant robot using a crushing hug-attack on another giant robot, but then realised that the robot wouldn't have a nervous system.

Ah, I see. That does make a bit more sense.

And you been around long enough to know better than to expect discussions to stay on topic all the time

I know they don't always stay on topic, I just wasn't sure how it jumped from hugs to robots.

And while we're off topic, then... am I the only one who finds it ironic that identical twins were both nominees for "Most Unique" on the senior superlative ballot at my school? :confused:

And while we're off topic, then... am I the only one who finds it ironic that identical twins were both nominees for "Most Unique" on the senior superlative ballot at my school? :confused:

If you are then you're surrounded by idiots, which you might be anyways based on that

If you are then you're surrounded by idiots, which you might be anyways based on that

Well, my AP Government teacher did mention that it was ironic... but then he wouldn't have been one of the people choosing who to put on the ballots...

Aww. Loosen up a wee bit, you'll enjoy them more

But I'm sore from them sometimes. :(

But I'm sore from them sometimes. :(

so loosen up and give air hugs?

so loosen up and give air hugs?

If people are trying to hug me they probably won't accept an air hug. :(

cough on them they'll keep their distance :rolleyes:
:fluffle::fluffle::fluffle:

*coughs* :p

If people are trying to hug me they probably won't accept an air hug. :(

cough on them they'll keep their distance :rolleyes:
:fluffle::fluffle::fluffle:

If people are trying to hug me they probably won't accept an air hug. :(

Then pistol whip them.
I mean...politely explain why you would prefer to hug from a foot away.

*coughs* :p

*air hugs Chandelier*
:fluffle:

Then pistol whip them.
I mean...politely explain why you would prefer to hug from a foot away.

Hehee. Ok. :)

*air hugs Chandelier*
:fluffle:

*air hugs back* :)

Then pistol whip them.
I mean...politely explain why you would prefer to hug from a foot away.

...and by politely explain why you would prefer to hug from a foot away, I mean pistol whip them.

lulz, to answer the question...

No I don't think that hugs are supposed to hurt...

So somehow I've noticed that it's unusual that I often feel pain from hugs, as other people don't seem to.

In my anatomy class a while back we did an activity where we tested our sensitivity at different body parts (I think we did back of the neck, back of the hand, palm, fingertip, nose, lip, and wrist). I was more sensitive than pretty much anyone else. My anatomy teacher also said that most people aren't aware of their clothes most of the time.

I usually am. Maybe this is why I don't like to wear clothes that leave my legs or shoulders uncovered, because then I'm constantly aware of the lack of clothes there?

What do you think? Is it really unusual for hugs to hurt? Is it a problem? Have any of you experienced anything similar?

Cmon silly, hugs don't hurt. (http://www.all4humor.com/images/files/Tiger%20Hug.jpg) :p

I just went through a relationship, which i dumped her. I keep remembering past thoughts of us hugging and dang it hurts.

Good. If she'd dumped you, you could at least feel anger or resentment. You don't have that, and it serves you right for dumping her.

=================

Perhaps, but I have no idea what that has to do with this thread...

This thread is about you. Isn't it?
It's another "pay attention to my experience everybody" thread, right? ;)

If people are trying to hug me they probably won't accept an air hug. :(

If people are trying to hug you and you don't want it, cross your arms in front of you, turn away if necessary. Say very clearly "no, I don't want a hug" if they don't respond to that. If you don't want hugs, you are fully within your rights to treat them as sexual assault, or just plain assault. If someone tries to force your arms open and force you to expose your body to them, and they aren't stopping when you've clearly told them to, kick them as hard as you can, right between the legs. Man or woman, kick them right in the genitals.

Even placing money in your hand can be avoided by exchanging money on a counter or handy barrel-head. Even a doctor requires your permission to touch you. Anyone who brushes against you in a crowded area owes you an apology if you object.

NO-ONE has a right to touch you in any way, without your permission. "It's just a hug" is not a reason which outweighs your preference. One brings at least part of one's front into contact with another, and is also within that person's grasp. People hugging each other are in a very vulnerable position to each other. It's an intimate thing, and consent is absolutely essential.

You have the right to refuse a hug. End of story.

So somehow I've noticed that it's unusual that I often feel pain from hugs, as other people don't seem to.

In my anatomy class a while back we did an activity where we tested our sensitivity at different body parts (I think we did back of the neck, back of the hand, palm, fingertip, nose, lip, and wrist). I was more sensitive than pretty much anyone else. My anatomy teacher also said that most people aren't aware of their clothes most of the time.

I usually am. Maybe this is why I don't like to wear clothes that leave my legs or shoulders uncovered, because then I'm constantly aware of the lack of clothes there?

What do you think? Is it really unusual for hugs to hurt? Is it a problem? Have any of you experienced anything similar?
Hugs hurt? Something must be wrong with you.

Hugs hurt? Something must be wrong with you.

Any suggestions what?


This thread is about you. Isn't it?
It's another "pay attention to my experience everybody" thread, right? ;)

Or hugs hurting at least. I didn't see what robots fighting had to do with hugs at all... now I get what he meant though.


If people are trying to hug you and you don't want it, cross your arms in front of you, turn away if necessary. Say very clearly "no, I don't want a hug" if they don't respond to that. If you don't want hugs, you are fully within your rights to treat them as sexual assault, or just plain assault. If someone tries to force your arms open and force you to expose your body to them, and they aren't stopping when you've clearly told them to, kick them as hard as you can, right between the legs. Man or woman, kick them right in the genitals.

Even placing money in your hand can be avoided by exchanging money on a counter or handy barrel-head. Even a doctor requires your permission to touch you. Anyone who brushes against you in a crowded area owes you an apology if you object.

NO-ONE has a right to touch you in any way, without your permission. "It's just a hug" is not a reason which outweighs your preference. One brings at least part of one's front into contact with another, and is also within that person's grasp. People hugging each other are in a very vulnerable position to each other. It's an intimate thing, and consent is absolutely essential.

You have the right to refuse a hug. End of story.

Ok. I know.

*snip reply to HA*

Or hugs hurting at least. I didn't see what robots fighting had to do with hugs at all... now I get what he meant though.


OK, I see it too. Didn't follow it the first time

Hugs can be wonderful, and give you a lasting sense of comfort. They can also be rough or insulting, and leave you feeling worse or at a disadvantage.

Handshakes are similar, but it's easier to tell what's happening because it's just at one end of an arm. You can suddenly lose trust in a person from a handshake, but a good handshake is a comfort, a boost to trust.

Some people offer to shake hands when declining a hug. I was like that. I'm not seeing a lot of that on the street or in the modern media, so perhaps it's a little oldfashioned ...

Hugs aren't supposed to hurt. Are you bothered by hugs otherwise?

With everyone else, it's nice and gentle with some pats.

I don't really know why I pay people's backs when I hug them. It feels right, too.That way it's like "I'm huggin' ya, but I'm hittin' ya." - some comedian

Speaking as someone with an autism spectrum disorder (and who was apparently loathe to any form of touch as a younger child, but now gently hug all and sundry), the mention of this in this context makes me happy because it displays awareness of the connection, which too many don't have.

Hypersensitivity is likely to be the issue here, especially if you have certain other sensory reactions (to take examples that I have; a dislike of sauces and spicy foods; discomfort in the presence of flashing/moving lights including but not limited to strobes). This may or may not relate to an autistic spectrum disorder.

It's worth considering every option, in my opinion. I'm gladdened that this thread mentioned one in particular.

Hugs aren't supposed to hurt. Are you bothered by hugs otherwise?


They are a little bit uncomfortable but when they don't hurt they can sometimes be good.

Sometimes there's a big difference between gentle hugs and tight hugs. I still find that.

Do you find it helpful to snuggle a cushion, pillow or other soft object?

Sometimes there's a big difference between gentle hugs and tight hugs. I still find that.

Do you find it helpful to snuggle a cushion, pillow or other soft object?

Soft objects are nice to hug. :)

It's probably best to see a doctor. At least you'll know if you are just extremely sensitive or if there's something else going on. Better to know than not know.

It's probably best to see a doctor. At least you'll know if you are just extremely sensitive or if there's something else going on. Better to know than not know.

Yeah, I guess so...