NationStates Jolt Archive

November 1st, 2007 - Fort Lauderdale

An UFO landed in Fort Lauderdale containing one alien being.

The alien left its vehicle, killed four cows and 2 humans (one is a child) before it was caught by the local sheriff.

Should we allow that this alien would receive the death penalty?

Or do we prevent this, ‘cause it’s an alien?
Would this say that aliens would have more rights as humans?

November 1st, 2007 - Fort Lauderdale

An UFO landed in Fort Lauderdale containing one alien being.

The alien left its vehicle, killed four cows and 2 humans (one is a child) before it was caught by the local sheriff.

Should we allow that this alien would receive the death penalty?

Or do we prevent this, ‘cause it’s an alien?
Would this say that aliens would have more rights as humans?

Wouldn't it have diplomatic immunity?

In Jeb Bush's state?

ahahaha that thing is so very dead.

November 1st, 2007 - Fort Lauderdale

An UFO landed in Fort Lauderdale containing one alien being.

The alien left its vehicle, killed four cows and 2 humans (one is a child) before it was caught by the local sheriff.

Should we allow that this alien would receive the death penalty?

Or do we prevent this, ‘cause it’s an alien?
Would this say that aliens would have more rights as humans?
I'm sure that the case would be made that the individual was more valuable to humanity as a whole if kept alive.

There's plenty of precedent. Think German rocket scientists, defectors from enemy powers, criminals giving evidence to convict their fellows etc etc.

What is this, a thought experiment or the most important piece of news I should know?

It's a hypothetical situation.

What is this, a thought experiment or the most important piece of news I should know?

Jeb Bush has been out of office for almost a year.

Those ridiculous comments are not going to work anymore.

And the aliens should be studied, not killed. It has no rights whatsoever, much like a terrorist under international law.

In Jeb Bush's state?

ahahaha that thing is so very dead.

I know. :( We probably offended the alien!

http://www.foncocreative.net/yoda/images/Marsian.jpg

Keep it for research. Think of all the indignities we can perpetrate on it, a la Dr. Mengele, before it finally dies and we dissect it.

Jeb Bush has been out of office for almost a year.

Sorry if I have more important things to do than read up on Florida's politics. Like cutting my toenails, or seeing if that hole in my ear is still open. It is. :)

What breed were the cows?

Most sensible nations of the past did not execute foreigners from unknown places unless they could establish that the foreigner's home country was powerless, didn't care, or was too far away.

Else, they'd probably spare the foreigner and attempt to make diplomatic communications with the unknown land.

<piccy snip>
What the hell did you do to Yoda!

You put him back to normal right this instant, mister!

:p

What the hell did you do to Yoda!

You put him back to normal right this instant, mister!

:p

NEVER!
http://vwt.d2g.com:8081/mars_attacks.jpg

Then why talk about things you don't have a clue about Lupo?

Like maybe sex or hygiene.

Then why talk about things you don't have a clue about Lupo?

Like maybe sex or hygiene.

I'm a dirty virgin. :D

Send that motherfucker to Gitmo. Why the fuck is he here? When is the attack coming? Where's his home planet so we can inva...liberate it?

Send that motherfucker to Gitmo. Why the fuck is he here? When is the attack coming? Where's his home planet so we can inva...liberate it?

Nonsense! This war would be useless, it'd cost billions of dollars, weaken your military, there's no way Bush would ever...

Oh. Wait.

Yeah, the aliens are screwed and so is the American population.

Should we kill the alien? No.

If he were human, should we kill him? No.



There you go. Let's not kill anyone, and the problem solves itself.

Nonsense! This war would be useless, it'd cost billions of dollars, weaken your military, there's no way Bush would ever...

Oh. Wait.

Yeah, the aliens are screwed and so is the American population.

If we don't stop the aliens then who's to stop the next roswell? we must take pre-emptive measures to save our planet!

Let's just hope that the United States of Alpha Centauri doesn't use this event as a pretext to "liberate" the Earth from G.W. Bush, Vladimir Putin and Hu Jintao...

:eek:

We should use an antigravity beam to knock the alien out and zap it into a scientific laboratory. When it wakes up, we should take blood samples, examine and test it in various conditions, and impregnate it. Finally, we should fly it back to its home planet, mutilate it, and drop it into a field before crashing our spaceship in the middle of a desert.

Let's just hope that the United States of Alpha Centauri doesn't use this event as a pretext to "liberate" the Earth from G.W. Bush, Vladimir Putin and Hu Jintao...

:eek:
I for one welcome our new Centauri overlords.

Study it? Kill it? Lets do both!

Vivisection!

Maybe it tastes very delicious? :)

I for one welcome our new Centauri overlords.

Yeah. They like be bringin freedom and shit to Earth boieee!

Maybe it tastes very delicious? :)

Tastes like chicken.

Can I have the Spaceship?

November 1st, 2007 - Fort Lauderdale

An UFO landed in Fort Lauderdale containing one alien being.

The alien left its vehicle, killed four cows and 2 humans (one is a child) before it was caught by the local sheriff.

Should we allow that this alien would receive the death penalty?

Or do we prevent this, ‘cause it’s an alien?
Would this say that aliens would have more rights as humans?

... I assume you're giving the fact that the locals won't kill it after it kills the 2 humans...

Government will move in, secure the alien, much to the chargrin of the locals.

then some intense questions and examinations...

then it will be deported to Mexico because obviously the alien doesn't have a valid passport, thus it's not just an Alien, but an Illegal Alien. :p

November 1st, 2007 - Fort Lauderdale

An UFO landed in Fort Lauderdale containing one alien being.

The alien left its vehicle, killed four cows and 2 humans (one is a child) before it was caught by the local sheriff.

Should we allow that this alien would receive the death penalty?

Or do we prevent this, ‘cause it’s an alien?
Would this say that aliens would have more rights as humans?

It depends. I think it would be treated as a rare beast - studied and kept alive for a while, until it's time for a biopsy..

1. Attempt communication;

2. When that fails, laboratory tests;

3. Give a certificate of 'Civil Rights'. Afterwards, the alien is declared a terrorist, launched into orbit (costing millions of dollars) in a bizarre 'deportation' without life support systems, because its 'the other country's responsibility.'

I would say that we keep it alive and study it (without vivisection) until we can contact its homeworld. We then inform their homeworld that we have laws, the alien violated them, so we have to execute it. Incidentally, our final experiment is to see what it takes to kill an alien.

And if the aliens decide to invade, I have a plan.

Step 1: Capture their technology
Step 2: Reverse-engineer their technology
Step 3: Get our best expert on their technology, and lock him in a room with LG for a month. Supply them with food, and a computer with access to major weapons databases.
Step 4: Use the results to pwn the aliens.
Step 5: As an example to other alien civilizations, crossbreed skunks with rabbits, and allow the resulting hybrid to populate their homeworld.

I'm guessing you're referring to an illegal immigrant. I say we use them as target practice and to supplement Hamburger Helper.

Obviously we keep him alive for study purpose.

But I wouldn't say sticking tube in every orifice of is body while opening is belly with a scalpel mean he have more right.

Your honor, this is a clear case of mitigating circumstance.

My client, socialized and raised on another planet, cannot reasonably be held to the same standard of conduct as someone from Earth.

While ignorance of the law is no excuse, the fact is, the accused had no means of understanding the consequence of his actions. On its world, a dead organism is simply reassimilated into the ecosphere and its sentience is re-expressed in another cellular matrix. Therefore, the necessary intent for murder is absent from this act.

The necessary criteria for applying the death penalty include the willful intent to take life, whereas my client understood the act to be the simple harmless appropriation of proteins that happened to be running around in an Elmo T-shirt.

There was no cruelty in this action, or even any demonstrable presence of mind to do harm.

Also, my client was touched by his smizmarm in his 3rd gestational phase.
That kind of abuse is a textbook mitigating factor.

Clearly only one place for this alien: Guantanamo

November 1st, 2007 - Fort Lauderdale

An UFO landed in Fort Lauderdale containing one alien being.

The alien left its vehicle, killed four cows and 2 humans (one is a child) before it was caught by the local sheriff.

Should we allow that this alien would receive the death penalty?

Or do we prevent this, ‘cause it’s an alien?
Would this say that aliens would have more rights as humans?

Link, please. And if you can't find one, black helicopter down.

I think it would be prudent to find out where his friends are first... but as for killing the alien... it would take countless years anyway due to the time it takes for death sentences to be carried out.. but obviously if the alien values life so little then what is the issue.. BUT the alien could have had a good reason, perhaps the cows and humans were aliens in disguise, or had some sort of disease or other threatening issue that the alien was really acting to protect people rather than just senselessly kill cows and humans, after all he could become a farmer or join the army to do that.

Link, please. And if you can't find one, black helicopter down.

Ahem.... Look out your window

http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/

Ahem.... Look out your window

http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/

I see nothing.

I see nothing.

You did read on the first page where the OP explained that it is a hypothetical scenario to be used as a thought experiment, right?

The alien should be given a fair trial followed by a lengthy prison sentence if he is found to be guilty.

And the captured technology should be studied and reverse engineered in order to improve our defenses against future incursions on our planet.

WHO IS this "alien" who dares to imitate me by coming to planet Houston from another planet and trying to claim it for (him/her/it)-self, when I, General Zod, have already done so?! Come to me, "alien", if you dare! I defy you! Come! Come and kneel before Zod!...ZOD!

The kid had it coming.

I say, like any illegal alien commiting a crime, its vehicle should be impounded, and then promptly deported. As its an extraterrestrial alien it should be flung into space, via giant slingshot.

In Jeb Bush's state?

ahahaha that thing is so very dead.

Not if it marries into the Schiavo family.
:(

We should use an antigravity beam to knock the alien out and zap it into a scientific laboratory. When it wakes up, we should take blood samples, examine and test it in various conditions, and impregnate it. Finally, we should fly it back to its home planet, mutilate it, and drop it into a field before crashing our spaceship in the middle of a desert.

I can't believe you didn't have the common decency to mention us gang-probing it *before*/*during*/*after* the impregnation. "Various conditions" doesn't quite do it.

Any alien species capable of interstellar and/or intergalactic travel would wipe out the entire armed forces of Earth and have the planet occupied in seven hours. If I were making the decisions, I'd keep them in custody and try to contact their home civilization as soon as possible and then let them handle it. Anything more than that is just asking for trouble.

Link, please. And if you can't find one, black helicopter down.E.T. Go Home
http://www.movieweb.com/tv/news/85/23985.php

Oh yes, let's kill/probe/torture the first representative of a race with interstellar travel to reach Earth. That's not going to get the world blown to smithereens at all.

Although I may be assuming the aliens will act like humans too much. :p

Any alien species capable of interstellar and/or intergalactic travel would wipe out the entire armed forces of Earth and have the planet occupied in seven hours. If I were making the decisions, I'd keep them in custody and try to contact their home civilization as soon as possible and then let them handle it. Anything more than that is just asking for trouble.
Inter-galactic is even *less* probable, as far as the whole probability argument goes.
Intra- .... mmmkay.
Would you use a speak & spell? ;)

Inter-galactic is even *less* probable, as far as the whole probability argument goes. Intra- .... mmmkay.

Would you use a speak & spell? ;)

Speak and spell? More like speak and prefix.

Speak and spell? More like speak and prefix.

http://www.movieweb.com/tv/news/85/23985.php -*cough*

Any alien species capable of interstellar and/or intergalactic travel would wipe out the entire armed forces of Earth and have the planet occupied in seven hours.

"It'll be like the 7 hour war all over again. Except this time we won't even last 7 minutes" - Eli Vance.

:p

"It'll be like the 7 hour war all over again. Except this time we won't even last 7 minutes" - Eli Vance.

:p

Winner. I was hoping someone would pick up on that. :D

November 1st, 2007 - Fort Lauderdale

An UFO landed in Fort Lauderdale containing one alien being.

The alien left its vehicle, killed four cows and 2 humans (one is a child) before it was caught by the local sheriff.

Should we allow that this alien would receive the death penalty?

Or do we prevent this, ‘cause it’s an alien?
Would this say that aliens would have more rights as humans?

i'll call this a "what if". i really don't care whether or not it actually happened. i'm against the death penalty on general principals. unless the day comes when it's actually possible to make it reversable.

the op didn't say anything about the context in which the killings occured. someone being unfamiliar with our planet might will have inadvertently mistaken humans for cattle, or they may have actually been threatining that person's life, or appeared to have been.

the fact that this person came from some other world ought rationally to have no pertinance to jurisprudence, other perhapse, then as establishing a precedent for extradition proceedings with laws and governments of their home world.

=^^=
.../\...

You would first have to establish the alien's legal status - US law presumably only applies to humans with criminal responsibility (unless there are a few hicks trying to sue their favourite goat for adultery). If it was deemed that the creature could be held criminally responsible (possibly some laws would need to be changed) you could put it on trial. OR you could set the 'spaceback' to work as a cleaner or in a sweatshop.

I'm wondering if the prisoners would rape the alien.

- Come to daddy, green one -

morally, everything that is awaire of its own existence is owed due process. status or no status.

i am wondering of course, at the probability of someone from another world being able to breath our own earth's atmosphere, or ours to breathe theirs.

(which is one reason why i'm taking this as a what if. delicate diplomatic issues aside.)

=^^=
.../\...

i am wondering of course, at the probability of someone from another world being able to breath our own earth's atmosphere, or ours to breathe theirs.


It would probably be pretty likely, if only due to the fact that our biochemistry seems to be the best kind for the known conditions of the universe. As a result any kind of life that we encounter is more likely to be carbon-based than based on any other alternative biochemistries. However, those alternates are not impossible and probably do exist in significant quantities in different environments.

Of course, if this extraterrestrial couldn't survive in our atmosphere, they would be already dead and passed off as a weather balloon long before any damage could occur.

An alien landed in Florida? oh oh.

And if the aliens decide to invade, I have a plan.

Step 1: Capture their technology
Step 2: Reverse-engineer their technology
Step 3: Get our best expert on their technology, and lock him in a room with LG for a month. Supply them with food, and a computer with access to major weapons databases.
Step 4: Use the results to pwn the aliens.
Step 5: As an example to other alien civilizations, crossbreed skunks with rabbits, and allow the resulting hybrid to populate their homeworld.

Interstellar pie-slingers ftw !!

Take him to our....wait, Florida? Take him to Cuba!

This was all just a big misunderstanding; the alien came here in response to an interstellar distress signal, in order to liberate Earth's dominant species from oppression by brutish, stupid Humans and cows. That master race-- which we have spent millennia exploiting, abusing, massacring en masse, all the while too stupid ourselves to recognise its intelligence and subtle social and technological sophistication-- is grass.

Yes, the alien was here to rescue the grass from ravenous cows and insensitive Humans who've walked all over it since we fell out of our trees. Now that we know, we should set the alien free and take this opportunity to attempt a rapprochement with our leafy green overlords.

Winner. I was hoping someone would pick up on that. :D

Damn shame he got his brains eaten though.

Only if this alien is a Mexican.

I know. :( We probably offended the alien!

http://www.foncocreative.net/yoda/images/Marsian.jpg

Dude! It's Yodathulu!

Fair trial followed by life in prison if found guilty. The same way a human should be treated.

Let's just hope that the United States of Alpha Centauri doesn't use this event as a pretext to "liberate" the Earth from G.W. Bush, Vladimir Putin and Hu Jintao...

:eek:

No no no no no no... We leave Earth to go to Alpha Centauri after people like G.W. Bush, Vladimir Putin and Hu Jintao turn it into a complete shithole.

And of course, that's when we have that little brouhaha over philosophical differences that split into factions that want the whole place for themselves.

And of course if this happened, Bush would blame it on the Democratic Congress blocking the MiB budget which was attached to his Iran-er-Iraq War spending bill.

We've already killed Tonga royalty, why not kill the alien?

No no no no no no... We leave Earth to go to Alpha Centauri after people like G.W. Bush, Vladimir Putin and Hu Jintao turn it into a complete shithole.

And of course, that's when we have that little brouhaha over philosophical differences that split into factions that want the whole place for themselves.

Played that game so much it is no longer funny (prolly never was). Alpha Centauri and Sid Meier ftw!

Go democratic green socialist economy with knowledge priorities and cybernetics!

+7 efficiency = pwn

Take him to our....wait, Florida? Take him to Cuba!Elian's got a room for you, as well as a swell, buoyant plank.
Bring your sunblock.

You did read on the first page where the OP explained that it is a hypothetical scenario to be used as a thought experiment, right?

I didn't see it.

I say kill it, load it back on its ship and send it home, so that the aliens know the ppl of earth wont have there life stock killed

Now that I remember it, Klaatu barada nikto.

Now that I remember it, Klaatu barada nikto.

Just make sure it doesn't come out "Klaatu Barada Nikt-ACHOOO!"

November 1st, 2007 - Fort Lauderdale

An UFO landed in Fort Lauderdale containing one alien being.

The alien left its vehicle, killed four cows and 2 humans (one is a child) before it was caught by the local sheriff.

Should we allow that this alien would receive the death penalty?

Or do we prevent this, ‘cause it’s an alien?
Would this say that aliens would have more rights as humans?
We should try to communicate with the alien. If that doesn't work, we should eat it.