NationStates Jolt Archive

Please share you limericks! Especially if they are bad and make no sense. But please, no haikus.


Heres my first one:

There once was a forum of smarty pants
With communist and religious hating rants.
Here to debate
the issues at state
Lets all have a big party and dance!

there once was a man from Australia, who painted his bum like a Dahlia. the painting was fine, the colors devine, but the smell was a total failure.

Abortion, welfare, and guns
will turn prostitutes into nuns
Catholics Prevail
While atheism fails
and communion wine gives me the runs

The Palindrome Limerick:

Tango-noter, a disc I peek at
In a temple: hot sin, a mad rat;
Ere we retard, a man
Is to help me tan;
I take epics, I dare, to no gnat.

There once was a mod'rator kitty
Who lived up in New York City
She rezzed nations all day
In Gen'ral forum did play
And the arguments there were not pretty.

Alright I'm busting out the dirty limericks


I never thought I'd need protection
I should have listened about early detection
Now I scream when I pee
And I can no longer see
Its been years since I've had an erection

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose [censored] was so [censored] he could [censored]
He looked up with a grin
With [censored] on his [censored]
And said [censored] [censored] sailboat. Ucket.

While Microsoft surely was pleased
that Vista was being released
most hackers admit
it really is shit
It's development should have ceased.

While windows is hard to ignore
there are countless OSes more
and if they are free
they were tested by me
Linux received the highest score

There was an OS called Plan 9
which I thought ran what I need fine
I gave it a shot,
but it booted not
and that was for me quite a sign.

I think I will try it anew
cause even if it is not GNU
it surely is nice
I will sacrifice
one more night awake maybe two

While being long anticipated
The HURD is still being created
You still are not able
to run this thing stable
I am slowly growing frustrated.

Alright I'm busting out the dirty limericks
There once was a lad from Great Britain
Who alone in his bedroom was sittin',
When a fairy arrived
And in lusty tones cried
"Do Me!" But it didn't fit in.

there once was a man who could rhyme
word with anything, and so sublime.
He became quite adept
at this artful concept,
apart from trying to get far far too many words into the very very last line

I thought I would write something funny
To make me a whole ton of money
I thought for a year
and as I did fear
It turned out instead to be punny.

I love to hump plastic dolls
with rubber bands squeezing my balls
I orgasm quick
so i pull out my dick
and ejaculate all over the walls

An author once made a game,
It was good, no need for shame
You could rule a glorious nation,
Or try to fend off an invasion
Though the forums were quite lame :D

I hope I got that right..

I only know one "dirty" limerick, it's in dutch though:

Er was eens een meisje uit Epe,
Die had het voltooid deelwoord niet begrepen.
Ze vroeg na de daad,
met haar mond vol zaad.
Heb ik nu gepijpt of gepepen? :D