NationStates Jolt Archive

"In what ways will you participate and commit to your education to be successful?"

I'm sorry, maybe I'm just an idiot who can't understand basic American English, but what the hell do they mean?

What will you do to finish your education?
What will you do to learn from college?

Sounds like a trick question to me... :p

What will you do to finish your education?
What will you do to learn from college?

Sounds like a trick question to me... :p

Bastard colleges..

Trick question with only one answer...

Trick question with only one answer...

Sex, correct?

Sex, correct?
Close, but not quite...

They are asking:

What actions will you take in the name of bettering your education?

Only they used Participation and Commitment as standins. The phrasing is bad, though.

Close, but not quite...
Open mind, open mouth, open wallet?
They are asking:

What actions will you take in the name of bettering your education?

Only they used Participation and Commitment as standins. The phrasing is bad, though.

*thinks*
*thinks more*
*writers block*

Open mind, open mouth, open wallet?
That sounds fine... where's the sex there?

*thinks*
*thinks more*
*writers block*

Assuming that you are applying to a college of some flavour:

- What clubs or activities occur at that college that might suplement your major or other educational interests?

- What outside activities do you take part in that might suplement your education?

But yeah, that's a really stupid question for a college essay.

I’m interested in having a career in photography that gives me the freedom to express myself and convey a new perspective on everyday objects. My goal is to gain experience in the subject of photography and learn new techniques with lighting, composition, such as high speed photography and diffused lighting. Some day I hope to open my own gallery, and I feel the education I will receive at The Art Institute will help me succeed in the art world, and also within the competitive business world. I am eager to be a successful, talented, and skilled photographer who will embrace new styles that are unfamiliar to me while learning more about the most common topics. Currently studying marketing to help get me started in knowing the trade, I have been doing some freelance work as a stock photographer that has proven to be great experience. To continue my education at The Art Institute would be a beneficial honor.

*shrugs*

Think they'll accept me?

*shrugs*

Think they'll accept me?

Not if composition is important to them... but based on their original question it may not be. Try simplifying what you are saying so it doesn't come out so stilted. The basic theme seems good, but your language skills look somewhat suspect.

*shrugs*

Think they'll accept me?

Not enough sex.
'sides, if it's a "trick" question (and if you say "trick or treat", you mean candy or turning tricks, being "candy" of a different sort) ....

Shut up, shut up, shut up! Sex, sex sex, must get sex into it. Wait, I see a television commercial- There's this nude woman in a bath holding a bit of your entry essay. That's great, great, but we need a doctor, got to have a medical opinion. There's a nude woman in a bath with a doctor--that's too sexy. Put an archbishop there watching them, that'll take the curse off it. Now, we need children and animals. There's two kids admiring the essay, and a dog admiring the archbishop who's blessing Ruffy. Uhh...international flavor's missing...make the archbishop Greek Orthodox. Why not Archbishop Macarios? No, no, he's dead... nevermind, we'll get his brother, it'll be cheaper... So, there's Archbishop Macarios....

Try this.

I would like to pursue a career in photography. I feel that a solid education will give me the freedom to express myself and to convey a new perspective with every day objects. My goals include gaining photographic experience and learning new lighting and composition techniques, through such areas as high speed photography and diffused lighting. I am eager to become a successful, talented and skilled photographer and to embrace new styles currently unfamiliar to me, while continuing to learn more about the basics. Someday I hope to open my own gallery, and I feel that the education I will receive at the Art Institute will help me succeed in both the world of art and the competitive world of business. I am currently studying marketing which I feel will help me learn the trade, and I have been doing freelance work as a stock photographer, which has proven to be a great experience. It would be of great benefit, and an honor, to continue my education at the Art Institute.



Of course, this essay doesn't really answer the question.

Not if composition is important to them... but based on their original question it may not be. Try simplifying what you are saying so it doesn't come out so stilted. The basic theme seems good, but your language skills look somewhat suspect.

I have a headache. I hate having to be a grow up.

I’m interested in having a career in photography that gives me the freedom to express myself and show a new way to look at an ordinary object. My goal is to gain experience in the subject of photography and learn new techniques with lighting, and composition, such as high speed photography and diffused lighting. Some day I hope to open my own gallery, and I feel the education I will take from The Art Institute will help me progress in the art world, and also within the business world. I am eager to be a successful, talented, and skilled photographer who will achieve new styles that are unfamiliar to me while learning more about the most common topics. Currently studying marketing to help get me started in knowing the trade, I have been doing some freelance work as a stock photographer that has proven to be great experience. To attend The Art Institute would be a great start on getting me to where I want to be.

Any less crappy?

Of course, this essay doesn't really answer the question.

Well, the entire question is "What are you career goals and how do you expect your education at The Art Institute to help you attain them? In what ways will you participate and commit to your education to be successful?" but I was only confused with that second part. And now it seems I didn't do as well as I thought.

EDIT: And thank you for you help.

I have a headache. I hate having to be a grow up.



Any less crappy?

HUGELY better.

I still don't care for the phrase "the most common topics" and the sentence that starts "Currently studying marketing..." is awkward, but the rest is much, much less crappy! :D

I have a headache. I hate having to be a grow up.

You're a great photographer. You have a lot of potential to make a big difference, as far as i'm concerned.

Well, the entire question is "What are you career goals and how do you expect your education at The Art Institute to help you attain them? In what ways will you participate and commit to your education to be successful?" but I was only confused with that second part. And now it seems I didn't do as well as I thought.

EDIT: And thank you for you help.

Well, no... you have answered the first part very well, now you need to answer the second... which I read as "What will YOU do to make your education successful?" meaning that rather than just relying on them to hand you an education, what steps will you take towards making that education a good one?

EDIT: And you are quite welcome!

HUGELY better.

I still don't care for the phrase "the most common topics" and the sentence that starts "Currently studying marketing..." is awkward, but the rest is much, much less crappy! :D

/sigh of relief

Also:

I’m interested in having a career in photography that gives me the freedom to express myself and show a new way to look at an ordinary object. My goal is to gain experience in the subject of photography and learn new techniques with lighting, and composition, such as high speed photography and diffused lighting. Some day I hope to open my own gallery, and I feel the education I will take from The Art Institute will help me progress in the art world, and also within the business world. I am eager to be a successful, talented, and skilled photographer who will achieve new styles that are unfamiliar to me while learning more about the techniques I already know and use. To help get me started in knowing the trade, I have been doing some freelance work as a stock photographer that has proven to be great experience. To attend The Art Institute would be a great start on getting me to where I want to be.

"In what ways will you participate and commit to your education to be successful?"

I'm sorry, maybe I'm just an idiot who can't understand basic American English, but what the hell do they mean?
Ummmm they just want to know if you are willing to give it all you got big boy. :D


It is sex education classes??

You're a great photographer. You have a lot of potential to make a big difference, as far as i'm concerned.

You've inspired me, you awesome man.

..already know and use. Making a difference in someone’s life, or even just cheering them up is something that interests me, and I feel the best way for me to make that difference is to help them experience a new view on the world.

Ummmm they just want to know if you are willing to give it all you got big boy. :D


It is sex education classes??

I've always got the impression that if you put out, you succeed. http://209.85.12.227/11914/116/emo/perv.gif

I've always got the impression that if you put out, you succeed. http://209.85.12.227/11914/116/emo/perv.gif
See.....you already have the answer to your question.....you are a genius!! :)

BTW, nice Groucho.....er perv!!

I’m interested in having a career in photography that gives me the freedom to express myself and show a new way to look at an ordinary object. My goal is to gain experience in the subject of photography and learn new techniques with lighting, and composition, such as high speed photography and diffused lighting. Some day I hope to open my own gallery, and I feel the education I will take from The Art Institute will help me progress in the art world, and also within the business world. I am eager to be a successful, talented, and skilled photographer who will achieve new styles that are unfamiliar to me while learning more about the techniques I already know and use. To help get me started in knowing the trade, I have been doing some freelance work as a stock photographer that has proven to be great experience. To attend The Art Institute would be a great start on getting me to where I want to be.

Coming along nicely... instead of "a new way to look at an ordinary object." how about "new ways to look at ordinary objects"...makes it sound more versatile than just one new way.

"will help me progress in the art world, and also within the business world"
should be "will help me progress in the art world and also in the business world" which just sounds more balanced.

"I am eager to be a successful..." should be "eager to become a..." which puts the emphasis on the fact that this education is what will make that happen.

"who will achieve new styles that are unfamiliar to me"... try finding another verb here... achieve doesn't really work... maybe "master new styles"

"while learning more about the techniques I already know and use. " Very good!

"To help get me started in knowing the trade," is still a bit awkward... how about "To help me gain knowledge in the trade"

Starting the immediate following sentence with "To attend The Art Institute.." means two sentences in a row start with "To" which is not so good. How about "Attending The Art Institute..." instead.

You've inspired me, you awesome man.

..already know and use. Making a difference in someone’s life, or even just cheering them up is something that interests me, and I feel the best way for me to make that difference is to help them experience a new view on the world.

I like that a lot! Put that in! Only make it a new view of the world, not on the world.

Oh, and the "currently studying marketing" bit... I like the idea of it, that you are currently studying marketing which will tie in with your goal of running a gallery. Don't lose that information, just find a better way to include it. It probably is better separated from the stock photography experience anyway, since they are two separate and important ideas and each deserve their own sentences.

I've always got the impression that if you put out, you succeed. http://209.85.12.227/11914/116/emo/perv.gif

And if at first you don't succeed, put out, put out again?

I know this advice is prolly a bit late, but if you want to be more creative, perhaps you can relate "how to take a great picture" with "how will I try to be successful" and "why should I be admitted to this school"...

just my $0.02. (in Zimbabwean dollars). ;)

Ruffy, my dear... I have to go and reintroduce myself to my pillow and blankets now, because I have stuff to do in the morning. TG me your final draft out of all this and I will take a look at it tomorrow.

It is coming along very well so far!

Good night!