NationStates Jolt Archive

The best movie quote of all time: what is it?
Discuss.

For the unoriginal, here are some lists:

AFI's List (http://www.afi.com/tvevents/100years/quotes.aspx)
AFI's Nominees (http://www.filmsite.org/afi400quotes.html)
List of Quote Lists (http://www.filmsite.org/greatfilmquotes.html)

This... is.... SPARTA!

Good, bad, I'm the one with the gun.
-Ash

Anything said by mr. T. "See, if I come into a black neighborhood and say, "Thanks for watching my show," and give out high fives and all that, I'm not doing no good. I go out and see a kid grabbing his crotch. Ain't nobody telling them that. Where do they get it from? They watch MTV. I say, "If you wash up more often, you won't have to grab your crotch." I'm telling these guys, "Why you gotta grab your crotch?" Then you see Michael Jackson grabbing his crotch 50 times. What's with him?"

I just watched goodfellas, I like the last line. "I'm just an average nobody. I get to live the rest of my life like a schnook." Schnook is a good word.

"How disgusting."

"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here, this is the war room."

"I wanted to live near Joe."

The Station Agent

Pretty much anything from "The Jerk (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0079367/quotes)". Although, today, this might be my favorite:


Mother: Navin, it's your birthday, and it's time you knew. You're not our natural-born child.
Navin R. Johnson: I'm not? You mean I'm gonna STAY this color?

Agent Smith: Why, Mr. Anderson? Why do you do it? Why get up? Why keep fighting? Do you believe you're fighting for something? For more that your survival? Can you tell me what it is? Do you even know? Is it freedom? Or truth? Perhaps peace? Yes? No? Could it be for love? Illusions, Mr. Anderson. Vagaries of perception. The temporary constructs of a feeble human intellect trying desperately to justify an existence that is without meaning or purpose. And all of them as artificial as the Matrix itself, although only a human mind could invent something as insipid as love. You must be able to see it, Mr. Anderson. You must know it by now. You can't win. It's pointless to keep fighting. Why, Mr. Anderson? Why? Why do you persist?

It just pwns.

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.

"She caught me with another woman. You're French, you can understand that."

"To be with another woman, zat is French. To be caught, zat is American."

Hot Lips: [about Hawkeye] I wonder how such a degenerated person ever reached a position of authority in the Army Medical Corps.
Father Mulcahy: He was drafted.

Or maybe that's just because we're doing that as the fall play.

Corporal Paris: See that cockroach? Tomorrow morning, we'll be dead and it'll be alive. It'll have more contact with my wife and child than I will. I'll be nothing, and it'll be alive.
[Ferol smashes the roach]
Private Ferol: Now you got the edge on him.

Paths of Glory

It just pwns.

So does Neo when he kicks Smith's ass a second later. :p

Somewhat predictably


He's not the messiah he's a very naughty boy

Or

And we'd better hope there's intelligent life somewhere up in space, 'cos there's bugger all down here on earth

"You must unlearn what you have learned." - Yoda, Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back

I think we all spend out lives living out Yoda's quote, even if we don't realize it all the time.

Good, bad, I'm the one with the gun.
-Ash

Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.

I'm sorry but if you have to quote a masterpiece such as Army of Darkness, please do it right.

"Turn up the good, turn down the suck!" - Dean Murdoch

Ray: Ah, experience has conditioned you into thinking that all hearts are red and all spades are black because their shapes are similar. It's easier for your mind to interpret them based on that past experience instead of being open to the idea they could be different. We see what we expect to see, not necessarily what's really there. Children who have never played cards always pass this test. Makes you wonder how many other things are right in front of you - sights, sounds, smells that you can't experience because you've been conditioned not to. The good news is, if we do the test again, you'll pass. Once you're aware that there can be black hearts and red spades you'll be able to perceive them. Our brain's wiring is like the interstate highway system. It's easier to go from one well-traveled place to another. But the places in between, off the highway, even though they're there, most people zip right past them.

Bob Cody: Well, he was an historian. About a hundred years ago he came up with a theory about the frontier. He said the frontier was a safety valve for civilization, a place for people to go to keep from goin' mad. So, whenever there were folks who couldn't fit in with the way things were, nuts, and malcontents, and extremists, they'd pack up and head for the frontier. That's how America got started - all the crackpots and troublemakers in Europe packed up and went to a frontier which became the Thirteen Colonies. When some people couldn't fit in with that, they moved farther west, which is why all the nuts eventually ended up in California. Turner died in 1932, so he wasn't around long enough to see what happened to the world when we ran out of frontier. Some people say we have the frontier of the mind, and they go off and explore the wonderful world of alcohol and drugs, but that's no frontier. It's just another way for us to fool ourselves. And we've created this phony frontier with computers, which allows people to, you know, think they've escaped. A frontier with access fees?

O.W. Grant: While we're waiting to run headlong into the semi that's coming down the road in about... oh... 30 seconds. Think about this. You signed a contract, in blood, with a person who not only knew what you were going to say, but when you will say it. Now think, who could that person be and do you really wanna piss him off.

and then there is the entire script of "Cannibal Women of the Avocado Jungle of Death."
Dr. Kurtz: This is a war! A war between men and women. Anything short of cannibalism is just beating around the bush.

Dr. Margo Hunt: Dr. Kurtz, I'm unfamiliar with the academic guidelines at Radcliffe, but I would think any major university would consider warring on the United States and eating prisoners of war a serious breach of ethics.

Jim: Gee, you guys are pretty big, for wimps. Of course, the joke's on you when those broads come back and start picking out ingredients for chicken McMacho.

Bunny: [in a rush of enthusiasm] I like it so much, I've been thinking about changing my major from Home Economics to Feminist Studies, but I wasn't sure if you had any feminist cooking classes.

While it's a good list, I disagree with some of them. First off

The horror...the horror.

should be there, not just honorable mentions. Also:

Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.

Should be far higher than 67.

Finally, another favorite quote of mine I didn't see mentioned:

I am not afraid

You will be. You will be.

It just pwns.Once it becomes a soliloquy it no longer counts as a "quote."

Ok seriously, what's with the damn soliloquies?

Pulp Fiction
Jules: ENGLISH, MOTHERFUCKER! DO-YOU-SPEAK-IT?

lets see i have 2:

"I pity the fool." Mr.T

"EHHHHH" The Fonz

That's no moon...

"So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one -- big hitter, the Lama -- long, into a ten-thousand foot crevice, right at the base of this glacier. And do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga...gunga -- gunga galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, 'Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consiousness.' So I got that goin' for me, which is nice." -- Carl Spackler (Bill Murray), Caddyshack

Satan: How come you always want to make love to me from behind? Is it because you want to pretend I'm somebody else?

Saddam Hussein: Satan, your ass is gigantic and red. Who am I going to pretend you are, Liza Minnelli?

From South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut. I have no idea who the hell Liza Minnelli is, but the line cracks me up, nonetheless.


Ferris Bueller: I did have a test today. That wasn't bullshit. It's on European socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not European. I don't plan on being European, so who gives a crap if they're socialists? They could be fascist anarchists - that still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a car. Not that I condone fascism, or any -ism for that matter. -Ism's in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, 'I don't believe in Beatles, I just believe in me.' Good point there. After all, he was 'The Walrus'. I could be the walrus, but I'd still have to bum rides off of people.


Ferris Bueller: The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. It's a good non-specific symptom. I'm a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you a good phoney fever is a deadlock, but you get a nervous mother, you could wind up in a doctor's office—that's worse than school. You fake a stomach cramp, and when you're bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. It's a little childish and stupid, but then again, so is high school.


Jeanie Bueller: Excuse me. If whoever's in the house is still in the house, I'd like you to know that I have just called the police. If you have any brains whatsoever, you'll get your ass out of my house real quick. I'd also like to add that I have my father's gun. And a scorching case of herpes.


Economics Teacher: Bueller?... Bueller?... Bueller?


Economics Teacher: Anyone?... Anyone?

From Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

Ugarte: You know, Rick, I have many a friend in Casablanca, but somehow, just because you despise me, you are the only one I trust.

Most the quotes from that film are so good they've become cliches, even those that haven't are great.

I don't know. There are so many movies, but...

Ted Striker: Surely you can't be serious.
Dr. Rumack: I am serious, and don't call me Shirley.


Taggart: I got it! I got it!
Lamarr: You do?
Taggart: We'll work up a "Number 6" on 'em.
Lamarr: "Number 6"? I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that one..
Taggart: Well, that's where we go a-ridin' into town, a whampin' and whompin' every livin' thing that moves within an inch of its life. Except the women folks, of course.
Lamarr: You spare the women?
Taggart: NAW! We rape the shit out of them at the Number 6 Dance later on!
Lamarr: Marvelous!


Mitch Martin: True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend...


Gen. George C. Marshall: I have here a very old letter, written to a Mrs. Bixby in Boston. "Dear Madam: I have been shown in the files of the War Department a statement of the Adjutant-General of Massachusetts that you are the mother of five sons who have died gloriously on the field of battle. I feel how weak and fruitless must be any words of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming. But I cannot refrain from tendering to you the consolation that may be found in the thanks of the Republic they died to save. I pray that our heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost, and the solemn pride that must be yours to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of freedom. Yours very sincerely and respectfully, Abraham Lincoln."


Yoda: Anger, fear, aggression; the dark side of the Force are they. Easily they flow, quick to join you in a fight. If once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will(..)

"I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists!" -- Hedy (That's Hedley!) Lamarr (Harvey Korman), Blazing Saddles

"Gozer the Gozerian? Good evening. As a duly-designated representative of the City, County and State of New York, I order you to cease any and all supernatural activity and return forthwith to your place of origin or to the next convenient parallel dimension."

From Gangs of New York. I don't know why I like it so much...

Bill the Butcher to Boss Tweed...


I know your works. You are neither cold nor hot. So because you are lukewarm, I will spew you out of my mouth. You can build your filthy world without me. I took the father. Now I'll take the son. You tell young Vallon I'm gonna paint Paradise Square with his blood. Two coats. I'll festoon my bedchamber with his guts.

-From Masters of the Universe

YES! Yes... I feel it, the power...fills me. Yes, I feel the universe within me! I am...I am a part of the cosmos! The power flows...flows through me! Of what consequence are you now? This planet, these people. They are NOTHING to me!The universe is power! Real, unstoppable POWER! and I am that force! I am that power! KNEEL BEFORE YOUR MASTER!

*He-Man refuses*

Fool! You are no longer my EQUAL! I am more than man! MORE THAN LIFE! I... am... a... GOD!


...such a great performance by Frank Langella. Easily one of the most underrated villain performances in cinematic history.

One of my faves...

Priest:" Please sir, this is a house of God, people are trying to pray."

The Kurgan:"He cares for these pathetic mortals?"

Priest: "of course, he gave his only son to die for thier sins!"

The Kurgan:"Ahh...then that shall be his undoing."

-The Highlander.

One of my faves...

Mine too. I almost posted that one!

That actor, Clancy Brown, was really the best part of that movie for me. I also really liked his work in Carnivale.

Mine too. I almost posted that one!

That actor, Clancy Brown, was really the best part of that movie for me. I also really liked his work in Carnivale.

You know it!

Brother Justin gives me the heebie-jeebies!

He was also great in the recent movie "Pathfinder".
Played the Viking Leader.

"Sporks!"

"You know you don't have to act with me, Steve. You don't have to say anything, and you don't have to do anything. Not a thing. Oh, maybe just whistle. You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together and... blow." Slim-Lauren Bacall in "To have and Have Not"

"Ive come here for two reasons. To chew bubblegum, and kick ass. And Im all out of bubblegum."
-Roddy Piper.

Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun.
-Ash
While we're on that particular fine road:
"Give me some sugar baby"

"Ok you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick!"

"Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things: Jack and shit... and Jack just left town."

"Come get some."

"Hail to the king, baby."

and of course:
"Groovy."

I think for reasonableness' sake, quotes should be ones you can remember, not just taken from IMDB.
From memory:
"Funny, how? Like I'm a clown? Like I'm here to amuse you?"

"You look like the sort of man who'd fuck another man in the ass and not even give him the common courtesy of a reach-around"

"How tall are you, private?
- Sir, five foot nine, sir!
Five foot nine? I didn't know they stacked shit that high! You ain't trying to squeeze an extra inch on me now, are you boy?"

"Private Pyle I'm gonna give you three seconds; exactly three-fucking-seconds to wipe that stupid looking grin off your face or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull-fuck you!"

"Private Pyle, you climb obstacles like old people fuck!"

"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!"

"Gee, I wish we had one of them doomsday machines."
"Frank sent us. (3 men next to their horses)
- Did you bring a horse for me?
Well... looks like we're... (laughs) looks like we're shy one horse.
- (slowly shakes head) uh..uh..Looks like you brought two too many."

"I saw three of these dusters (coats) a short time ago, they were waiting for a train. Inside the dusters, there were three men. Inside the men, there were three bullets."

"I kick ass for the Lord!"

"See you soon, id...” "id...” "ids...”
[taking the note] "Idiots". It's for you. "

"When you have to shoot, shoot, don't talk."

"If you work for a living, why do you kill yourself working?"

Sadly, not many people know where "I kick ass for the Lord" comes from...

"singiya!"

"Your Mother ate my dog!"

"What country you from?"
"What?"
"What ain't no country I've ever heard of. They speak English in What?"
"What?"
"Say what again! I dare you, I double dare you mother fucker, say what one more god damned time!"
...
"Does he look like a bitch?"
"What?"
*gun shot*

Sadly, not many people know where "I kick ass for the Lord" comes from...

"singiya!"

"Your Mother ate my dog!"

"Not all of it."

:D

Also:

"Aw man, I think I just shot Marvin in the face."

I know things about pigeons, Lily.

"What in the wide, wide world of sports is a'goin' on here?!"


"She turned me into a newt!" *silence* "Well I got better.."


"Your mother was a hampster and your father smelt of elderberries! Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!"

Great stuff.

From Trainspotting:

We stole drugs, we stole prescriptions, or bought them, sold them, swapped them, forged them, photocopied them or traded them with cancer victims, alcoholics, old age pensioners, AIDS patients, epileptics and bored housewives. We took morphine, diamorphine, cyclozine, codeine, temazepam, nitrezepam, phenobarbitone, sodium amytal dextropropoxyphene, methadone, nalbuphine, pethidine, pentazocine, buprenorphine, dextromoramide chlormethiazole. The streets are awash with drugs that you can have for unhappiness and pain, and we took them all. Fuck it, we would have injected Vitamin C if only they'd made it illegal.

"So we all get old and then we can't hack it any more. Is that it?"
"Yeah."
"That's your theory?"
"Yeah, beautifully fucking illustrated."

From you-know-which-movie:

"Camelot!"
"Camelot!"
"Camelot!"
"It's only a model."

"Well, on second thought, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly place."
"Right. Right."

Got a few.

Mal: This is the captain speaking. We are having a slight problem with our reentry sequence so we may experience some slight turbulence and then explode.

Operative: Nothing here is what it seems. He isn't the plucky hero, the Alliance isn't some evil empire, this is not the grand arena.
Inara: And that's not incense.

Mal: No more running. I aim to misbehave.

Operative: You willing to die for that belief?
Mal: I am. *shoots the Operative* Of course, that ain't exactly Plan A.

Data: I believe that the regenerative effects of the rings may be inspiring rebellious instincts common to youth, which could affect everyone's judgement.
Crusher: OK, Data, what do you think we should do?
Data: *takes rifle* Saddle up. Lock 'n load. *cocks rifle*

Geordi: Detonating the core might seal the tear, then again, it might not. Subspace weapons are unpredictable - that's why they were banned.

Riker: Geordi, are those pockets of methryon gas?
Geordi: Yes, sir. Highly volatile. Recommend we avoid them.
Riker: Negative. I'm going to use the ram scoops to collect as much of it as possible.
Geordi: The purpose being?
Riker: The purpose being, I'm going to shove it down the Sona'as' throats.


V: People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.

V: No, what you have are bullets, and the hope that when you run out I'm no longer standing, because if not, I'll be on you before you've reloaded.

Gunslingers have shot at the feet of the Man with No Name's horse, making it run away.

1st Gunslinger:Go get your mule. You let him get away from you.

Man With No Name: You see, that's what I want to talk to you about. He's feeling real bad.

1st Gunslinger: Uh?

Man With No Name: My mule. You see, he got all riled up when you men fired those shots at his feet.

2nd Gunslinger: Hey, you making some kind of joke?

Man With No Name: No. No. You see, I understand you men were just playing around, but the mule, he just doesn't get it. Of course, if you were all to apologise ...

Gunslingers burst out laughing.

Man With No Name: I don't think it's nice, you laughing. You see, my mule don't like people laughing. He gets the crazy idea that you're laughing at him. Now if you apologise, like I know you're going to, I might convince him that you really didn't mean it.

As one gunslinger reaches for his gun, the Man With No Name shoots them all before they can even draw.

Classic.

From Dirty Harry

"I gots to know."

I usually use that one when I am about to do something knowing full well ahead of time that its stupid, and its going to hurt.

And if we're doing Yoda:

"There is no try, only 'Do' or 'Do Not.'"

Going from memory, sorry if they are mis-quoted, but for me its the message, not the words.

"There are some spurs that come in through the door, and there are some that come through the window."

'Marty, you need to come back with me...back to the future!'

'I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.'

'I am ... MEGATRON!'

-'You want a piece of me?'
-'No, I want TWO PIECES!'

Two from Serenity, just because they made me laugh:

Mal: "How many weapons you plannin' on bringin'? You only got two hands."

Jayne: "You know how it is, I get choosy. Like to keep my options open."
--
Zoe: "Jayne, do you really think any of us are going to get thru this?"

Jayne: (meekly) "...well I might..."

"Go ahead, make my day" - Dirty Harry

"I'll be back" - The Terminator

"Why does God need a starship" - Captain Kirk - Star Trek: The Search for God (I know, not the real title, but I've spent so much time calling it that, that I've forgotten the real title).

"Snakes. I hate snakes." Indiana Jones - Raiders of the Lost Ark

"I've had time to grow claws .... Jungle Red." Mary Hanes - The Women

"You want confirmation? .... There's your confirmation!" Unknown lieutenant - Tora, Tora, Tora.

"But where will I go, what will I do." Scarlet O'Hara - Gone With the Wind

"What a way to fly into a war, unarmed and out of gas." B-17 pilot flying into Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941 - Tora, Tora, Tora

Because this is NSG:

Vizzini: HE DIDN'T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE.
Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Also:
Inigo Montoya: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.
Westley: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.

Because this is NSG:

Vizzini: HE DIDN'T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE.
Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Also:
Inigo Montoya: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.
Westley: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.

Oh god yes.

"My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

Elwood: It's 106 miles to Chicago. We've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.
Jake: Hit it.

Oh god yes.

"My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

The Impressive Clergyman: Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam...
[cut to Westley, Inigo, and Fezzik]
The Impressive Clergyman: And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva...
[cut to the trio again]
The Impressive Clergyman: So tweasure your wuv.
Prince Humperdinck: Skip to the end.
The Impressive Clergyman: Have you the wing?
[cut to the trio once more]
The Impressive Clergyman: ...and do you,Pwincess Buwwercup...
Prince Humperdinck: Man and wife. Say man and wife.
The Impressive Clergyman: Man an' wife.

:D

Well...

"You don't need to follow me. You don't need to follow anybody! You've got to think for yourselves. You're all individuals!"

"Yes, we're all individuals!"

"You're all different!"

"Yes, we are all different!"

Elwood: It's 106 miles to Chicago. We've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.
Jake: Hit it.
Elwood: "Our lady of blessed acceleration, don't fail us now."

The Italian Job:
You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!

Zulu:
Lieutenant John Chard: The army doesn't like more than one disaster in a day.
Lieutenant Bromhead: Looks bad in the newspapers and upsets civilians at their breakfast.

Colour Sergeant Bourne: Hitch... Hitch, I saw you. You're alive.
Pte. Hitch: I am? Oh, thanks very much.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail:
King Arthur: [after Arthur's cut off both of the Black Knight's arms] Look, you stupid Bastard. You've got no arms left.
Black Knight: Yes I have.
King Arthur: *Look*!
Black Knight: It's just a flesh wound.

Dennis: Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
Dennis: Oh, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you.
Dennis: Oh but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away.

The Life of Brian:
Coordinator: Crucifixion?
Prisoner: Yes.
Coordinator: Good. Out of the door, line on the left, one cross each.
[Next prisoner]
Coordinator: Crucifixion?
Mr. Cheeky: Er, no, freedom actually.
Coordinator: What?
Mr. Cheeky: Yeah, they said I hadn't done anything and I could go and live on an island somewhere.
Coordinator: Oh I say, that's very nice. Well, off you go then.
Mr. Cheeky: No, I'm just pulling your leg, it's crucifixion really.
Coordinator: [laughing] Oh yes, very good. Well...
Mr. Cheeky: Yes I know, out of the door, one cross each, line on the left.

Pontius Pilate: Stwike him, Centuwion. Stwike him vewy wuffly!
Pontius Pilate: I have a vewy gweat fwiend in Wome called 'Biggus Dickus'.

The Meaning of Life:
Humphrey: Yes. Good. Nibbling the earlobe, uhh, kneading the buttocks, and so on and so forth. So, we have all these possibilities before we stampede towards the clitoris, Watson.
Watson: Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.

Grim Reaper: I AM DEATH!
Guest: Well, that's cast a gloom over the evening...

New Mother: Is it a boy or a girl?
Obstretrician: I think it's a bit early to start imposing roles on it, don't you?

"Eat it till you choke, you sick, twisted fuck!"

"Non!" -- Marcel Marceau, Slient Movie

"I'll get you, my pretty. And your little dog, too!" -- Wicked Witch of the West (Margaret Hamilton), The Wizard of Oz

Sydney Ellen Wade: "Your boss is the chief executive of fantasy land!"
President Andrew Shepherd: "Well, let's take him out back and beat the shit out of him!" -- Annette Benning and Michael Douglas, The American President

"Can I borrow your underpants for five minutes?" -- "Farmer" Ted (Anthony Michael Hall), Sixteen Candles

"Get away from her, you bitch!" -- Ripley (Sigourney Weaver), Aliens

"I love the smell of napalm in the morning." -- Kilgore (Robert Duvall), Apocolypse Now

"Pie Iesu Domine" *bonk* "Dona Eis Requiem" *bonk* -- chanting monks, Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Headmaster: There's a vacancy in history.
Tom Irwin: [Thoughtfully] That's very true.
Headmaster: In the school.
Tom Irwin: ....... oh.
-The History Boys

From star wars:

“Evacuate in our moment of triumph? I think you overestimate their chances.”

“That’s no moon, it’s a space station.”

“I find your lack of faith disturbing.”

"There'll be no one to stop us this time!"

From Godfather:

"Goddamn FBI don't respect nothin'." -Sonny

"Calo: In Sicily, women are more dangerous than shotguns."

"Don Corleone: Do you spend time with your family? Good. Because a man that doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real man."

From Pulp fiction:

Jules: Mmmm! Goddamn, Jimmie! This is some serious gourmet shit! Usually, me and Vince would be happy with some freeze-dried Taster's Choice right, but he springs this serious GOURMET shit on us! What flavor is this?

Vincent: That's a pretty fucking good milkshake. I don't know if it's worth five dollars but it's pretty fucking good.

Jurassic Park:

Dr. Alan Grant: You married?
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Occasionally.

Dr. Alan Grant: Well, where does he think he's going?
Dr. Ian Malcolm: When you gotta go, you gotta go.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: That is one big pile of shit.

Muldoon: Shoot her! Shoot her!

Dr. Grant: The door locks. Ellie, the DOOR LOCKS!

You smell that? Do you smell that? Napalm, son. I love the smell of napalm in the morning. Nothing else in the world has that smell. One time, we had this hill bombed for 12 hours straight. I walked up when it was all over. Not one stinkin' dink body was left. That smell, that gasoline smell. Smells like... victory. Some day this war's gonna end.

"The Lord, the Lord Jehovah has given unto you these fifteen..."
[drops one of the tablets]
"Oy! Ten! Ten commandments for all to obey!" -- Moses (Mel Brooks) History of the World, Part I

form the battle of britian
Sir David Kelly: We're not easily frightened. Also, we know how hard it is for an army to cross the channel. Last little corporal who tried came a cropper. So don't threaten or dictate to us until you're marching up Whitehall! And even then we won't listen.

Squadron Leader Skipper: How many hours in Spits?
Simon: Ten and a half, sir.
Squadron Leader Skipper: Let's make it *eleven*, before *Jerry* has you for *breakfast!*
Pilot Officer Archie: Spring chicken to shitehawk in one easy lesson.


Julius Caesar: Infamy, infamy. They've all got it in for me.

From Clue: "Husbands should be like tissues - soft, strong, and disposable."

From Short Circuit: "Your mother was a snowblower!"

From Poltergeist: They're heeeeeere.

I’ve always liked many a line from Millers Crossing, the film is full of memorable quotes.

Verna: What’re you chewin’ over?
Tom Reagan: Dream I had once. I was walkin’ in the woods, I don’t know why. Wind came up and blew me hat off.
Verna: And you chased it, right? You ran and ran, finally caught up to it and you picked it up. But it wasn’t a hat anymore and it changed into something else, something wonderful.
Tom Reagan: Nah, it stayed a hat and no, I didn’t chase it. Nothing more foolish than a man chasin’ his hat.

Leo O’Bannion: You ain’t got a license to kill bookies and today I ain’t sellin’. So take your flunky and dangle.

O’Doole: Jesus, Tom, I was just speculatin’ about a hypothesis. I know I don’t know nothin’.

Johnny Caspar: I’m talkin’ about friendship. I’m talkin’ about character. I’m talkin’ about–hell. Leo, I ain’t embarrassed to use the word–I’m talkin’ about ethics.


Also, though it’s not a film, for stinging quotes, you can’t do much better than Deadwood. Beware, some — nay, all — may offend:


Tom Nuttall: My bicycle masters boardwalk and quagmire with aplomb. Those that doubt me... suck cock by choice.

Al Swearengen: Be in my joint in two hours, we’re forming a fuckin’ government.

Al Swearengen: God rest the souls of that poor family... and pussy’s half price for the next 15 minutes.

Al Swearengen: What’s your name, it’s Jack, ain’t it?
Jack McCall: Yes, sir! You buy me a drink, I’ll make my mark.
Al Swearengen: Stick around camp, Jack- I’ll make mine for you.
Jack McCall: What in the hell is that supposed to mean?
Al Swearengen: Means there’s a horse waiting for you outside you’ll want to get on before somebody murders you who gives a fuck about right and wrong- or I do.
[Jack stares, dumbfounded]
Al Swearengen: It’s the paint, Jack. Right outside my joint.
Al Swearengen: [whispering] Run for your fucking life.

Wild Bill Hickok: Some goddamn point a man’s due to stop arguing with his-self and feeling twice the goddamn fool he knows he is ‘cause he can’t be something he tries to be every goddamn day without once getting to dinnertime and fucking it up. I don’t want to fight it anymore, understand me Charlie? And I don’t want you pissing in my ear about it. Can you let me go to hell the way I want to?

Wild Bill Hickok: Sure you wanna quit playing, Jack? The game’s always between you and getting called a ****.
Tom Nuttall: Meeting adjourned, fellas, take it outside.
Wild Bill Hickok: That dropped eye of yours looks like the hood on a **** to me, Jack. When you talk, your mouth looks like a **** moving.
Jack McCall: I ain’t gonna get in no gun fight with you, Hickok.
Wild Bill Hickok: But you will run your **** mouth at me. And I will take it to play poker.

"I am a star. I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star.

I am a big, bright, shining star. That's right."

"Desirée! You could have gotten mustard all over his brain!"
-I have forgotten the title even though I just finished watching it this movie was so mind-searingly awful