NationStates Jolt Archive

Have ever heard an 80s song so horrible that it made you want to shove a screw driver in your ear and fist your dog to death? Yeah, I'm talking about those overplayed songs that made you want to vomit.

Have ever heard an 80s song so horrible that it made you want to shove a screw driver in your ear and fist your dog to death? Yeah, I'm talking about those overplayed songs that made you want to vomit.

oh, it's a toss up (pun intended) between "Don't Worry, Be happy" and the "Macarena"

oh, it's a toss up (pun intended) between "Don't Worry, Be happy" and the "Macarena"

Pretty sure Macarena is 90s atleast.

Phil Colons with "Groovey Kind of Love." At least I think it was him. Ugh, crap.

That agadoo song, whatever it's called.

Anything with Phil Collins.

Pretty sure Macarena is 90s atleast.

correct, so my choice is "Don't Worry, Be Happy."

and it's still a toss up... :p

"Hey, mickey your so fine, your so fine, you blow my mind."

Please, use a gun to help blow your mind.

Pretty sure Macarena is 90s atleast.

The Macarena was so bad it corrupted the 80s and 00s as well as the 90s.

There's always this forgotten gem from about '86

"I Wanna Be a Cowboy" by Boys Don't Cry

Riding on the range,
I've got my hat - on,
I've got my boots - dusty.

I've got my saddle
On my horse.
He's called....T-t-t-t-t-trigger
Of course.

I wanna be a cowboy
and you can be my cowgirl
I wanna be a cowboy
and you can be my cowgirl
I wanna be a cowboy

(woman's voice)
Riding on the chuck wagon,
Following my man.
His name is Ted,
Can you believe that?
Camping on the prairie
Plays havoc with my hair.
Makes me feel quite dirty,
Though we all do sometimes

I wanna be a cowboy
and you can be my cowgirl
I wanna be a cowboy
and you can be my cowgirl
I wanna be a cowboy

Looking like a hero,
Six-gun at my side,
Chewing my tobacco.
Out on the horizon,
I see a puff of smoke.
Indians on the warpath,
(Indian voice) White man speak-em with forked tongue.
Or not.

I wanna be a cowboy
and you can be my cowgirl
I wanna be a cowboy

My name is Ted,
And one day I'll be dead yo yo.

These are just the lyrics. It's far worse with the music.

P.S. "Macarena" was from '96.

There's always this forgotten gem from about '86

"I Wanna Be a Cowboy" by Boys Don't Cry



These are just the lyrics. It's far worse with the music.




... someone altered the music and actually improved on it. :p

... someone altered the music and actually improved on it. :p

Of course that improved it. There's no way that song could have gotten worse.:D

Of course that improved it. There's no way that song could have gotten worse.:D

...

never...

EVER...

EVER...

give fate a challange like that!!! :eek:

Of course that improved it. There's no way that song could have gotten worse.:D

...

You're on!

Two words. Love shack.

Two words. Love shack.

I'll grant the travesty of music status as runner up, and say that overall, the B-52s are the worst band of all time.

On second thought perhaps "Rock Lobster" should be up there.

but I thought the badness was what makes 80's music so charming?

edit: hence depeche mode?

There's always this forgotten gem from about '86

"I Wanna Be a Cowboy" by Boys Don't Cry



These are just the lyrics. It's far worse with the music.

Oh no, no, no. Not even close. Not even the worst song of its year.

The rock-bottom most aggravating, most irritating, worst song of the '80's is, hands down, "Walking on Sunshine" by Katrina and the Waves. Living through a reprise of Hurricane Katrina would be preferable to having to listen to this song. Every time the latest idiotic commercial that uses this wipe-out of a ditty comes on, I want to do a search-and-destroy at the advertising agency that produced it.

And a dishonorable mention to Frankie Goes to Hollywood's "Relax", for polluting the airwaves with the most descriptions of sexually deviant behavior per minute ever recorded.

There's always this forgotten gem from about '86

"I Wanna Be a Cowboy" by Boys Don't Cry



These are just the lyrics. It's far worse with the music.

P.S. "Macarena" was from '96.

Oh no, no, no. Not even close. Not even the worst song of its year.

The rock-bottom most aggravating, most irritating, worst song of the '80's is, hands down, "Walking on Sunshine" by Katrina and the Waves. Living through a reprise of Hurricane Katrina would be preferable to having to listen to this song. Every time the latest idiotic commercial that uses this wipe-out of a ditty comes on, I want to do a search-and-destroy at the advertising agency that produced it.

And a dishonorable mention to Frankie Goes to Hollywood's "Relax", for polluting the airwaves with the most descriptions of sexually deviant behavior per minute ever recorded.

Y'know, that stick in your arse is stuck there so tightly that whoever pulls it out will be crowned King of England.

We Built This City by Jefferson Starship.

Another one that sucks (despite my love for the Bears) is the Superbowl Shuffle. Sure Walter Payton can turn on a dime and run through a 250 lb DE, but he can't sing or dance.

The rock-bottom most aggravating, most irritating, worst song of the '80's is, hands down, "Walking on Sunshine" by Katrina and the Waves.

Agreed.

Another one that sucks (despite my love for the Bears) is the Superbowl Shuffle. Sure Walter Payton can turn on a dime and run through a 250 lb DE, but he can't sing or dance.

Yellow Flag. IMO Song is disqualified. None was expecting the Chicago Bears to sing at a professional level and none of them were trying to make a career out of it. I think it was done more as a lark.

We are the World.

We are the World.

QFT. It doesn't even sound good.

There is so much awfulness from the 80s. Trouble is, you had to wade through it on commercial radio to hear the good stuff, and there's a lot of good stuff, too.

BAD:

Debbie Gibson
Tiffany
(Why do we listen to teenagers to begin with? WTF do they know about "shaking your love" anyway?)
Madonna
George Michael with or without Wham!
Nena
(A hit in the US because it was in German...odd)
Boys Don't Cry (whoever posted "I Wanna Be A Cowboy", and thus making me REMEMBER it, needs to be locked in a portable toilet and set on fire.)
Johnny Hates Jazz
Kajagoogoo
The Mary Jane Girls
The Waitresses
Styx (in the 80s, they sucked...tolerable in the 70s)
Poison (and basically most every other hair band with the possible exception of Def Leppard, and yes, that means Whitesnake.)
Lita Ford ("Kiss Me Deadly"? Okay, kiss this pneumatic nail gun.)
Lisa Lisa and/or Cult Jam
DeBarge
Atlantic Starr (the extra R is for "repulsive")

...and those are just off the top of my now-disturbed head.

We are the World.

Its not the worst song in the world in and of itself, but if you measured it in talent available to quality song output ratio its one of the worst songs in the history of the world.

We Built This City by Jefferson Starship.

Y'know, without the overproduction and subpar solo vocals, it wouldn't have been nearly as annoying. The lyrics and verses are cheap and trite, but the hook is undeniable.

Another one that sucks (despite my love for the Bears) is the Superbowl Shuffle. Sure Walter Payton can turn on a dime and run through a 250 lb DE, but he can't sing or dance.

Agreed, however, it wasn't really a hit outside of Chicago, and...

None was expecting the Chicago Bears to sing at a professional level and none of them were trying to make a career out of it. I think it was done more as a lark.

...agreed as well.

And lay off "We Are the World" -- Quincy Jones managed to put together a song that involved dozens of fevered egos and did it better than I believe anyone else could have done it. Quincy's a legend, and the fact that the tune charted at all is proof.

Its not the worst song in the world in and of itself, but if you measured it in talent available to quality song output ratio its one of the worst songs in the history of the world.

Ah, but too many cooks spoil the broth -- I repeat my assertion that getting that many fevered egos to do ANYthing, even "We Are The World", is no mean feat.

The discount bin is full of recordings made with conglomerations of talent. Asia comes to mind, so does Velvet Revolver. One of the only groups to pull off combining so much star power in one group was The Traveling Wilburys.

Y'know, that stick in your arse is stuck there so tightly that whoever pulls it out will be crowned King of England.

All hail King Intangelon the First. And pull my finger first while you're at it :p

I'm gonna have to back up Mickey.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_oaSZxd9jOY

I do have to admit though, I'd have to lick a hell of a lot of frogs to trip that badly on my own.

I don't know. Really, pretty much all 80's music makes me feel that way.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_oaSZxd9jOY

I do have to admit though, I'd have to lick a hell of a lot of frogs to trip that badly on my own.

BELIEVE in the power of the monkey!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_oaSZxd9jOY

I do have to admit though, I'd have to lick a hell of a lot of frogs to trip that badly on my own.

He licked twice as many frogs for "Sledgehammer (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqyc37aOqT0)".

oh, it's a toss up (pun intended) between "Don't Worry, Be happy" and the "Macarena"

Don't worry,be happy is awesome and I think the MAcarena is mid 90's.

He licked twice as many frogs for "Sledgehammer (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqyc37aOqT0)".

And while I'm hatin' on Peter Gabriel, I'll have to mention "In Your Eyes". I want to shoot John Cusack everytime I hear that song.

"Salisbury Hill" is OK, however. He gets a pass on that one. ;)

The worst song of the 80's, here it is......

Lucky Stars By Dean Friedman

"What are you crazy? how in the hell can you say what you just said?
I was talking to myself. shut the door and come to bed.
By the way, I forgot to say, your endearing mother called today.
Did you see lisa?
Yes I saw lisa.
Is that why angry?
I wasn’t angry.
Maybe a little.
Not even maybe.
Must be the weather.
Now don’t be a baby.
We’ll how am I supposed to feel with all the things you don’t reveal and you can thank your lucky stars that we’re not as smart as we’d like to think we are.

Would you like to talk about it?
There’s not much to say.
We had lunch this afternoon. her life’s in disarray.
She still goes around as if she is always stumbling off a cliff.
Do you still want her?
What are you saying?
Do you still want her?
Baby stop playing.
Really, I mean it. can you forget her?
Baby, now stop it. you should know better.
I know this is hard to do. but, there’s no one for me but you and

You can thank your lucky stars that we’re not as smart as we’d like to think we are.

Baby, I’m sorry, I was wrong, I have no alibis.
I was acting like a fool and I apologize.
Listen, hon’, I know you’re dumb, but that’s o.k., you don’t have to look so glum.
Do you still love me?
Yes, I still love you.
You mean, you’re not just being nice.
No, I’m not just being nice.
Do you feel sleepy.
Aw, you’re so sincere. yes, I feel sleepy.
Well, slide over here. ’cause I may not be all that bright, but I know how to hold you tight and,

You can thank your lucky stars that we’re not as smart as we’d like to think we are and
You can thank your lucky stars that we’re not as smart as we’d like to think we are and
We can thank our lucky stars that we’re not as smart as we’d like to think we are."

All of them.

New kids on the block stuff was pretty bad, so was this gem (http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=eBGIQ7ZuuiU).

Rickrolled, BITCH

Two words. Love shack.

God, yes! Argh! I f-ing HATE Love Shack.

"Wanted Dead Or Alive" by Bon Jovi.

Of course that improved it. There's no way that song could have gotten worse.:D

THAT is one of the best fuckin' buttless chap songs you'll ever boogie in. Garner some taste.
:mad:

edit: hence depeche mode?

Hey, Just Can't Get Enough makes me want to strangle kittens.
*but*
I love a lot of their later stuff.

Two words. Love shack.

QFT.
*nods emphatically*

God, yes! Argh! I f-ing HATE Love Shack.

Agreed, and Mickey.

Personally though I don't mind We Built This City, go figure.

Also the vocals in The Final Countdown are pretty bad, but it's pure awesomeness makes up for it. Also about two months ago I saw a busker playing it on a violin, it was one of the greatest things I've seen in public all year.

Have ever heard an 80s song so horrible that it made you want to shove a screw driver in your ear and fist your dog to death?

I would find difficult to FIRST shove a screw driver in my ear and THEN killing my dog. There are good chances that I will faint out after the first part.

Anyway, Madonna must die. And the A-Ha. And the Spandau Ballet.

The worst song of the 80's, here it is......

Lucky Stars By Dean Friedman


We had a similar conversation in my office and this is the song we picked as well. It is truly the most awful shit ever recorded. Unfortunately it was in the 1970's so doesn't really count except in the way that it was still around polluting the minds everytime it was played.