NationStates Jolt Archive

What do you want your funeral like when you die? Be as creative as humanly possible.

I'd like to have all my loved ones gather around a volcano as an airplae flies over and drops me over the lava with a parachute and various fireworks strapped to my lifeless body. That way before I fall into the volcano the heat will light the fireworks and I'll go out in style. :cool:

I want to have my ashes dropped from a plane but little do those involved know that i've rigged the urn to open just as the plane door is opened. As they fight through the haze of me to get out i'll be sure never to be forgotten :D

I want mine to be like Strong Bad's (http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail168.html)

My sister once told me the most creative funeral is cremation then having his/her friends feed the ashes to a pregnant couple so he/she would be reborn as their child. :D

ground zero at a nuclear test site, before one last blast. that is what i had considered and prefered when younger. now though i think i would prefer my remains being in effect composted. returned to nature and the cycles of life.

i think that is only fair in return for all the cycles of life have given to me, as to each of us, in living.

however my funeral is held, i'm not exactly planing on attending. whatever does, is unlikely to be, or retain much of what i think of as me.

so the main thing, besides my remains being returned to nature, is for everyone who attends to have a good time.

i think i'd like to have michael and the little band play knights in white satin.

maybe a salmon and frybread feast too.

=^^=
.../\...

I intend to have my "friends" remain seated on the thrust side of a giant turbine, wearing goggles and holding dining utensils, while a couple of friends from my wedding toss me, as they would a caber, into said turbine. There's going to be a giant white canvas directly behind them, as to leave a very, very lasting impression that another family member will fence on a certain preferred market.
Of course, a short amount of attention should be paid to draining any particularly acidic liquids from my corpse beforehand, but it should all work out.
Film all along.

I want to be cremated to the sound of 'Fire' by the Crazy World of Arthur Brown
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hD6KUzP3MQQ
the whole service performed by a magician with a glamorous assistant.

I don't really care about the funeral, I just hope there's plenty of booze at the wake.

Fit my dead body into a Batman costume, then shoot me into space on course for Alpha Centauri.

I wish to be returned to the mud from whence I came. *nod*

Wonder if I could arrange for an actor to show up at my funeral dressed up as me to say some lines I've written that I'd like to tell people when I'm dead.

It would be even cooler to film a 30 minute parody of me and my life to be shown at the funeral.

Unfortunately I think people would find the first idea disturbing and the second more offensive then funny.

As for my body, it would be grand to be burned on a pyre but maybe that's not very practical. The common approach to be buried whole to slowly rot in the cold, wet, dirty, dark earth doesn't sound appealing. I'll go for first being freeze dried then composted (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/3473103.stm).

I'm saving up for a Viking funeral on the Chesapeake Bay. After the service, there will be a crab-feed and beers-of-the-world tasting party.

Also punch and pie.

http://www.ascendantpictures.com/images/funeral.jpg

I'd like a professional choir to sing some favourite songs of mine.

My sister once told me the most creative funeral is cremation then having his/her friends feed the ashes to a pregnant couple so he/she would be reborn as their child. :D

Do some people actually do this? :eek:

I won't be having a funeral. There won't be anyone left alive to officiate or attend it if I did. Mwahahahaha

mine would be skiydiving to the whitehouse strapped with a lot of c4 and tnt, and as i get to the front door, i'll say"fuck all of ya'll motherfuckers!" and blow my self up, while mooning the prez...

Strapped on a atomic bomb falling on Russia. There you can talk about going out with a bang. :D

It would be just like a regular funeral, but I'd turn it into a game for some heartfelt memories. All of my friends and relatives would split into 2 person teams. They'd stand 20 feet away from my grave, and the first team to toss me in from there would win my inheritance.

The ceremony will be a traditional Jewish ceremony, adhering to all the rituals.

But my tomb will not be traditional.

My tomb will be like a miniature missile silo. My coffin, while normal-sized, will be fully-functioning ballistic missile - and will have the range to reach Jerusalem from wherever I am (I'll use the latest in propulsion technologies). I'm still working on how the 'silo' opens - maybe my tombstone will not be on top of the coffin, and I'll just have to push through the dirt. Or maybe the tombstone will be part of the missile.

See, according to Jewish tradition, when the Messiah comes, the dead shall roll underground towards Jerusalem. I, however, will take the high road. When the Messiah arrives, my tomb-silo will open, and I shall fly towards Jerusalem.

I'll also have to figure out how NOT to get shot down by the Arrow missile defense system. Perhaps in the future I will move to Israel and join the Amad - at which point I'll just have my coffin broadcast my old access codes. Or I'll outfit my coffin with stealth technology.

Super Smash Bros. tourney. Winner decides what to do with the body.

Not original, but interesting:

http://jewelry.about.com/cs/syntheticdiamonds/a/lifegem_diamond.htm

I'd like to be shot into space in an unmanned shuttle and left to drift through the Universe forever.

The funeral would be at Kennedy Space Station, and Guns 'n' Roses would play "Live and Let Die" as my body was launched.

Do some people actually do this? :eek:

Erm.....maybe...:cool:

Replace the statue on top of the US Capitol building with a pose of my naked body. *nod*

Replace the statue on top of the US Capitol building with a pose of my naked body. *nod*

ROFL.

It's not very creative, but a funeral pyre is most desirable. I want my ashes to get carried off by the wind. More importantly is that everbody get together and have a humongous party afterwards where hopefully nobody will remember what they did by the time they sober up.

I wish to be returned to the mud from whence I came. *nod*

Golem! I knew it!

Not original, but interesting:

http://jewelry.about.com/cs/syntheticdiamonds/a/lifegem_diamond.htm

I remember that! :D

Ah yes, perhaps someone is gonna have their ashes sent to Keith Richards ...?

The ceremony will be a traditional Jewish ceremony, adhering to all the rituals.

But my tomb will not be traditional.

My tomb will be like a miniature missile silo. My coffin, while normal-sized, will be fully-functioning ballistic missile - and will have the range to reach Jerusalem from wherever I am (I'll use the latest in propulsion technologies). I'm still working on how the 'silo' opens - maybe my tombstone will not be on top of the coffin, and I'll just have to push through the dirt. Or maybe the tombstone will be part of the missile.

See, according to Jewish tradition, when the Messiah comes, the dead shall roll underground towards Jerusalem. I, however, will take the high road. When the Messiah arrives, my tomb-silo will open, and I shall fly towards Jerusalem.

I'll also have to figure out how NOT to get shot down by the Arrow missile defense system. Perhaps in the future I will move to Israel and join the Amad - at which point I'll just have my coffin broadcast my old access codes. Or I'll outfit my coffin with stealth technology.
Classy. :)

I'd actually like a natural burial, perhaps with a small shrine nearby in the off-chance that a future incarnation is in the area and catches just the slightest memory of what he (or she) once was...

In short, something mystical, spiritual and peaceful.

The ceremony will be a traditional Jewish ceremony, adhering to all the rituals.

But my tomb will not be traditional.

My tomb will be like a miniature missile silo. My coffin, while normal-sized, will be fully-functioning ballistic missile - and will have the range to reach Jerusalem from wherever I am (I'll use the latest in propulsion technologies). I'm still working on how the 'silo' opens - maybe my tombstone will not be on top of the coffin, and I'll just have to push through the dirt. Or maybe the tombstone will be part of the missile.

See, according to Jewish tradition, when the Messiah comes, the dead shall roll underground towards Jerusalem. I, however, will take the high road. When the Messiah arrives, my tomb-silo will open, and I shall fly towards Jerusalem.

I'll also have to figure out how NOT to get shot down by the Arrow missile defense system. Perhaps in the future I will move to Israel and join the Amad - at which point I'll just have my coffin broadcast my old access codes. Or I'll outfit my coffin with stealth technology.

Nice one!

What do you want your funeral like when you die? Be as creative as humanly possible.

I'd like to have all my loved ones gather around a volcano as an airplae flies over and drops me over the lava with a parachute and various fireworks strapped to my lifeless body. That way before I fall into the volcano the heat will light the fireworks and I'll go out in style. :cool:

I want to have a party funeral. A big party. That way I know I'll never be forgotten.

I want my body chopped up and the parts sold to the highest bidders (medical schools, wealthy elderly in need of organs, wealthy cannibals in need of lunch, wealthy football teams in need of an emergency bladder), and the proceeds can pay for the pizza and booze at my funeral party.
Just because I'm only so much rotting meat doesn't mean I expect everyone else's afternoon to suffer.

If I somehow die, I'd probably come back as a Dracolich.

http://users.tpg.com.au/shaoel/images/dracolich.jpg

I think it would be interesting to be mummified and put on display, like Jeremy Bentham.

I'm saving up for a Viking funeral on the Chesapeake Bay.

I want to do the same thing, only on Lake Superior, so that my ashes filter through the entire Great Lakes system. Of course, this ties in with my retirement plans, which consist of sailing around the Great Lakes in a longboat, pillaging small coastal villages on the Ohioan, Canadian, and Wisconsin shores.

The body farm is where I'm going.

I just want to be thrown into a ditch. Nothing much else, really.

If I die anytime soon (which I pray for every second) I would like to dressed in a cosmonaut space suit. Preferably it would be ripped off Yuri Gagarin's corpse complete with all his medals. In the middle of the night my corpse would be dropped off at my ex-girlfriend's place (wherever the hell she stays at now) with a flag planted through my chest that reads: 'SAM, YOU STRUMPET, YOU HARLOT, YOU WHORE. I GAVE MY HEART TO YOU AND YOU RAN OVER IT LIKE YESTERDAY'S RACCOON ROADKILL. YOU PROBABLY HAD SOME HAND IN THIS. SEE YOU IN HELL". Hopefully this ordeal would scar her for life and cause her current boyfriend to break up with her. Its not really not so much a funeral as it is a way of getting back at a bitch. [/emo]

;)

Dressed up,
all in black
The world mourns
another untimely loss.

"He was taken away too early"
A mourner cries out.

As they pass my casket
another one says
" He had so much potential. He could have
done so much for the world"

The pallbearers load my body in the hearse
and it takes away towards
my final resting place.

As we pass through town,
the world pays its last respects,
sad that another one has slipped away.

Lowered deep into the ground,
I find the place where I belong.

In the grave,
in the ground,
under the dirt is where I am bound.

As they live
a mourner says
"Its sad to see another loss,
but he took his cross".

You see,
the world may mourn my death
But God is pleased.
Another day, another funeral,
Because I am daily dying for Him.

;)

Dressed up,
all in black
The world mourns
another untimely loss.

"He was taken away too early"
A mourner cries out.

As they pass my casket
another one says
" He had so much potential. He could have
done so much for the world"

The pallbearers load my body in the hearse
and it takes away towards
my final resting place.

As we pass through town,
the world pays its last respects,
sad that another one has slipped away.

Lowered deep into the ground,
I find the place where I belong.

In the grave,
in the ground,
under the dirt is where I am bound.

As they live
a mourner says
"Its sad to see another loss,
but he took his cross".

You see,
the world may mourn my death
But God is pleased.
Another day, another funeral,
Because I am daily dying for Him.

Pretty good, but it lacks creativity. Come to think of it that funeral is REALLY average. Thats the way most funerals are.