Man faces 30 years in prison...
... over the theft of a doughnut. A 52 cent doughnut.
Man faces long prison term over doughnut theft
Officials say clerk pushed, changing misdemeanor to strong-arm robbery
Updated: 9:01 a.m. ET Oct. 8, 2007
FARMINGTON, Mo. - It's a hefty price for a pastry: A man accused of stealing a 52-cent doughnut could face time in jail.
Authorities said Scott A. Masters, 41, slipped the doughnut into his sweat shirt without paying, then pushed away a clerk who tried to stop him as he fled the store.
The push is being treated as minor assault, which transforms a misdemeanor shoplifting charge to a strong-armed robbery with a potential prison term of five to 15 years. Because he has a criminal history, prosecutors say they could seek 30 years.
"Strong-arm robbery? Over a doughnut? That's impossible," Masters told the St. Louis Post-Dispatch from jail. He admitted that he took the pastry but denied touching the employee. "There's no way I would've pushed a woman over a doughnut."
Farmington Police Chief Rick Baker said state law treats the shoplifting and assault as forcibly stealing property. The amount of force and value of the property doesn't matter.
"It's not the doughnut," Baker said. "It's the assault."
Masters said he didn't even get to enjoy his ill-gotten gains: He threw the doughnut away as he fled.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21191119/
Oh dear. And he didn't even get to eat it.
Layarteb
10-10-2007, 05:36
Yeah it is rather harsh for a donought even with a prior. I'm all for punishing the criminals but the punishment should fit the crime and still be a deterrance. I wonder what his "prior" was and how long ago that doubles the sentence.
Wilgrove
10-10-2007, 05:52
Wow, are the criminals getting stupider nowadays or is it just me?
Miodrag Superior
10-10-2007, 05:59
Even with a prior offence, grabbing a doughnut and running away calls for not for more than 6 months -- in a civilised country that is.
Of course, it is an established fact that the anglo-saxon (not capitalised on purpose) common so-called law is not civilised.
The Brevious
10-10-2007, 06:01
Wow, are the criminals getting stupider nowadays or is it just me?
Erm, never ... NEVER ... word something quite like that unless you don't mind some sophomoric responses.
Well, if the thief wasn't an idiot, this wouldn't have happened. I'm afraid I don't feel the slightest bit sorry for him.
Thumbless Pete Crabbe
10-10-2007, 06:07
Meh. I'm all for the three-strikes, and the like. It's like grandpa says: "if you're going to steal, at least steal big." That way, you don't risk 30 years for nothing. :)
Thumbless Pete Crabbe
10-10-2007, 06:08
Even with a prior offence, grabbing a doughnut and running away calls for not for more than 6 months -- in a civilised country that is.
Of course, it is an established fact that the anglo-saxon (not capitalised on purpose) common so-called law is not civilised.
Eh. It's the best system we have going. Move to Louisiana if you don't like it. :p
New Malachite Square
10-10-2007, 06:09
How does pushing someone merit 15 years, doughnut or no doughnut?
What makes this thief stupider than the norm? :confused:
Miodrag Superior
10-10-2007, 06:17
Even with a prior offence, grabbing a doughnut and running away calls for not for more than 6 months -- in a civilised country that is.
Of course, it is an established fact that the anglo-saxon (not capitalised on purpose) common so-called law is not civilised.
Eh. It's the best system we have going. Move to Louisiana if you don't like it. :p
The fact that is the best system miserable wretches in the United-Statelets-of-a-Belt-in-North-America-Usurping-the-Good-Name-of-All-of-America have does not mean that we from the civilised world have only an option to move to formerly civilised France's colony Louisianne.
Why would anyone born in a code law country ever move to an authoritarian organisation masquerading as a state that practices so-called common so-called law???
The South Islands
10-10-2007, 06:27
The fact that is the best system miserable wretches in the United-Statelets-of-a-Belt-in-North-America-Usurping-the-Good-Name-of-All-of-America have does not mean that we from the civilised world have only an option to move to formerly civilised France's colony Louisianne.
Why would anyone born in a code law country ever move to an authoritarian organisation masquerading as a state that practices so-called common so-called law???
Your legal system uses common law on the federal level, so it can't be that bad.
Can it?
I wish people here could get sent to jail for 15 years for pushing an employee at work.
Or hitting them with a cart.
Or throwing coffee at them.
Or calling them prostitutes.
God damn I hate living in the hick suburb of Vancouver.
United Chicken Kleptos
10-10-2007, 06:49
Wow. I'd just have him pay for the doughnut and send him home. The legal fees should be enough punishment.
Dontgonearthere
10-10-2007, 06:54
And people wonder why the US jail system is overcrowded.
Thumbless Pete Crabbe
10-10-2007, 06:55
Wow. I'd just have him pay for the doughnut and send him home. The legal fees should be enough punishment.
I doubt the guy's going to pay for legal representation. Stole a doughnut, remember? :p
Miodrag Superior
10-10-2007, 07:01
Your legal system uses common law on the federal level, so it can't be that bad.
Can it?
What do you mean "my system". My country's? -- No, of course it does not.
Proper punishment for this guy would be forcing him to eat half a kilo of lemons, after which the store clerk gets to push him into a pool :D
Thumbless Pete Crabbe
10-10-2007, 07:31
What do you mean "my system". My country's? -- No, of course it does not.
Hehe. This is an out-of-character (AKA OOC) forum. ;)
Miodrag Superior
10-10-2007, 07:35
Hehe. This is an out-of-character (AKA OOC) forum. ;)
So what exactly are you giggling about?
None of the countries I hold citizenship of -- or rather "passports", for that is all I care about when it comes to citizenships -- is any of the anglo-saxon sewers with anglo-saxon tyranny of common so-called "law".
Saige Dragon
10-10-2007, 08:42
In some countries they'd lop off a hand or two for stealing a donut. :)
Demented Hamsters
10-10-2007, 15:50
it didn't mention what sort of jelly doughnut he was trying to steal.
If it was this one:
http://www.glumbert.com/media/jellydonut
(ignore the first 45 seconds - it tries too hard to be funny)
I think 30 years is apt.
Meh. I'm all for the three-strikes, and the like. It's like grandpa says: "if you're going to steal, at least steal big." That way, you don't risk 30 years for nothing. :)
Criminals aren't renowned for great cost/benefit analysis skills.
H N Fiddlebottoms VIII
10-10-2007, 16:23
If only he'd stolen a Klondike Bar instead of a donut, he could have at least gotten a commercial out of the matter.
Team Invention
10-10-2007, 16:32
it didn't mention what sort of jelly doughnut he was trying to steal.
If it was this one:
http://www.glumbert.com/media/jellydonut
(ignore the first 45 seconds - it tries too hard to be funny)
I think 30 years is apt.
OMG that was like the dumbest video I've ever seen! :sniper:
THAT donut deserves 30 years.
Aegis Firestorm
10-10-2007, 17:33
What makes this thief stupider than the norm? :confused:
He stole a doughnut. Thats stealing from the cops.
Lame Bums
10-10-2007, 17:40
... over the theft of a doughnut. A 52 cent doughnut.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21191119/
Oh dear. And he didn't even get to eat it.
For 52 cents, I would just deck the guy right then and there, and tell him not to do it again. Nothing like a little positive reinforcement in behavior, you know...
30 years is just ridiculous and a waste of money for the already-overloaded jails
The_pantless_hero
10-10-2007, 17:43
Yeah it is rather harsh for a donought even with a prior. I'm all for punishing the criminals but the punishment should fit the crime and still be a deterrance. I wonder what his "prior" was and how long ago that doubles the sentence.
Just justice? Not in America, punk.
Linus and Lucy
10-10-2007, 19:27
All theft is morally equivalent because, well, all theft is theft.
And since theft is a violation of individual rights, it is morally equivalent to murder.
He should be tortured and executed.