NationStates Jolt Archive

As the title states, if you could go back in time and change/edit one thing about a movie that you otherwise thought was good, what would you change, and why do you think it would need to be changed?

Mine would be the getting rid of the cheesy '80s pop music in the movie, "The Last Dragon". I really liked the movie the first time I saw it in the '80s (so much so that I recently bought the DVD), but when I watched it again, I found myself muting the TV during when the music was playing.











"Who's da mastah?"

As the title states, if you could go back in time and change/edit one thing about a movie that you otherwise thought was good, what would you change, and why do you think it would need to be changed?

Mine would be the getting rid of the cheesy '80s pop music in the movie, "The Last Dragon". I really liked the movie the first time I saw it in the '80s (so much so that I recently bought the DVD), but when I watched it again, I found myself muting the TV during when the music was playing.
Who's da mastah?"
I didn't like the twist in The Sixth Sense. I would have taken that out.









"

There's a scene in the Kevin Costner Robin Hood film where they pole-vault over the castle walls for something or other.

I've always thought it would have been great if they'd pole-vaulted into the wall , slowly sliding down to the moat and their subsequent death at which point mourning music would start and the credits would appear.

THE END.

There's a few films where I've thought it would be better where, as the hero makes a critical life-or-death move, that the death was the better option for the movie.

Aside from being a nice 'shock' for the audience, it would save an hour or so of my oft tormented cinematic life.

I would change Gigli. Specifically, I would change the part where the guy who came up with it did not die horribly before unleashing his abomination on the world.

"Who's da mastah?"

Sho'Nuff, Shogun of Harlem. Natch.



Anikin would have made R2 D2 rather than C-3PO. It just makes way more sense and plays into the movies that were already made. R2 was the active agent in the original movies and if R2 been made Anakin, he could have even tasked R2 with looking after his kid right before he went apeshit, it would have explained the 'bots determination and his extraordinary attributes.

I would change Terminator 2 so that it wasn't about a kid. That movie could have been a lot more brutal if the plot wasn't focused on Eddie Furlong's whiny butt.

I'd change how Terminator III ended with the nuclear war happening despite the events of Terminator II. Frankly that seriously pissed me off because it was completely unnecessary, and while the first two movies were at best popcorn flicks, the third was just shit.

I'd go with Star Trek 5 for the movie I'd alter. The change? It'd never have been released.

Jar-jar Binks, edited out of history. Think about how much better the movies would have been.

Delete the second and third parts of the Matrix triology. A shame, great movie (for its time) being shot in each foot with each sequel.

I would change the location of the second Death Star in ROTJ to Kashyyyk as it was supposed to be, thus changing all the Ewoks into enslaved Wookies. Wookies could win a fight against Imperial Forces without it bending your mind.

Delete the second and third parts of the Matrix triology. A shame, great movie (for its time) being shot in each foot with each sequel.The third wasn't as bad as the second. In the second it was basically Neo in god-mode the whole time. Yawn.

But I suppose every movie is like that.

Annihilate all the Star wars prequels. End of story.

I'd go with Star Trek 5 for the movie I'd alter. The change? It'd never have been released.

Yeah, that too.

Also do the same to VI. And completely remove the death of Renee and Robert from Generations, and preferably the destruction of the Enterprise-D as well.

Oh, and eliminate Nemesis too.

I would change the ending of Seven...the ending just kinda craps out at the end...

Would have NOT had "Old Yeller" catch rabies.:(

I would change the ending of Seven...the ending just kinda craps out at the end...

I'm kinda surprised you weren't going to mention who you would change as the lead actors in your favourite porn.

Would have NOT had "Old Yeller" catch rabies.:(

I'd have Old Yeller kill everyone.

I'd have Old Yeller kill everyone.

Wasn't that Cujo?

I'd have Old Yeller kill everyone.

:eek:

Wasn't that Cujo?

Cujo only killed what, three people?

In Risky Business, I would have liked it better if Tom Cruse had not gotten into Harvard.

And in Alfred Hitchcock's Life Boat, I wish the German guy never got murdered. He was cool.

Cujo only killed what, three people?
Something like that ... but that's out of the overall actors in the movie, which is what proportion?

In Pride and Prejudice, Kiera Knightly would have been naked.

I would make thriller movies actually thrilling instead of cheesy boring.

Something like that ... but that's out of the overall actors in the movie, which is what proportion?

Beats me, only read the book. But in my version of Old Yeller, he'd kill everyone. Even the extras. Even the cameraman!

Cujo only killed what, three people?
Three or four, depending on whether you want to give him credit for killing the kid through car-siege.

I'd remove Will Smith from the up coming I Am Legend and replace him with someone competent. I loved the book and the black and white version (though I've yet to see Omega Man), and I'd like to see the newest version work as well.

I would remove Ben Stiller from just about everything and replace him with someone at least moderately funny.

In The Passion of the Christ, Jesus would have been an unstoppable killer cyborg.

I'd change the ending of Titanic so Jack comes back a flesh-eating zombie. All movies are instantly made cool by the arrival of a flesh-eating zombie.
And the old woman falls into the sea as she's about to throw the necklace overboard.
And we get to see more of Kate Winslett's tits.


I'd make some guy at the end of a M. Night. Shaylalalaman (however the hell you spell it, you know who I mean) movie turn to the camera and say, "well, that plot twist sucked fetid monkeys balls didn't it?" and then proceed to beat M. Night with a Big Stick.
Any one of his movies. Don't care which.


At the end of Braveheart when he yells, "Freedom!" I have the crowd crack up laughing and start prancing around mimicking his cry and dropping their hankies.
And then have Mel come back as a flesh-eating zombie (see above for reasons why).


I'd make Star Wars episodes I & II so they didn't suck. And kill off Jar Jar Binks in a grusome, yet hilarious, way (and no, he wouldn't be coming back as a zombie. He'd just be dead). And show Natalie Portman's tits regularly throughout the movie.

I would make Paul Verhoeven agree to 1) actually read and understand Starship Troopers and 2) to make the movie of it true to what Heinlein actually wrote, before he was allowed anywhere near it. Or better yet, just fire him and give the job to someone who will actually read the book.

I'd keep Jar Jar Binks in Star Wars, that character did fit perfectly into the prequels.

What I would remove is the droid factory where Amidala fell into a giant cup, R2 flew and C3PO misplaced his head. The prequels in general where silly but that factory was too much. It looked more like a video game then a movie.

I'd make Star Wars episodes I & II so they didn't suck. And kill off Jar Jar Binks in a grusome, yet hilarious, way (and no, he wouldn't be coming back as a zombie. He'd just be dead). And show Natalie Portman's tits regularly throughout the movie.

Good idea, maybe have him eaten by Jack-the-flesh-eating-zombie ? :P

I would give Shawshank Redemption a really unhappy ending where Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman's characters die horribly.

Naked Jessica Rabbit. FTW.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sP-aKSiPibo

:)

...also in Where Eagles Dare I would have Clint Eastwoods gun jam. And get rid of the Bell helicopter - what the hell was a Bell helicopter doing in the film

Naked Jessica Rabbit. FTW.

No need to change the movie - unless you want above the waist nudity in addition to below the waist...

An incident that occurs during the scene in which Jessica Rabbit is riding through Toon Town with Bob Hoskins Jessica Rabbit in an animated cab. As the taxi runs into a lamp post, Jessica and Hoskins are both thrown from the car; Jessica lands spinning, which causes her red dress to start hiking up her body. [b]For a few frames of Jessica's second spin her underwear supposedly disappears, revealing Jessica's unclothed nether regions.[b]

The frames in question are frames 2170-2172 on side 4 of the laserdisc version; in these frames Jessica's pubic region is colored darker than the surrounding flesh-colored areas. Whether this coloration was intended to suggest nudity or was the result of a paint error is unknown. The intention might have been to paint the darker regions a color representative of underwear, but an error in the color markup chart produced some ambiguous images instead.
http://www.snopes.com/disney/films/jessica.asp

No need to change the movie - unless you want above the waist nudity in addition to below the waist...


http://www.snopes.com/disney/films/jessica.asp

Sounds like a tribute to Betty Boop, supposedly there is a similar subliminal shot in every Betty Boop cartoon.

No need to change the movie - unless you want above the waist nudity in addition to below the waist...


http://www.snopes.com/disney/films/jessica.asp
I meant naked Jessica Rabbit in other movies. Like Lord Of The Rings. Or King Kong.
Sounds like a tribute to Betty Boop, supposedly there is a similar subliminal shot in every Betty Boop cartoon.

Awesome.

I know this might seem rather cheesy but oh, well.
Too bad on you.

Star Wars,

the re-releases of the original films,
for the most part I've come to deal with the artist's right
to alter or complete a piece as they want it,


but this one is one that i totally disagree with,
and the argument for the sake of continuity is not even needed.




at the end of Return of the Jedi,
when the ghosts of Yoda, Obi-wan, and Anakin Skywalker are standing there,
the most recent update gets rid of the older actor from the original and replaces the new actor from E2-3 here.

I believe the argument for this was something like, it shows the Anakin before he turned from the dark side,
but the old actor should be there,
because he turned away from the dark side, to the old actor isn't Darth Vader anymore either, but Anakin once again.

Aliens

I would have nuked it from orbit.

It is the only way to be sure.

Aliens

I would have nuked it from orbit.

Retool the ending of Star Trek: Nemesis to not result in Data's death, and instead form a fitting finale to the saga of the TNG cast.

Here is an idea: Geordi and Data find a way to use the main deflector dish to counter the Scimitar's radiation weapon. The catch: they blow out every EPS conduit on the ship, and overload the warp core. Enterprise-E isn't destroyed - they successfully eject the core - but she is crippled and dead in the water. There is no way to get her home. Instead, the crew get a lift from the Romulans, except for Picard, who remains onboard to greet a Romulan delegation, and Worf, who remains onboard to greet a Klingon delegation.

Six months later, the United Federation of Planets, the Klingon Empire, and the Romulan Star Empire sign the Enterprise Accords onboard the hulk of the Enterprise-E. All of our crew are present, and we learn a little of their paths. Riker and Troi, of course, have a new ship. Picard is involved in the diplomatic process, and may well become an ambassador. Geordi has decided to teach at Starfleet Academy, passing on his skills to the next generation of Starfleet chief engineers (with a thousand Geordi LaForges in the engine rooms of Starfleet's ships, Starfleet's enemies are now officially SCREWED). Worf has been assigned as the Starfleet Attache to the Klingon Fleet. Dr. Crusher has gone back to Starfleet Medical. Data has resigned from Starfleet entirely, to pursue cybernetics research at the Daystrom Institute.

That would have been a fitting end to the TNG saga. Like Star Trek VI, it not only ends with the Federation making peace with the series' number one villain (Klingons for TOS, Romulans for TNG), but it deliberately leaves no room for a sequel with the same crew.

I thought that Seven was quite excellent. Here is my ranking of the TNG movies by quality:
1. Insurrection
2. Generations
3. First Contact
4. Nemesis

Bambi's mum would still be alive and it becomes time man is to be hunted!

Bambi's mum would still be alive and it becomes time man is to be hunted!

I for one welcome our new forest dwelling overlords.

I'd take the few final seconds of Vanilla Sky out. Namely the part, where Tom Cruise opens his eye after plummeting from the top of a skyscraper and hitting the sidewalk head first. Not that I have anything against Mr. Cruise himself; that pathetic attempt at closure just deflated the whole movie. How they managed to miss such an obvious and perfect opportunity for such an awesome open ending is beyond me.

For the same reason, I'd stop A.I. to the point, where the robot-kid ends up at the bottom of the sea talking endlessly to a statue of the Fairy Godmother. After that point, Spielberg pulls some random aliens out of his ass, and the movie becomes just stupid.

For the same reason, I'd stop A.I. to the point, where the robot-kid ends up at the bottom of the sea talking endlessly to a statue of the Fairy Godmother. After that point, Spielberg pulls some random aliens out of his ass, and the movie becomes just stupid.

This. I had no idea why he did that, and still don't. I can only assume he has a thing for aliens.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sP-aKSiPibo

:)

I want that 2 minutes of my life back!

As the title states, if you could go back in time and change/edit one thing about a movie that you otherwise thought was good, what would you change, and why do you think it would need to be changed?

Peter Jerkson's "Lord of the Rings" movies.
I would keep the title, and abolish everything from the opening to the end credits. Why? Why? WHY? YA ASK ME WHY? :headbang:

Basically, if that's "Lord of the Rings", then I am Napoleon.

I'd take the few final seconds of Vanilla Sky out. Namely the part, where Tom Cruise opens his eye after plummeting from the top of a skyscraper and hitting the sidewalk head first. Not that I have anything against Mr. Cruise himself; that pathetic attempt at closure just deflated the whole movie. How they managed to miss such an obvious and perfect opportunity for such an awesome open ending is beyond me.

For the same reason, I'd stop A.I. to the point, where the robot-kid ends up at the bottom of the sea talking endlessly to a statue of the Fairy Godmother. After that point, Spielberg pulls some random aliens out of his ass, and the movie becomes just stupid.

In a similar vein I'd of stopped "Signs" at the exact moment the brat gets grabbed in the basement.

I would make Paul Verhoeven agree to 1) actually read and understand Starship Troopers and 2) to make the movie of it true to what Heinlein actually wrote, before he was allowed anywhere near it. Or better yet, just fire him and give the job to someone who will actually read the book.
To be fair, one could use your quote against pretty much every single sci-fi book adaption Hollywood's ever done.

Slightly off-topic:
I get the Wachowski brothers, tie them up and leave them in a room with Alan Moore for an hour for what they did to 'V for Vendetta'.
Likewise Francis Lawrence for what he did to Hellblazer.
However, I wouldn't tie the Hughes' brothers up and leave to Alan Moore's mercies for an hour because of 'From Hell'.
I'd give him 2 hours alone with them. And afterwards pour bullet ants (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullet_ant) all over them.

And I'd change Terry Gillian's adaption of 'Watchmen' by actually giving him enough bloody money to finally make the damn thing!

For the same reason, I'd stop A.I. to the point, where the robot-kid ends up at the bottom of the sea talking endlessly to a statue of the Fairy Godmother. After that point, Spielberg pulls some random aliens out of his ass, and the movie becomes just stupid.
I view the talking to the statue bit as the ending Kubrick would have done and the caring aliens crapfest as the ending Speilburg would do.
That's the difference between those two.
One is an intellectual who doesn't insults his viewer's intelligences. The other panders to lowest-common denominator and whatever movie execs and pre-release audiences want.

Sounds like a tribute to Betty Boop, supposedly there is a similar subliminal shot in every Betty Boop cartoon.

Boop-oop-a-doop. ;)

I meant naked Jessica Rabbit in other movies. Like Lord Of The Rings. Or King Kong.

Ah. Ya should have made that clearer ala "MOAR NEKID JESSICA RABIT!" :)

To be fair, one could use your quote against pretty much every single sci-fi book adaption Hollywood's ever done.

Heh. Yeah, but Verhoeven actually seems to be rather pround that he didn't read Starship Troopers and wrecked Heinlein's story. :mad:

He should have stuck with the original working title of Bug Hunt at Outpost Nine.

I would change the part near the end of Shaun of the Dead because it never made sense..... they are being attacked by zombies and then suddenly everything is fine. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED THAT THEY FIGURED OUT WHAT TO DO.



that is all.

As the title states, if you could go back in time and change/edit one thing about a movie that you otherwise thought was good, what would you change, and why do you think it would need to be changed?


I would tell Hayden Christiansen not to be so angst-ridden. He would have been excellent, had he been less emotional.

In The Passion of the Christ, Jesus would have been gay.

In Pride and Prejudice, Kiera Knightly would have been naked.

yesplz. see also: Pirates of the Carribean and, well, every movie she's in.


As for me:

How Braveheart should have ended (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EdQzQutzK4E)

Also, in Lord of the Rings, Two Towers, I would have removed ridiculous sub-plots, like "zOMG Aragorn fell into the river LOL!" or "Treebeard is able to immediately call all the ents to war, despite just having had a lengthy council deciding not to go, and they are able to arrive at his side to fight within a minute." I would have had Eomer at the Hornburg the whole battle, and have Gandalf return with reinforcements under Erkenbrand.

In The Passion of the Christ, Jesus would have been gay.
naw. I'd have made him a masochist so when they started whipping him he would've got a stiffy.

In The Passion of the Christ, Jesus would have been gay.

Passion of the Christ, where Mary gets an abortion.

Passion of the Christ, where Mary gets an abortion.

Nope, she'll be stoned for adultery. I mean how does a virgin get pregnant? Her hubby was just pussy wipped. (Thats kind of retarded seeing as he never got any to begin with)

As the title states, if you could go back in time and change/edit one thing about a movie that you otherwise thought was good, what would you change, and why do you think it would need to be changed?

Mine would be the getting rid of the cheesy '80s pop music in the movie, "The Last Dragon". I really liked the movie the first time I saw it in the '80s (so much so that I recently bought the DVD), but when I watched it again, I found myself muting the TV during when the music was playing.

"Who's da mastah?"

I would take the movie Black Mask and replace the Drum 'n Base soundtrack with something more uptempo and rhythmic.

Or I would take the movie Godfather II and change the fact that it has a sequel.

Or, I would take the movie Vampire in Brooklyn and replace Eddie Murphy with Barry White so that it could include the line "awww Baby. I wanna suck yo' bloooood."

Or I would take the movie Bones (staring Snoop Dogg) and have the heroine take the damned dress off before setting it on fire.

Or I would take the movie Closer (I think) and put Natalie Portman's full frontal scene back in.

That's all I can think of for now.

In The Passion of the Christ, Jesus would have been an unstoppable killer cyborg.

holy shit i nearly shit my pants at that one good one LOL LOL oh and add to it that when they crucify him he goes super nova and wipes out everyone nearby

holy shit i nearly shit my pants at that one good one LOL LOL oh and add to it that when they crucify him he goes super nova and wipes out everyone nearby

Fuck super nova, Hyper Nova this bitch.

In Elizabeth, at the glorious final scene when Queen Elizabeth is first walking amongst the court wearing her Virgin Queen get-up. The elegant Mozart is playing, the last shot is almost nigh. One of the prostrated courtiers grabs her dress and kisses it. I WANTED HER TO FALL DOWN ON HER FACE.

I mean that's really what happens when someone is wearing a long, strong dress and walks by and you just sorta snatch it.

Or OK, how about in Independence Day. What a shitty movie, right? But it could have been redeemed by everyone dying. I wanted the aliens to win. To be bloody competent for once. I'm sick of ridiculously advanced aliens who apparently, all failed PRESCHOOL. Signs, War of the Worlds, what happened to the at least mildly-intelligent invader aliens?

OHNOES WATER!

OHNOES, DISEASE!

OHNOES, MACINTOSH!

Any day now someone is going to come out with a movie about a vicious interstellar alien race that wipes Earth military forces off the map within a few seconds and invades... but is cleverly done in because they forgot there was SUNLIGHT, which causes their heads to literally explode.

Anyway, another thing I wanted was in Titanic, you know how the ship sinks? Yeah, I want it not to sink. It should get saved at the last minute by a band of charming misfits. That way Leonardo's character can be the only one who dies. Also, instead of just freezing to death, he should freeze, drown, and then get sucked into the ship's propellers.


In The Passion of the Christ, Jesus would have been an unstoppable killer cyborg.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=aKJonM0fM54

In Pride and Prejudice, Kiera Knightly would have been naked.

Interesting idea. Instead of colourising old movies, they could declothise them.

Which reminds me - It's a Wonderful Life. James Stewart, enraged by the realisation that everyone in town owes it all to him, the ungrateful bastards, snaps and kills everyone.

"Merry Christmas bank!" [fires rocket launcher]
etc...

I would change Brokeback Mountain so that, instead of the boring crapfest it was, would be completely nonexistent. I'd say I want that two-and-a-half hours back, but I only made it to 45 minutes before I decided that gnawing my own leg off would be a more better use of my time. More...more better.

I would make Bruce Willis die in the Die Hard movies. I would feel soooooo good about it.

I woulda replace Forrest Whitaker with me so I woulda won the Oscar in The Last King of Scotland. Yes.