NationStates Jolt Archive

i was writing this in one of the many threads about that stupid menace to society game you all are playing ... eheh ...


"there was a joke about a group of people in a park:
there's zoophile, a pedophile, a necrophile, a pyro and a masochist sitting and drinking and suddenly the zoophile says:
"why don't we take a cat?! we could f*ck it"
and the pedophile says:
"yeah, why don't we take a cat, but it must be a kitten, and then we f*ck it"
and the necrophile:
"yeah, we take a cat, a kitten, we kill it and we f*ck it"
so the pyro jumps up and says:
"yeah, we take a cat, a kitten, we burn it till it dies and then we f*ck it!!"
so everyone turns to the masochist and he goes:
"maeou ... frrrrrr""

Haha, awesome.

Slavery never happened? :confused:

that kind of petred out to the end. perhaps it needs a vocal delivery.

Slavery never happened? :confused:

wot?

Buahaha. :p

*hold up sign*

6.5 :)

Don't get it. ><

Don't get it. ><

Masochists get turned on by being sexually abused or something like that. So he meows like a cat... Get it?

i was writing this in one of the many threads about that stupid menace to society game you all are playing ... eheh ...


"there was a joke about a group of people in a park:
there's zoophile, a pedophile, a necrophile, a pyro and a masochist sitting and drinking and suddenly the zoophile says:
"why don't we take a cat?! we could f*ck it"
and the pedophile says:
"yeah, why don't we take a cat, but it must be a kitten, and then we f*ck it"
and the necrophile:
"yeah, we take a cat, a kitten, we kill it and we f*ck it"
so the pyro jumps up and says:
"yeah, we take a cat, a kitten, we burn it till it dies and then we f*ck it!!"
so everyone turns to the masochist and he goes:
"maeou ... frrrrrr""

actually, i want you to get fucked in the arse. edit: violently

actually, i want you to get fucked in the arse.

Errr... perhaps a better response would have been "that joke is fairly sick, and I don't like it at all."?

Just a thought.

Errr... perhaps a better response would have been "that joke is fairly sick, and I don't like it at all."?

Just a thought.

no

ooh I heard some jokes today thus I share:

1)
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve.
So, how is everything going?" inquired God.

It's all so beautiful" she replied. "Everything is wonderful, but I have
one problem. It's these breasts you've given me. The middle one pushes
the other two out and I'm constantly knocking them with my arms."

She went on to tell Him that since many other parts of her body came in
pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc .....she felt that having only
two breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically balanced," as she
put it.

"That is a fair point, but it was my first shot at this, you know. I
gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of
those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away."
And He reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the
bushes.

Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.

"Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?"

Just fantastic," she replied, "But for one oversight on your part. You
see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has
her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone."

God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How
could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately
create a man from a part of you. Now let's see ...........where did I
put that useless t*t?"

Now doesn't THAT make more sense than that stuff about the rib?

2)
Three little ducks go into a Bar

"Say, what's your name?" the bartender asked the first duck.

"Huey," was the reply.

"How's your day been, Huey?"

"Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a duck want?" said Huey.

"Oh. That's nice," said the bartender. He turned to the second duck, "Hi, and what's your name?"

"Dewey," came the answer from duck number two.

"So how's your day been, Dewey! ?" he asked.

"Great. Lovely day. I've had a ball too. Been in and out of puddles all day myself. What else could a duck want?"

The bartender turned to the third duck and said, "So, you must be Louie?"

"No," she said, batting her eyelashes.

"My name is Puddles."


actually, i want you to get fucked in the arse.

:eek: you must be an evil clone like in that movie with the giant runner beans

what have you done with the real Revolution?!

ooh I heard some jokes today thus I share:

1)
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve.
So, how is everything going?" inquired God.

It's all so beautiful" she replied. "Everything is wonderful, but I have
one problem. It's these breasts you've given me. The middle one pushes
the other two out and I'm constantly knocking them with my arms."

She went on to tell Him that since many other parts of her body came in
pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc .....she felt that having only
two breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically balanced," as she
put it.

"That is a fair point, but it was my first shot at this, you know. I
gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of
those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away."
And He reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the
bushes.

Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.

"Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?"

Just fantastic," she replied, "But for one oversight on your part. You
see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has
her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone."

God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How
could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately
create a man from a part of you. Now let's see ...........where did I
put that useless t*t?"

Now doesn't THAT make more sense than that stuff about the rib?

2)
Three little ducks go into a Bar

"Say, what's your name?" the bartender asked the first duck.

"Huey," was the reply.

"How's your day been, Huey?"

"Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a duck want?" said Huey.

"Oh. That's nice," said the bartender. He turned to the second duck, "Hi, and what's your name?"

"Dewey," came the answer from duck number two.

"So how's your day been, Dewey! ?" he asked.

"Great. Lovely day. I've had a ball too. Been in and out of puddles all day myself. What else could a duck want?"

The bartender turned to the third duck and said, "So, you must be Louie?"

"No," she said, batting her eyelashes.

"My name is Puddles."




:eek: you must be an evil clone like in that movie with the giant runner beans

what have you done with the real Revolution?!

ummmm, i fucked him in the arse. don't worry, it's not irreparable but you might have to wait a while for your turn.

(IR is drunk... Hehe)

(IR is drunk... Hehe)

Slander!!!! :p

Slander!!!! :p

But still truth. :)

that kind of petred out to the end. perhaps it needs a vocal delivery.

It needs a delivery like Drew Carey gave on "The Aristocrats".

*nods*

But still truth. :)

not until i've finished this bottle of wine. official drunkeness doesn't happen till i get home and fiished what i stole. so that's 4 pints of beer and 4 double whiskys plus some rum, some vodka, some pernod, some famouse grouse. ah good times. and the bottle of wine of course, need a pep talk, only halfway though.

It needs a delivery like Drew Carey gave on "The Aristocrats".

*nods*

the aristrocrats scare the hell out of me. the minds that some people have on them.... :eek::eek:

not until i've finished this bottle of wine. official drunkeness doesn't happen till i get home and fiished what i stole. so that's 4 pints of beer and 4 double whiskys plus some rum, some vodka, some pernod, some famouse grouse. ah good times.

Keep posting. :) :p

Keep posting. :) :p

well that's what i already drank. half a bottle to go or else i'm not me anymore.

the aristrocrats scare the hell out of me. the minds that some people have on them.... :eek::eek:

Yeah, i suppose that merits mention of "Farce of The Penguins".
:eek:

"Oh GOD he loved her ... but he didn't really 'love' her ... he just kinda ..."

well that's what i already drank. half a bottle to go or else i'm not me anymore.

*giggle*

Yeah, i suppose that merits mention of "Farce of The Penguins".
:eek:

"Oh GOD he loved her ... but he didn't really 'love' her ... he just kinda ..."

The colours.. oh my god the colours..

Yeah, i suppose that merits mention of "Farce of The Penguins".
:eek:

"Oh GOD he loved her ... but he didn't really 'love' her ... he just kinda ..."

i consider myself blessed that i do not know the substance of that story.... but penguins on the whole are rather cute.

i consider myself blessed that i do not know the substance of that story.... but penguins on the whole are rather cute.

That could very well hinge on if Bob Saget is describing them or not.

That could very well hinge on if Bob Saget is describing them or not.

Bob Saget is a myth!

Bob Saget is a myth!

Maybe .. but a somewhat convincing one, at that.
I need to do more Bob Saget affirmations.
*rubs stones*

Maybe .. but a somewhat convincing one, at that.
I need to do more Bob Saget affirmations.
*rubs stones*

then this would beg the question: "Who is Bob Saget". surely not a human?? woud you claim his title brevious? who might you fight? where are the banana-flavoured-4-month-old-marshmallow-candy-esque sweeties? i smell conspiracie!!!!

then this would beg the question: "Who is Bob Saget". surely not a human?? woud you claim his title brevious? who might you fight?Other than myself, apparently the line of penguins trying to get into Melissa. o.9
where are the banana-flavoured-4-month-old-marshmallow-candy-esque sweeties? i smell conspiracie!!!!
Good question. It would seem they're within noseshot.

holy crapsicles! they're taking over the world!! is this retiribution for me mispelling conspiracy?? bummeroony!!

actually, i want you to get fucked in the arse. edit: violently

Here's a coupon for a free chill the fuck out. It's a joke.

Here's a coupon for a free chill the fuck out. It's a joke.

would you like some ice cream?

Masochists get turned on by being sexually abused or something like that. So he meows like a cat... Get it?
Ohhhh!... Heh. I had misread it as misogynist. I wonder what that was about...

Oh, here's one:

An Irishman, Scotsman, Englishman, Priest, Rabbi, Horse, Mexican, Chinaman, Imam, and a womanizer all walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"

would you like some ice cream?
..
holy crapsicles!

This reminds me of Cheech & Chong

Come on, ice cream!

actually, i want you to get fucked in the arse. edit: violently

Warned. Kthnxbai.