## Peacock sexually assaults car
[NS]I BEFRIEND CHESTNUTS
05-10-2007, 01:27
Visitors to a Somerset stately home have been warned to keep away from a peacock - after he seriously damaged a luxury car he mistook for a mate.
The amorous bird caused £4,000 worth of damage to an employee's Lexus in the grounds of Sir Benjamin Slade's country manor, Maunsel House, near Bridgwater.
Warning signs have now been put up in the car park.
"It started when he fell in love with a Lexus, which was in a very distinct peacock blue," said Sir Benjamin.
"He attacked the panels so hard that the car needs a total respray. The insurers are not very happy about it.
"They've had claims for all sorts of things like lions biting people, but never have they heard of a peacock sexually attacking a car before," he added.
Linky (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/somerset/7028723.stm)
Best not wear blue around that thing. Still, good thing it wasn't an ostrich. :D
AB Again
05-10-2007, 01:30
I guess that it is a gay peacock then, given that peahens are a dull brown colour.
The blessed Chris
05-10-2007, 01:32
Drunk Commies stil lives!:)
Port Arcana
05-10-2007, 01:33
Wow, that's a really confused peacock. How did it fall in love with a car? Usually when something like that happens its with stuffed animals or objects that are around the same size as itself. O_o
[NS]I BEFRIEND CHESTNUTS
05-10-2007, 01:33
Drunk Commies stil lives!:)
Huh? :confused:
Wow, that's a really confused peacock. How did it fall in love with a car? Usually when something like that happens its with stuffed animals or objects that are around the same size as itself. O_o
Saw once on TV a story of a swan falling in love with a swan-shaped pedal boat... though that was little more understandable than this.
Wow, that's a really confused peacock. How did it fall in love with a car? Usually when something like that happens its with stuffed animals or objects that are around the same size as itself. O_o
Like midgets. I successfully refrained from saying toddlers. To the politically correct, congratulate me. To those who were thinking the same, chastise me.
AB Again
05-10-2007, 01:41
I BEFRIEND CHESTNUTS;13106072']Huh? :confused:
Drunk Commies, or any of his other identities, was famous for posting obscure and strange news stories, prior to getting himself banned for over graphic language (not related to the news stories).
[NS]I BEFRIEND CHESTNUTS
05-10-2007, 01:43
Drunk Commies, or any of his other identities, was famous for posting obscure and strange news stories, prior to getting himself banned for over graphic language (not related to the news stories).
Ooooh.... well maybe I can fill in for him (The news stories, not the graphic language, teehee). Anyway I need bed now, woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. Byeeeeee.
Non Aligned States
05-10-2007, 01:48
I guess that it is a gay peacock then, given that peahens are a dull brown colour.
Maybe not a mate, but a rival? I can't say I know peacock mating habits, but attacking potential mates seem a bit counter productive in the animal kingdom. :p
New Manvir
05-10-2007, 02:02
What kind of dumbass animal mistakes a CAR for a BIRD!!!
the Peacock...nature's dumbass?
Well, it is a peacock.
That should be enough of an explanation.
If the Lexus gives birth, it'll definately be a hybrid.
Never though I'd hear about a peacock raping a car, if that's really even possible...
People go on about the gays and the immigrants being the downfall of society, but it's the peacocks you really have to worry about.
Barringtonia
05-10-2007, 03:01
Longish story...
We had a man-made pond in our garden and a friend of my parents performed a commando raid of sorts by scaling the wall and placing a stone frog on the far side of the pond for their wedding anniversary - no real reason.
Anyway, my dumb dog, which would screw anything, spotted the stone frog across the pond and his heart must have skipped a beat. For days he would howl in despair for his unattainable amour, forlornly looking over the still, deep waters, waters that reflected his still, deep love.
Eventually, I became a little sick of both the wailing as well as my family essentially laughing at my dog, and by inference at me as well.
So I crossed the pond and picked up the damn frog and brought it over to where my dog sat shivering with excitement at finally gaining the chance to meet his lost love and requiting his carnal desire.
Alas, a stone frog is hard to fuck as my dog soon found out and, like any good man, if you can't fuck it you chuck it. He quickly lost interest. So I placed the frog back on the other side of the pond and my dog went back to his fuck-pillow, poor abused pillow that it was.
Moral of the story - animals, like humans, are weird.
The Brevious
05-10-2007, 08:07
If the Lexus gives birth, it'll definately be a hybrid.
Ah, you graceful, graceful bastard.
My spleen doth writhe in wist by your rapier wit.
Creepy Lurker
05-10-2007, 11:44
If the Lexus gives birth, it'll definately be a hybrid.
Arrrgh.. The pun! It burns!
I wonder if cars can consent......
Edwinasia
05-10-2007, 11:59
That bird is a carophile.
So?
Some HUMANS do but sex.
Pacificville
05-10-2007, 12:11
I would pay money to see that.
Epic Fusion
05-10-2007, 12:20
I would pay money to see that.
Not sure if it would be worth it. The idea of it is funny, but you'll just see a peacock pecking a car...
Rambhutan
05-10-2007, 13:14
More likely the peacock was attacking its own reflection as a perceived rival.