NationStates Jolt Archive

Have you ever been to a restaurant, ordered the hot wings, and been utterly dissapointed by the amazingly mild taste that does nothing to stimulate the taste buds in your mouth?

So have I.

I for one, find it very annoying that I have to guess as to how spicy my wings are going to be when I order them. I mean, sometimes they say hot, and they are hot. Sometimes they say hot, and they are mild. Sometimes I order hot, and it's too hot. (Even I have my limits)

My point being, mild needs to be mild, hot should be hot, and blazing hot needs to be blazing hot! Enough is enough I say!

Scoville units.

Thread over.

i'm pretty much always disappointed by what passes as "hot and spicy" in restaurants. the only exceptions i can think of are the thai red curry i had at Weatherspoons (of all places) the other day, and the 'American Hot' and 'Sloppy Guisseppe' pizzas at Pizza Express (and them only because you can request chilli oil to pep them up.

Scoville units.

Thread over.

maybe, if anyone actually used them when writing menus.

Ask for the particular kind of pepper you want.

"Do you have scotch bonnets, or are you JUST using tabasco?"

"Hot" and "mild" are relative terms, as such when ordering "Hot" Wings, your millage may very. What is "Hot" to you may not be "hot" to me, it may be "mild". If I tone down a particularly "hot" dish from my Cajun background, it may STILL be too hot to some.

Scoville units is the actual scale used to measure the "heat" of chiles... Your best bet would be to ask the particular type of sauce that is used to make the wings Hot, which would give you a better idea of what you're going to end up with as a final product. If they are using a normal Hot Sauce, it's obviously not going to be on par with if they are using some vicious jabenaro based sauce.

Jabeneros are typically the hottest, followed by Scotch Bonnetts, Cayennes, Jalepenos, Pepperocinis, Bannana Peppers, etc.

I myself am always disappointed with the varying degrees of "buffalo." Either eye-sweat-water-please or meh.

If I can still taste my tea after 2 bites of your restaurant's version of "flamin' hot", then I will never eat at your establishment again.

I also carry around a small bottle of my own hot sauce just in case.

Taste buds also differ. People have died eating my 'medium' heat chili. :P

Well good, they deserve it. :D

Taste buds also differ. People have died eating my 'medium' heat chili. :p

If I can still taste my tea after 2 bites of your restaurant's version of "flamin' hot", then I will never eat at your establishment again.

I also carry around a small bottle of my own hot sauce just in case.

i used to do that too. trouble is the sauce i used was to flavoursome itself and tended to drown out the flavours of the dish i ordered,too tangy it was. can't remember what it was called now. it was made with scotch bonnet peppers though.

Taste buds also differ. People have died eating my 'medium' heat chili. :p
Your comment reminds me of an appropriate joke:

Texas Chili Contest (http://www.jokecrazy.com/modules.php?name=AvantGo&file=print&sid=1322)

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cooking contest. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted." Here are the scorecards from the advent:

(Frank Judge #3)

Chili # 1 Eddie's Maniac Monster Chili...
Judge # 1 --! A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.

Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

Judge # 3 -- (Frank) What the hell is this stuff?! You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put out the flames. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy!


Chili # 2 Austin's Afterburner Chili...

Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.

Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor; needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.


Chili # 3 Ronny's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili...

Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans.

Judge # 2 -- A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.

Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now.
Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting pie-eyed from all of the beer...

Chili # 4 Dave's Black Magic...

Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish, or other mild foods; not much of a chili.

Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-lb. woman is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?

Chili # 5 Lisa's Legal Lip Remover...

Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne ! peppers make a strong statement.

Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead, and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.


Chili # 6 Pam's Very Vegetarian Variety...

Judge # 1 -- Thin, yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.

Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, a! nd garlic. Superb.

Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulphuric flames. I pooped on myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair! No one seems inclined to stand behind me anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.

Chili # 7 Carla's Screaming Sensation Chili...

Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

Judge # 2 -- Ho-hum; tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress, as he is cursing uncontrollably.

Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me.
I've decided to stop breathing; it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

Chili # 8 Karen's Toenail Curling Chili...

Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold, but spicy enough to declare its existence.

Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced ! chili. Neither mild, nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 farted, passed out, fell over, and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself.
Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor fella, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?"

Judge # 3 -- Oh God.........

[snip]

Sounds like my kind of chilli cookoff.

http://www.gamestar.de/community/gspinboard/images/smilies/atomrofl.gif
Exactly!! :D

...snip...

http://www.gamestar.de/community/gspinboard/images/smilies/atomrofl.gif

Very few restaurants make a decent hot, spicy dish, especially wings. I guess I should research scoville units, maybe that will help me on my search for something hot.

Have you ever been to a restaurant, ordered the hot wings, and been utterly dissapointed by the amazingly mild taste that does nothing to stimulate the taste buds in your mouth?


As others have stated, the only truly reliable solution is to bring your own bottle.

http://www.originaljuan.com/_images/products/large/sku1456.jpg

What really annoys me, however, isn't lack of heat (as this problem is resolved, as above) but rather the lack of proper taste. Too many people confuse "hot" or "spicy" with "vinegar" (damn you Tabasco (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tabasco_sauce)). Kind of how Starbucks confuses "espresso" with "battery acid."

As far as a world standard goes, it pretty much already exists: anything less than this (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Habanero) need not apply.