NationStates Jolt Archive

Kryo's finest moment of jackassory (http://bluescreen.bitmove.tv/bitmove/cgi/receive.jsp?uid=610D2D6C15560F330B8672BACFE88CCA&format=wmv)

We all have moments that we can immortalise on the web and share with people we've never met.

What embarrassing moments have you immortalised in some form for mass distribution?





* Yes... guess which is me.

I don't know if it's on YouTube, but I think my invasion of Iraq in the name of national security is up there.

:p

For whatever reason, Jolt's text is bigger than usual. I don't like it, I don't like it one bit.

I think that my friends on the high-school yearbook staff immortalized my third place finish in the senior drag contest by putting a half-page shot of me in a tube top, jeans, and thong in the edition that was printed. I never picked up my copy, but my old friends always seem to have their's on hand every time we get together...

Back in college I was trying to learn crew positions when this jackass of a wannabe producer decided to do a standup comedy show. Now, I'm a bit of a wise ass and crack a lot of jokes, but I am by no measure a stand up comic. I told this guy that several times when he insisted that I was going to be on the show. "No dude, I'm not a stand up. I don't have a routine, I have never prepared one, being funny in a room isn't the same as being funny in front of a room." "No, you'll be great." "No, I won't. Book someone else."

So I'm sitting there running the audio board when in the middle of the fucking show he calls me on like it was planned. The show is running and I don't have time to point out that I fucking said no. So I get up and try and fake it, which of course sucks out loud, like really fucking bad, because-as I told the dude repeatedly, I'm not a fucking stand up comic.

Yeah, that got broadcast on fucking cable. I don't have a link to it because I like to live with the assumption that it died and faded away.

The worst part is that that guy probably is a producer now somewhere. Cause producers can be fuckwads without it effecting their careers...

Kryo's finest moment of jackassory (http://bluescreen.bitmove.tv/bitmove/cgi/receive.jsp?uid=610D2D6C15560F330B8672BACFE88CCA&format=wmv)

We all have moments that we can immortalise on the web and share with people we've never met.

What embarrassing moments have you immortalised in some form for mass distribution?





* Yes... guess which is me.


http://img461.imageshack.us/img461/3042/owldrunk4np.jpg

I have never made an ass out of myself!

I once dressed as a woman to gatecrash a female friends hen night, only to walk into the wrong pub(yep yep she done it on porpouse) and have all these burly blokes stare at me. I did though have the bollox to stay for a few drinks, and apart from all the touching up, I had a fun night.

This is great. I know NSG has more... we just got to get people to reveal the truth.

I have never made an ass out of myself!

Bullshit.

Bullshit.
No, it's true. You see, "to make an ass of oneself" implies that being an ass isn't one's base state.

No, it's true. You see, "to make an ass of oneself" implies that being an ass isn't one's base state.

Ah, I understand.

Y'know, the whole 'invading Poland' thing has really haunted me, sometimes...

Well I didn't do it to myself...but I made it worse...In Highschool Jr year my friends put a Viagra pill into my drink at lunch...I walked around like that the rest of the day...and when the principal stopped me and asked what the hell I was doing I said I was preparing for the Jousting tournament next week

Were you female at the time?

Well I didn't do it to myself...but I made it worse...In Highschool Jr year my friends put a Viagra pill into my drink at lunch...I walked around like that the rest of the day...and when the principal stopped me and asked what the hell I was doing I said I was preparing for the Jousting tournament next week

Wow! Hell yeah I've made an ass of myself. More than once; more than ten times. Anyone remember Undbagarten. Yep, that was me. Lets just say I've grown up since then. :cool:

Well I didn't do it to myself...but I made it worse...In Highschool Jr year my friends put a Viagra pill into my drink at lunch...I walked around like that the rest of the day...and when the principal stopped me and asked what the hell I was doing I said I was preparing for the Jousting tournament next week

Your principal commented on your erection?

That seems a little creepy

My Principal was a she...;)

I would'a hit it

That doesn't make it any less creepy

My Principal was a she...;)

Was she hot? ;)

Or was she the personification of bare-ass ugly with a mole the size of a dinnerplate on her chin. (God that image still haunts me. I would rather die than go back to high school)

I would'a hit it

My Principal was a she...;)

That doesn't make it any less creepy

I would'a hit it

Cool. As long as you were almost an adult and wore a condom, son. I trust you. :D

That doesn't make it any less creepy

Makes it more socially acceptable. Female Principal Having Sex with a Student sounds less creepy than Homosexual Pervert Principal Rapes Student.

Well actually she was getting me out of the hallway for obvious reasons...and asked what the hell I was doing...

Cool. As long as you were almost an adult and wore a condom, son. I trust you. :D

Maybe I should go back to the school since I'm past being legal now lol

Well actually she was getting me out of the hallway for obvious reasons...and asked what the hell I was doing...

Shoulda made your move man! :p

Makes it more socially acceptable. Female Principal Having Sex with a Student sounds less creepy than Homosexual Pervert Principal Rapes Student.

Controversial :p Not that they had sex

Maybe I should go back to the school since I'm past being legal now lol

That would be a bit creepy, unless your talking about a teacher or something and not a student.

Controversial :p

Just proves the double standard.

That would be a bit creepy, unless your talking about a teacher or something and not a student.

I was referring to the principal...

This was yesterday: In my speech class, after one finishes their speech we are supposed to (while they are still being recorded), list to them the good points of their speech, such as: Good eye contact with the audiance, excellent transitions, good use or storytelling, ect....and then the stuff where they could improve next time: Better posture, better organization....ect...Then the teacher gives his appearance, and depending on how you look, he will comment on that you look like your rolled out of bed or that you really dressed up nicely for your speech.

Well anyway, there was this REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY hot girl giving her speech, and she had dressed up really nice for her speech. (For our speeches we either have to dress up accordingly to our speech (aka, a prison jumpsuit if you're doing your speech on your prison time)...or dress up formal to semi-formally)

So she had this awesome figure with these great curves and legs, and wore these tight black pants that really showed them off and it went up into this tight, a bit open, white blouse. So when she was done, and she was standing there....everyone was giving her the positive feedback on her speech..and I raised my hand to be called. She called on me and I said, in a very Ron Burgandy way, "Dont take this in a weird way, but you look gooooood." The whole class burst out lauhing and she almost died...and her video was still recording. I was thinking, well..the teacher would have said this if I didn't...just in a...different way. Everyone was like "Atlantian Islands, don't go after it until after class!"...but of course I got the "Dude, Atlantian Islands, if you didn't say something I would have!".

My teacher couldn't stop laughing. Ahh, I love my class.

* Yes... guess which is me.

Youre the one in the back on the far right. :p

I was referring to the principal...

Go for it man! Whoo, whoo, whoo. :p (Though she might not remember you.)

Just proves the double standard.

Depends what way you spin it.

Go for it man! Whoo, whoo, whoo. :p (Though she might not remember you.)

I doubt she forgot who I was...I was sent to her office for detention almost every day...my football jersey is in the Hallway right outside the office main door so she sees my last name every time she leaves the office..but anyways it wasn't actually that creepy...she wasn't hitting on me...:( lol...she was getting me out of the hallway

Depends what way you spin it.

I suppose. I live down in the hillbilly zone of the USA, so the female principal having sex with student would be the more acceptable one. I don't think that applies everywhere though.

I doubt she forgot who I was...I was sent to her office for detention almost every day...my football jersey is in the Hallway right outside the office main door so she sees my last name every time she leaves the office

Yet another reason to go for it. Maybe you'll have some fun. :fluffle:

Yet another reason to go for it. Maybe you'll have some fun. :fluffle:

Well i do leave for Basic training in less than a week so I should fill my fluffle quota before then..

Well its almost 2:00 here. Gotta go. I'll be on tomorrow sometime. Unless my boss is being a bitch. But I'm hopeful.

Well i do leave for Basic training in less than a week so I should fill my fluffle quota before then..

DO IT! Is all I have to say.

Now I really do have to go. (Not supposed to be using the internet for recreation on the job)

My teacher couldn't stop laughing. Ahh, I love my class.

the first speech I had to give for one class, the instructor was adamant one one point. The introduction had to grab the audiences attention.

He stated that he didn't want the boring "Hi, my name is _____ and I'm here to talk to you about..."

He wanted an introduction that would grip the audience.

remember the saying... "Remember... YOU ASKED FOR IT."

So after some students gave their speeches... it was my turn.

I walk calmly and slowly to the front of the class with the course textbook. I calmly placed that textbook on the table, straightened it and flicked some imaginary dust off of the cover. Calmly looked at the class, and all was calm and quiet...

Too Quiet...

I gave a LOUD scream, slamed the textbook into my head and threw it against one of the classroom walls and started my speech with...

"Now that I have your complete attention..."

...

Got an A for that speech.

He never again, asked for an attention gripping intro for the rest of the year...

and my speech review from him was, for some strange reason... illegible due to his inexplictable shakey handwriting... :D

but he did make it a point to attend every speaking assignment I had... even if it was in another class.

Hahaha, that's awesome dude!

He told us the same thing about using an attention getting. Our first speech (the one I had just told you about) was a cultural diversity speech....so naturally I did mine on Switzerland. I started off speaking in Swiss-German...not even a hello in English.

If you've ever heard Swiss-German spoken you'd know it's probably the most attention getting language in the world...it's so fucking weird.

Ah, here's a clip of me saying something in Swiss. (Not part of my speech but Swiss-German nonetheless)
http://media.putfile.com/schweizer-deutsch

Hahaha, that's awesome dude!

He told us the same thing about using an attention getting. Our first speech (the one I had just told you about) was a cultural diversity speech....so naturally I did mine on Switzerland. I started off speaking in Swiss-German...not even a hello in English.

If you've ever heard Swiss-German spoken you'd know it's probably the most attention getting language in the world...it's so fucking weird.

Ah, here's a clip of me saying something in Swiss. (Not part of my speech but Swiss-German nonetheless)
http://media.putfile.com/schweizer-deutsch

that sounded kewl!

I remember one speech he attended. it was supposed to be an instructional speech, so I did mine on Impromptu speaking. he sat in the back and I heard him tell the instructor as I was walking up to the podium "you're gonna love this... it's gonna be good."

my intro was another speech in which I fuck it up. as I stammered along, the instructor (for that class, not him) says to me "don't worry, keep going." :p and right after that, I switched modes from Speech to Conversational and went right into my true subject. He leans over and tells the instructor "After all this time, I should've realized that was his intro."

the review started with...

"Needs to be more prepared."

funny thing tho, She scratched that out... I wonder why?

Bullshit.
As Chris Crocker stated..
No, it's true. You see, "to make an ass of oneself" implies that being an ass isn't one's base state.

What? NO! I've been repressing those!

What? NO! I've been repressing those!
Catharsis is good for the soul.
Or something, I just want to hear some horror stories about other people's jackassery, my own has started to bore me terribly.

Okay got another one...attempted to walk across frozen creek..(about chest deep naked)...did not succeed..does this satisfy you?

Catharsis is good for the soul.
Or something, I just want to hear some horror stories about other people's jackassery, my own has started to bore me terribly.

Hmmm...

I...uh...can't recall them at will. >_> I seriously have repressed them.

Hmmm...

I...uh...can't recall them at will. >_> I seriously have repressed them.

Lies!...focus young grass hopper

Lies!...focus young grass hopper

SRSLY! I mean, sometimes they pop up randomly and I go "Damn I'm such an idiot!" but of course I'm in the middle of class or something so...


Does that count as one?

SRSLY! I mean, sometimes they pop up randomly and I go "Damn I'm such an idiot!" but of course I'm in the middle of class or something so...


Does that count as one?

Ah you show some progress...

Kryo's finest moment of jackassory (http://bluescreen.bitmove.tv/bitmove/cgi/receive.jsp?uid=610D2D6C15560F330B8672BACFE88CCA&format=wmv)

We all have moments that we can immortalise on the web and share with people we've never met.

What embarrassing moments have you immortalised in some form for mass distribution?





* Yes... guess which is me.

:eek::confused:

That was...interesting.(?)

that sounded kewl!

I remember one speech he attended. it was supposed to be an instructional speech, so I did mine on Impromptu speaking. he sat in the back and I heard him tell the instructor as I was walking up to the podium "you're gonna love this... it's gonna be good."

my intro was another speech in which I fuck it up. as I stammered along, the instructor (for that class, not him) says to me "don't worry, keep going." :p and right after that, I switched modes from Speech to Conversational and went right into my true subject. He leans over and tells the instructor "After all this time, I should've realized that was his intro."

the review started with...

"Needs to be more prepared."

funny thing tho, She scratched that out... I wonder why?
Excellent tactic! Takes alot of self esteem to pull something off like that infront of the class, good work dude.

I can't wait to give my next speech. It's a speech we do on a important concept to convince people to beleive our point of view and take action on it. I'm either gonna do one on getting support for Ron Paul or immigration...not sure.

Excellent tactic! Takes alot of self esteem to pull something off like that infront of the class, good work dude.

I can't wait to give my next speech. It's a speech we do on a important concept to convince people to beleive our point of view and take action on it. I'm either gonna do one on getting support for Ron Paul or immigration...not sure.

Good luck.


Don't forget the attention grabbing intro. ;) :D