NationStates Jolt Archive

A sedan drew up to our happy home today and Two women, a teenaged girl and a young boy(who looked bored nearly comatose) of about twelve gets out of the car dressed in their finest(Fundy Alert! Probably Jehova's Witnesses). As they headed up the front walk and reached our door, my son Little Goofball rounds the corner of the house dragging along the end of a garden hose.

Can you see where this is headed? :D

That's right. With one crowing laugh, he lights into them with the garden hose. Oh, you should've heard the screaming! As I race around the corner, I see my son doing his best to saturate them as much as possible on the run before the twelve year old catches him and gets the hose from his hand. Managing to only chuckle despite my beet-red face and desire to cackle outloud, I manage to say, "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" and I offer them a towel. One of the women looked lie she wanted to hurl my son into a bonfire and she looked at me with accusing eyes as if I had a role in this incident. The younger of the two says, "It's alright, sir. God bless you and your son. And the four of them(the boy grinning like an actual child) climb back into the car after fussing over the car seats a bit, turn arround and head back down the driveway and out of sight.

THen I and my son laughed for several hours. :)

The Lil' Guy is destined for Great Things. :D

If I give proper credit where it is due, can I borrow this tactic?

Eit: Damn! Kat beat me to the first reply (although I do agree with her.)

Haha, that's awesome. You should go reward your son. Buy him something nice.

You need to start videotaping this stuff LG. You'd make a fortune off some of the stories you have.

How old is the dear child? And can I borrow (or perhaps rent) him some Saturday soon (that being the day most likely to contain proscelytizers around here)?

Anyway, good one!!!

I had the first reply, this forum has awful time warp.

It reminds me of the Simpsons episode where Flanders broke out the Emergency Baptism Kit.

TD approves of Little Goofball.

He's got the time my house invited Mormons in to play WiiSports beat hands down. And he's what, 3?

That is AWESOME.

Unless little LG does this to random people, I suspect LG has been target training the tyke.

Unless little LG does this to random people, I suspect LG has been target training the tyke.

You say that like it is a bad thing.

A good father would've given them the hose to spray the kid back. It's never too early to start teaching people consequences.

Just to be different...

You have to admire kid (who got sprayed). Few people react well to getting soaked while in their best clothes. If only the girl was able to control herself as well.

A sedan drew up to our happy home today and Two women, a teenaged girl and a young boy(who looked bored nearly comatose) of about twelve gets out of the car dressed in their finest(Fundy Alert! Probably Jehova's Witnesses). As they headed up the front walk and reached our door, my son Little Goofball rounds the corner of the house dragging along the end of a garden hose.

Can you see where this is headed? :D

That's right. With one crowing laugh, he lights into them with the garden hose. Oh, you should've heard the screaming! As I race around the corner, I see my son doing his best to saturate them as much as possible on the run before the twelve year old catches him and gets the hose from his hand. Managing to only chuckle despite my beet-red face and desire to cackle outloud, I manage to say, "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" and I offer them a towel. One of the women looked lie she wanted to hurl my son into a bonfire and she looked at me with accusing eyes as if I had a role in this incident. The younger of the two says, "It's alright, sir. God bless you and your son. And the four of them(the boy grinning like an actual child) climb back into the car after fussing over the car seats a bit, turn arround and head back down the driveway and out of sight.

THen I and my son laughed for several hours. :)

...
As if? :D

lolz that's awesome...how old is Little Goofball?

You say that like it is a bad thing.

Hee! looks like the Catholic and the Satanist agree on one thing, anyhow. ;)

You say that like it is a bad thing.

Oh no, definitely not. But if he doesn't train little LG well, what would happen if he soaked a cop? Or even worse, an IRS auditor?

But I'm definitely taking that hose idea. There's a fence, so people don't get in unless I open the gate, and suddenly revealing a hose to annoying people is a good way to get them out of the area.

"Meet my little friend" :p

A sedan drew up to our happy home today and Two women, a teenaged girl and a young boy(who looked bored nearly comatose) of about twelve gets out of the car dressed in their finest(Fundy Alert! Probably Jehova's Witnesses). As they headed up the front walk and reached our door, my son Little Goofball rounds the corner of the house dragging along the end of a garden hose.

Can you see where this is headed? :D

That's right. With one crowing laugh, he lights into them with the garden hose. Oh, you should've heard the screaming! As I race around the corner, I see my son doing his best to saturate them as much as possible on the run before the twelve year old catches him and gets the hose from his hand. Managing to only chuckle despite my beet-red face and desire to cackle outloud, I manage to say, "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" and I offer them a towel. One of the women looked lie she wanted to hurl my son into a bonfire and she looked at me with accusing eyes as if I had a role in this incident. The younger of the two says, "It's alright, sir. God bless you and your son. And the four of them(the boy grinning like an actual child) climb back into the car after fussing over the car seats a bit, turn arround and head back down the driveway and out of sight.

THen I and my son laughed for several hours. :)

That kid has great goofball sense.

That kid has great goofball sense.

Goofball-fu? Clown-fu?

And then the world ended.

What? when?

*looks around*

You mean NSG is eternal?

Hee! looks like the Catholic and the Satanist agree on one thing, anyhow. ;)

And then the world ended.

What? when?

*looks around*

You mean NSG is eternal?

In the beginning, there was nothingness. And then, there was NSG.

And NSG said, "let there be threads"

And there were threads.

NSG saw this, and was pleased.

In the beginning, there was nothingness. And then, there was NSG.

And NSG said, "let there be threads"

And there were threads.

NSG saw this, and was pleased.

And the threads were woven into a handbasket. And we all know what happens with handbaskets. :D

And the threads were woven into a handbasket. And we all know what happens with handbaskets. :D

And NSG said. "Let the handbaskets be filled with eggs, for lo, I find them to delight the senses scrambled and fried."

And NSG said. "Let the handbaskets be filled with eggs, for lo, I find them to delight the senses scrambled and fried."

Then Kat said, "Let there be crispy pig strips, for they are crunchy and good."
And they were.

Ahh good stuff LG, I can see great things for Little GB. :)

A sedan drew up to our happy home today and Two women, a teenaged girl and a young boy(who looked bored nearly comatose) of about twelve gets out of the car dressed in their finest(Fundy Alert! Probably Jehova's Witnesses). As they headed up the front walk and reached our door, my son Little Goofball rounds the corner of the house dragging along the end of a garden hose.

Can you see where this is headed? :D

That's right. With one crowing laugh, he lights into them with the garden hose. Oh, you should've heard the screaming! As I race around the corner, I see my son doing his best to saturate them as much as possible on the run before the twelve year old catches him and gets the hose from his hand. Managing to only chuckle despite my beet-red face and desire to cackle outloud, I manage to say, "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" and I offer them a towel. One of the women looked lie she wanted to hurl my son into a bonfire and she looked at me with accusing eyes as if I had a role in this incident. The younger of the two says, "It's alright, sir. God bless you and your son. And the four of them(the boy grinning like an actual child) climb back into the car after fussing over the car seats a bit, turn arround and head back down the driveway and out of sight.

THen I and my son laughed for several hours. :)

You need these to cover the angles your son can't get: http://www.scatmat.com/Products/Scarecrow/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdYc86AA8M0

You need these to cover the angles your son can't get: http://www.scatmat.com/Products/Scarecrow/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdYc86AA8M0

Yay! :D

I sense much potential for such a device. *begins plotting*


To the others: Little Goofball is a very precocious 3 and a half and I've already seen him tackle a full-grown man to the ground. The kid has a natural gift for identifying and attacking weak spots like the back of the knees. :)

A good father would've given them the hose to spray the kid back. It's never too early to start teaching people consequences.

Actually, a good father would've videotapoed the incident and sent it to AFV. ;)

Goofball-fu? Clown-fu?

Everybody was clown-fu fighting!
Those priests were fast as lightning
In fact it was a little bit frightening
But they preached with expert timing

Here we see the next stage of human evolution... I need to find some way to steal mini goofball's genetics... >D

Goofball-fu? Clown-fu?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bksiiivwTLA

:D

THen I and my son laughed for several hours. :)

At the risk of being accused of being a troll,I'll offer my opinion anyway.

While I hate religion peddlers as much as the next person I find your sons act APPALLING.....Even more appalling is your ultimate reaction to his misconduct.(laughing about it)

In light of your screenname however I fear my dismay will fall on deaf ears.

Enjoy your future which is surely to be filled with trips to juvenile court and interactions with law enforcement when his actions become more violent.

And people wonder why I advocate licensing for parents.This is a prime example.


To finish so we're clear

Soaking someone with a garden hose that did nothing more than enter your yard is neither cute or precocious....and anyone who thinks it is I truly feel sad for.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bksiiivwTLA

:D

I was thinking of this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqzUPzrZ7i0) actually. :p

WARNING: when this was originally broadcast, one old man with a weak heart actually died laughing (seriously). You have been warned.

EDIT: the really funny bit isn't until 4-5 minutes in.

At the risk of being accused of being a troll,I'll offer my opinion anyway.

While I hate religion peddlers as much as the next person I find your sons act APPALLING.....Even more appalling is your ultimate reaction to his misconduct.(laughing about it)

In light of your screenname however I fear my dismay will fall on deaf ears.

Enjoy your future which is surely to be filled with trips to juvenile court and interactions with law enforcement when his actions become more violent.

And people wonder why I advocate licensing for parents.This is a prime example.


To finish so we're clear

Soaking someone with a garden hose that did nothing more than enter your yard is neither cute or precocious....and anyone who thinks it is I truly feel sad for.

Who do you think turned on the hose? :D

At the risk of being accused of being a troll,I'll offer my opinion anyway.

While I hate religion peddlers as much as the next person I find your sons act APPALLING.....Even more appalling is your ultimate reaction to his misconduct.(laughing about it)

In light of your screenname however I fear my dismay will fall on deaf ears.

Enjoy your future which is surely to be filled with trips to juvenile court and interactions with law enforcement when his actions become more violent.

And people wonder why I advocate licensing for parents.This is a prime example.


To finish so we're clear

Soaking someone with a garden hose that did nothing more than enter your yard is neither cute or precocious....and anyone who thinks it is I truly feel sad for.I'm sure alot of people would turn a hose on door to door witnesses if they thought they could get away with it.

I can only hope that when I have kids, they're as awesome as Little Goofball.

Who do you think turned on the hose? :D

Proud of yourself I see. You only further my argument that stupid people shouldn't breed.

I imagine one day Child Protective Services will get notified about your apparent lack of skill at raising your kid and I'm sure they'll find a nice home for him to live where I'm sure they'll teach him how to act as if he's civilized.

Then again maybe not and your a fantastic parent who just showed a striking lack of judgement this one time.

Next time LG. have him play in the mud and then give out bear hugs.

Too bad, That might've been the most popular YOUTUBE vid ever.

Enjoy your future which is surely to be filled with trips to juvenile court and interactions with law enforcement when his actions become more violent.
.

I believe that LG has a run in with the law every night when the wife comes home. Although I don't think he finds the handcuffs to be punishment.

Somehow I wouldn't be surprised if LG next admits he told the kid to hose the four people dressed in their Sunday best. He's training his young apprentice to take over when he laughs his way into his grave grey and old. :)

At the risk of being accused of being a troll,I'll offer my opinion anyway.

While I hate religion peddlers as much as the next person I find your sons act APPALLING.....Even more appalling is your ultimate reaction to his misconduct.(laughing about it)

In light of your screenname however I fear my dismay will fall on deaf ears.

Enjoy your future which is surely to be filled with trips to juvenile court and when his actions become more violent.

And people wonder why I advocate licensing for parents.This is a prime example.


To finish so we're clear

Soaking someone with a garden hose that did nothing more than enter your yard is neither cute or precocious....and anyone who thinks it is I truly feel sad for.

First off, as LG said in this thread, his son is 3 1/2. Second off, any "interactions with law enforcement" will probably be his son interacting with his wife (as stated in other threads, LG's wife is a cop). Lastly, a 3 1/2 year old soaking people with a fire hose is hilarious, especially when those people weren't invited. Hell, it's even funnier when the people ARE invited (I went to a friend's sons birthday party once, and one of my other friends and I planned a SuperSoaker ambush. My friend ended up getting us back in spades, though, and we all laughed about it later).

To finish so we're clear

GET A SENSE OF HUMOR. :D

Proud of yourself I see. You only further my argument that stupid people shouldn't breed.

I imagine one day Child Protective Services will get notified about your apparent lack of skill at raising your kid and I'm sure they'll find a nice home for him to live where I'm sure they'll teach him how to act as if he's civilized.

Then again maybe not and your a fantastic parent who just showed a striking lack of judgement this one time.

Once my offspring have taken over and Chaos Reigns Supreme, you will probably want to learn how to fake a sense of humor so you don't get pied to death. :)

I believe that LG has a run in with the law every night when the wife comes home. Although I don't think he finds the handcuffs to be punishment.

Her searches are quite thorough. :)

Her searches are quite thorough. :)

especially when she misuses her baton? :p

At the risk of being accused of being a troll,I'll offer my opinion anyway.

While I hate religion peddlers as much as the next person I find your sons act APPALLING.....Even more appalling is your ultimate reaction to his misconduct.(laughing about it)

In light of your screenname however I fear my dismay will fall on deaf ears.

Enjoy your future which is surely to be filled with trips to juvenile court and interactions with law enforcement when his actions become more violent.

And people wonder why I advocate licensing for parents.This is a prime example.


To finish so we're clear

Soaking someone with a garden hose that did nothing more than enter your yard is neither cute or precocious....and anyone who thinks it is I truly feel sad for.

1)Who, precisely, did it harm? No one.
2) Were they invited onto his property to peddle their particular flavor of religion?
3) If the tyke had thrown rocks or bottles, I'd agree. A soaking with a hose???? Obviously you've never known the joy of a water balloon fight or of dousing your fellow partners in crime when washing a car.
4) Relax. Being that uptight can't be good for your blood pressure.

Somehow I wouldn't be surprised if LG next admits he told the kid to hose the four people dressed in their Sunday best. He's training his young apprentice to take over when he laughs his way into his grave grey and old. :)

Hmph! Well, I never...!

Me? Sweet innocent lovable me? Would I have seen them coming from the back yard where we were playing and switched on the hose while telling my son to go out front and soak total strangers... then helped him drag the heavy hose around the house and stayed hidden behind the corner until the screaming started? What kind of parent do you take me for?!?

<.<

>.>

:D

1)Who, precisely, did it harm? No one.
2) Were they invited onto his property to peddle their particular flavor of religion?
3) If the tyke had thrown rocks or bottles, I'd agree. A soaking with a hose???? Obviously you've never known the joy of a water balloon fight or of dousing your fellow partners in crime when washing a car.
4) Relax. Being that uptight can't be good for your blood pressure.

http://www.boomspeed.com/looonatic/Chicken.gif

:D

Hmph! Well, I never...!

Me? Sweet innocent lovable me? Would I have seen them coming from the back yard where we were playing and switched on the hose while telling my son to go out front and soak total strangers... then helped him drag the heavy hose around the house and stayed hidden behind the corner until the screaming started? What kind of parent do you take me for?!?

<.<

>.>

:Ddoh

Should've titled this post "If I did it" :D

*sighs*

It was self-defense. He was merely protecting himself from religious dogma as only a three year old can. *nod*

It was self-defense. He was merely protecting himself from religious dogma as only a three year old can. *nod*

... or a rescue mission. didn't you say one looked like a disgruntled teen? your son probably made his being dragged along totally 'worth it'. :p

... or a rescue mission. didn't you say one looked like a disgruntled teen? your son probably made his being dragged along totally 'worth it'. :p

From the look on his face, his day improved noticably. :)

n/m no point in arguing with the terminally juvenile....

Pity. You almost had me convinced.

:p

Did you ever get the feeling some folks are of the

GET OFF MY LAWN!!!

temperament?

I await the day when the twins are old enough to join in on the goofballing.

I await the day when the twins are old enough to join in on the goofballing.

They already plot against me when they think I'm not listening. :p

*sighs*

So you come to NSG?



I mean really. You're trying to apply your standards to a guy who's handle is Lunatic Goofballs. That should have been your first clue.

They already plot against me when they think I'm not listening. :p

phsaw... that's because you're a PARENT. the natrual enemy of children.

Hmph! Well, I never...!

Me? Sweet innocent lovable me? Would I have seen them coming from the back yard where we were playing and switched on the hose while telling my son to go out front and soak total strangers... then helped him drag the heavy hose around the house and stayed hidden behind the corner until the screaming started? What kind of parent do you take me for?!?

<.<

>.>

:D
The kind of parent with a child's sense of humour. :)

A sedan drew up to our happy home today and Two women, a teenaged girl and a young boy(who looked bored nearly comatose) of about twelve gets out of the car dressed in their finest(Fundy Alert! Probably Jehova's Witnesses). As they headed up the front walk and reached our door, my son Little Goofball rounds the corner of the house dragging along the end of a garden hose.

Can you see where this is headed? :D

That's right. With one crowing laugh, he lights into them with the garden hose. Oh, you should've heard the screaming! As I race around the corner, I see my son doing his best to saturate them as much as possible on the run before the twelve year old catches him and gets the hose from his hand. Managing to only chuckle despite my beet-red face and desire to cackle outloud, I manage to say, "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" and I offer them a towel. One of the women looked lie she wanted to hurl my son into a bonfire and she looked at me with accusing eyes as if I had a role in this incident. The younger of the two says, "It's alright, sir. God bless you and your son. And the four of them(the boy grinning like an actual child) climb back into the car after fussing over the car seats a bit, turn arround and head back down the driveway and out of sight.

THen I and my son laughed for several hours. :)

They took it better than I would expect. Try seeing how far you have to go before they finally snap and become Satanists or something.
Example: They don't seem to mind getting wet with water. Maybe if you and your son were "painting the house" when they arrived...

sniip.

I see a very silly person in you just begging to be let out.

They already plot against me when they think I'm not listening. :p

It's hard, who to root for. The twins and your comical demise involving a clay cannon, 20 kilos of mud, a flower spurt gun, trick umbrella and fall apart car, or your triumph by accuracy of thrown mud and Goofball mind tricks.

does this mean the child has surpassed the father....


at only 3 and 1/2?




SOMEONE GET THE PIXIES!!! (see Fairly odd parents)