NationStates Jolt Archive

I can't say it finally struck home, as none of my kids is in the military, but it did strike pretty darn close to home.

A good friend of ours had a son enlisted in the Army. One day the young man finds out he's a father, the next day the family finds out that their son and husband is dead.

I've had a number of close friends die on active duty and it was always a sad thing to see the widow and children at the services. This is completely different, though. The father has always supported his son in his desire to have a military career, but he doesn't have any military experience, himself. We just don't have the same experiences to draw on or a common language to express our grief. That was the easy part of dealing with death among a bunch of aviators -- we all realized how easy and quick it could be.

But parents are different. They don't have a vocabulary of slang and the memorials of a few dead friends behind them. It's the first time that they've had to go through this torture. And they can't hide behind a facade of toughness.

It's hard to find the right words to comfort him. Probably there are
no right words.

I'm still stunned at the irony. I'm sure my friend isn't feeling much of anything.

And of course, I've re-considered my position on the fighting in Iraq. I'm still marginally in favor of staying until the Iraqis can protect themselves. Another few days like this and I might not be...I don't know. The last picture the Dad has of his son is one where he's sitting on the floor with an Iraqi family -- friends of his and people he felt compassion for.

So tonight, I'll do what I've always considered proper for this kind of sad news -- I'll drink a toast to the soldier and to friends past and say a prayer for their families.

Thanks for indulging me.

Terrible. I'm afraid that having no experience with the military, nor knowing anyone with military experience (apart from WWII/Malay Emergency grandparents, but that doesn't often get talked about) it is a situation I can't really imagine. My only hope is that sooner rather than later we can put an end to tragedies like these.

May the young soldier rest in peace, having served his country faithfully. :(

So sad for the loss but that's the folly of war. :(

I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.

George McGovern

Sorry to hear of your loss. Thoughts and prayers to the family and you.

If only more politicians had sons and daughters in the military, maybe they'd be a little more hesitant about sending everybody else's to die in war. :(

So tonight, I'll do what I've always considered proper for this kind of sad news -- I'll drink a toast to the soldier and to friends past and say a prayer for their families.

Thanks for indulging me.
Give a Toast for me.

and feel free to let him (the father) know that someone in Hawaii thanks his son for all that he did and offers prayers and sympathy for his and his family's loss.

:(

I can't say it finally struck home, as none of my kids is in the military, but it did strike pretty darn close to home.

A good friend of ours had a son enlisted in the Army. One day the young man finds out he's a father, the next day the family finds out that their son and husband is dead.

I've had a number of close friends die on active duty and it was always a sad thing to see the widow and children at the services. This is completely different, though. The father has always supported his son in his desire to have a military career, but he doesn't have any military experience, himself. We just don't have the same experiences to draw on or a common language to express our grief. That was the easy part of dealing with death among a bunch of aviators -- we all realized how easy and quick it could be.

But parents are different. They don't have a vocabulary of slang and the memorials of a few dead friends behind them. It's the first time that they've had to go through this torture. And they can't hide behind a facade of toughness.

It's hard to find the right words to comfort him. Probably there are
no right words.

I'm still stunned at the irony. I'm sure my friend isn't feeling much of anything.

And of course, I've re-considered my position on the fighting in Iraq. I'm still marginally in favor of staying until the Iraqis can protect themselves. Another few days like this and I might not be...I don't know. The last picture the Dad has of his son is one where he's sitting on the floor with an Iraqi family -- friends of his and people he felt compassion for.

So tonight, I'll do what I've always considered proper for this kind of sad news -- I'll drink a toast to the soldier and to friends past and say a prayer for their families.

Thanks for indulging me.

remember that their grief lasts far longer than to the funeral. it would be a kindness if you and your wife kept an eye on them for a few months, brought them some nutritious meals and, if you are close enough, did some household chores that might be too much for them to deal with for now.

just being willing to talk about their son a month from now when everyone else forgets and moves on is something that you can do for your friends that will help them very much.

Tell the Father that I thank his son for what he did for our country. *salutes*

I can't say it finally struck home, as none of my kids is in the military, but it did strike pretty darn close to home...
Say my condolences.

Is it this news story (http://www.cbs46.com/news/14192262/detail.html)?

Sorry for your loss.

There isn't much you can say to really console your friend. He just lost his son. The best you can do is to help him and support him and his family through this tragedy. Still, a toast can't hurt.

Say my condolences.

Is it this news story (http://www.cbs46.com/news/14192262/detail.html)?

Doesn't look like it.

For one thing, that's in Kansas, and for another, Myrmi said that his friend, the father, had never served, while the father of the soldier in the article had.

If only more politicians had sons and daughters in the military, maybe they'd be a little more hesitant about sending everybody else's to die in war. :(

Wouldn't matter if they did if Johnny is the son of Senator ____ he won't be going over seas..if he does he'll be doing some administrative job..if you look at the war right now even..most of those enlisting come from the lower class/inner cities than the mainstream middle class...

I give my condolences to you and your friend's family for your loss.

Wouldn't matter if they did if Johnny is the son of Senator ____ he won't be going over seas..if he does he'll be doing some administrative job..if you look at the war right now even..most of those enlisting come from the lower class/inner cities than the mainstream middle class...

There oughtta be a law... (grumbles about how politicians don't have to pay much of a price for being hasty in going to war)

There oughtta be a law... (grumbles about how politicians don't have to pay much of a price for being hasty in going to war)

Require every politician who voted "aye" for the war to fight on the front lines...


armed with only a butter knife.