NationStates Jolt Archive

Um yea...I know that.

Seriously, the Devil's Bible has been returned to Prague. It was taken 359 years ago.

http://www.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2007-09-21-czech-devils-bible_N.htm?csp=34

Doesn't everyone that is cool have one?

Yes, I know that there is a religious book out there for the devil.

Edit: It figures that the Swede's stole it in the first place.

awww i thought it was going to be some kind of creepy satanic book from the middle ages full of kinky sex and magical incantations.

sigh

I thought that you meant the Satanic Bible, not the one portrayed in the link. However it is interesting - I wonder what it talks about?

I thought that you meant the Satanic Bible, not the one portrayed in the link. However it is interesting - I wonder what it talks about?

"It contains "a sum of the Benedictine order's knowledge" of the time, including the Old and New Testament, "The War of the Jews" by the first-century historian Josephus Flavius, a list of saints, or a guideline how to determine the date of Easter, Uhlir said."

The manuscript was likely written by one monk from the Benedictine monastery in Podlazice located some 100 kilometers (65 miles) east of Prague sometime at the beginning of the 13th century, said Zdenek Uhlir, a specialist on medieval manuscripts at the National Library.

It contains "a sum of the Benedictine order's knowledge" of the time, including the Old and New Testament, "The War of the Jews" by the first-century historian Josephus Flavius, a list of saints, or a guideline how to determine the date of Easter, Uhlir said.

It's worrying when an expert can't even get Flavius Josephus's name the right way round.

Seriously, the Devil's Bible has been returned to Prague. It was taken 359 years ago.

http://www.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2007-09-21-czech-devils-bible_N.htm?csp=34

Oh, you mean that text...

Only 640 pages over 10 years? Jeez, what a slacker. That's only a page a week. I have to write approximately three times that much per week at university.

Only 640 pages over 10 years? Jeez, what a slacker. That's only a page a week. I have to write approximately three times that much per week at university.3 pages per week isn't that much either. Especially at university.

3 pages per week isn't that much either. Especially at university.

I think that was the joke. :p

3 pages per week isn't that much either. Especially at university.It was a bigger workload than what my friend at Cambridge had. He had to write a 1,000 word essay every week in his first year. Whereas I had to write six 2,000 word essays every term (10 weeks). In my second year it jumped to a total of 18,000 words over 6 essays.

And I had to reference my work! Bastard theologians and their claim to divine inspiration.

That's 36,000 words of complete bullshit that no one will ever read again. Fun.

Edit: It figures that the Swede's stole it in the first place.

Well, since Fass isn't here to say it, i will.

How regional. :rolleyes:

It's worrying when an expert can't even get Flavius Josephus's name the right way round.

Regional syntax interpretation :p

Only 640 pages over 10 years? Jeez, what a slacker. That's only a page a week. I have to write approximately three times that much per week at university.

With a feather?

I don't have a bible yet. I feel deprived.

*begins contemplating the Goofball's Bible*

I don't have a bible yet. I feel deprived.

*begins contemplating the Goofball's Bible*

It was only a matter of time...

In 2, 000 years, when the world has undergone World Mud War 1, with nuclear mud pies, you'll regret having written 'Thou shalt throw mud' as your first commandment.

The Great Taco Peace Initiative won't help much.

I wonder if the Devil's Bible is going to be translated so we can read it.

It should be important to note that the book also contains a history of the kingdom of Czechoslovakia, and is an important cultural artifact for the two countries of the Czech Republic and Slovakia. The Swedes looted the book in a war with Czechoslovakia, and the Czech Republic aknowledges the fact that the likelyhood of Sweden giving the book back to them permanently is nil. The Swedes have also said, although not neccesarily in the words I use now, that they would rather swallow glass than return the book. I would not be entirely surprised nor opposed if some Czech nationalist stole the book for his country in the name of patriotism.

Czech Republic acknowledges the fact that the likelihood of Sweden giving the book back to them permanently is nil.

The Swedes have also said, although not necessarily in the words I use now, that they would rather swallow glass than return the book.

I'd love to have been at this conference.

Czech representative: I hereby, and on behalf of all Czechoslovakia, acknowledge that the likelihood of Sweden returning the book is, if I may avoid exaggeration, nil.
Swedish representative: Indeed, and in commending my good fellow for his wise words, I would also like to reiterate that the official Swedish position is that we would rather eat glass than return this book.

Hear, hear and bravos all round from the entire UN.

It was only a matter of time...

In 2, 000 years, when the world has undergone World Mud War 1, with nuclear mud pies, you'll regret having written 'Thou shalt throw mud' as your first commandment.

The Great Taco Peace Initiative won't help much.

Here's something for my bible:

"There are three kinds of people in the world: Those that make people laugh, those that laugh, and those that are laughed at. Everyone shall belong to at least one group. My Chosen People will belong to all three."

:)

Here's something for my bible:

"There are three kinds of people in the world: Those that make people laugh, those that laugh, and those that are laughed at. Everyone shall belong to at least one group. My Chosen People will belong to all three."

:)

Dammit! First my parents aren't Jewish and now my lack of humor keeps me out of these clubs.

Will I never be a chosen person!

*Adopts 'arms stretched to heaven while on knees' soldier pose from 'WHY?' poster series*

http://www.abestweb.com/smilies/haha.gifDammit! First my parents aren't Jewish and now my lack of humor keeps me out of these clubs.

Will I never be a chosen person!

*Adopts 'arms stretched to heaven while on knees' soldier pose from 'WHY?' poster series*

one may well ligitimately question that any bible is other then the will of some immaginary 'devil'.

to brand any nontangable awairness a devil, implies a greater knowledge of such things, then anything human is ever likely to possess.

how DOES one define a "devil" anyway?
a powerful nontangable awairness that knows of our existence and wishes us harm perhapse?

if such a thing existed, how likely is it that we would?

perhapse a nontangable anarchist?

how is this our concern, when the bennificence of hierarchy, any hierarchy, is questionable at best.

no, i'm sorry, while i have what i feel to be personal experieces of nontangable encounters great and small, i do not find an inhierent nature of harmfullness and wishing to cause suffering on the part of nontangable awairnessess, great or small, at all, in any way, shape or manor, convincing.

vested human coerciveness is more then adiquite to account for as much of that as i have ever encountered. and i HAVE more then once found myself stairing into the rather unpleasant vissage of that as well.

=^^=
.../\...

I wonder if the Devil's Bible is going to be translated so we can read it.

The Tanach, the New Testament and Josephus's Jewish War have all been translated already; I doubt textual variation would be of interest to anyone except students of Medieval Czech history. Lists of saints and instructions on how to calculate the date of Easter are unlikely to vary much from the 'official' version, and again are only really of interest to Czech historians.

I'm curious as to what exactly makes this the devil's bible. I mean... it seems to just have random regular bible stuff in there. I was expecting much more... devilishness?

Here's something for my bible:

"There are three kinds of people in the world: Those that make people laugh, those that laugh, and those that are laughed at. Everyone shall belong to at least one group. My Chosen People will belong to all three."

:)Aren't the first and last groups kinda of the same?

Aren't the first and last groups kinda of the same?

Getting laughed at is at your own expense. It's the dark side in others. Laughing at other people is the dark side in yourself. Making others laugh with you is the path of the light.

Aren't the first and last groups kinda of the same?

Not necessarily. Often those in the third group are tools of the first group to derive laughter from the second group. *nod*

I'm curious as to what exactly makes this the devil's bible. I mean... Why don't you just read the text linked in the OP?

The Tanach, the New Testament and Josephus's Jewish War have all been translated already; I doubt textual variation would be of interest to anyone except students of Medieval Czech history. Lists of saints and instructions on how to calculate the date of Easter are unlikely to vary much from the 'official' version, and again are only really of interest to Czech historians.Well, if it was written prior to all the Protestant versions (new translations) of the Bible and maybe even prior to the Massoretic Tanakh it might give some xtra clues...

I didn't know someone who didn't exist could have a huge book full of things that don't exist. I must be stupid.

awww i thought it was going to be some kind of creepy satanic book from the middle ages full of kinky sex and magical incantations.

sigh

My girlfriend is a Satanist and she is into kinky sex. Whatever she wants, she basically dominates me and she is pretty enough for me to let her.

Why don't you just read the text linked in the OP?

I did. The content of the supposed "Devil's Bible" seems to be just random bible stuff that isn't exclusive content that one would expect from the holy bible of Satan.

My girlfriend is a Satanist and she is into kinky sex. Whatever she wants, she basically dominates me and she is pretty enough for me to let her.

I assume that if she was ugly she'd be a terrible Satanist, not having the ability to dominate someone. :p

Well, if it was written prior to all the Protestant versions (new translations) of the Bible and maybe even prior to the Massoretic Tanakh it might give some xtra clues...

Unless they had an alternative text from the Septuagint or the Vulgate I can't see the point to be honest. We already know a lot about how Christianity had interpreted the Tanach over the years and I'm sure that any interesting variations would have been publicised by now.

I didn't know someone who didn't exist could have a huge book full of things that don't exist.

:fluffle:
Storyteller: Hello, children. Hello. Here is this morning's story. Are you ready? Then we'll begin.
[He opens the book and begins reading]
Storyteller: "One day, Ricky the magic pixie went to visit Daisy Bumble in her tumble-down cottage. He found her in the bedroom. Roughly, he grabbed her heavy shoulders, pulling her down onto the bed and ripping off her..."
[He is understandably shocked. He flips past two pages of the book, then resumes reading]
Storyteller: "Old Nick the sea captain was a rough, tough, jolly sort of fellow. He loved the life of the sea, and he loved to hang out down by the pier, where the men dressed as ladies..."
[He is again shocked. He flips past two more pages, slower than before. He is nudged by a stick from offstage, and resumes reading]
Storyteller: "Rumpletweezer ran the dinky-tinky shop in the foot of the magic oak tree by the wobbly dum-dum bush in the shade of the magic glade down in Dingly Dell. Here he sold contraceptives and..."
[Shocked, he begins flipping through the book without bothering to read it]
Storyteller: Discipline... naked... with a melon?

My girlfriend is a Satanist and she is into kinky sex. Whatever she wants, she basically dominates me and she is pretty enough for me to let her.

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y9/MAR-Peeves/applause_crowd.gif