NationStates Jolt Archive

Fourthly, He'll change into a bull and fuck your girlfriend. :)

Edit: Yay! This is my thread now! *dances*

Well, first-off if Zeus does exist then you gain a lot from believing in him, and if he doesn't, whattaya lose except for a few meager sacrifices?

Next, there is NO proof he doesn't exist! How can anyone say he doesn't exist if there's no proof?

Thirdly, Zeus is the God of Justice and if you don't believe in him, what exactly is your moral guideline?

Footnote: this goes for all the other Greek Gods as well.
2nd footnote: I'm not an Atheist.

My god can beat up your god.

No proof he doesn't exist? That's good enough for me and my family.

Well, first-off if Zeus does exist then you gain a lot from believing in him, and if he doesn't, whattaya lose except for a few meager sacrifices?

Next, there is NO proof he doesn't exist! How can anyone say he doesn't exist if there's no proof?

Thirdly, Zeus is the God of Justice and if you don't believe in him, what exactly is your moral guideline?

Footnote: this goes for all the other Greek Gods as well.
2nd footnote: I'm not an Atheist.

true, except Zeus has a habit of visiting his female worshippers at night.

which wouldn't be too bad, except his wife does get jelouse and tends to take it out on the mortal temptress, or their offspring.

at least God took care of his Son. yeah, Jesus was crucified, but God made his death into a gift of life.

then there is the other gods. God protects me from them, Zeuse won't (can't even protect his love interestes from his wife)

Also Zeus (and the other gods) are into beastiality. visiting women as animals? right...

then there is the petty bickering between thoes gods that tend to level cities.

I'm sure glad my God protects me from those children.

Because I've never had a mystical experience involving Zeus.

EDIT: Post 2500. I am a Galaxian Warrior. To be feared.

true, except Zeus has a habit of visiting his female worshippers at night.

which wouldn't be too bad, except his wife does get jelouse and tends to take it out on the mortal temptress, or their offspring.

at least God took care of his Son. yeah, Jesus was crucified, but God made his death into a gift of life.

then there is the other gods. God protects me from them, Zeuse won't (can't even protect his love interestes from his wife)

Also Zeus (and the other gods) are into beastiality. visiting women as animals? right...

then there is the petty bickering between thoes gods that tend to level cities.

I'm sure glad my God protects me from those children.

Well, out of all the females who worshiped him, Zeus may have visited a lot, but it was a small margin compared to how many there were, and your chances of dying by Hera's hand aren't too-bad when compared your chances of dying in a car accident.

Zeus took great care of his son, Herakles! He made into a God when he died!

If your worried about the other gods, I'm sure it won't bother Zeus if you worship them too.

Bickering? If I recall, the Pharaoh's people didn't do so-hot when he got in an argument with a certain "I am who I am."

Well, first-off if Zeus does exist then you gain a lot from believing in him, and if he doesn't, whattaya lose except for a few meager sacrifices?


Zeus didn't really offer much in the way of tangible and intangible benefits for his worship, so there wasn't much for him other than if you didn't, he'd smite you. Maybe if this was an updated Zeus with a proper benefits package.

Zeus didn't really offer much in the way of tangible and intangible benefits for his worship, so there wasn't much for him other than if you didn't, he'd smite you. Maybe if this was an updated Zeus with a proper benefits package.

I don't see why not. Haven't all the world religions updated their God? We've got a religion (Greek Mythology) that's been dead at least 2000 years. What say we make some updates?

Because I've never had a mystical experience involving Zeus.

You haven't had a mystical experience with anything.

You haven't had a mystical experience with anything.

Wrong. I have had more than one. Please refrain from telling me what I have and have not sensed.

Zeus and the gang were like "soap opera gods." In fact, I think they had a soap opera. I think it was called "Zeus and the Gang."

Well, out of all the females who worshiped him, Zeus may have visited a lot, but it was a small margin compared to how many there were, and your chances of dying by Hera's hand aren't too-bad when compared your chances of dying in a car accident. I would really, REALLY wanna see a study done on this. For all you know, Hera probably is driving the car. :p

Zeus took great care of his son, Herakles! He made into a God when he died! and Thesus, Persus, and his other sons?

If your worried about the other gods, I'm sure it won't bother Zeus if you worship them too. they won't mind who I worship... but as I said, mortals are usually caught between the god's bickering. meanwhile God protects me from their petty arguments.

Bickering? If I recall, the Pharaoh's people didn't do so-hot when he got in an argument with a certain "I am who I am." and the Pharaoh's gods really stepped up to the plate there too. God protected his people while Ra's people really had proof of Ra's power.

You haven't had a mystical experience with anything.

Yeah, wow, that's a little presumptuous.

Well, first-off if Zeus does exist then you gain a lot from believing in him, and if he doesn't, whattaya lose except for a few meager sacrifices?

Next, there is NO proof he doesn't exist! How can anyone say he doesn't exist if there's no proof?

Thirdly, Zeus is the God of Justice and if you don't believe in him, what exactly is your moral guideline?

Footnote: this goes for all the other Greek Gods as well.
2nd footnote: I'm not an Atheist.

I refuses to worship Zeus.... All must worship Jupiter or die! INFIDELS!!!!

Man, all of this practical knowledge. I'd hate to think it's going to waste here.

Wrong. I have had more than one. Please refrain from telling me what I have and have not sensed.

Wrong. You have incorrectly interpreted your sense data. You have not had a mystical experience, you have interpreted a non-mystical experience as mystical.

Fuck this board moves fast.

and Thesus, Persus, and his other sons?


Theseus was Poseidon's son.

Perseus would have been killed at birth if it hadn't been for the fact he was Zeus's son.

Wrong. You have incorrectly interpreted your sense data. You have not had a mystical experience, you have interpreted a non-mystical experience as mystical.

Prove it.

Prove it.

The burden of proof does not lie with me.

I refuses to worship Zeus.... All must worship Jupiter or die! INFIDELS!!!!

Actually, all the pagans did was say Zeus=Jupiter. Another reason why polytheism is more logical than monotheism...

Will he teach me how to turn myself in a light summerrain that can fall on the lady of my choosing ?

Actually, all the pagans did was say Zeus=Jupiter. Another reason why polytheism is more logical than monotheism...

I know... That was the point :P

Zeus -> Jupiter
Poseidon -> Neptune
Aphrodite -> Venus
Hermes -> Mercury
Hades -> Pluto
Aries -> Mars
etc. etc. etc. etc.

Wrong. You have incorrectly interpreted your sense data. You have not had a mystical experience, you have interpreted a non-mystical experience as mystical.

How clever of you to assume that. Please provide some sort of back-up for this claim. Since you have absolutely no data to base this on, I assume this will take some sort of rationalist approach.

Go ahead. Please explain to me how I am wrong about my own experiences.

The burden of proof does not lie with me.

Ah, the quick cop-out. The burden of proof lies equally, actually. If HE believes in HIS perception that he had a metaphysical experience - or whatever - HE owes proof to HIMSELF primarily. YOU are disputing HIS experience, so you owe proof as well. HIS "proof" is in his experience, YOUR explanation lies within your opinion but there's no proof there.

So it doesn't surprise me on this message board that the likely answer to this ideology will always be "the burden of proof isn't mine" because, from observation, the place is really filled with pseudo-intellectual cop-outs and wimps. Still, I thought I'd stab at it once.

How clever of you to assume that. Please provide some sort of back-up for this claim. Since you have absolutely no data to base this on, I assume this will take some sort of rationalist approach.

Go ahead. Please explain to me how I am wrong about my own experiences.

Seconded. Also, does Mindset even know what the experience was? If so, great. If not, how is Mindset in a position to critique it on any grounds?

How clever of you to assume that. Please provide some sort of back-up for this claim. Since you have absolutely no data to base this on, I assume this will take some sort of rationalist approach.

Go ahead. Please explain to me how I am wrong about my own experiences.

The supernatural does not exist. Ergo, your supernatural experiences did not happen, or, they happened but were not supernatural.

I don't doubt that you think you've had a mystical experience, and I know that no logic will convince you otherwise, but I am quite sure that you didn't have one.

Fuck this board moves fast.

The NSG forum is practically a chatroom. :)

The supernatural does not exist. Ergo, your supernatural experiences did not happen, or, they happened but were not supernatural.

I don't doubt that you think you've had a mystical experience, and I know that no logic will convince you otherwise, but I am quite sure that you didn't have one.

The supernatural DOES exist. Ergo, his experience DID happen. Fuck I hate these pseudo-intellectual repetitious 20-year olds.

Theseus was Poseidon's son. oops, stand corrected.

Perseus would have been killed at birth if it hadn't been for the fact he was Zeus's son.
yet Hercules was the only one to accend to godhood?

The supernatural DOES exist. Ergo, his experience DID happen. Fuck I hate these pseudo-intellectual repetitious 20-year olds.

:) Prove it.

Suppose I posted a thread in which I claimed to have seen bigfoot and a small, pink dragon walking past my house. Would you refrain from saying I was wrong because you couldn't prove that I hadn't seen them, or would you say I was delusional?

I wouldn't say shit, actually. We live in a world bound by our own experiences, plain and simple. Whether your experience ideally coagulates with mine or not is not for me to judge. Call it bland universalism, but that's how I roll.

Why do I suddenly feel like playing a game of Populous?

How clever of you to assume that. Please provide some sort of back-up for this claim. Since you have absolutely no data to base this on, I assume this will take some sort of rationalist approach.

Go ahead. Please explain to me how I am wrong about my own experiences.
You'll forgive us for asking the same. You are the one claiming that you have had a mystical experience...therefore the burden of proof is upon you.

And I'm not trying to be a smartass here...I'm honestly curious.

:) Prove it.

Why? I can make finite blanket statements to match your assertions and we can do this all day. Or you can duck and weave and I can match you. There's no point in me raising my level if you're not going to do the same.

I would really, REALLY wanna see a study done on this. For all you know, Hera probably is driving the car. :p

A very good reason to worship her.

and Thesus, Persus, and his other sons?

Theseus became a renowned champion of justice, and an inventor of democracy. However, if I recall he's Poseidon's son.

Zeus saw to it that no harm came to Perseus. He married Andromeda and they both lived happily ever after.


they won't mind who I worship... but as I said, mortals are usually caught between the god's bickering. meanwhile God protects me from their petty arguments.

Like the Pharaoh's people....

[/QUOTE]and the Pharaoh's gods really stepped up to the plate there too. God protected his people while Ra's people really had proof of Ra's power.[/QUOTE]

Ra's people? So just because the Big Guy won doesn't mean it's okay. People died, cities got leveled. Zeus usually wins too. Just because one side lost, doesn't mean there wasn't a fight. One side always has to lose.
Plenty of got killed because of that "argument" the Pharaoh had. Did he suffer? Did God kill him? Not until the very end.
Don't be a hypocrite.

Alexander the Great was the son of god too and he conquered most of the known world; Jesus got to be nailed to a lump of wood. I know which god I'd rather have as a father...

Yep, I would too if I bought every simplistic generalization that came my way. Oh wait, I do. I'm Catholic.

:)

Ah, the quick cop-out. The burden of proof lies equally, actually. If HE believes in HIS perception that he had a metaphysical experience - or whatever - HE owes proof to HIMSELF primarily. YOU are disputing HIS experience, so you owe proof as well. HIS "proof" is in his experience, YOUR explanation lies within your opinion but there's no proof there.

So it doesn't surprise me on this message board that the likely answer to this ideology will always be "the burden of proof isn't mine" because, from observation, the place is really filled with pseudo-intellectual cop-outs and wimps. Still, I thought I'd stab at it once.

Suppose I posted a thread in which I claimed to have seen bigfoot and a small, pink dragon walking past my house. Would you refrain from saying I was wrong because you couldn't prove that I hadn't seen them, or would you say I was delusional?

The supernatural does not exist. Ergo, your supernatural experiences did not happen, or, they happened but were not supernatural.

I don't doubt that you think you've had a mystical experience, and I know that no logic will convince you otherwise, but I am quite sure that you didn't have one.

I didn't say I had a supernatural experience. I said I had a mystical one. There's a difference.

Alexander the Great was the son of god too and he conquered most of the known world; Jesus got to be nailed to a lump of wood. I know which god I'd rather have as a father...

oops, stand corrected.


yet Hercules was the only one to accend to godhood?

Perseus got to become a constellation and he didn't get "nailed".

I didn't say I had a supernatural experience. I said I had a mystical one. There's a difference.

Oh? You implied that your mystical experience was religious. Religion is supernatural, in all guises. Please explain if it's otherwise.

Wrong. I have had more than one. Please refrain from telling me what I have and have not sensed.

And you know it wasn't Zeus how, exactly?

Oh, nevermind... forget it... it is so not worth the bother.

Carry on with your regularly scheduled nonsense.

Why just worship Zeus when you can worship the whole freaking pantheon.

Panhellenic for the win!

Perseus got to become a constellation and he didn't get "nailed".

Clearly the moral of the story is "Don't be the son of the Christian God."

*snip*
So it doesn't surprise me on this message board that the likely answer to this ideology will always be "the burden of proof isn't mine" because, from observation, the place is really filled with pseudo-intellectual cop-outs and wimps. Still, I thought I'd stab at it once.

The supernatural DOES exist. Ergo, his experience DID happen. Fuck I hate these pseudo-intellectual repetitious 20-year olds.

Awful big chip on your shoulder there. Might I suggest that looking for too much in the way of genuine intellectual sparring in a thread about "why Zeus is the god for you" might be a bit disingenuous...if not foolish?

Observe some more and look into the more meaty threads. We're still all assholes in our own myriad ways, but I've found, over the last two and a half years, that NSG has taught me quite a bit (the greatest lesson being to never waltz into an argument without some proof or without having read the thread and also it's taught me that my first, most visceral reaction to a topic needs to be seasoned with some time and perspective -- valuable stuff). There's no place I'd rather go to hear the opinions of people from all over the world, or to read about what's going on, be it tragic or trivial.

Why just worship Zeus when you can worship the whole freaking pantheon.

Panhellenic for the win!

I'm arguing in favor of it.

You'll forgive us for asking the same. You are the one claiming that you have had a mystical experience...therefore the burden of proof is upon you.

And I'm not trying to be a smartass here...I'm honestly curious.

Actually, I claimed that I never had a mystical experience involving Zeus. I can't prove this negative, so you can choose to disbelieve that vlaim if you want.

Then The Mindset claimed I had never had any mystical experiences. (S)He has the burden of proof for that claim.

But that's also a bit of a cop-out, so I'll explain myself. First of all, I do not think it would be possible to prove to someone else that my experience was mystical. The closest I can come to independent verification of such an experience is to say that the descriptions I have read concerning mystical (as opposed to numinous) experiences appear to describe what I experienced.

We can debate whether or not it was all in my head. Trust me when I say that it eventually degrades into the 'how do we know anything we sense is true?' argument. I can talk about my experiences if you want, but I think the nature of the subject matter outs it outside the realm of objective debate.

I would sooner follow grey-eyed Athena than Zeus, by the way.

Awful big chip on your shoulder there. Might I suggest that looking for too much in the way of genuine intellectual sparring in a thread about "why Zeus is the god for you" might be a bit disingenuous...if not foolish?

Observe some more and look into the more meaty threads. We're still all assholes in our own myriad ways, but I've found, over the last two and a half years, that NSG has taught me quite a bit (the greatest lesson being to never waltz into an argument without some proof or without having read the thread and also it's taught me that my first, most visceral reaction to a topic needs to be seasoned with some time and perspective -- valuable stuff). There's no place I'd rather go to hear the opinions of people from all over the world, or to read about what's going on, be it tragic or trivial.

Indeed. It's an experience everyone should go through, I think. Very valuable lessons are learned here.

Gift-of-god: Oh, well, fair enough then. I'll not push the matter further.

yet Hercules was the only one to accend to godhood?

It's not like he was condemned to eternal torment or anything. I'm sure he ended up on the Elysian Islands.

Hercules was already part immortal before his death. Zeus really didn't have a choice about elevating him to olympus, otherwise part of Heracles would have been left on the funeral pyre for all eternity.

I refuses to worship Zeus.... All must worship Jupiter or die! INFIDELS!!!!

Ever studied Latin and Ancient Greek?

Zeus Patrem (excuse the use of English type, I don't have a Greek key program), the ancient Greek for "Father Zeus", is the source from which Rome created the moniker "Jupiter".

For what it's worth, I'd sooner worship Zeus, Athene, Apollo and company than Jehova. At least they have character.

When was the last time you saw a panhellinc person out healing the blind and sick in the name of Zeus or Apollo?

Oh? You implied that your mystical experience was religious. Religion is supernatural, in all guises. Please explain if it's otherwise.

I did not imply that at all. You inferred it.

In certain definitions of religion, religion is inextricably linked to what we call the supernatural. However, many mystics do not belong to a religious tradition, nor do we make claims about the existence or nature of the supernatural. I don't think I can explain better until you tell me what you mean by 'religion' and 'supernatural'.

Not trying to be snarky, but it would be easier to discuss if we were all using the same definitions.

When was the last time you saw a panhellinc person out healing the blind and sick in the name of Zeus or Apollo?

It was at the same time I saw them on TV asking for "love" donations and suggesting that you remember them in your will so that they could continue Zeus's work. Oh, and refusing to allow gay marriage, of course.

When was the last time you saw a panhellinc person out healing the blind and sick in the name of Zeus or Apollo?

Hippocrates?

(So pretty much everyone who takes the Hippocratic oath, in case it's not clear).

It was at the same time I saw them on TV asking for "love" donations and suggesting that you remember them in your will so that they could continue Zeus's work. Oh, and refusing to allow gay marriage, of course.

I would've thought that Zeus would allow gay marriage given the way Greek society was full of homosexual behavior. (Though it was mainly due to believing that women were incapable of love like practically everything else...)

It was at the same time I saw them on TV asking for "love" donations and suggesting that you remember them in your will so that they could continue Zeus's work. Oh, and refusing to allow gay marriage, of course.

There is a difference between religionists on tv, and real life followers.

When was the last time you saw a panhellinc person out healing the blind and sick in the name of Zeus or Apollo?

Peloponnessian wars?

But if I worship Odin, my Jarls will gain an extra +10% added to their hit points, and everyone knows that one's Jarls can never have to many hit points.

There is a difference between religionists on tv, and real life followers.

Not according to those tv preachers.

OK... again... I am going to stop now. This does not have the potential of going ANYWHERE good, so I am just going to cut it out. :D

Hold it!

The FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER is the newest God. And the newest is obviously the best. Just ask the Muslims and Mormons if the newer isn't the best.

And all you need to do is be a pirate and hijack a thread.

It was at the same time I saw them on TV asking for "love" donations and suggesting that you remember them in your will so that they could continue Zeus's work. Oh, and refusing to allow gay marriage, of course.

Right. He's forgetting Ascalaphus.

Hold it!

The FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER is the newest God. And the newest is obviously the best. Just ask the Muslims and Mormons if the newer isn't the best.

And all you need to do is be a pirate and hijack a thread.


I might be wrong, but I think IPU is newer that FSM. :D

http://www.invisiblepinkunicorn.com/

My god can beat up your god.

My gods will take yours on in a tag team match

I might be wrong, but I think IPU is newer that FSM. :D

http://www.invisiblepinkunicorn.com/

I thought FSM came about during the Kansas ID thing a few years ago, while the IPU has been around for at least a decade. We shall have to ask wiki.

I might be wrong, but I think IPU is newer that FSM. :D

http://www.invisiblepinkunicorn.com/

You are indeed mistaken- the worship of the IPU (bless her holy hooves) is much older than the revelations of Bobby.

You are indeed mistaken- the worship of the IPU (bless her holy hooves) is much older than the revelations of Bobby.

There you go! I am glad that I posted it with the qualifier then. :D

You are indeed mistaken- the worship of the IPU (bless her holy hooves) is much older than the revelations of Bobby.
And, the IPU is actually kind of funny, unlike that tired FSM bullshit. Oh, pirates and a "midgit" how utterly random and clever of you.
There needs to be a vomit smiley.

I did not imply that at all. You inferred it.

In certain definitions of religion, religion is inextricably linked to what we call the supernatural. However, many mystics do not belong to a religious tradition, nor do we make claims about the existence or nature of the supernatural. I don't think I can explain better until you tell me what you mean by 'religion' and 'supernatural'.

Not trying to be snarky, but it would be easier to discuss if we were all using the same definitions.

supernatural
attributed to some force beyond scientific understanding or the laws of nature.

religion
a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, esp. when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs.

Quite simply, anything beyond science, or beyond the methods of science, is supernatural. If your experience was beyond science, then it was supernatural. If it was supernatural, it did not happen, or, it didn't happen as you think it did. Why? Because the supernatural does not exist.

I read that as revelations of booby the first time and was like wtf lolz

The stripper factory is that way ;)

I read that as revelations of booby the first time and was like wtf lolz

I worship Fenrir, your sun will be etted.

this is why you should worship zeus

http://i98.photobucket.com/albums/l255/rtpayton17/WHERE_IS_YOUR_GOD_NOW.jpg

You have successfully succeeded in causing a note of jocularity to tickle me.

this is why you should worship zeus

http://i98.photobucket.com/albums/l255/rtpayton17/WHERE_IS_YOUR_GOD_NOW.jpg

The stripper factory is that way ;)

<-------This way
or that way ------------>

I didn't know they had factories for such things either

http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/thumb/7/7f/Atheist_cat.jpg/542px-Atheist_cat.jpg

But if I worship Odin, my Jarls will gain an extra +10% added to their hit points, and everyone knows that one's Jarls can never have to many hit points.

FYI: the first line of thought after reading this was...

So how many hitpoints does LG's Jarls have and how'd it get so high. :D

FYI: the first line of thought after reading this was...

So how many hitpoints does LG's Jarls have and how'd it get so high. :D

My jarls have Resistance 20/- and Fast Healing 3. :)

supernatural
attributed to some force beyond scientific understanding or the laws of nature.

religion
a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, esp. when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs.

Quite simply, anything beyond science, or beyond the methods of science, is supernatural. If your experience was beyond science, then it was supernatural. If it was supernatural, it did not happen, or, it didn't happen as you think it did. Why? Because the supernatural does not exist.

Okay, mystical experiences may not be attributable to some force beyond scientific understanding or the laws of nature. They may well be rationally comprehensible and natural. At this point, I do not think we have enough knowledge to make an informed judgement. I would definitely not claim that my experience was supernatural, as it was consistent with the rest of my experiences and I did not experience anything that contradicts my current understanding of the scientific and concensual view of reality.

Also, since my experiences did not inspire or come with a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, I would not consider them religious. Many theologians theorise that these beliefs come before such experiences, and then the experiences are defined within this paradigm. To me, this seems likely. Since I was an atheist prior to my experiences, I had no context other than that which any member of modern western civilisation is socialised into.

My experiences also gave me no guidance or information concerning the creation of the Universe by a superhuman agency or agencies, or devotional and ritual observances, or a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs.

I might be wrong, but I think IPU is newer that FSM. :D

http://www.invisiblepinkunicorn.com/

I had to look it up. IPU is 1990 and FSM is 2005. So they can fight over who is more accurate since in the scheme of things they started about the same time with the same basic beliefs and reasons for existence.

When was the last time you saw a panhellinc person out healing the blind and sick in the name of Zeus or Apollo?

Yesterday. Prove me wrong.

yet Hercules was the only one to accend to godhood?

It's Herakles if we're dealing with Zeus as opposed to Jupiter. So ner!

the King is displeased at your lack of faith...you have been condemned to watch VH1 reality TV for all eternity

the King is displeased at your lack of faith...you have been condemned to watch VH1 reality TV for all eternity

"Josh now must decide which girl he'll choose: 'I like, um Tiffany, but Valerie is kinda cool. It's really hard because I...um want a nice girl, but Jane is like so attractive, even though she's, um, mean...' "

The king bestows upon you a sausage biscuit XD

Obligatory Post-From-The-Past:

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=278201

The king bestows upon you a sausage biscuit XD

*sacrifices half of it to king*

Obligatory Post-From-The-Past:

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=278201

Some things never change on this forum, eh, Goob?

Though I was looking for George Carlin's less well-known quote about the competition between gods regarding their dick size, I came across this old favorite.

I've begun worshipping the Sun for a number of reasons. First of all, unlike some other gods I could mention, I can see the Sun. It's there for me every day. And the things it brings me are quite apparent all the time: heat, light, food, a lovely day. There's no mystery, no one asks for money, I don't have to dress up, and there's no boring pageantry. And interestingly enough, I have found that the prayers I offer to the sun and the prayers I formerly offered to God are all answered at about the same 50-percent rate.
-- George Carlin

*sacrifices half of it to king*

lol that guy really does creep me out though randomly appearing with food and all....

I found god and how he makes things work

http://i98.photobucket.com/albums/l255/rtpayton17/fat-guy-in-jungle-for-aargh.png

I'd rather worship Apollo, actually. He's got a strong work ethic. He's still around today, where as Zues, the lazy bum, is quite comfortable in his retirement.

true, except Zeus has a habit of visiting his female worshippers at night.


Is Zeus the only god who gets around?

Been worshipping Aphrodite for some time now, and nothing.

the King is displeased at your lack of faith...you have been condemned to watch VH1 reality TV for all eternity

Wow... I'm gonna get a TV... WITH CABLE!!!

My god can beat up your god.

Not mine!
S/He/It has his/her/its encounters on lego playfields, and rides his/her/its people and self around in iron chariots.

http://www.thebricktestament.com/judges/iron_chariots/jg01_19a.html
http://www.thebricktestament.com/judges/iron_chariots/jg01_19b.html
http://www.thebricktestament.com/judges/iron_chariots/jg01_19c.html

Fourthly, He'll change into a bull and fuck your girlfriend. :)

Edit: Yay! This is my thread now! *dances*

If he changes into a shower of gold, I'll have a go.

Though I was looking for George Carlin's less well-known quote about the competition between gods regarding their dick size, I came across this old favorite.

I've begun worshipping the Sun for a number of reasons. First of all, unlike some other gods I could mention, I can see the Sun. It's there for me every day. And the things it brings me are quite apparent all the time: heat, light, food, a lovely day. There's no mystery, no one asks for money, I don't have to dress up, and there's no boring pageantry. And interestingly enough, I have found that the prayers I offer to the sun and the prayers I formerly offered to God are all answered at about the same 50-percent rate.
-- George Carlin
Quality