NationStates Jolt Archive

http://www.ketv.com/news/14133442/detail.html

I guess we're gonna find out. :)

http://www.ketv.com/news/14133442/detail.html

I guess we're gonna find out. :)

I don't see the wisdom in this. If he loses the case, he doesn't prove his point, but if he wins, God is going to have to use a creation equity loan to pay him.

Here is a possible defense (http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28484) God's lawyers can use.

http://www.ketv.com/news/14133442/detail.html

I guess we're gonna find out. :)

I bet God's rolling on the floor of heaven laughing.

Well then I am so suing Santa Claus and the Iguana Man this weekend. You don't know how many times they screwed me.

ONe way or another, this will not end well.

Even if the guy wins;

"I won! I won! Hey God, I won!'

God: "No you didn't." *poof*

Silly little man: "... shit!"

God: "Omnipotence, bitch! Here come the pies next... " *the rain of pies begins*

Silly little man: "Ahhh! Pie deluge!" *drowns in pies*

:)

I can't decide which one is the funniest thing I've read this month, the case or that bipolar disorder defense.

To prove that the defendant is guilty of those things they must first prove that the defendant exists. Avoiding to leave any proof of existence is a pretty clever defense.

If the plaintiff wins it'll be hard to enforce the ruling. They can't go to heaven, collect a fine and bring it back to earth or put God in prison. I guess they could collect the fine from God's local representatives on earth. Maybe they could keep a prison cell empty for the duration of the punishment and conclude that since God is everywhere that includes doing the time in that cell.

geez he wants to make god stop making terroristic threats but god hasnt MADE a terroristic threat in....2000 years. that really is a frivolous suit!

Hmm. I wonder if this will ever be cited as precedent...

So what's he going to sue him for?

Hmm. I wonder if this will ever be cited as precedent...

I hope so. Then, when I get pulled over I can tell the officer, "Don't you have better things to do, like catching murderers or Christian deities?"

I hope so. Then, when I get pulled over I can tell the officer, "Don't you have better things to do, like catching murderers or Christian deities?"

"God can go faster than the speed of light, but I can't do ten over?"

To prove that the defendant is guilty of those things they must first prove that the defendant exists. Avoiding to leave any proof of existence is a pretty clever defense.

Since when do you have to prove the defendant's existence? It's generally just assumed from the start.

http://www.ketv.com/news/14133442/detail.html

I guess we're gonna find out. :)

How's God going to be served? Are they going to kill an officer of the court for the express purpose of serving Him? That could be an interesting conversation.

Officer of the Court: God, I'm here to serve you court papers, because someone is suing you.

God: Oh great. :rolleyes:

Officer of the Court: Yes. By the way, could you resurrect me, so I can get back to my job and family?

God: Um, .........no. :p

Officer of the Court: :(

I think he needs to be tried for genocide, incitement to murder, actual murder, etc etc

Ernie is the man!

God's gonna sleep through the date, after tokin' it up a little too much and throwing the dice on Dungeons & Dragons.
Oh yeah, and some hentai.

You know, if you want to make a point about frivolous lawsuits--and I mean actual frivolous lawsuits, not this mistaken impression of most lawsuits being frivolous because they have every possible reason a lawsuit could occur leveled at the beginning(to protect from claims of malpractice, idiots)--you could do a lot better to sue an entity that actually, you know...exists.

Like the Pope. Sue the Pope. That's how you make a statement.

Like the Pope. Sue the Pope. That's how you make a statement.

Double-D Dogg Dare.
http://www.websmileys.com/sm/crazy/265.gif

You have a good point.
Remember, he'll have to clear his calendar of all the pederasty lawsuits, and perhaps get around a few others involving fencing goods to the Nazis and whatever else, but i'm sure he'll get right back to you.
....and he'll hire Exxon's lawyers to represent.

Double-D Dogg Dare.
http://www.websmileys.com/sm/crazy/265.gif

You have a good point.
Remember, he'll have to clear his calendar of all the pederasty lawsuits, and perhaps get around a few others involving fencing goods to the Nazis and whatever else, but i'm sure he'll get right back to you.
....and he'll hire Exxon's lawyers to represent.
Exactly.

ya ok if these he or shi wins i can say to the charch going that there god is a war cremmnal. lol

http://www.ketv.com/news/14133442/detail.html

I guess we're gonna find out. :)

I just hope he does that cool card trick again... You know, the one he did the last time he was in court (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0076489/).

ya ok if these he or shi wins i can say to the charch going that there god is a war cremmnal. lol

Wow! Look how upseting this news is - it broke Kaze's ability to use English. :(

I just hope he does that cool card trick again... You know, the one he did the last time he was in court (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0076489/).



Wow! Look how upseting this news is - it broke Kaze's ability to use English. :(

Kaze's from Japan - so it's excusable, unlike your inability to write 'upsetting' :)

*totally assuming your gaijin*

http://www.ketv.com/news/14133442/detail.html

I guess we're gonna find out. :)

Another lawsuit by a crackpot suing yet another fictional character. What's next? Someone suing Santa Clause?

I just hope he does that cool card trick again... You know, the one he did the last time he was in court (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0076489/).



Wow! Look how upseting this news is - it broke Kaze's ability to use English. :(

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7033690469126809364&q=george+burns+god&total=21&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=8

:)

How's God going to be served? Are they going to kill an officer of the court for the express purpose of serving Him? That could be an interesting conversation.

Officer of the Court: God, I'm here to serve you court papers, because someone is suing you.

God: Oh great. :rolleyes:

Officer of the Court: Yes. By the way, could you resurrect me, so I can get back to my job and family?

God: Um, .........no. :p

Officer of the Court: :(

God could manifest as a flaming pillar in the courtroom. That'd be amusing.
"The defendant will confine himself to forms suited to public viewing, such as will not cause damage to the courtroom. In otherwords, stop being on fire."

Theres also the question of how youre supposed to address God. Cant really call Him 'mister', how can you? That might get you lightning bolt'd.

"Sir, please take the stand. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you ... eeeehm... you ?"

geez he wants to make god stop making terroristic threats but god hasnt MADE a terroristic threat in....2000 years. that really is a frivolous suit!

I think, as the other thread on this topic points out, that the aim is to show how ludicrus this culture of suing is.

Has one of those foolishness contained in Kansas spilled over the border to Nebraska?

Kaze's from Japan - so it's excusable, unlike your inability to write 'upsetting' :)

*totally assuming your gaijin*

..and your inability to write 'you're' :)

*making same assumption*

"Sir, please take the stand. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you ... eeeehm... you ?"

You win the thread in my opinion. :D

Wasn't this exact story a crappy movie a few years back?

Wasn't this exact story a crappy movie a few years back?

Yeah, ummm Billy Conerly?

Presumably
Moving in mysterious ways = jaywalking

Im just wondering how god would pay a fine?

Doing jail time is easy; as He is omnipresent, He is already in prison; in fact, he has been in prison longer than any other individual, so has already served his time.
As to paying a fine, I suspect that He has no money, due to the fact that no possessions or bank accounts are officially made out to 'God'. This can be easily rectified, considering that a.) God is a native american, having always been in the american continent, and was within the US when the country was founded (indeed, many considered Him a highly important member of society at the time), and b.) He can list every person on earth as a dependant, due to His status as the father of humanity. Therefore, the United States of America owe God a tremendous amount of money, because He is officially unemployed, dirt poor, and has billions of dependants.
Any fine could be taken directly from the massive rebate God is owed by the US government- with plenty to spare.

Of course, He would have to prove that He exists in order to recieve this pension, and would probably have to fight other creator myths for the money...

God doesn't cause rape, murder, earthquakes, hurricanes or any of that. Things move on their own flow, and people have free will. God is far more passive than this man here implies.

I think God will win the case.

:D

Im just wondering how god would pay a fine?

Doing jail time is easy; as He is omnipresent, He is already in prison; in fact, he has been in prison longer than any other individual, so has already served his time.
As to paying a fine, I suspect that He has no money, due to the fact that no possessions or bank accounts are officially made out to 'God'. This can be easily rectified, considering that a.) God is a native american, having always been in the american continent, and was within the US when the country was founded (indeed, many considered Him a highly important member of society at the time), and b.) He can list every person on earth as a dependant, due to His status as the father of humanity. Therefore, the United States of America owe God a tremendous amount of money, because He is officially unemployed, dirt poor, and has billions of dependants.
Any fine could be taken directly from the massive rebate God is owed by the US government- with plenty to spare.

Of course, He would have to prove that He exists in order to recieve this pension, and would probably have to fight other creator myths for the money...

You forgot something: God is omnipotent. If He's assessed a fine, he can just say, "Let me check my wallet. Wait, I think I have it". *POOF* "Yep. Here's the money for the fine!". :D

Breaking News: That state senator just died in what appears to be a freak lightning strike.


:p

That would be fantastic.

I think, as the other thread on this topic points out, that the aim is to show how ludicrus this culture of suing is.

yeah i read the link. i was agreeing that it frivilous.

can you sue god for something that happened to someone else? unless the complainant has been struck by lightning after blaspheming does he even have a complaint?

Wasn't this exact story a crappy movie a few years back?

Yup, I can't remember the name of it (saw it in passing as I was straightening shelves), but the plot is almost exactly like this. A Senator or somesuch sues God.

Breaking News: That state senator just died in what appears to be a freak lightning strike.


:p

That would be fantastic.

I was thinking the same thing. Also was having a flashback to when I heard that Jim Caviezel was struck by lightning when they were filming the crucifixiction scene of The Passion. Terrible, of course, but I just had to laugh.

yeah i read the link. i was agreeing that it frivilous.

can you sue god for something that happened to someone else? unless the complainant has been struck by lightning after blaspheming does he even have a complaint?

And if He were to strike this Senator down, would it be considered witness tampering?

Just watch, the judge will hold God in contempt for not showing up to court and then he'll wake up the next morning covered in boils.

So what's he going to sue him for?

It's the U.S. They don't need a 'what for'.

And if He were to strike this Senator down, would it be considered witness tampering?

lol

i think it would!

To anybody that doesn't understand Nebraska politics won't understand this.

Ernie Chambers has for the last 30 years or so defended the rights of the poor weak and minorities by taking things to the extreme. He once got out of a speeding ticket because there was a law that said a State Senator (which he is) could not be arrested while the legislature was in session. They once tried to put in a dress code for the legislature, so he bought a shirt and tie and put it in front of his desk in the senate chambers so they could talk to a tie if they wanted (he always wears T-shirts).

He has a law degree but makes his living as a barber so he can keep in touch with the people of the "near north side" (poorest area) of Omaha.

He's somewhat of a loose cannon but always has a point behind what he does. Many that don't understand think he's nuts, but those that work with him respect him because he keeps everyone from being complacent. Something that could easily happen in a conservative state like Nebraska.

geez he wants to make god stop making terroristic threats but god hasnt MADE a terroristic threat in....2000 years. that really is a frivolous suit!
How is threatening that if you don't obey a specific set of rules, (including those about sabbath day and condemning polytheism to the same extent that murder is condemned) you will suffer in hell for eternity somehow better than terrorism?

It's the U.S. They don't need a 'what for'.

Well actually you do, no matter how stupid or seemingly pointless it is...

How is threatening that if you don't obey a specific set of rules, (including those about sabbath day and condemning polytheism to the same extent that murder is condemned) you will suffer in hell for eternity somehow better than terrorism?

all im saying is, he made that threat 2000+ years ago.

what has he threatened lately?

Stupidity: It's not just for christians anymore.

Stupidity: It's not just for christians anymore.

Stupidity was never just for Christians. Every religion (and non-religion) has stupid people in it.

Stupidity was never just for Christians. Every religion (and non-religion) has stupid people in it.

True. And if the senator sued satan, I would have said "Stupidity: it's not just for Satanists anymore." I could list several other religions and their dieties, but here in america, god is, by default, the xtian one.

I ought to sue Buddha, that serene fuck! :mad:

Kaze's from Japan - so it's excusable, unlike your inability to write 'upsetting' :)

*totally assuming your gaijin*

As someone who's been teaching ESL in Japan for 15 years, I doubt the veracity of this. Kaze's "broken" English is not at all characteristic of Japanese English, but instead is characteristic of the typical intentional abuse of English by US teens attempting to "text speak.

As for my "inability to write 'upsetting', typos happen and are not intentional, as Kaze's example seems to be.

yeah i read the link. i was agreeing that it frivilous.

can you sue god for something that happened to someone else? unless the complainant has been struck by lightning after blaspheming does he even have a complaint?

I guess that all depends on your defintion of God.

Using mine, yeah you can sue God for any thing you could sue another human for.

all im saying is, he made that threat 2000+ years ago.

what has he threatened lately?

Well via his proxy on earth one Mr Pope, he has continued the threats up to and including the present day!

Stupidity: It's not just for christians anymore.

Heh it never was. Aren't we all born stupid?

Heh it never was. Aren't we all born stupid?

Actually, I was extraordinarily intelligent when I was born. Then shortly afterward, as I grew older, I grew dumber. I suspect that a lack of breastmilk beyond a certain age played a part in my intellectual decline. *nod*

Im just wondering how god would pay a fine?

Doing jail time is easy; as He is omnipresent, He is already in prison; in fact, he has been in prison longer than any other individual, so has already served his time.

That's easy. When he doesn't pay his fine they'll lock him up, and as you said yourself, he's omnipresent so he's already in jail. Problem solved!

Actually, I was extraordinarily intelligent when I was born. Then shortly afterward, as I grew older, I grew dumber. I suspect that a lack of breastmilk beyond a certain age played a part in my intellectual decline. *nod*

Umm well it's funny you mention that, coz the same sorta thing just made me fatter!

God Responds!!! :eek:

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/law/09/20/suing.god.ap/index.html

God Responds!!! :eek:

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/law/09/20/suing.god.ap/index.html
The jurisdiction issue could be a massive problem to overcome, just as God pointed out. :p

The jurisdiction issue could be a massive problem to overcome, just as God pointed out. :p

But it must be terribly difficult to find a decent lawyer in Heaven. :p

But it must be terribly difficult to find a decent lawyer in Heaven. :p
What was that old joke? God yelling at Satan about failure to live up to a contract and threating to sue... and then Satan asking where God will find a lawyer? :D

This is further proof that the rest of humanity is here solely for my entertainment. :rolleyes:

To anybody that doesn't understand Nebraska politics won't understand this.

Ernie Chambers has for the last 30 years or so defended the rights of the poor weak and minorities by taking things to the extreme. He once got out of a speeding ticket because there was a law that said a State Senator (which he is) could not be arrested while the legislature was in session. They once tried to put in a dress code for the legislature, so he bought a shirt and tie and put it in front of his desk in the senate chambers so they could talk to a tie if they wanted (he always wears T-shirts).

He has a law degree but makes his living as a barber so he can keep in touch with the people of the "near north side" (poorest area) of Omaha.

He's somewhat of a loose cannon but always has a point behind what he does. Many that don't understand think he's nuts, but those that work with him respect him because he keeps everyone from being complacent. Something that could easily happen in a conservative state like Nebraska.
I like how Good Lifes posted this and no one listened to him. Really says something about NSG.

Well via his proxy on earth one Mr Pope, he has continued the threats up to and including the present day!

oh do you recognize this "Mr pope" as god's propxy on earth?

i thought not.

What was that old joke? God yelling at Satan about failure to live up to a contract and threating to sue... and then Satan asking where God will find a lawyer? :D

Yay! :D

God is supposed to be all powerful. But when moses went to free his people did God do the nice thing and poof his people from bondage to the promised land? No...no poofing was involved. Instead he plagued egypt and killed of the first born of every family...then sends them on a long strenuous walk through harsh desert and mountain areas to said promised land. He was kind enough to give them food though :rolleyes:

God is supposed to love all of humanity. So when the hebrews arrived in the promised land rather than telling his people to live in harmony with the natives, he gives his people an ultimatum. "Kill them all!"

God is supposed to be all knowing. But rather than simply NOT placing the forbidden tree in the Garden of eden. He puts it there and specifically points it out expecting the 2 young humans to do EXACTLY as he says....yea sure...either he didn't see what happened next coming..or hes a major prick.

Because of this God can easily be sued for worship under false pretenses. The murder, genocide, all the other fun stuff is just a bonus.

I guess that all depends on your defintion of God.

Using mine, yeah you can sue God for any thing you could sue another human for.

'Your honour, I hereby charge that the defendant's omniscience constitutes an unacceptable breach of my clients privacy and is a form of voyeurism. I call for the defendant to pay my client a suitable fee and to limit His omnipotence in the foreseeable future through the creation of a rock too heavy for Him to lift or a burrito too hot for Him to eat.'

:D

good ol Ernie chambers. if you have ever seen the Nebraska Legislature you will see a bunch of people in suits and standing out from the crowd you will see Ernie Chambers wearing jeans and a t shirt. i believe he represents north omaha which is the part of omaha known to be a mostly black community and highest crime rate area.

but as the article says he is just trying to make a point on how frivolous law suits can get. one in particular the article made reference to is a lawsuit against a judge that prevented the use of the word rape in a trial.

I haven't had a chance to comb through the whopping 5 pages of thread yet, but there's been an update to the situation:

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/law/09/20/suing.god.ap/index.html?eref=rss_topstories

'Your honour, I hereby charge that the defendant's omniscience constitutes an unacceptable breach of my clients privacy and is a form of voyeurism. I call for the defendant to pay my client a suitable fee and to limit His omnipotence in the foreseeable future through the creation of a rock too heavy for Him to lift or a burrito too hot for Him to eat.'

:D

"As counsel for the defense, I would argue that the whole "hot burrito" thing is unneccessarily racist and violates my client's civil rights. Why couldn't he be asked to create scrambled eggs or borsht (for instance) that is too hot to eat? And why is my client being encouraged, considering the state of the world today and the number of children who go to bed hungry, to render food inedible at all? As such, Sally Struthers and I would like this case dismissed."

I haven't had a chance to comb through the whopping 5 pages of thread yet, but there's been an update to the situation:

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/law/09/20/suing.god.ap/index.html?eref=rss_topstories
Was that the Senator in that picture? Because he fits the part of God perfectly, face wise!

Seriously though, I find it hard to believe that the so-called response from "God" just poofed onto the desk. Much more likely that whoever reported it is making shit up just to look good.

I bet the insurance companies will be quaking in their boots.

If the senator wins his case then God isn't allowed to commit random acts of destruction in the USA anymore, and therefore insurance companies will have to prove that something is an Act of God or face being taken to court for libel/slander by God or his/her/its legal representative.

I bet the insurance companies will be quaking in their boots.

If the senator wins his case then God isn't allowed to commit random acts of destruction in the USA anymore, and therefore insurance companies will have to prove that something is an Act of God or face being taken to court for libel/slander by God or his/her/its legal representative.

EXCELLENT point! Well done!:D

I ought to sue Buddha, that serene fuck! :mad:
Nah, just toke what he's been tokin'.

Breaking News: That state senator just died in what appears to be a freak lightning strike.


:p

That would be fantastic.
http://www.news24.com/News24/Africa/News/0,,2-11-1447_2175752,00.html
http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2003/12/14/1071336800605.html
http://www.woai.com/news/local/story.aspx?content_id=883b642c-4de6-4af3-8a3d-f7febe1f6ed8
...fantastic?
http://www.snopes.com/religion/bolt.asp
http://www.metoffice.gov.uk/weather/impacts/200612/18006150.html
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGzFfwtOOxY
..so far, no senators though?

Coincidence, Straughn.

And you know, there is an example in fiction of a God being part of a trial...Star Trek: The Next Generation, episode 4x13, "Devil's Due." Unfortunately the actual trial part is only a smaller portion near the end of the episode, but it's amusing nonetheless.

Coincidence, Straughn.That's not what god told me!
I would never tell you anything that wasn't absolutely true that didn't come right from His mouth and He wants me to tell you


And you know, there is an example in fiction of a God being part of a trial...Star Trek: The Next Generation, episode 4x13, "Devil's Due." Unfortunately the actual trial part is only a smaller portion near the end of the episode, but it's amusing nonetheless.

Ardra rocks.

I liked that episode a *lot*.
Fecklar!
*goes on memory, AGAIN revealing extreme nerdiness*

That's not what god told me!



Bah. Misinterpretation, coincidence, and advantage taking.

That one with the priest asking for a "sign" during a storm? Purely took advantage of the situation. He sees there's a storm during his sermon so he decides to gamble--possibly knowing his church was likely to be struck by lightning--and call out for a "sign." Lucky coincidence, nothing more.

Ardra rocks.

I liked that episode a *lot*.
Fecklar!
*goes on memory, AGAIN revealing extreme nerdiness*

I just watched it...I'm on a slight Star Trek binge to tide me over while waiting for Atlantis to start up next week.

Bah. Misinterpretation, coincidence, and advantage taking.
God's in the details.

That one with the priest asking for a "sign" during a storm? Purely took advantage of the situation. He sees there's a storm during his sermon so he decides to gamble--possibly knowing his church was likely to be struck by lightning--and call out for a "sign." Lucky coincidence, nothing more.I guess you could call it that. Reminds me of this:
http://www.newscientist.com/channel/health/mg18725094.300-prayer-fails-to-help-heart-surgery-patients.html
...or maybe even this?
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/03/31/health/31pray.html?ei=5090&en=4ecf3383e5b00000&ex=1301461200&adxnnl=1&partner=rssuserland&emc=rss&adxnnlx=1190445206-5eW2BqfERlBLzbDIK4+YyQ

:D

I just watched it...I'm on a slight Star Trek binge to tide me over while waiting for Atlantis to start up next week.

Ah. *nods*

God has responded to the suit!!!!

:eek:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20925026/

Michael the archangel is listed as a witness.

Michael the archangel is listed as a witness.

Bah, i'd take Gabri-El over it any day. Much more style.
...well, with a sidekick of the John Travolta version of Micha-El.