NationStates Jolt Archive

Inspired slightly by they taller girls/short guys thread, how do you feel about guys dating girls who weigh more than they?

Why on earth would anyone care about that?

Don't get me wrong, I heart skinny girls but I've met and had relationships with several girls who weighed more than I did. Big girls need love to people :).

Why on earth would anyone care about that?

Is there something wrong with wanting to have sexual attraction with a partner? Isn't that part of nature?

Why on earth would anyone care about that?

Some people don't find fat people attractive? If I don't find a girl physically attractive, why would I date her?

I've weighed more than a couple of guys I've dated...

but they were either shorter than me or just super skinny. One such super skinny guy was surprised when he found out that I weighed less than him though. Which of course meant that he'd overestimated my weight by at least 15lbs... jerk.

Some people don't find fat people attractive? If I don't find a girl physically attractive, why would I date her?Gotz too much viagra to burn?

Some people don't find fat people attractive? If I don't find a girl physically attractive, why would I date her?

Because you don't lack the ability to judge people purely on as superficial a basis as how much they weigh, or what they look like?

Because you don't lack the ability to judge people purely on as superficial a basis as how much they weigh, or what they look like?

The first thing you notice about a person is their appearance.

Because you don't lack the ability to judge people purely on as superficial a basis as how much they weigh, or what they look like?I doubt that has anything to do with it.

OF course, if you're a skinny guy dating a tall girl, it might not matter she weights more. Butgenerally, people who're into blubber, aren't into skinny people too. Everyone's shallow. Some are just slightly less hypocritical about it.

Umm...desiring a romantic relationship and forming judgments about character or personality are completely different things. I'm not saying I refuse to be friends with fat people, I'm saying that I do not find fat women attractive and, shocking as this may be, being physically attracted to the girl is a damned important thing for a relationship.

:eek:

Not shocking.

Because you don't lack the ability to judge people purely on as superficial a basis as how much they weigh, or what they look like?

Umm...desiring a romantic relationship and forming judgments about character or personality are completely different things. I'm not saying I refuse to be friends with fat people, I'm saying that I do not find fat women attractive and, shocking as this may be, being physically attracted to the girl is a damned important thing for a relationship.

I have a marathon runner build and I <3 chicks on the athletic side (my rule is as long as she can't beat me up with a disapproving look) so yeah I guess I would date a girl who was less skinny than me

course weighing is a whole different creepy matter who weighs people?! am I thinking this is to do with skimping on hot air balloon rides?

Is there something wrong with wanting to have sexual attraction with a partner? Isn't that part of nature?

Depends what you're after from them. If it's a long term relationship, one would hope that you place sexual attraction after a long list of other factors. Or, if it's not a secondary consideration, then at least not give it a total veto over the relationship.

Some people don't find fat people attractive? If I don't find a girl physically attractive, why would I date her?

Since when does 'weigh more' automatically equate to 'fat'? I weigh less than my wife, but that's because I'm a skinny bastard; she's a perfectly normal weight.

I can't imagine caring whether my partner weighed more or less than I do. However, the likelihood of a healthy adult male weighing significantly less than I do is rather poor, seeing as I am rather small and slender to begin with.

Since when does 'weigh more' automatically equate to 'fat'? I weigh less than my wife, but that's because I'm a skinny bastard; she's a perfectly normal weight.It's because of the subjective nature of the thread, methinks. If a chick weights more than me, for example, she's either fat, a yeti or a pretty hefty body builder.

Speaking as a rather skinny guy, the odds are slightly against me if girls won't date anyone who might possibly weigh less then them.

To that end I voted "a girl who would date a guy who weighed less than me " on the poll. To sway public opinion. :p

It's because of the subjective nature of the thread, methinks. If a chick weights more than me, for example, she's either fat, a yeti or a pretty hefty body builder.

or she likes heavy metal :)

I'm 240 pounds of manly muscle. A girl heavier than I am is one of three things, starting with reason #2:

2) She's on the very, very, very high end of the human size distribution curve, and thus unlikely to ever meet me before I settle down.

C) She's very heavy, and though I don't automatically dislike fat people, I'm not one to eschew a natural biological preference for an attractive woman when evolution-driven thought processes have gotten us this far in the first place. Yes, it's mean and evil-hearted, but it kept the species alive, so I plan to follow this instinct to help keep the species alive. Or, if you prefer, if God made us in His image, then His image of a woman was one that was probably smaller and lighter than myself.

I) Her physique is that of a professional body builder, and again, following in my recognition of the importance of my further contribution to the human gene pool because of my own inflated egotistical (and arguably chauvinistic) nature, my plans on bringing children into this world would preclude me from establishing a romantic interest with that person. If she's that heavy and that fit, then she's probably been altering her natural body chemistry, and one of the side effects of doing so is a significantly decreased ability to bear children.

As we can see, then, the desirability of a woman heavier than me (Brawny man right down to the thick beard) is somewhat non-existant. But hey, that's me, and let's face it, not all guys are Paul Bunyan.

The first thing you notice about a person is their appearance.

Rather depends on how you meet them, now, doesn't it?

Regardless of which - if you meet someone, is their look or weight actually going to prevent you dating them if you like them?

I doubt that has anything to do with it.

OF course, if you're a skinny guy dating a tall girl, it might not matter she weights more. Butgenerally, people who're into blubber, aren't into skinny people too. Everyone's shallow. Some are just slightly less hypocritical about it.

Everyone is shallow... this follows up on the stupidity of 'everyone's racist' that we saw a few days ago.

You may be shallow. That's fine. For you. Doesn't mean everyone is though.

Rather depends on how you meet them, now, doesn't it?

Regardless of which - if you meet someone, is their look or weight actually going to prevent you dating them if you like them?

True.

No, but it might prevent me from liking them enough to date them. Appearances don't matter whatsoever if I am friends with an individual. However, if I am not in any way attracted to someone's appearance, there is a very slim chance I would date them. But who knows.

Rather depends on how you meet them, now, doesn't it?

Regardless of which - if you meet someone, is their look or weight actually going to prevent you dating them if you like them?

I'm a little more than certain that I wouldn't like them (in that way) if they weren't physically attractive.
Having stuff in common doesn't turn me on, a nice ass and slim thighs do.

Umm...desiring a romantic relationship and forming judgments about character or personality are completely different things. I'm not saying I refuse to be friends with fat people, I'm saying that I do not find fat women attractive and, shocking as this may be, being physically attracted to the girl is a damned important thing for a relationship.

I find it a little sad that people can actually have a 'preference' for a metabolic arrangement that tops their ability to be attracted to people on a person-to-person basis.

I've usually found that people I'm attracted to... are attractive to me. It's that simple. If I like a persons's personality, for example, I have yet to find myself in a situation where I have not found that person attractive, also.

Rather depends on how you meet them, now, doesn't it?Perhaps. Who knows? Some 6'4" oilrig worker might just meet the love of his life while he's asking directions, blindfolded...

Regardless of which - if you meet someone, is their look or weight actually going to prevent you dating them if you like them?Yes of course. It's the difference between friends and lovers.

True.

No, but it might prevent me from liking them enough to date them. Appearances don't matter whatsoever if I am friends with an individual. However, if I am not in any way attracted to someone's appearance, there is a very slim chance I would date them. But who knows.

But what would it take to find a person for whom you could find NO attraction?

Can you rule out set weight brackets?

Rather depends on how you meet them, now, doesn't it?

Regardless of which - if you meet someone, is their look or weight actually going to prevent you dating them if you like them?

I think the honest answer for most of us would be "maybe."

I mean, I don't think of myself as a shallow person. I've been attracted to guys whom many people would probably not find conventionally attractive. I have never, however, been attracted to a man who was morbidly obese. I honestly don't know if I could be; I find the appearance of morbid obesity exceedingly unattractive. I could still very much enjoy such a person's company, and seek it out, but I really don't know if I could ever feel that I wanted to go to bed with them.

At the same time, however, love can overcome a lot more things then a few hundred excess pounds. :p If someone I was already dating became morbidly obese, I do not believe that would end my attraction for them or seriously damage the relationship. The point, then, is not "I could never care about an obese person," but rather "obesity is something I find unattractive and off-putting in a potential mate." The former is shallow; the latter, in my opinion, is simply a matter of personal taste, and not really within one's control. I mean, I also find possession of a penis and a Y chromosome to be attractive traits in a potential mate, and therefore don't tend to feel physically attracted to women - but I certainly can like and respect a woman as much as a man, and would not cease to love a man if he spontaneously became female.

I'm a little more than certain that I wouldn't like them (in that way) if they weren't physically attractive.


To who? To you - I assume?

I'm not sure I've ever met anyone who could realistically be described as being 'not physically attractive'. It's a sliding scale, and a very subjective one at that.

You may be shallow. That's fine. For you. Doesn't mean everyone is though.By all means, show me I'm wrong. It should be very simple to do. Have you ever fallen for someone you felt no sexual attraction to? If you dig fat chicks, do you dig skinny ones too? Or vice versa?

I find it a little sad that people can actually have a 'preference' for a metabolic arrangement that tops their ability to be attracted to people on a person-to-person basis.

I've usually found that people I'm attracted to... are attractive to me. It's that simple. If I like a persons's personality, for example, I have yet to find myself in a situation where I have not found that person attractive, also.

*shrug* Good for you, then? While personality is important, so are looks, to me. For me to be attracted to a girl enough for a relationship she has to have a combination of the two, acceptable (to me) looks and intelligence. I don't find this sad or shallow, I call it personal preference. Physical characteristics are important to everyone at some level or another, otherwise we'd all be bisexuals since nothing but compatible personalities factor into things, it's simply a matter of prioritizing that for yourself.

But what would it take to find a person for whom you could find NO attraction?

Can you rule out set weight brackets?

A lot of work? The person would have to some mix of hypocrite/arsehole/liar/thief/pillager/spartan/intolerant/pyromaniac. Or some combination of the above.

Never really tried to...but any weights that are rather above/below healthy levels are automatically out.

Perhaps. Who knows? Some 6'4" oilrig worker might just meet the love of his life while he's asking directions, blindfolded...


That's the most likely example you can think of, in a world where people are increasingly 'meeting' for the first time, through less than face-to-face media?

I think the honest answer for most of us would be "maybe."

I mean, I don't think of myself as a shallow person. I've been attracted to guys whom many people would probably not find conventionally attractive. I have never, however, been attracted to a man who was morbidly obese. I honestly don't know if I could be; I find the appearance of morbid obesity exceedingly unattractive. I could still very much enjoy such a person's company, and seek it out, but I really don't know if I could ever feel that I wanted to go to bed with them.

At the same time, however, love can overcome a lot more things then a few hundred excess pounds. :p If someone I was already dating became morbidly obese, I do not believe that would end my attraction for them or seriously damage the relationship. The point, then, is not "I could never care about an obese person," but rather "obesity is something I find unattractive and off-putting in a potential mate." The former is shallow; the latter, in my opinion, is simply a matter of personal taste, and not really within one's control. I mean, I also find possession of a penis and a Y chromosome to be attractive traits in a potential mate, and therefore don't tend to feel physically attracted to women - but I certainly can like and respect a woman as much as a man, and would not cease to love a man if he spontaneously became female.

I'm not quite sure how we got from 'weighs-more-than-me' to morbidly obese.

By all means, show me I'm wrong. It should be very simple to do. Have you ever fallen for someone you felt no sexual attraction to? If you dig fat chicks, do you dig skinny ones too? Or vice versa?

I have fallen for people I felt no immediate attraction for.

I am bored with wasting my time on someone who thinks 'fat chicks' constitutes a worthwhile use of time, though...

Jesus Tapdancing Christ, when do we reach the level, as a society, when shit like this doesn't matter anymore? What's next? "Girls dating guys who are more nearsighted than they are?" Left handed? Able to use chopsticks? Able to PLAY Chopsticks? For fuck's sake, let's just listen to one another and date based on whether or not we like what we hear in addition to liking what we see, and not base the latter on what anyone thinks but the two people in question.

I'm not quite sure how we got from 'ways-more-than-me' to morbidly obese.

Because I was using myself as an example, and I don't happen to care whether someone weighs more or less than I do. (And, being a small and slender female, my dating options would be extremely limited if I was so unlucky as to find guys weighing more than I do unattractive. That would pretty much leave me with dating famine victims or little people. :p )

I don't really care. Weight only becomes an issue if a person is obese to an extent it becomes repulsive.

I feel people talk about physical attraction too often, as if it's somehow more important than other connecting factors. It's just the easiest to describe.

That's the most likely example you can think of, in a world where people are increasingly 'meeting' for the first time, through less than face-to-face media?

*cough* NSG *cough*

Sort of.

Unless a girl were just absolutely horrid to look at (lots of ribs showing, or at the other end, flab just hanging out to God-knows-where), I wouldn't really give a shit how she looked provided she was super cool to be around. I'm leaning towards the personality end of the deal, but at some extreme, the physical attractiveness (or lack thereof) will take over.

*cough* NSG *cough*

Sort of.

It has happened.... we've had couples meet on here... some married based on it.

I don't think I could date a girl who wieghed more than me. Nothing against larger girls(I might have dated one or two...), I just might have a problem finding a girl who wieghed more than me. I'm kind of a large guy...

I don't really care. Weight only becomes an issue if a person is obese to an extent it becomes repulsive.

I feel people talk about physical attraction too often, as if it's somehow more important than other connecting factors. It's just the easiest to describe.

Indeed. While I certainly have certain physical traits I find attractive in a man, none of them are half as important to me as the personality traits I find attractive. It's just a lot faster to say that I like slim, boyishly charming men with piano-player hands and wavy hair than it is to explain exactly what I mean when I say that I expect a guy to be comfortable enough in his masculinity that he despises machismo as much as I do, or that I want him to have a wicked and witty sense of humor to compliment my own, or that he needs to be a dominant personality with a gentle soul.

I would feel this is a very good thing and not to be frowned upon at all as I only weigh 145 lbs.

Indeed. While I certainly have certain physical traits I find attractive in a man, none of them are half as important to me as the personality traits I find attractive. It's just a lot faster to say that I like slim, boyishly charming men with piano-player hands and wavy hair than it is to explain exactly what I mean when I say that I expect a guy to be comfortable enough in his masculinity that he despises machismo as much as I do, or that I want him to have a wicked and witty sense of humor to compliment my own, or that he needs to be a dominant personality with a gentle soul.

While that is possibly true... if you had to choose the looks or the lifestyle, so to speak, which would you be favouring?

While that is possibly true... if you had to choose the looks or the lifestyle, so to speak, which would you be favouring?

That is very unrealistic, there is no reason to choose between the two, even if such a situation and choice existed.

That is very unrealistic, there is no reason to choose between the two, even if such a situation and choice existed.

A joke, I assume?

I disagree with Grave_n_idle's apparent assertion that having physical appearance factor into your dating preferences makes you shallow. If you don't care a whit for appearance, good for you. But it's pretty holier-than-thou to blame anybody else for following the same patterns of courting and mating that have, as mentioned, kept the species on its feet for several million years, and been reinforced for every generation in that time.

As for the topic in question, if women really are starting to date skinnier guys, that's all the better for me; apparently my BMI is perfectly average, but my frame is slender. But there's always been "someone for everyone": in fact, a lot of someones for everyone. I think as long as you take some care for your appearance, and if you're satisfied with how you look, chances are quite excellent that somebody else will be too.

As for what attracts me, I put a lot of stock in personality and intelligence, absolutely, but physical beauty isn't so far behind. Luckily I have pretty appreciative tastes: I'd put my "average" preferred weight at perhaps a few pounds on the heavy side.

I disagree with Grave_n_idle's apparent assertion that having physical appearance factor into your dating preferences makes you shallow. If you don't care a whit for appearance, good for you. But it's pretty holier-than-thou to blame anybody else for following the same patterns of courting and mating that have, as mentioned, kept the species on its feet for several million years, and been reinforced for every generation in that time.

As for the topic in question, if women really are starting to date skinnier guys, that's all the better for me; apparently my BMI is perfectly average, but my frame is slender. But there's always been "someone for everyone": in fact, a lot of someones for everyone. I think as long as you take some care for your appearance, and if you're satisfied with how you look, chances are quite excellent that somebody else will be too.

As for what attracts me, I put a lot of stock in personality and intelligence, absolutely, but physical beauty isn't so far behind. Luckily I have pretty appreciative tastes: I'd put my "average" preferred weight at perhaps a few pounds on the heavy side.

First - I didn't say "having physical appearance factor into your dating preferences makes you shallow".

Secondly - "the [same] patterns of courting and mating that have, [as mentioned], kept the species on its feet for several million years..." has largely, historically, been 'fucking anything that moved'.

While that is possibly true... if you had to choose the looks or the lifestyle, so to speak, which would you be favouring?

Well, I'd certainly be far more likely to be attracted to a guy who had the sort of personality I appreciate but looked nothing like my theoretical ideal than a guy who was physically a god among men but had a useless personality. At the same time, of course, I'd be more likely to be attracted to a guy who had all the traits, physical and mental/emotional, that I find attractive than the physically unattractive guy with the great personality.

Of course, it should be noted that a lot of the traits I find physically attractive don't exist in a vacuum. I like guys who are active and energetic, which is hard to find in someone very overweight. I like guys with a sincere and deep interest in music, which often aligns itself with those piano-player hands I find so alluring. A devilish sense of humor is often expressed via the sort of smile I find particularly cute. Bright, attentive eyes are not infrequently a reasonable indicator of intelligence. And so on, and so forth.

A joke, I assume?

No, a point that they don't exist independently. No one is going to choose someone based purely on one aspect of them.

If I wasn't willing to date a girl who weighed more than me, the pickings would be very slim in both senses of the word.

Why is the poll "weighs more" rather than "is fatter than?" In general, a woman will weight less than a man unless she is a lot fatter, taller, or more muscular. There are also people for whom weight doesn't show as much, my friends tend to look surprised upon finding out how heavy I am, even when I was in a bathing suit at the time.

Why is the poll "weighs more" rather than "is fatter than?"

Political Correctness.

First - I didn't say "having physical appearance factor into your dating preferences makes you shallow".

Secondly - "the [same] patterns of courting and mating that have, [as mentioned], kept the species on its feet for several million years..." has largely, historically, been 'fucking anything that moved'.

Sorry for the misunderstanding, but that's what I was getting out of your posts, and what it seems a few other people have been getting out of them too.

While an amusing hyperbole, "fucking everything that moves" only really tends to come up when, say, sacking and pillaging a settlement after conquering it. Which, despite humanity's historic predeliction for violence, didn't account for a significant degree of reproduction. So, no, humans actually do have standards.

Why is the poll "weighs more" rather than "is fatter than?" In general, a woman will weight less than a man unless she is a lot fatter, taller, or more muscular. There are also people for whom weight doesn't show as much, my friends tend to look surprised upon finding out how heavy I am, even when I was in a bathing suit at the time.

A fact that I used to my great advantage in my post explaining why a woman weighing more than myself would probably be undesirable, or desirable but very very rare.

On the other hand, my ideal woman would technically be fatter than myself, as her BMI would be higher (I like curves, not stick figures) for her to be healthy.

I went out with a girl who weighed more than me. It was good.

Well the question is - How much of a difference between weight?

If you're saying "Average Male v McHeffers" then I'd say - Probably a No.

If you're saying "Skinny Male v Average Female" then I'd say - Well, I'm not skinny skinny..165, 5'10" is about Average I say...so...er...no personal opinion, but do I find it weird? Heh, I only see it happening with Emo Guys..but the kind of girls they're dating..you just..wish you didn't know.

In the context of "Average Male v Chubby Female" then I'd say - wooo...

Basically..

It really just depends on how much of a difference.

Also, a lot of it has to do with how the female carries her self...no pun intended.

Is she OMGGzg zxdfgoiung I'M FAT *Proceed to Out-Eat a Professional Foot Ball Team's Linebacker Squad*

or

Is she just..a person? Normal, funny, good attitude...et cetera..

meh, anyways I'm sure that wasn't the post you were looking for so...

What do I think of this?

Nothing, what is there to think about truly in the end about other peoples' relationships?

Why is the poll "weighs more" rather than "is fatter than?" In general, a woman will weight less than a man unless she is a lot fatter, taller, or more muscular.

You've never seen a skinny man? I've dated a guy who weighted less than me and back then my bmi was about 20. Yes, I was fatter than him but I certainly wasn't fat.

It might be a bit of shock to some guys but there really are girls out there who prefer skinny guys to muscular guys.

I just married a guy just over half my weight.

Funny... I never thought I'd be attracted to anyone under 200 lbs. That, I considered to be absolutely minimal. 300 lbs is far better. But then, I fell in love with A PERSON who weighted about 110 lbs. Super-skinny, but I love HIM, not some superficial thing about him.

If a fat-admirer like me can fall deeply in love with an anorexic, others can tollerate people who are not their ideal type.

Haven't read the replies.. but yeah.. it seems the slim'er dudes like thick women.. who can blame them? :p

Edit: IRL

So, no, humans actually do have standards.Perhaps, but they haven't been the same standards throughout human history.

Skinnier in terms of figure, or actual weight?

I'm slim, but being 6 foot 4 tall, I still weigh more than most girls.

I don't really care about weight, but I do prefer girls that aren't to fat. I am quite skinny (except the beer belly) so a girl can look perfectly good to me but still weigh more (not very likely because I'm quite tall, taller than almost every girl i know)


If a fat-admirer like me can fall deeply in love with an anorexic, others can tollerate people who are not their ideal type.

I think I might need something more than "tolerate" someone to date them.

And I don't really plan to marry someone because of their looks, that would be kind of silly.

I have to say that I wouldn't date a girl bigger than I was. Seeing that I'm over 6 feet tall and weigh 230 pounds (104 kg/16.5 stone), that hasn't been much of an issue. It's not that I have anything against heavier girls, just to get that big would mean that they are likely fairly unhealthy as well.

I expected to see a lot more on the "No way in HELL!" side of the poll. I'm surprised it's so balanced.

But then again, considering my preference, I find it unlikely I would date a woman who DIDN'T weigh more than me. Significantly. And I'm a pretty big guy.

I'm 5'11 and 235 pounds. While it may strike some as horribly insensitive, I don't think I could be attracted to a woman who was bigger than I was.

Because, frankly, a woman my weight unless she was VERY tall or VERY strong would be morbidly obese.

Don't get me wrong, I heart skinny girls but I've met and had relationships with several girls who weighed more than I did. Big girls need love to people :).

Q.How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
A.They are fun to ride but you don't want your friends to find out.

On a serious note though...how much of a weight difference are we talking here....I've played football for years..and I do some MMA/boxing stuff...as well as training to prepare for basic training...so I'm in good shape.....if we're talking like she's a little out of shape then yea i would probably go on a date with a girl like that...but if she's like OMG its coming towards us size ...then no...I wouldn't....

I'm 5'11 and 235 pounds. While it may strike some as horribly insensitive, I don't think I could be attracted to a woman who was bigger than I was.

Because, frankly, a woman my weight unless she was VERY tall or VERY strong would be morbidly obese.

She could be a Norse woman?

Hell no, I'm almost 2m tall and weight something like 80-95kg, hell no I'd date a fatso girl like that (I've never seen a girl whos even nearly as tall as I am).

Hell no, I'm almost 2m tall and weight something like 80-95kg, hell no I'd date a fatso girl like that (I've never seen a girl whos even nearly as tall as I am).

Watch the comedy central roast of Flavor Flave.....Norse women are scary...no wonder the vikings went pillaging

Watch the comedy central roast of Flavor Flave.....Norse women are scary...no wonder the vikings went pillaging

link? :D
But then again I've always been the tallest in my class, and I'm a gym bum, I go to the gym ALOT. Not saying I'm some kind of Arnold, there are plenty of shorter guys who are 10 times stronger than I am in the gym, I'm of average build, exept the height. But because I'm so tall it makes me extremely heavy.

I wish I'd be around 180 cm, a doctor told me that I'll probably grow a bit over 2m. When I was around 10 they told me I'd be very short, imagine the look on their faces if they'd see me now.

Personaly I prefer central- and eastern European laidies.

Norse Woman (http://i.imdb.com/Photos/Events/2639/BrigitteNi_Mazur_3956903_400.jpg)

There she is with flavor Flav...the crack head with the viking helmet lol

The link doesn't seem to work.

Norse Woman (http://i.imdb.com/Photos/Events/2639/BrigitteNi_Mazur_3956903_400.jpg)

There she is with flavor Flav...the crack head with the viking helmet lol

oh hrmm..I suppose I'll fix that then...or you can just google the name brigitte nielsen
that would probably work too...I think she's something like 6'2 or so not sure though...still quite tall for a woman...

Funny... I never thought I'd be attracted to anyone under 200 lbs. That, I considered to be absolutely minimal. 300 lbs is far better. But then, I fell in love with A PERSON who weighted about 110 lbs. Super-skinny, but I love HIM, not some superficial thing about him.

If a fat-admirer like me can fall deeply in love with an anorexic, others can tollerate people who are not their ideal type.

Well, I guess that love conquers all...and if you don't have to worry about if a person is "your type," then they must be pretty special.

That said, I'm glad to see a fellow chubby chaser...

Umm...desiring a romantic relationship and forming judgments about character or personality are completely different things. I'm not saying I refuse to be friends with fat people, I'm saying that I do not find fat women attractive and, shocking as this may be, being physically attracted to the girl is a damned important thing for a relationship.

Why do you assume that a girl who weighs more than a guy must be fat? I weight more than my husband, but most people wouldn't call me fat.

In fact, when it comes right down to it, most people weigh more than my husband. He would've been hard-pressed to find someone if "weighs less than me" had been a requirement.

Because, frankly, a woman my weight unless she was VERY tall or VERY strong would be morbidly obese.

Guys often underestimate normal weight for a woman. I've never been 235 pounds, but I have been over 200, and I've never been anywhere remotely close to morbidly obese. Most charts don't even put me in the "obese" category at all, but in the "overweight" category. I'm not "VERY" tall - I'm about 5'10".

I weigh 200 pounds. No way I'm dating a girl who weighs anything close to me. I did date a girl in college who was an inch taller and weighed 5 pounds more, but she was the center for our female basketball team and she had teh face of a model. That's rare, though.

Why on earth would anyone care about that?

.

Yes of course. It's the difference between friends and lovers.

If you aren't friends with your lover, your relationship won't last long.

Have you ever fallen for someone you felt no sexual attraction to?

I have. Or, at least, someone I felt no sexual attraction to at the outset. The idea that sexual attraction can only come from physical appearance is completely foreign to me.

I don't think it is possible to meet a women who weighs more than me and who could still participate in the sort of things that I enjoy (hiking, camping, hunting and such).

Of course, if I was proved wrong, I would instantly admit it. I just don't see that many athletic women who weigh over 240.

Edit: And to be honest, I could stand to lose about 10lbs, myself. Still, these are the waters.

oh hrmm..I suppose I'll fix that then...or you can just google the name brigitte nielsen
that would probably work too...I think she's something like 6'2 or so not sure though...still quite tall for a woman...
I'm still taller, 2m= 6.56167 ft :headbang:.

I've wred the entire thread, and while I have sympathy for the "it's the person, not the body" theme, I will say this:

The first female who unmistakably hits on me, takes me out to dinner and eats what I order, pays and drives me home ... gets the whole works.

I can afford to be fussy.

I've wred the entire thread, and while I have sympathy for the "it's the person, not the body" theme, I will say this:

The first female who unmistakably hits on me, takes me out to dinner and eats what I order, pays and drives me home ... gets the whole works.

I can afford to be fussy.

Wait, are you talking about your own fantasy or mine? It's like I could have said the same thing...well, for the most part...in my case, if she eats her food, half of mine, orders the biggest dessert on the menu and finishes it, and then pays for it, she gets a second date and probably more.

I'm still taller, 2m= 6.56167 ft :headbing:.

6'6" ... but you talk in metric. You must grasp that to Americans, that means you are lying.

Wait, are you talking about your own fantasy or mine? It's like I could have said the same thing...well, for the most part...in my case, if she eats her food, half of mine, orders the biggest dessert on the menu and finishes it, and then pays for it, she gets a second date and probably more.

Yep, we're sluts for sure.

Just because we are that lazy doesn't mean we aren't nice people, right?

http://www.nomuffintop.com/ProductImages/logo_200.jpg
REAL MEN exploit women

Christ, do just about all the men on here weigh 200lbs+?

Christ, do just about all the men on here weigh 200lbs+?

I weigh slightly less than 140 pound I think.

Yep, we're sluts for sure.

Damn straight. The first lady who tattoos "SLUT" on my ass gets my heart. And my ass.

Just because we are that lazy doesn't mean we aren't nice people, right?

I'm not lazy...I just have a very unconventional concept of gender roles and beauty.

I'm still taller, 2m= 6.56167 ft :headbang:.

Okay well how many women do you know that are over 6 feet tall...only the ghoulish norse women

Guys often underestimate normal weight for a woman. I've never been 235 pounds, but I have been over 200, and I've never been anywhere remotely close to morbidly obese. Most charts don't even put me in the "obese" category at all, but in the "overweight" category. I'm not "VERY" tall - I'm about 5'10".

at 5'10 you're pretty tall for a woman.

Guys often underestimate normal weight for a woman. I've never been 235 pounds, but I have been over 200, and I've never been anywhere remotely close to morbidly obese. Most charts don't even put me in the "obese" category at all, but in the "overweight" category. I'm not "VERY" tall - I'm about 5'10".

A lot of people underestimate weights - in large part, we live in a society where taller women who weight 140 lbs are considered "fat." Granted, that's a little extreme...well, it's a lot extreme, actually...

A lot of people really have no idea what constitutes a "healthy" or "acceptable" weight, even as far as health goes.

Christ, do just about all the men on here weigh 200lbs+?

I sure do. I don't look right otherwise... being 6'4" and all. Being much less than 200 lbs would probably make me look ill.

Okay well how many women do you know that are over 6 feet tall...only the ghoulish norse women

I know 2... one is my sister (she's 6'1"), and the other is an ex-model friend of mine (she's 6'2").

At 5' 6" and 115 lb, I'm pretty much equal or lesser in weight than the majority of women in my area. If I ever get a date at all (not looking very likely at this point), it will probably be with someone heavier than I am.

At 5' 6" and 115 lb, I'm pretty much equal or lesser in weight than the majority of women in my area. If I ever get a date at all (not looking very likely at this point), it will probably be with someone heavier than I am.

I'm not sure that this is a bad thing for someone whose signature once included the first line to "Baby Got Back"...

at 5'10 you're pretty tall for a woman.

Pretty tall, yes, but not so tall that I'm outside the norm. Most of the women I know are shorter than me, but quite a few are taller as well.

Edit: Actually, I guess that is pretty damn tall as compared to averages. Wikipedia puts the average height for a woman in the US at around 5'4". My experience must be outside the norm, because I know a lot more women who are taller than the average than I do women who are shorter. I would have guessed the average height at closer to 5'7".

For the hell of ignoring the whole topic and repsonding to the poll and question of the first post...

I'm a pretty skinny guy, so any woman who is actually healthy is probably going to weigh more then me. In fact my last girlfreind had a few pounds on me, but not by much. So I have no problem with it.

Although I'd be a little put off if they weighed twice as much as me.

Christ, do just about all the men on here weigh 200lbs+?

I'm about 5'10" and I weight around 130-135 pounds. Maybe as low as 125 pounds. So not everyone.

Pretty tall, yes, but not so tall that I'm outside the norm. Most of the women I know are shorter than me, but quite a few are taller as well.

Edit: Actually, I guess that is pretty damn tall as compared to averages. Wikipedia puts the average height for a woman in the US at around 5'4". My experience must be outside the norm, because I know a lot more women who are taller than the average than I do women who are shorter. I would have guessed the average height at closer to 5'7".

I've heard women who stand 5'7" call themselves "short" but be called "tall" by others...it doesn't make much sense to me...

Yes of course. It's the difference between friends and lovers.

Is that all that really separates friends from lovers?


I'm not quite sure how we got from 'weighs-more-than-me' to morbidly obese.

Because a lot of men tend to assume that?

I don't think I could date a girl who wieghed more than me. Nothing against larger girls(I might have dated one or two...), I just might have a problem finding a girl who wieghed more than me. I'm kind of a large guy...

Does that make you a hypocrite?

Why is the poll "weighs more" rather than "is fatter than?" In general, a woman will weight less than a man unless she is a lot fatter, taller, or more muscular. There are also people for whom weight doesn't show as much, my friends tend to look surprised upon finding out how heavy I am, even when I was in a bathing suit at the time.

Well, "weighs more" and "fatter than" are two different things. Weight is not the most innacurate measure in terms of judging someone's size/appearance/attractiveness, and just because someone weighs more than someone else certainly doesn't mean they're larger. (of course, it's a different story if we're comparing a 100 pound young girl with a 300 pound man)

Perhaps, but they haven't been the same standards throughout human history.

Agreed.

I weigh 200 pounds. No way I'm dating a girl who weighs anything close to me. I did date a girl in college who was an inch taller and weighed 5 pounds more, but she was the center for our female basketball team and she had teh face of a model. That's rare, though.

Do you think that a thinner girl would date you, though?




As I said above, the numbers on the scale often have little to do with the way someone appears. I weigh much more than most people expect.

I would certainly date someone who was, well, average. I would date someone who was slightly heavier than average, but I might feel less sexually attracted to them. I would also date someone slightly thinner than me, but again I'd be less physically attracted to them. I have also dated those dealing with anorexia, which was very hard for me from a physical attraction point of view, especially because I really don't like bones or very lanky figures, but there is more to dating and/or love than looks. I must admit, I have never in the past dated someone obese or even overweight. This doesn't mean that I wouldn't, because personality has almost always been the predominant factor in my relationships, but I have never found myself sexually attracted to someone "fatter" than me.

Getting back to the question though... Would I date someone who weighed more than me? Yes, but it depends.

I'm 6'2". When I was 19, I looked like Christian Bale in The Machinist. No exaggeration.
Now I'm 34, I've got a little bit of middle-age-spread going on (ie, not much tone in the abdominal region) but I still get hassled by mates about my 'girly' arms and 'xylophone' ribs.

I've been out with women who've weighed more than twice my own weight - and thank fuck! because I'd be a lonely, lonely guy if I didn't.

I've gone out with a woman almost half my height, and she weighed only very slightly less than I did at the time. And she certainly wasn't "fat". In fact, to be crude, I've never seen tits so spectacular on such a tiny chick.

I've had one or two awkward moments with larger partners, such as when engaging in bondage activities as the dominant partner - when a certain larger girl was handcuffed behind her back, and it was up to me to roll her over when I wanted to, er... 'change my angle of approach' (as it were), and it was somewhat unflattering to her when I was audibly straining to achieve this...

That didn't stop us enjoying one of the best years of my sexual life! And, apparently, of hers, too...

Seriously, what's next? I'm waiting for the "[Gender] dating [other gender] with a different eye colour than themselves" thread next...

(ZOMG!!!11!01)!01)1(01!)019!(!(0!0) a blue-eyed Aryan was tainted by a brown-eyed lesser human through conversational contact!!))!)(!)!)-10!01-01_)!-!)10!)

Why do you assume that a girl who weighs more than a guy must be fat? I weight more than my husband, but most people wouldn't call me fat.

In fact, when it comes right down to it, most people weigh more than my husband. He would've been hard-pressed to find someone if "weighs less than me" had been a requirement.

Well, the thread title is about girls dating guys "skinnier" than themselves, implying the guys are dating girls "fatter" than themselves. Also, at a purely subjective level, I tend to date girls my same height or shorter. Now, I'm ~5'4" or so, maybe 5'5", but weigh ~150 lbs., it is extremely uncommon for a girl in my preferred height range to weigh more than me and not be fat (or, to be frank, too built for me to find attractive). Am I saying it's impossible for a 5'3" girl to weigh 160 lbs. and still be slender? No, that would be ridiculous. I have a very slender build myself and the fact that I weigh as much as I do is, to put it simply, usually shocking to people. But, judging from past experience, I'm not liking to meet my physical counterpart any time soon.

Also, I lead a fairly active lifestyle with capoeira, tae kwon do and ultimate frisbee all being important parts of my weekly routine and I've come to the conclusion that any girl I date really needs to be as active and, preferably, interested in similar if not the same activities since they're so important to me right now. You'll be hard pressed to find someone who is fat or very heavy and leads that kind of lifestyle. *shrug* As was said before, this really is a very subjective poll and I find it odd that some are jumping down others' throats about their very personal opinions on the matter.

Alrighty, I'm me again...

Perhaps, but they haven't been the same standards throughout human history.

Very true but irrelevant to the point I was making, which is that humans have always had some kind of physical standards for attraction, both socially and, to differing degrees, individually.

Very true but irrelevant to the point I was making, which is that humans have always had some kind of physical standards for attraction, both socially and, to differing degrees, individually.Yes, but since those standards have changed throughout history, it's a possibility that they can be altered either via social pressure or personal will.

Dumb question. Of course I would. Thought I must say you'd be hard-pressed to find a guy who weighs less than I do these days.

Yes, but since those standards have changed throughout history, it's a possibility that they can be altered either via social pressure or personal will.

Ah, I get your meaning. I agree, but if their current state isn't harming anyone, we shouldn't compel people to change if they don't want to, nor should we stigmatize them for not doing so. Having a reasonable personal standard for physical attraction is harmless.

I definitely wouldn't date a girl who weighed more than me. Mind you, I weigh about 90kgs, so it would have to be one whopper of a girl before she crossed that line. I wouldn't mind going out with a slightly overweight girl, in fact I have before, but I definitely wouldn't go for an obese chick. Hell, I don't even make freinds with obese people, it disgusts me.

Ah, I get your meaning. I agree, but if their current state isn't harming anyone, we shouldn't compel people to change if they don't want to, nor should we stigmatize them for not doing so. Having a reasonable personal standard for physical attraction is harmless.I agree that we shouldn't stigmatize someone for having a particular personal standard for physical attraction, but I think it's worth pointing out to them that adhering to that standard in all cases is cutting out a lot of people that they would potentially (otherwise) be compatible with.

Ah, I get your meaning. I agree, but if their current state isn't harming anyone, we shouldn't compel people to change if they don't want to, nor should we stigmatize them for not doing so. Having a reasonable personal standard for physical attraction is harmless.

Maybe you're just clumsy at expressing yourself... "reasonable personal standard" implies that anyone who doesn't match your button-push, is somehow of lower quality, and that your assessment is somehow objective.

Ah, I get your meaning. I agree, but if their current state isn't harming anyone, we shouldn't compel people to change if they don't want to, nor should we stigmatize them for not doing so. Having a reasonable personal standard for physical attraction is harmless.

I don't know that people's preferences, especially en masse, are really all that harmless, though. Women are almost expected to look like they've crossed the Gobi desert without food or shoes in order to be attractive, or at least a good chunk of them are. It's a little disheartening, especially for men who prefer the opposite.

I agree that we shouldn't stigmatize someone for having a particular personal standard for physical attraction, but I think it's worth pointing out to them that adhering to that standard in all cases is cutting out a lot of people that they would potentially (otherwise) be compatible with.

I wouldn't define adhering to that standard in all cases as "reasonable", since I think "shallow" is an arguably apt term for someone like that.

I don't know that people's preferences, especially en masse, are really all that harmless, though. Women are almost expected to look like they've crossed the Gobi desert without food or shoes in order to be attractive, or at least a good chunk of them are. It's a little disheartening, especially for men who prefer the opposite.

I think it's extremely disenheartening, which is why I made sure to say "personal", rather than societal.

Maybe you're just clumsy at expressing yourself... "reasonable personal standard" implies that anyone who doesn't match your button-push, is somehow of lower quality, and that your assessment is somehow objective.

There are reasons I used those particular words, which I've just explained, and they're rather far removed from that inferrence.

*snip* Hell, I don't even make freinds with obese people, it disgusts me.

If you were to replace the word "obese" in that sentence with 'Jew' or 'black person', you'd be considered a horrible person (in this day and age). However, it seems perfectly acceptable to say that about obese individuals. Why?

If you were to replace the word "obese" in that sentence with 'Jew' or 'black person', you'd be considered a horrible person (in this day and age). However, it seems perfectly acceptable to say that about obese individuals. Why?

Because, sadly, it's OK to ostracize obese people overtly in today's society. Just like it's OK to ostracize gays or those with different sexual preferences. It's also OK to ostracize the homeless.

Give it 50 years, and we'll have a whole new set of people that it's OK to make fun of. In the meantime, I'll enjoy being deviant...mmm, supersize women...

supersize...lol...what are your thoughts on gargantuan women?

supersize...lol...what are your thoughts on gargantuan women?

Define "gargantuan." If we're talking women with a little...ahem, more than some extra poundage, I love 'em. Can't get enough. More cushion for the pushin'. If we're talking about Amazon women a la that one episode of Futurama...not exactly what I had in mind.

I thought this thread was about making fun of that band 'Guys like Girls'. Oh well.

Define "gargantuan." If we're talking women with a little...ahem, more than some extra poundage, I love 'em. Can't get enough. More cushion for the pushin'. If we're talking about Amazon women a la that one episode of Futurama...not exactly what I had in mind.

Oh the horrid images I have conjured up in my mind after reading that...

Oh the horrid images I have conjured up in my mind after reading that...

Anything I can do to liven things up around here...

Well i read that while looking at another website that was playing the song "superfreak" you can take it from there

Well i read that while looking at another website that was playing the song "superfreak" you can take it from there

Believe me, I have.

good times good times...phew I need a drink after that one

Have a tall, cold Guinness...or tall, warm Guinness...or however people drink Guinness. Sorry, I'm not allowed to drink; I've exceeded my vice quotient with my love for large women and deviant sex. And time warps, apparently.

good times good times...phew I need a drink after that one

either way would suit me fine...you can never exceed the vice quotient...until it starts physically harming others..

I hear you, but if you have too many vices...well, you might become a little bit messed up and start dropping other people's sanity quotients.

Indeed...I suppose you have reached your limits then...I just hope I don't start thinking about such things later on tonight whilst partying otherwise I will conjure up horrors in my drunken mind that will probably haunt me for weeks

See, if my vices are infringing on your vices...then I just don't know.

I hear you, but if you have too many vices...well, you might become a little bit messed up and start dropping other people's sanity quotients.

Indeed...I suppose you have reached your limits then...I just hope I don't start thinking about such things later on tonight whilst partying otherwise I will conjure up horrors in my drunken mind that will probably haunt me for weeks

See, if my vices are infringing on your vices...then I just don't know.

Damn the time warping...

Is there something wrong with wanting to have sexual attraction with a partner? Isn't that part of nature?

I didn't know that dating someone automatically meant sex ? Who cares how a person looks like in the company of someone else, the view on the packaging can be changed, once you've learned to know the character and spirit, those are more difficult and near impossible to change.

If you were to replace the word "obese" in that sentence with 'Jew' or 'black person', you'd be considered a horrible person (in this day and age). However, it seems perfectly acceptable to say that about obese individuals. Why? Because you aren't born fat. Being fat is a result of your own choices and actions. I think it is perfectly legitimate to reject someone because of their choices. On that note, judaism (or theism in general) would also fall under this category.

Because you aren't born fat. Being fat is a result of your own choices and actions. I think it is perfectly legitimate to reject someone because of their choices. On that note, judaism (or theism in general) would also fall under this category.

And I suppose body type isn't ever due to genes. Sorry, please play again.

And I suppose body type isn't ever due to genes. Sorry, please play again.
No, you don't inherit morbid obesity, you chug your way there. I have no problem with larger body types, or even those who are overweight. It is the morbidly obese that I find disgusting.

Theres the fucking door ->

Obesity is due to, both genes and environment. Yes it's not one or another. You are born with low metabolism doesn't mean you have to be fat. There's eating more fruit/vegetable, there's exercise, and in some extreme cases, there's surgery where they literally suck your fat out (it is actually gaining popularity). On the other hand those who are born with high metabolism shouldn't really be complaining about why other people aren't working for something that they don't have to work for themselves.

That being said, I won't date a girl who weights more than me. Because I am a realistic person who admit that I judge a person by their outer appearance. Sure personalities matters but if a girl aren't attractive I probably won't try to know her in the first place, never mind dating. I weight 150 lb so it's not like I am asking too much.

I didn't know that dating someone automatically meant sex ? Who cares how a person looks like in the company of someone else, the view on the packaging can be changed, once you've learned to know the character and spirit, those are more difficult and near impossible to change.

Sexual attraction isn't the only thing I want in a partner but it is one of the major things. I can look for it while also looking for someone with a good personality, character, etc. They aren't mutually exclusive.

I'm friends with people i'm not sexually attracted to and I date people who would be friends but are attractive to me as well

If she weighs more than me, it better be in muscle. While I don't dislike fat people, I can't see myself being with someone who is overweight. It just doesn't click. If they got fat over time because of nature taking its course (like having children), I wouldn't mind because I at least know it was my fault they got that way.:D