NationStates Jolt Archive

Because there are so many different beliefs present on this forum, I thought it would be a nice gesture if we could all agree on a single religion. As none of the current ones work, we will have to create our own.
The religion (now only a cult) is called NSGism (pronounced NEES-gism), and is still in the development stage. Currently, there is only one sacred law:

"Thou shalt use NSGism as thy secondary faith, only in the instances that thy primary one fails, or the server is busy."
--Thus Spake Zarathustra Siddhartha Christ, first and greatest prophet of NSGism

If you have any other ideas for NSGism, please post them. In the case of contradictory laws or rituals, a rational and cordial debate shall occur. No, just kidding, we'll do what we usually do whenever there is a disagreement: repeat the same thing over and over till the other guy gives up/is forced to leave the computer for food.

(pronounced NEES-gism),
:eek:

That sounds incredibly dirty...

Surely it would be: ENN-ESS-GEE-ism?

Sacrificing trolls upon a ritual alter.

:eek:

That sounds incredibly dirty...

Surely it would be: ENN-ESS-GEE-ism?

And now we have our first schism.

And now we have our first schism.

LOL - the Reformed Church of NSG Pronunciation was born and bitter struggles were had :)

:eek:

That sounds incredibly dirty...

Surely it would be: ENN-ESS-GEE-ism?

Sure, why not? We can make that the second sacred law:

"The sacred title NSGism shalt be spoken as if each of the letters of girth were a divine separate syllable, and the last three letters pronounced so that they rhyme with the way thy says, "prism" or "schism".
--Thus Spake Zarathustra Siddhartha Christ

:eek:

That sounds incredibly dirty...

Surely it would be: ENN-ESS-GEE-ism?American Infidel Dog! It is pronounced POON-tang.

American Infidel Dog! It is pronounced POON-tang.

In the hopes of finding and removing heresies, the Church of NSGism hereby creates the Holy Inquirement.

In the hopes of finding and removing heresies, the Church of NSGism hereby creates the Holy Inquirement.So we need a list of heresies, eh. I'll get cracking.

Ooh! I want to be an Inquirementor!

one shall not use logic in his argument, but shall just ctrl ctrl v his point until he gets bored.

one shall not try to top LG in humor

u shal not bitch about speling n gramer. its de intraweb.

I suppose there will be two new Holy Orders.

The Holy Order of Liberalism
The Holy Order of Conservatism

So we need a list of heresies, eh. I'll get cracking.

The first heresy: NSGism
"This heresy concerns the pronouncing of NSGism. Instead of saying it as "NSGism", as one should, the heretics say "NSGism". What is worse, they have the audacity to spell it exactly the same way as the true faith.
"Suggested punishment: Death by spamming."
--From the Index Wrongum Thinkium

one shall not use logic in his argument, but shall just ctrl ctrl v his point until he gets bored.

one shall not try to top LG in humor

u shal not bitch about speling n gramer. its de intraweb.

Great, we now have the third, fourth, and fifth sacred laws.

Americans,
Infidels,
Dogs,
American Infidel Dogs,
Pronouncing it ENN-ESS-GEE-ism or NEES-gism (btw it is pronounced POON-tang),
Anti-Firefox spellings,
Telus Mobility,
Evolution,
Creationism,
American Idol,
or any TV show that has any country name in its title,
Survivor,
Intellectual Property,
Paris Hilton,
Bjork,
ABBA,
Swedish music in general (ABBA is still its own heresy so, technically it counts as two),
Dial Up Internet,
The British (but not the Brits),
The Jewish (again, not the Jews),
Cheetos,
Cannibalism,
Doom 3,
Steven Anthony Ballmer,
Steve Jobs,
Steve Eurkel (most Steves are evil),
Eric Steven Raymond (that applies to middle names too :)),
Telling others to get a blog,
more to come, in a new post.

We would spend the rest of our lives in committee deciding on what and what not to believe. Given the multitude of religous dimensions here as well as political beliefs this simply wouldn't work unfortunately.


Though I would demand a monthly sacrifice of a troll on a kindling of puppets to appease our god on earth, Max Barry. Or something.

Sacrificing trolls upon a ritual alter.

Hemming their cuffs, darting their waists?

Dragon worship is a much better idea.

We would spend the rest of our lives in committee deciding on what and what not to believe. Given the multitude of religous dimensions here as well as political beliefs this simply wouldn't work unfortunately.

Sacred law number six:
"Thy shalt never, never engage in committeeing. Really. Thine god(s) is/are serious when He/They say this. Just kill each other, if it comes down to that or forming a committee."
--Thus Spake Zarathustra Siddhartha Christ

Hemming their cuffs, darting their waists?

Aww, why can't we just rip their heart out with an athame?

There has to be some kind of appreciation of porn, like "the Tumescent Ascension" or something, "the Feast of the Flaccid" ...
"Titillation of the Trinity"?

...and I hereby announce that I am a A-NSGist as it is nothing than politically motivated bunk. :p

...and I hereby announce that I am a A-NSGist as it is nothing than politically motivated bunk. :p

Yay! Another heart hardened by mistranslations and misunderstanding, on NS of all places!

Yay! Another heart hardened by mistranslations and misunderstanding, on NS of all places!This calls for a fiesta!

This calls for a fiesta!

Erm, i'm still on siesta.

But i'm up for pinatas!

We need to have a crusade of sexy people fight against the infidel newbs.

We need to have a crusade of sexy people fight against the infidel newbs.

You and your crusades, pshaw! ;)

Hey, speaking of crusades ... ever hear of David Sklansky, Ken Jennings, SAT's and $50,000?

Oh yeah - mass production of promotional posters might be in order on that first topic, there.

[QUOTE=The Brevious;13042606]You and your crusades, pshaw! ;)

Hey, speaking of crusades ... ever hear of David Sklansky, Ken Jennings, SAT's and $50,000?

Oh yeah - mass production of promotional posters might be in order on that first topic, there.[/QUOTE

I just googled it.. Wow. :p

I just googled it.. Wow. :p

I'm thinking of using that somewhere else for the fun of it.
http://www.websmileys.com/sm/angels/teu31.gif

We need to have a crusade of sexy people fight against the infidel newbs.

If the crusaders will get the traditional pardon for all their sins, then this could work out nicely... :fluffle:

If not I'm sure an indulgence could be given to you for a modest donation... ;)

A donation of a sexual nature? :D

If the crusaders will get the traditional pardon for all their sins, then this could work out nicely... :fluffle:

If not I'm sure an indulgence could be given to you for a modest donation... ;)

If the crusaders will get the traditional pardon for all their sins, then this could work out nicely... :fluffle:

Yup.
Instead of coins in the eyes, it would be more like pearly blinkies.

A donation of a sexual nature? :D

Sure why not? There are many paths to heaven, that would get you there in a hurry I'd say. :fluffle:

Sure why not? There are many paths to heaven, that would get you there in a hurry I'd say. :fluffle:

'Specially what with the names that get thrown around during the spawning action, arh yeah.

Didn't The Gnostic Gospels of St. Thomas have some goodies on this too?
Besides what the Kama Sutra encourages?

Both in the realm of religious and political 'thought,' NSG's guiding ideology is stupidity.

Both in the realm of religious and political 'thought,' NSG's guiding ideology is stupidity.

The obvious conclusion being ... as William S. Burroughs so eloquently put it ...

Exterminate all rational thought. That is the conclusion I have come to.

Sacrificing trolls upon a ritual alter.

I second that! And should be down with the sacred Hammer of Mod, the Malleus Trollefacarum.

Aww, why can't we just rip their heart out with an athame?

How about we curse them till they glow, then hex them in the dark?:p

I second that! And should be down with the sacred Hammer of Mod, the Malleus Trollefacarum.

Good one!:D

Damn! another religion to blaspheme and lampoon! People, I am running out of time.:D:cool:

Some time back we had the NSG commandments, but did we ever have a list of sins?

Aww, why can't we just rip their heart out with an athame?

But we need to bless it first, and you know we can't do that ourselves. We'd have to find one in the Tower of Magi.

Heretics, all of you.

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=331166

We believe in one God, Max Barry, Creator of NationStates,

From Him come the Administrators [violet], and SalusaSecondus, and Pythagosaurus,

And the Game Moderators Reploid Productions, and Scolopendra, and Frisbeeteria, and Katganistan, and Melkor Unchained, and The Most Glorious Hack, and GMC Military Arms, and Karmabaijan,

And the Forum Moderators Erastide, and Cogitation, and HotRodia, and Tsaraine, and Ardchoille,

For there is no God but Max, and the Moderators are His Prophets. And it is written:

And He caused the Forums to be brought to the world of NationStates, wherein He sealed this beneficence. Then the people rejoiced....

[violet], seated at the right hand of Max, receive our prayer and have mercy on us. Give us this day our daily posts, and forgive us our trolls, as we forgive those who have trolled us. And lead us not into flame wars, but deliver us from spam, for yours is the kingdom, the power, and the glory forever and ever. Amen.

http://aura.zaadz.com/photos/13/122681/large/ceiling_cat.jpg

Ceiling Cat is the Holy Pet of Max Barry.

:eek:

That sounds incredibly dirty...

Surely it would be: ENN-ESS-GEE-ism?

Heretic!

Yay! Another heart hardened by mistranslations and misunderstanding, on NS of all places!

All right! :)

Both in the realm of religious and political 'thought,' NSG's guiding ideology is stupidity.

"For what is knowledge but a filler of empty heads? Nay, I say unto you, leave your heads as empty as the river is watery, and as hard as the sky is blue. Do this, and ye shall float, whensoever ye fall out of a boat."
--From [violet]'s Letter to the Moderators

Swedish music in general (ABBA is still its own heresy so, technically it counts as two),


What about Gunter? He's a swede pretending to be a German :)

I'm a Matheist Barry.

Not a Matthew Barrish! :eek:

I'm a Matheist Barry.

What about the NSG commandments? (Actually, where the hell is that thread? I can't find it).

What about the NSG commandments? (Actually, where the hell is that thread? I can't find it).
Yeah, I think we should include them, even if it's only in an old testament style context.

That said: ooh, another cult. One doth superficially join.