Bride for sale!
Came across this hilarious site called "Marry Our Daughter" today:
http://www.marryourdaughter.com/index.php?option=com_frontpage&Itemid=1&limit=5&limitstart=15
By way of example, meet Courtney P. She is 13 years old, and can be purchased for $49,995. Quoth the advert, "Courtney’s grandmother married at 13, her mother married at 13, and Courtney has decided she wants to keep the tradition going. She would prefer to stay close to her large extended southern family and loves farm or at least rural life. She got an A in Home Ec. and has read up on what else would be expected of her as a wife and is looking forward to it."
I think this makes for a splendid game!
Write an advert selling yourself, your child, or even your sibling, into Holy Matrimony!
I'm selling my cousin, Mandy.
Mandy, age 16. Price: $25,000.
Mandy is a beautiful young woman and an accomplished amateur musician. She has picked up some unruly notions from her secular education and will benefit greatly from a firm hand to set her on a less worldly path. Her farm upbringing has given her ample experience with household chores, as well as a love of animals. She is a hard worker with a bright spirit who will fill your home with music.
Kecibukia
10-09-2007, 15:10
already had a thread on this a few days ago.
Sorry man.
Corneliu 2
10-09-2007, 15:13
already had a thread on this a few days ago.
Sorry man.
Beat me to it :(
Why pay to marry their daughter when I could simply get her pregnant?
Peepelonia
10-09-2007, 15:19
already had a thread on this a few days ago.
Sorry man.
*cough* Woman! *cough*
already had a thread on this a few days ago.
Sorry man.
If you haven't got a woman to sell me, I'm not interested in anything you have to say.
Why pay to marry their daughter when I could simply get her pregnant?
*Gasp*
You would allow some young strumpet to steal your precious bodily fluids before she has been honorably sold to you?!
Rambhutan
10-09-2007, 15:30
*cough* Woman! *cough*
Am I the only one wondering why Bottle and Peepelonia disappear from the board at the same time and return at the same time
...and you never see them in a room together.
Peepelonia
10-09-2007, 15:31
*Gasp*
You would allow some young strumpet to steal your precious bodily fluids before she has been honorably sold to you?!
Steal? I think most men would give it.... for free!
Politeia utopia
10-09-2007, 15:34
*cough* Woman! *cough*
That is a bad cough, you should get your gender fixed :)
Peepelonia
10-09-2007, 15:38
Am I the only one wondering why Bottle and Peepelonia disappear from the board at the same time and return at the same time
...and you never see them in a room together.
Ummm I'm not sure that I like the way you are going here! We certinaly do not holiday together and I did not bump into her in some random street in the middle of Devon last week!
Peepelonia
10-09-2007, 15:39
That is a bad cough, you should get your gender fixed :)
I tried that once before, I didn't like the boobs, so I swicthed back!
*Gasp*
You would allow some young strumpet to steal your precious bodily fluids before she has been honorably sold to you?!
Steal implies that she has some kind of say in the matter.
The Infinite Dunes
10-09-2007, 15:44
I tried that once before, I didn't like the boobs, so I swicthed back!I'm waiting for SP1 before I switch.
Can we get insurance rates? I want something that is nice to look at but relatively low maintenance.
:p
Rambhutan
10-09-2007, 15:59
Pimp my bride would be a good title if they turned this into some kind of reality TV programme.
Please someone tell me that web site is some knid of joke. What parent would sell their 14 year old daughter for 20 grand.
Please someone tell me that web site is some knid of joke. What parent would sell their 14 year old daughter for 20 grand.
Yeah. At 14 you should be asking at least $25000.
The_pantless_hero
10-09-2007, 16:08
Wow, a joke site gets two different topics. Damn you stumbleupon, damn you!
Wow, a joke site gets two different topics. Damn you stumbleupon, damn you!
When you combine the appearance of a good joke site along with my personal vacation schedule (and my associated absence from the internets), this is what happens.
Frankly, I think it's a terrific joke simply because everything described on the site is perfectly legal. In other words, this site is a joke...but it is completely legal to do it for real!
Non Aligned States
10-09-2007, 16:25
Please someone tell me that web site is some knid of joke. What parent would sell their 14 year old daughter for 20 grand.
It's a phishing site.
Frankly, I think it's a terrific joke simply because everything described on the site is perfectly legal. In other words, this site is a joke...but it is completely legal to do it for real!
Not the age of consent. No.
It's a phishing site.
Not the age of consent. No.
In some states you can marry underage with parental consent.
Not the age of consent. No.
Actually, a parent CAN give consent for their minor child to marry. At least in some states...I haven't personally checked the laws in all US states (seeing as how I'm not in the market for a child-bride).
The Infinite Dunes
10-09-2007, 16:42
I'm tempted to put up a picture of a 50-year-old with an asking price of $500.
Deirdre M.
Yet to go through menopause. Her mother was able to produce intelligent and strong boys right up until she hit the menopause at 60. Deirdre is a medically and religiously certified virgin. However, Deirdre has been educated in the ways of satisfying men and should have no problem in that area. Since her mother has becoem bed-ridden Deirdre has become the de facto matron of the house and has become an accomplished chef.
Yaltabaoth
10-09-2007, 17:29
Came across this hilarious site called "Marry Our Daughter" today:
http://www.marryourdaughter.com/index.php?option=com_frontpage&Itemid=1&limit=5&limitstart=15
By way of example, meet Courtney P. She is 13 years old, and can be purchased for $49,995. Quoth the advert, "Courtney’s grandmother married at 13, her mother married at 13, and Courtney has decided she wants to keep the tradition going. She would prefer to stay close to her large extended southern family and loves farm or at least rural life. She got an A in Home Ec. and has read up on what else would be expected of her as a wife and is looking forward to it."
Even worse:
Meet Courtney L. She is 44 years old. A talentless trust-fund junkie whore. Married once, to a sad fuck of a 'rock star', who capped himself with a well-aimed shotgun. Something resembling a human child apparently resulted from this union, though scientists have been unable to confirm the unfortunate creature's genetic origins.
Courtney is tone-deaf, but this didn't stop her front-lining the aptly named band, 'Hole'.
She can be purchased for a syringe filled with any cheap street drug, preferably one that has a passing relationship with opiates.
When you combine the appearance of a good joke site along with my personal vacation schedule (and my associated absence from the internets), this is what happens.
Frankly, I think it's a terrific joke simply because everything described on the site is perfectly legal. In other words, this site is a joke...but it is completely legal to do it for real!
Problem is, it's not just a joke...it's also a phishing scam intended to snatch e-mail addresses to sell to spammers. Minor, but worth noting.
Rhursbourg
10-09-2007, 19:39
do any come with a lrge house in the country and and suitable title that i can steal off the her old folks then reclaim the price
The Alma Mater
10-09-2007, 19:46
*Gasp*
You would allow some young strumpet to steal your precious bodily fluids before she has been honorably sold to you?!
Sure. One can always pay the required 50 shekels of silver to her father afterwards.
The Tribes Of Longton
10-09-2007, 20:08
FOR SALE:
1xMartin AKA Tribes, Teener and Timon.
(probably) Male
20ish years on the clock, light chassis, good with cooking, making a mess and abstract concepts. Two previous owners, one a little rough but item still of decent standard. Not the best bodywork but it does the job. £20 and a "This is England" DVD ono.
New Malachite Square
10-09-2007, 20:15
Pimp my bride would be a good title if they turned this into some kind of reality TV programme.
The problem with pimping your bride is that other people would be paying for your bride as well. Many husbands would prefer to avoid this state of affairs (har har), although presumably they would receive a large cut of the earnings.
Nouvelle Wallonochie
10-09-2007, 20:22
If you haven't got a woman to sell me, I'm not interested in anything you have to say.
So you're not interested in buying a strapping young lad? Damn, I'll have to send the latest shipment back to the factory. They'll probably never take orders from me again :(
Copiosa Scotia
10-09-2007, 20:29
I wonder, would this make a good short-term investment? Could I possibly buy a girl at 13 and resell her at 16 for a tidy profit? Or would she depreciate in value over time?
The Tribes Of Longton
10-09-2007, 20:32
I wonder, would this make a good short-term investment? Could I possibly buy a girl at 13 and resell her at 16 for a tidy profit? Or would she depreciate in value over time?
That depends on your market and the change in quality of the goods. In the majority of markets she'd most probably appreciate in value. However, the deep south...
H N Fiddlebottoms VIII
10-09-2007, 20:39
Write an advert selling yourself, your child, or even your sibling, into Holy Matrimony!
Hm . . .
Yo Mama
Age: So old she owes Fred Flinstone a food stamp.
Price: So cheap I'll pay you to take the bitch.
Too stupid for housework, too fat to lure even the most determined chubby chaser, and so clichéd I can predict her every antic before she even starts. All the same, yo mama has plenty of positives. She's ugly enough to serve as a home defense system, and she eats everything, making her an ideal replacement for your broken garbage disposal.
Besides, why shouldn't you buy her: She's yo mama.