NationStates Jolt Archive

Apparently he's hooked his cat on crack now.
Source. (http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2007410737,00.html)
JUNKIE Pete Doherty is snapped appearing to give his kitten crack — from a mini-pipe he made specially for it.

Sickened pals who leaked the picture claimed the warped rocker regularly gets the pet smashed.

They said it PASSES OUT with its paws in the air, suffers MOOD SWINGS and even thinks it can FLY.

One added: “In Pete’s mind it is the only one who understands him now.”
So, necessary news, pointless piece of pop prattle or product of the infamous Tabloid Random Headline Generator?

I once wrote a random phrase generator for my friend's calculator, it created 4-part sentences along the lines of "Finnish terrorists bought a basket of frogs" or "Irish plumbers fire bombed a nunnery", yet even it could never have outweirded, "British Pop star gives crack to kitten."
I tip my hat to the Sun, well-played, goodsirs, well-played.

Ban this sick filth!

Think of the children!

Think of the Page 3 girls!

And, because I came across it a while back and thought it hilariously in-keeping with their pre-war agenda, I present you...

The Daily Mail! In:

Not in my genepool! (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/technology/technology.html?in_article_id=476244&in_page_id=1965)

I heiled all night! - Adie Hitler

I've shat things more newsworthy than this.

The Daily Mail!
Ahhh, the Mail. Where would we be without the red tops to remind us of the evils of immigrants, the Euro and whatever party they aren't supporting this election?

Oh, and trust the Mail, in the same breath as denouncing this weeks paedophile, to give a detailed description of the Vanessa Hudgens nude photo, with instructions on which site to find it. :rolleyes:

I've shat things more newsworthy than this.
Well yes, but you were responsible for the Diabolical Dublin Dookie of '99...

Hmm, spamming my own thread. New low :(

EDIT: Fuck it, I reckon this thread should serve to bash the British tabloids. Most articles read like a mentally retarded chimp tried to have sex with a typewriter.