NationStates Jolt Archive

...how does one tell someone they're interested in them and like them without leaving the possibility that it's interpreted as loving that person?

I was just thinking about this because in french the verbs to like and to love are both aimer. So telling someone "je t'aime" could mean that one either likes someone or one loves someone.

But then is it possible that it's only in languages where there's a difference between the words like and love that using the word love to describe feelings towards another person matter so much...

Maybe you are thinking to much into this.

In French, "I like you" = "je vous aime". "I love you" = "je t'aime", and then there's still "je vous adore".

In French, "I like you" = "je vous aime". "I love you" = "je t'aime".
Umm... I'm not sure that that's the case, I mean, you use "vous" with superiors, people you know somewhat et c, but once you're using "tu" that doesn't mean that you automatically go from liking a person to loving a person.

In languages where like and love are the same word...
You mean like English?

She likes Klaus VonFakename?!
I love this part.

You mean like English?

She likes Klaus VonFakename?!
I love this part.
No, in English they're similar, but not the same.

For instance, I might tell someone I've dated a month that I like them, but chances are good that I don't love them (yet?) so I wouldn't say that's the case.

Umm... I'm not sure that that's the case, I mean, you use "vous" with superiors, people you know somewhat et c, but once you're using "tu" that doesn't mean that you automatically go from liking a person to loving a person.

In this context, it does. Vous is used for more formal sentences. "Je vous aime" is closer to "I really like you" than "I love you". It's similar to saying that you "love" someone when you really consider them a good friend. Another option is "je t'aime bien".

EDIT: Although as Fass would say, this is only considered an abnormality from an Anglocentric viewpoint. The majority of languages (especially romance languages - Spanish, French, Italian etc.) can use register to distinguish two distinct meanings.

In this context, it does. Vous is used for more formal sentences. "Je vous aime" is closer to "I really like you" than "I love you". It's similar to saying that you "love" someone when you really consider them a good friend.
Really?

Really?

Yes, really.

Yes, really.
Oh. Ok. So I guess they did find a way around that then. :p

Oh. Ok. So I guess they did find a way around that then. :p

You'll find that every single language will be able to express these distinctions easily, but perhaps not in the same way your native one does. It may even be counterintuitive.

EDIT: Although as Fass would say, this is only considered an abnormality from an Anglocentric viewpoint. The majority of languages (especially romance languages - Spanish, French, Italian etc.) can use register to distinguish two distinct meanings.Yes, but he is an exception. No normal person can learn the ins and outs of a single language, let alone multiple language. It is too much for one brain. Looking at our pre-historic development it is quite obvious that there as been no significant pressures to warrant the evolution of multilingualism. Of course, those pressures are starting to appear in modern times, but we have always been the ones forcing our languages on others, so those evolutionary pressures have still missed us.

Yes, but he is an exception. No normal person can learn the ins and outs of a single language, let alone multiple language. It is too much for one brain. Looking at our pre-historic development it is quite obvious that there as been no significant pressures to warrant the evolution of multilingualism. Of course, those pressures are starting to appear in modern times, but we have always been the ones forcing our languages on others, so those evolutionary pressures have still missed us.

Quantum mechanics is too much for one brain. Special relativity is too much for one brain. Using computers is too much for one brain. We didn't evolve to think any of these, but we do. Our brains are literally centered around language processing. We are much more capable, as individuals, of learning new languages than abstract physics or mathematics. Not learning additional languages is simple laziness, nothing else.

No, in English they're similar, but not the same.
They're interchangeable in conersation.
Not that it matters, because nobody really understands anybody else anyway.

Quantum mechanics is too much for one brain. Special relativity is too much for one brain. Using computers is too much for one brain. We didn't evolve to think any of these, but we do. Our brains are literally centered around language processing. We are much more capable, as individuals, of learning new languages than abstract physics or mathematics. Not learning additional languages is simple laziness, nothing else.We evolved with the sole purpose of being able to understand quantum mechanics. Just look at a brain. Although to a normal person it would be obvious. Using torches and yelling to scare a mammoth off a cliff requires an innate understanding of quantum mechanics and absolutely no language abilities whatsoever. If you do not believe me, just try it yourself.

Our brains are literally centered around language processing. We are much more capable, as individuals, of learning new languages than abstract physics or mathematics. Not learning additional languages is simple laziness, nothing else.
Or missed opportunity. If you haven't had significant exposure to a language in your early youth (pre-puberty, or somewhere around there) you have no hope of obtaining fluency. It is like perfect pitch and a handful of other things, if you don't get it hammered into you by your parents early on, it will never happen.

Yes, but he is an exception. No normal person can learn the ins and outs of a single language, let alone multiple language. It is too much for one brain. Looking at our pre-historic development it is quite obvious that there as been no significant pressures to warrant the evolution of multilingualism. Of course, those pressures are starting to appear in modern times, but we have always been the ones forcing our languages on others, so those evolutionary pressures have still missed us.

I am a normal person (well, sort of normal) and I have fairly well learned the ins and outs of a single language (English, if you must know). How do you figure this is not possible?

I started too late to really get a second language (Hablo solamente un poquito de español, menos de un poquito, y yo requerdo tres palabras, si, no y no se), but kids who are raised in a multi-lingual environment seem to do well grasping both languages. My understanding is that a child can easily learn a second language if it is introduced right from the begining.

We evolved with the sole purpose of being able to understand quantum mechanics. Just look at a brain. Although to a normal person it would be obvious. Using torches and yelling to scare a mammoth off a cliff requires an innate understanding of quantum mechanics and absolutely no language abilities whatsoever. If you do not believe me, just try it yourself.

Huh? You either do not know what quantum mechanics is, or your sarcasm simply furthers my point. Our brains are wired for language. Everything else stems from that.

Or missed opportunity. If you haven't had significant exposure to a language in your early youth (pre-puberty, or somewhere around there) you have no hope of obtaining fluency. It is like perfect pitch and a handful of other things, if you don't get it hammered into you by your parents early on, it will never happen.

Yes, true. My fluency in languages I've taught myself as an adult/teenager is severely restricted.

Looking at our pre-historic development it is quite obvious that there as been no significant pressures to warrant the evolution of multilingualism.

I doubt that very much. Why wouldn't humans want to communicate with other tribes and groups? If we look at hunter gatherers the world over, throughout history, they were usually multilingual. In pre-colonial Australia, for example, it was the norm for any given individual to be fluent in not only their native language, but all the languages of the tribes that surrounded their territory.

...how does one tell someone they're interested in them and like them without leaving the possibility that it's interpreted as loving that person?

I was just thinking about this because in french the verbs to like and to love are both aimer. So telling someone "je t'aime" could mean that one either likes someone or one loves someone.

But then is it possible that it's only in languages where there's a difference between the words like and love that using the word love to describe feelings towards another person matter so much...

"Je t'aime" can mean both "I like you" or "I love you".

"Je suis amoureux de toi", i.e. "I am in love with you" leaves no room for ambiguity. Also, "Je tiens beaucoup à toi", meaning "I care a lot about you" is an alternative way of saying you like someone.

Don't worry, we have plenty of ways to convey the correct meaning, despite "aimer" being somewhat ambiguous. French is an extremely rich language, a lot more so than English. And before any of you get their panties in a bunch, it's not just a subjective judgement; as a person who uses both languages fluently and daily, I'm rather qualified to compare the two. English is nice too, but there are a lot of turns of phrase, subtleties that cannot be conveyed easily in it.

You'll find that every single language will be able to express these distinctions easily, but perhaps not in the same way your native one does. It may even be counterintuitive.
Well, I figured that this was probably the case, but I didn't know how they did it.

Well, I figured that this was probably the case, but I didn't know how they did it.
Intonation. Non-verbal language. Emphasis on words. Picking less ambiguous terms like I listed in my previous post. Eye contact.

Trust me, every time I've been in love and told "Je t'aime" to my boyfriend, he never stopped to wonder if I merely liked him.

Huh? You either do not know what quantum mechanics is, or your sarcasm simply furthers my point. Our brains are wired for language. Everything else stems from that.Your confusion surprises me. Maybe you don't read enough of my posts. I suggest you ego search me.

"Je t'aime" can mean both "I like you" or "I love you".

"Je suis amoureux de toi", i.e. "I am in love with you" leaves no room for ambiguity. Also, "Je tiens beaucoup à toi", meaning "I care a lot about you" is an alternative way of saying you like someone.
Ah, thank you for that. :)

Don't worry, we have plenty of ways to convey the correct meaning, despite "aimer" being somewhat ambiguous. French is an extremely rich language, a lot more so than English. And before any of you get their panties in a bunch, it's not just a subjective judgement; as a person who uses both languages fluently and daily, I'm rather qualified to compare the two. English is nice too, but there are a lot of turns of phrase, subtleties that cannot be conveyed easily in it.
I used to be somewhat fluent in French (though issues like this never really came up in the classroom and I never really thought about them) and I find that at the very least French sounds prettier than English. Though I think that English is better at incorporating new words and all.

I used to be somewhat fluent in French (though issues like this never really came up in the classroom and I never really thought about them) and I find that at the very least French sounds prettier than English. Though I think that English is better at incorporating new words and all.

Yeah, I'm a French Canadian from Québec, myself. Meaning that French is my mother language and I speak it in my everyday life. However, interest for videogames and the contents of the internet, coupled with years of watching English movies and series made me more literate in English than a sadly high proportion of people for whom English is a first language.

French doesn't just sound prettier, it's also actually more... vibrant. Colorful. Emotional. English is a great language functionally, I mean it gets the job done, and is less cluttered with absurd grammar rules and exceptions than French is, but it lacks the subtlety and beauty. Poetry in English is quite stale compared to what you can do with French. To stay on topic, love poems in French, for example, easily overshadow their English counterparts. There are bazillions more ways to tell someone you love them in French. I should know, I've used nearly all of them at some point or other while loudly and enthusiastically proclaiming my love to my first boyfriend.

Or missed opportunity. If you haven't had significant exposure to a language in your early youth (pre-puberty, or somewhere around there) you have no hope of obtaining fluency. It is like perfect pitch and a handful of other things, if you don't get it hammered into you by your parents early on, it will never happen.

Wrong, some people have a talent to learn languages fluently, even in their mature years. I dare even say it is hereditary because In my family, each member from grandfather to grandson, speaks at least three languages of which two fluently. Some of us (5 out of the 12) myself included, can speak 5 languages with enough thorough knowledge to converse and write in a professional contents, but also with colloquial contents. We have not all learned the same languages, they vary from the basic French, English, Spanish to the more exotic Swedish, Japanese, Swiss German, Russian, Dutch and this goes without counting the many dialects. I will add that English ( 3 versions: American, Canadian, and British ) is fourth on my list of learned languages.
One should see us during our family reunions, a real tower of Babel.
This goes for everything in life, some are experts with electrical problems, others can't replace a light bulb and I can replace a light bulb in five languages to boot.

...how does one tell someone they're interested in them and like them without leaving the possibility that it's interpreted as loving that person?

I was just thinking about this because in french the verbs to like and to love are both aimer. So telling someone "je t'aime" could mean that one either likes someone or one loves someone.

But then is it possible that it's only in languages where there's a difference between the words like and love that using the word love to describe feelings towards another person matter so much...

How about "I'd snog ya but I wouldn't shag ya"?

How about "I'd snog ya but I wouldn't shag ya"?

I don't have the willpower.

Apart from some of the ways already mentioned, French can modify "aimer" itself to mean different things with the help of "bien" and "beaucoup".

"J'aime bien Fass" expresses a sympathetic liking.

"J'aime beaucoup Fass" expresses a friendly liking.

"J'aime Fass" is an amorous liking, i.e. love.

I've always felt English lacks enough words to describe feelings. The word 'love' is bounded around so often to completely lose any precise definition.

In spanish we have lots of formulas, actually, I find english pretty simple with just "I love you", and "I like you".

Te quiero: Friendly love, or fraternal love.
Te amo: I love you, properly applied perhaps to close family and romantic interest
Me gustas: I like you, I am attracted to you.
Me atraes: I am attracted to you.
Me importas: I care about you.
Te adoro: I adore you, more likely. I love you a lot.
Te deseo: I desire you, typical amongst couples to express physical attraction.

And the list goes on...

How about "I'd snog ya but I wouldn't shag ya"?

"Jte frencherais bien, mais jte fourrerais pas" :D

This is the Québec version. If you wanted to tell someone from France, it'd have to go like this:

"Je veux bien te rouler une pelle, mais pas te nicker".

Bear in mind both phrases I just wrote are heavy with slangs and are by no means to be considered good international French ;)

Japanese does the same. Sukida (好きだ) can mean either I like you or I love you. How people take it is entirely dependent upon the context. Given that the Japanese in general though like to use hidden meanings in their speech, it mostly works out.

"Jte frencherais bien, mais jte fourrerais pas" :D

This is the Québec version. If you wanted to tell someone from France, it'd have to go like this:

"Je veux bien te rouler une pelle, mais pas te nicker".

Bear in mind both phrases I just wrote are heavy with slangs and are by no means to be considered good international French ;)

Just 'cause it's slang doesn't mean it doesn't have a spelling... "nicker" is very un-French. "Niquer" is the proper spelling, which one can easily see in the French version of the South Park movie's "Uncle Fucker" song - "Nique ton oncle":

"Ferme ta putain d'gueule, et nique ton oncle
Enfoiré de fils de pute, tu niques ton oncle
Tu niques ton oncle, c'est connu
Dis pas le contraire, on t'a vu

Non, toi, ta gueule et nique ton oncle
De nous deux c'est toi qui niques ton oncle
Tu manges même plus, tu niques tonton toute la journée

Ferme ta putain d'gueule, et nique ton oncle
Enfoiré de fils de pute, tu niques ton oncle
Y a pas de quoi être fier, t'as bien niqué le tien hier

C'est pas sorcier, dites O-N-C-L-E
Et paf, l'oncle est niqué! (Je vous emmerde!)"

Just 'cause it's slang doesn't mean it doesn't have a spelling... "nicker" is very un-French. "Niquer" is the proper spelling, which one can easily see in the French version of the South Park movie's "Uncle Fucker" song - "Nique ton oncle":

Being from Québec and not from France, I've never had to write "niquer" before in my life, so sue me ;)

Also, I don't watch South Park all that much.

Being from Québec and not from France, I've never had to write "niquer" before in my life, so sue me ;)

I don't write it all that much, either, as "niquer" is quite tame in France nowadays. "Enculer" and "baiser" are more my staple, but I can still surmise how things are spelt in French, dammit, and "nicker" is just a very weird spelling even for a guess.

Also, I don't watch South Park all that much.

Meh, I watch it in French to pick up obscenities like "âne bouffeur de merde, tête de couille, enculeur de porc, couille avariée, putain de gros cul, pine de pingouin, enculé d’empaffé, enfoiré de fils de pute, pine d’huître, lécheur de scrotum, enculeur de chevaux, bite ramollie d’âne châtré, mouchoir à merde, ramolli du gland..." They don't teach you stuff like that in pleasant company.

English is a little bit more flexible than it's been given credit for. Go back a century or so and 'love' was in competition with 'adore', 'cherish' and such. However, it's difficult to imagine such words being used without an excessively plummy upper-class accent...

Meh, I think some people just aren't creative with their English. :p

...how does one tell someone...with your eyes baby.. with your eyes.

Females are specially good at this. ;)

Jte frencherais bien, mais jte fourrerais pasa ben.. tabernak :D
j vas pas me faire prier.

Je veux bien te rouler une pelle, mais pas te nickertu vas etre pratique pout l hiver :D

Just 'cause it's slang doesn't mean it doesn't have a spelling... "nicker" is very un-French. "Niquer" is the proper spelling, which one can easily see in the French version of the South Park movie's "Uncle Fucker" song - "Nique ton oncle":

"Ferme ta putain d'gueule, et nique ton oncle
Enfoiré de fils de pute, tu niques ton oncle
Tu niques ton oncle, c'est connu
Dis pas le contraire, on t'a vu

Non, toi, ta gueule et nique ton oncle
De nous deux c'est toi qui niques ton oncle
Tu manges même plus, tu niques tonton toute la journée

Ferme ta putain d'gueule, et nique ton oncle
Enfoiré de fils de pute, tu niques ton oncle
Y a pas de quoi être fier, t'as bien niqué le tien hier

C'est pas sorcier, dites O-N-C-L-E
Et paf, l'oncle est niqué! (Je vous emmerde!)"O-N-C-L-E
...

:eek:!!!


a merde c vrai !!.. l'enfouare d'merde... il a nique son oncle pour de vrai !!.

with your eyes baby.. with your eyes.

Females are specially good at this. ;)and If the eyes thing dont work.. use "body language" ... its infallible. :D

...how does one tell someone they're interested in them and like them without leaving the possibility that it's interpreted as loving that person?

I was just thinking about this because in french the verbs to like and to love are both aimer. So telling someone "je t'aime" could mean that one either likes someone or one loves someone.
Context. If you say it while shaking hands, or while kissing, it will mean something different.

...how does one tell someone they're interested in them and like them without leaving the possibility that it's interpreted as loving that person?

I was just thinking about this because in french the verbs to like and to love are both aimer. So telling someone "je t'aime" could mean that one either likes someone or one loves someone.

In French you use "aimer" for anything that is likable, use "adorer" for anything you love, including people.
Je t'aime (bien) = I like you (a lot)
Je t'adore = I love you
J'adore ça = I really love that
j'aime ça = I like that

I don't write it all that much, either, as "niquer" is quite tame in France nowadays. "Enculer" and "baiser" are more my staple, but I can still surmise how things are spelt in French, dammit, and "nicker" is just a very weird spelling even for a guess.



Meh, I watch it in French to pick up obscenities like "âne bouffeur de merde, tête de couille, enculeur de porc, couille avariée, putain de gros cul, pine de pingouin, enculé d’empaffé, enfoiré de fils de pute, pine d’huître, lécheur de scrotum, enculeur de chevaux, bite ramollie d’âne châtré, mouchoir à merde, ramolli du gland..." They don't teach you stuff like that in pleasant company.
Fucking gold mine. I can't speak or understand french, yet I am reasonably fluent in in obscenities. It has to do with a french roommate in boarding school and an interesting conflict defined relationship. Anyhow, of late I have faced some problems in that the only french people I meet are insufferables in online games, and when it comes time to whip out the whipping cane, I am left with; "Fam ta putain gurle, salop. Sus ma gros bit tet de papillon de merde. Mange merde catain de cu" and so on. Anyhow, it is rather embarasssing, but how does one ask to spell obscenities?

"Er how do you spell that word in english, the generic explicative asscociated loosely with sex?"
"Fuck?"
"Yeah! Thanks. Fuck you"